One Hundred And One Sleepless Nights

I thought that maybe being away from work for a week might make it seem all the better when I returned. I was wrong. I've always said that I only come for one reason. Or maybe two reasons. One being the money which is kind of the main reason. I had to stop modelling when Alex came along. I could only work at certain times of the day so it wasn't paying enough. But the other reason is my girls. Laurie and Debbie and almost polar opposites, that's why we're such a good trio.
Debbie is a complete pessimist. She's a career woman. A smoothie before work and she changes into a pair of Jimmy Choo's when she arrives (the Prada's are just for the commute). Divorced twice before she married 'the useless shit'. I don't know what his name is, she's only ever referred to him as the useless shit. Whenever I talk about Vic she reminds me that my glass is half empty.
She is evened out by Laurie. Laurie is a young, ditsy, airy blonde from San Francisco who only understands finances if you relate them to the price of shoes. She is a breath of fresh air. A complete optimist. There is a rainbow after every storm. She would still want me to get with Vic if he threatened to string me up and eat my uterus.
We don't really have very long breaks at work. We more stop work every fifteen minutes for a chat and a chocolate biscuit. Now the second I walked in the door after pleasantries (the useless shit was useless and Laurie's puppy Rufus nearly ate the turkey straight out of the oven) they started quizzing me.
"So he's engaged?" Laurie asked, sounding pretty broken hearted.
"Yeah." I confirmed.
"I always knew he was useless as Owen," Debbie exclaimed. To which we both frowned at her. "The useless shit." she explained for us.
"What's she like?" Laurie asked. "Is she nice?"
"About as interesting as a baked potato." I replied. I don't really know because I haven't spoken to her much. But she's probably as bland as plain cous cous.
"Maybe you could be friends." Laurie offered.
"Fat chance," Debbie laughed. "It's time you set your sights on a new victim. There has to be another guy."
"Actually I met someone on New Years." I admitted.
"Who?" Laurie asked, her eyes bright.
"His name is Jack. I know him through Vic. He's in a band Vic's toured with." I explained.
"Did he give you your New Years kiss?" Debbie mocked.
"He gave me more than that!" I laughed.
"Zee!" Laurie gasped. She's at that age where she can't quite say the word sex without giggling. Bless the youngens'.
"Was he any good?" Debbie asked, obviously not caring about what she's saying. Before I've been given a second by second breakdown of a romantic hotel night with the useless shit.
"Yeah," I nodded. "He hasn't called me since though. No one has." I mumbled.
"Plenty of fish in the sea." Laurie said brightly.
"Not for me. I'm a single mother. They're not queuing around the block."
"You have loads to offer!" Laurie argued.
"She has a point," Debbie thought. "Besides, you don't need a fish. All you need is the fishing pole and if it has a few different settings all the better."
"Fucking hell." I laughed. But let's be honest, she's not lying.

While Alex was at school the next day I went to meet Austin and Jemma for coffee. When they both want to meet me at the same time it makes me all nervous. It can only be bad news. Are they dying? Are they leaving the country? Are they splitting up? So when I walked inside and ordered a latte I was rather anxious.
I spotted them in the corner and went to sit down. "Hey." I smiled.
"Hi Zee." Jemma squeaked.
"Smooth." Austin rolled his eyes at her and got up to hug me. I sat down and raised my eyebrows at them. Something isn't right.
"What's up?" I asked.
"We have something to tell you." Austin said.
"Is it bad?" I chewed on my lip.
"No, it's great!" Jemma assured me.
"Go on then." I urged.
"Over Christmas I asked Jemma to marry me," Austin admitted. I gasped and looked between them. "And she said yes. We're getting married, Zee."
"That's fantastic!" I beamed. I pulled them both in for a hug and grinned.
"Zee, we're really good friends. I mean we're not as close as Austin and you. But you're my best friend." Jemma said.
"You're mine." I told her.
"So... I think it's right for me to ask you to be my Maid of Honour."
"Are you serious?!" I asked excitedly. They both nodded and I giggled. "Oh my gosh, yes!" I yelled. "Of course I will."
"Thank you." Austin beamed at me.
"Do we need to start planning yet?" I joked.
"Definitely." Jemma told me. Oh no, I think she's serious.
"Why so soon?" I asked.
"Well..." she smiled. "I want to make sure I still look skinny in my dress."
"Why would you look fat?" I frowned. Then it clicked. "You weren't drinking at New Years." I added. Jemma was nodding. Austin was grinning. I was screaming. "You're pregnant!" I exclaimed loudly.
"Shhh." Jemma giggled.
"We're pregnant." Austin said. I don't know why he's pregnant too, it's not like he'll have to push the thing out.
"You have to promise not to tell anyone. The only other people that know are Alan and Vic." Jemma said.
"Why Vic?" I grumbled.
"He saw us buying the test. We had to tell him." Austin said and I nodded in understanding.
"But why can't anyone know?" I asked.
"My parents would flip. That's why we're getting married as soon as we can. We can say it's a honeymoon baby." she explained.
"Hmm good. Having a baby out of wedlock is sinful." I said wisely. At least Jemma isn't following in my footsteps.

Notes

Hey! I'm bringing this to you slightly drunk with a cut on my knee. Today is now technically my birthday! Wish me a good one ;) but anyway what did you think? Did you like it? Don't get too offended by my jokes, they're all for harmless fun :)