Memories that Haunt Us

The week had gone by as smooth as it could with a new infant. Constant wake ups at ungodly hours with kids that were constantly bored made life challenging. Austin had to meet with the band on Wednesday and Thursday for some recording for their newest album. LP had come over to help take JC and Arabelle out to the San Diego zoo. It was a bit of a trek up there, but she said it was no problem. Kenadee gladly tagged along to provide a little relief to my little sister. Jolie Lucker came and kept me company while I was taking care of Beth, or how JC called her, Bets.

Saturday seemed to be no different. Austin was here today to accompany me. Beth was put out for a nap this afternoon and the bags under my eyes seemed to weigh two tons. The afternoon light burned my tired eyes as it streamed through the windows and spread across the carpeted floor like butter.

“How are you feeling?” Aus asked me. He was in charge of making lunch for the both of us. We were having some good old memories stirred together with pasta and cheese.

“Hungry for Mac and Cheese.” I yawned. Handing me a bowl, the delicious scent wafted up to my nose. Austin washed down the dishes as I finished and handed him my bowl. JC and Arabelle came up to my side. The little boy tugged at my side insistently.

“What is it, JC?” I asked tiredly. His eyes shone up to meet mine. Arabella carried a book under her arm but said nothing.

“Mac?” He asked curiously. It was his favorite food, and he could smell a bowl from two miles away. Austin immediately relieved his needs and handed him a small bowl of the food. Ruffling his fuzzy brown hair, I watched him toddle to the chair in the dining room. Arabelle lingered behind.

“I’ll watch after him, momma.” Her words were muffled as she leaned into my side. I patted her little shoulder. I could always count on my oldest girl to watch over the trouble maker.

“Thank you Arabelle.” I told her, giving her a quick kiss on the top of her little head. Carrying the book she was reading, Arabelle moved to watch over JC. Austin came over to my side. A warm breeze gusted through an open door and made pages of an open magazine flutter in panic.

“Tired?” He whispered in my ear. No, Austin. Taking care of a child was the easiest thing in the world! The sarcastic part of me urged me to snap, but I took a deep breath. No, I wouldn’t be cranky for Aus.

“Tired and achy. My back hurts.” I complained. Aus always was kind enough to listen to my complaints. He smiled and helped from my chair, guiding me back to the bedroom to sleep. Beth was softly breathing in the corner in her little bed. Tiny fingers clutched open air as dreams fluttered through her head like delicate butterflies.

“I’ll rub your back.” Austin offered. I grumbled an agreement and stretched out. His merciful hands tamed and banished the knots in my muscles as I put my head in my arms. My mind was numb under his tender touch. I sighed as he laid down beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“Feeling better?” He asked. I nodded as the stiffness faded. When he was home, we usually took shifts like this. During my own nap, Austin would look after Beth. Although she was currently asleep, Austin would stay up to make sure she didn’t start crying or was too distraught. Drifting off to a light slumber, I could feel the dark circles on my face fade away.

When I woke up, it was five o’clock. As I glanced at the clock, I grumbled unhappily. Austin was supposed to wake me up two hours ago! Falling back on the bed, a weight inside of me pressed on my stomach.

Glancing at the little cradle, I noticed Beth was gone. An alarm went off like a screeching siren in my head. Jumping out of bed on shaky legs, I stared at the empty sheets. My feet managed to carry me to the door as I opened it up, ready to call the Swat team.

“Pretty little lady with the swollen eyes won’t you show them to me?” A melodic voice sang softly from the living room couch. As I quietly approached, I saw Austin holding Beth in his arms, quietly singing to the two week old child. She grasped on to Austin’s index finger tightly as her wide eyes were glazed over. Beth was entranced with her father’s voice. His soothing music kept weaving through the air. It was a lovely ballad that Aus used to sing to me.

“Beth seems to love your song.” I commented as he finished. Aus looked up, shocked that I was awake before coming over to me with little Beth in his caress.

“Arabelle used to love the song, remember?” He chuckled quietly. Of course, how could I forget! Our oldest daughter always requested Austin sing it to her. Now her tastes had changed. She loved Let Live, but honestly, who didn’t?

“Oh, I remember. Arabelle likes Let Live now, and Would You Still Be There.” I thought back to her on the side of the stage at one of Austin’s shows. He loved to bring out his children and show them off. JC always sat by Tino back behind a few amps and had great fun being by the drums.

All the boys bet that JC would be a drummer when he grew up. Aaron declared that JC was even a drummer’s name.

“Before you get even more panicked, LP and Kenadee took the kids to the park by the studio. JC really wanted to go, so don’t worry when you feel their absence.” Austin laughed quietly. Beth gurgled with him. She was probably going to grow up to be a daddy’s girl.

“Oh good. I was about to ask where JC had went. It’s been unusually quiet.” I responded with relief flooding through me. Just as the relief washed away the fear, something hit me hard in the chest. A sense of danger of foreboding. I bent over like I had a bad cramp. Some fear rose up through me.

“Arabelle.” I whispered. Something about her made me panic and cry out. Austin came to my side.

“Rae, what is it?” He asked with worry. I could only think of Arabelle as a hollow feeling came through me. I had felt just like this when LP was shot, when I saw my mom dead on the floor. Why it was hitting me now, I didn’t know. The clock struck 5:30.

“Arabelle.” I repeated. Austin led me to the couch to sit me down and put Beth back in her cradle. He sat next to me and held my hand as slowly the hollow feeling disappeared. The world seemed to turn normal once again.

“What about her?” He asked. I shook my head. Maybe this was just a hallucination from being sleep deprived.

“I just had a bad feeling about Arabelle. It’s probably nothing.” I gave him a weak smile. Austin looked hesitant to accept the gesture but nodded.

“She’s in good hands.” He patted my shoulder and gave me a kiss before going back to the kitchen.

Notes

I have to be honest....I love the song, Product of a Murderer! You might see lyrics in the titles of chapters quite a bit :D

Rate/Comment/Subscribe!