Viviana p.o.v.

The worst feeling is being disappointed by someone you care a lot about.
You think they will always be there for you and shit, but it’s not true, you are just an hobby.
That is what happened between me and Jaime, I though he liked me, that we could be a couple, but it was just a silly hope. Meeting Jess confirmed all my biggest fears: for him I wasn’t nothing, just a way to cope with the break-up with his girlfriend.
That was horrible, I couldn’t speak to him because every time I recalled Jess’s words and I felt worst and worst.
The break was a bless for me, for three weeks I won’t see him, it was a long time to decide what to do: ignore Jess’s words or split definitely with him.
San Diego was a beautiful city, some memories tried to come off from my mind when we landed here, but I was too young to remember it clearly.
They were like ghost in a grey day, nothing was clear, luckily I had got Sofia and Fanny by my side.
We all went to live in Tony house, who was a huge mansion, with a simple but nice furniture, I felt good here.
It was all good till I unpacked my things and ate with the dudes, then bad thoughts took me over: I remember my mother, her bad words, the bullies in my school and what Jess said to me.
It was too much to stand.
I never cut, but now I understood why Sofia did it. Suddenly your brain turned into a cruel enemy and you didn’t know how to fight your fears.
So the first evening I decided to go outside, hanging around for a while in the city, drinking in some bars would be good. Maybe for a while I couldn’t think about at all the things that were driving me crazy.
Love is dangerous.
Tom DeLonge was right.
The first bar we choose was a nice one with live music and a good amount of punk rockers, skaters and weirdos in general.
Me and Fanny ordered some beer, it was her first beer in California that she could drink. Luckily she was already 21.
We were chatting when two guys came towards our table: the first has got blonde hair, shoulder length and green eyes, the other has got messy black hair and brown eyes.
“Hi, are you alone?”
“Yeah, kinda.”
They sat on the two free chairs.
“We can talk a little.”
“Yeah, what’s your name?”
“I’m Dean and my friend is Andreas.”
“Cool, I’m Viviana.”
“I’m Fanny, nice to meet you.”
“What a strange accent, where are you from, Fanny?”
“I’m Canadian.”
“Are you free, honey?”
Fanny became cold all in a sudden.
“Nope, I’ve got a boyfriend and I don’t wanna cheat on him.”
Dean was clearly disappointed.
“Oh, sorry. My friends are calling me.”
He went away, leaving us with Andreas.
“And you, Viviana?”
“I’m from New York and I’m free.”
We talked a little bit, than he left. Obliviously he preferred Fanny, I was always the second choice of everyone, no one really cared about me or liked me.
I tried to do my best to be nice, but I always failed.
I finished my beer, and I was about to say to Fanny to go in another bar when I saw him.
Jaime was kissing a girl, a blond, dumb slut.
My glass fell down on the floor and broke, I get up and I paid everything to the barman than I ran away.
“Are you okay, Viviana?”
“Yes, I am. I just wanna go home.”
“Okay.”
We went to our car and Fan sat at the driver seat, while I curled up in the passenger trying not to cry. I had got a room made for cry at the mansion.
I felt betrayed, he claimed he liked me and in less of a day he was kissing another girl. He couldn’t give two fucks about me.
I’m just a stupid girl, no one will ever want a fat, ugly mess like me.
When we finally arrived to the house I jumped down from the car and ran into my room, I locked the door and I laid on my bed. Tears finally came down on my face, streaming on my checks and dying on the pillow.
I heard some knocks at the door, but I didn’t bother to answer, I don’t wanna talk to anyone of how much I felt hurt. Fanny gave up after a while and an hour later I heard footsteps: my sister and Tony were back home.
I felt sad and happy for her: sad because I was alone once again and happy because she found out someone who loves her and God knows how much she deserved it.
I fell asleep crying and I woke up with a big headache, luckily I could stay alone most of the day: Sofia and Tony were out and Fanny was chatting with Alan on Skype.
It was a boring day, it was a sad day.
At the evening I went out alone – Tony had to meet his friend Jaxin, Sofia was out with a friend and Fanny wanted to sleep – and I hung around for a while before choosing a local.
It was a really small local with loud house music – shit – and it was full of cool people and I could give two fucks about them: I just wanna get drunk.
I ordered a shot of vodka and then another and another.
I pushed all the stupid boys away, except one. He offered me some pills to get high and wasted. I never tried drugs – Sofia warned me enough about how dangerous are – but tonight I was in the mood to do some experiments, so I took one.
I was about to ingest it when a male voice talked to me.
“I won’t do it if I was you.”
I turned my head around and I see a skinny guy with black hair shaved on one side of the head and a gorgeous brown eyes with also some green in it.
I was stunned.
“What’s your name?”
“Matt Healy.”
He answered with a huge British accent.
I threw the pill away and smile at him. We were both awkward, so maybe we could be awkward together.
An handsome boy like him never spoke to me, so I was curious about the whole situation and ready to make new acquaintances.

Notes

Ok. Please please please give me some feedback. I need to know if this story is okay, interesting or whatever because I'm writing it without a plot. So please comment. And subscribe. And rate.
Anyway he is Matt Healy (from The 1975), the guy who met Viviana.