Shattered

I wandered through the halls, the smell of something delicious wafting to my nose. My stomach rumbled. Maybe I was ready to try a small bite of food.

That is, if they would let me.

When I saw Tino and Phil sitting in the kitchen, I took a sharp turn around and quietly walked back down the hall. My hopes fell straight through the floor. It’s okay because I could try to make it a few more days.

“Someone finally came down.” A voice murmured behind me. I turned around to see Austin walking out of a bedroom in the back halls. I had never been down there and had planned not to go down that road any time soon.

“Yes, sir.” I responded immediately with nothing else to say. If he gave me chores instead of punishment for nothing I had done, I would count that as a sweet blessing.

“Come here.” He commanded. I quickly scurried to his side and followed submissively as he walked towards the kitchen. I balked back as we started towards Tino and Phil. I looked at the floor, deciding I didn’t want to look into angry eyes.

Austin reached behind me. I flinched a bit as his cool skin brushed against mine. His fingers intertwined in mine to pull me along. We walked behind the island towards the fridge and pantry. As I glanced behind me, I noticed Tino and Phil had looked up from whatever they were doing. Without detaching from Austin, I moved so that I was close by his side.

He pulled a box of crackers out of the pantry and frozen pizza slices from the fridge. Aus handed the sleeve of saltine crackers to me and a box of tea bags. Still using one hand, he opened the microwave and placed the frozen pizza slices in and started to warm them up.

“Eat.” He instructed and raised an eyebrow to me, dropping my hand. He took a kettle out of the cabinets and placed it on the stove, starting to boil water. So he was making more tea for us.

Hesitantly I took the crackers, slipping a few and setting the rest of the sleeve down on the counter. I looked back at him shyly. Aus bobbed his head for me to eat. I nibbled on the edge of a cracker quietly while leaning against the edge of a cabinet. It settled in my stomach and made it feel fuller. Austin hummed with approval and a strange feeling rose in me. Was that happiness? Was I actually happy that I could meet Austin’s approval?

What was this world coming to?!

I finished off three more crackers before finally looking up at Austin. A pale ray of light made a last ditch effort to illuminate the room. It fell upon Austin, making him glow in an almost heavenly light. My eyes couldn’t tear away from the sight of him carefully stirring the mugs of tea. His brown hair glowed in the bronze light, each beautiful strand illuminated. The muscles on his arms and torso were well defined under his tight shirt. I couldn’t stop thinking about those brown eyes, so tender and sweet….

Wait, no, Kynder stop. Was I really falling for this man?

Was I really falling hard for this man with a gentle voice and a tender touch with the beauty to reflect his personality…

Shut up, Kynder! You are not here to fall in love! He probably doesn’t like you back anyways. You’re just some servant to him.

“Good. Here you go.” Aus looked to me, handing a mug of tea. It was the second one of the day but I didn’t care. It helped get the food down and would make my stomach stop rumbling.

I helped put the crackers away and stuck close to Austin’s side as we left the kitchen. Like a shadow in the noon sun, I stuck close by as we passed by Aaron, still talking to Jack and Alex on the phone. He lowered his voice as we passed. Austin pulled me onto the couch. Both of us sipped the evening tea in silence.

When we were done, Austin swept me into his arms with a single motion. I didn’t flinch as he cradled me against his chest.

I didn’t flinch.

I didn’t flinch.

It clicked in my mind just as soon as he nuzzled his head into my neck. It flickered on like a bright bulb. It felt like a little score, a step towards returning to normal. I didn’t feel as much fear with Austin as I did with the others. Maybe, just maybe, he was different than Miles? Would he actually be caring, not abusive?

I didn’t know for now. It had only been just about a week and too early to tell. He could break on the instant and revert to pain as treatment and not tender touches.

But for now, I was alive. I was alive with only scars on my back. I was in the midst of walking towards death, or at least eternal pain, but I was alive.

And maybe….

Just maybe…

Notes