Dear Austin...

July 26th....

"Rae, can you get me a glass of water please?" A voice wafted through the house into my room on the second story. A warm breeze blew on the sunny day outside. While the joyous cheers of kids sang through the air, I could tell they were from another street close by. The kids on our street were all on vacation. Only Lily-Pearl's friend from up the street seemed to be at home for this week. Today was mild and unexciting.

My mother's surgery had gone great, better than expected. Although that was about three weeks ago, the recovery time was a little over a month and mom was at home, still in pain and taking pain relief medication pills like they were little white capsule solid happiness.

"Sure thing!" I called down to her again. My gut instantly clenched into a knot at the thought of making her raise her voice. It hurt for her to raise her voice to loud. Her surgery was a double mastectomy, meaning she had to have both breasts removed for the chance of breast cancer coming back to be reduced to basically zero.

I was texting Sara. We'd kept in touch throughout the summer and I had often relayed my messages that Austin had sent me to her. She sent me back long, all caps locked, ASDFASDFASDF back each time. She was just as excited as me.

S: ASDFASDFASDF the last letter was amazing! U R so lucky!
Me: You were so right! He did right back! Why did I ever doubt you?!
S: I don't know! I told you though! You need to believe me more! XD
Me: Mom is calling, i'll txt you later!
S: Hey, you better give me updates on her! Otherwise, i'll just walk ten miles to your house! You know how much I hate walking!
Me: Haha, okay, i'll keep you updated (On letters to!) TTYL

I ran downstairs to where our kitchen was. A warm ray of light spread like melted butter on our wood floors. I revealed in it for a moment, glancing out the window to the rose garden, before I stretched up to our cabinets to grasp a glass. I filled it with ice and water before delivering it to my mom.

"Thanks, R." She told me. I leaned down and very gently gave her a side hug. I could hear LP's little feet pitter-pattering upstairs as she moved around in her room. She grimaced as she pushed the glass rim of the cup to her lips and drank eagerly.

"Let me know if you need anything." I told her before running back upstairs. As I entered my room, I plugged my phone into the charger and stared outside briefly. I could hear a car roar faintly in the distance. The sound echoed in the silent day as the kids' conversations died down briefly.

"Hey R, dad's away for the week." My mom called to me as I sat upstairs. I let a small smile escape. Mom didn't sound unhappy either.

I had a feeling this week would be awesome.

I had an amazing idea. I reached down to my bedside and pulled up my personal laptop and opened the lid. I pressed down on the power button and heard the familiar hum as the fan kicked on and the computer booted up. The familiar screen of the Bring Me the Horizon logo on my desktop appeared. After a moment of the systems loading, I pulled open my music and turned on some OM&M songs, a word document, and some OM&M interviews.

I a few different interviews, laughing hysterically for the next ten minutes. From there, I had an idea.

One thing I loved to do was organize things into lists. I have a variety of lists stashed in the nooks and crannies of my room. They range from my favorite galaxies to favorite animals. I stared at one of my favorite lists, one that I constantly added on to. At the end of it, two days ago I tacked on number 24: Meet Of Mice and Men

Based on that list, I created a new one called, 10 Things to To If I Could Hang with Austin Carlile For a Day.

The door creaked open. A small head poked around the corner.

"Rae." LP's small voice echoed up to me. She clutched her broken pony in one hand. The tawny color had worn down somewhat from the constant use of the toy.

"Hi, LP. What are you up to?" I asked her. She came into my room. Her green shirt was wrinkled from laying on the ground. Lily-Pearl had gotten it from a school function. She had gotten it from some game or another.

"Are you listening to your yelling music?" She asked, coming up to the edge of the bed where I sat. I took my other headphone of my ear. The faint beat of the guitar and drums could be heard from it. I nodded.

"Is it Alan?" She asked, picking up on the faint guitar. Looking down at the song, My Understandings, I smiled and nodded.

"But is Austin mad?" She pondered. I thought, remembering back to an interview.

"Austin says he lets out his anger and rage through his music, but he's a happy person." I tried to explain.

"So he's happy when he's singing?" LP asked again. Once more, I confirmed it. She stayed silent after that. Quickly, I paused my music before I could miss any more of the song.

My sister clutched her horse in her hands. She was always very careful not to drop it or hurt it any how. It's little leg had stayed glued together from the day I had fixed it.

"I'm writing a list." I explained to her as she watched my fingers swiftly tap each letter, spelling out rows of lines.

"What's it about?" LP asked. Her small hands nimbly hoisted her on the bed. Her little head came and leaned against my shoulder while reading the letters.

"If I could hang out with Austin for a day, what would I do?" I repeated to her. Her eyes gleamed.

"Play horsies with Alan." She murmured to me, pointing at the next empty space.

"Done." I finished the line for her.

I continued to type.

1. Sing very loudly in a car with the windows down.
2. Play the Dot game.
3. Go buy monster at midnight.
4. Lily-Pearl: Play horsies with Alan.
5. Watch Disney movies.
6. Go crowd surfing.
7. Lily-Pearl: Play Chalk
8. Hang at Warped Tour
9. Lily-Pearl: Catch snakes.
10. Just hang out

I revised the name of my list to be 10 I Would Do If I Could Hang Out with Austin For A Day (And If LP Could Play with Alan) When I finally decided I was satisfied with the list, I hit print at my computer. A minute later, a faint whirl from the printer told us that it was done.

"LP, can you go get it?" I asked her. She blinked back at me and was off, scooting downstairs to retrieve the paper. Her small steps echoed in the house as she tromped upstairs and appeared at my side again. She handed me the paper, which I immediately tacked up on a wall next to three other lists.

"I'm going to go play horsies now." She told me before scampering off into her room. I read the clock as she left. Three glowing numbers told me it was 2:40 in the afternoon. I plugged my headphones in my ears, now blasting Pierce the Veil music. I new from memory that Sleeping with Sirens was up next and I closed my eyes to let the music drown out anything else.

Notes

Sorry for the longer chapter, but this one's pretty exciting! Upcoming: More excitement for Rae and LP in later chapters!

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