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Bulletproof Love

I Can't Love Him.

Ellie's POV

When we were in the car heading home, I saw in the car mirror that Megan had fallen asleep in her car seat. I pulled up in the driveway and parked the car. I hopped out and got Megan out of her car seat, trying my hardest not to wake her up. I closed the door with my foot and locked the car, then I walked to the front door.
Megan was still peacefully sleeping in my arms, but she always was a heavy sleeper anyways so she never woke up. I opened the front door and instantly headed up to Megan's bedroom so I could put her to bed. I opened her door, placed her in bed, pulled the covers over her little body and tucked her in. She slightly shuffled about a bit but she was still fast asleep, I kissed her forehead and walked to the door.

"Night princess" I whispered. I turned her light off and closed the door behind me.
I headed back downstairs and went straight to the kitchen. I got out a bottle of wine that I saved and poured myself a glass, I took a massive gulp and smiled. How I've missed the taste of alcohol..

I walked to the lounge and plonked myself on the couch. I didn't watch tv or anything, I just sat there thinking about literally everything and anything that's happened recently.
Who the hell does that Katie girl think she is to threaten me? I have done absolutely nothing to her, Megan hasn't even done anything to her, so why does she hate me so much? Okay yes, I did suddenly appear back into Jaime's life with a 4 year old daughter he never knew he had, but it's got nothing to do with her. If she has a problem with it then she can leave, Jaime would never pick her over his own daughter, or I'd hope to think that was true anyway.
Also what makes me feel even worse is that after tonight I've suddenly realised how much I am still in love with Jaime and I know that I'm going to getting heartbroken again, it always happens to me. I tried so hard to ignore and push those small feelings I had for him in the back of my mind, but they got bigger and now it's completely impossible to deny them.

why are you such a fuck up? I shook my head to get rid of the voice in the back of my mind.

The more I was thinking the sooner I realised that I had drank a whole bottle of wine. I stood up but I fell straight back down because I felt really dizzy. Great I'm drunk. I haven't been drunk or even drank any alcohol since Ellie was born, I was trying to change for her. Everything was spinning and I felt so awful. Then the doorbell rang, I looked at the clock.

11:45.

who the hell comes to my house at this time of night?
I groaned and slowly got up, taking hold of anything that would keep me from falling over and walked to the door, getting dizzier every step I took. I opened the door and saw Tony.

"Turtle, what you doing here?" I slurred a little.

"I just- wait, are you drunk?" He asked, completely ignoring my question.

"N-no" I shook my head, but Tony didn't believe it for a split second.

"Come on" He put my arm around the back of his neck and walked me back in the lounge, closing the door behind us. We sat down and I just stared at the floor not wanting to speak to him at all because I know how this is all going to end.

"Spill, what's made you do this? You seemed fine earlier" He asked, I didn't replied, I didn't trust myself because I felt the tears threatening to fall.

"Seriously Ellie, what is wrong?" He asked again sounding more concerned, I just sighed.

"Everything" I mumbled quietly but loud enough for him to hear.

"What do you mean, what's happened?" He asked worried.

"Everything Tony, everything is wrong!" I said a little louder, "everything, Jaime's stupid girlfriend hates my guts for some unknown reason considering I haven't said a single word other than 'hi' to her or not even that, she thinks she has the right to threaten me to 'stay aways from Jaime', she doesn't like Megan for some reason as well which makes me angry because Megan has done nothing wrong and also my job is stressful, all this paperwork I've been given is stressing me out, I just can't handle all this!" I shouted slightly as the tears started to pour down my face. I couldn't look at Tony, I felt like an idiot. I put my head in my hands but Tony just pulled me closer to him and hugged me.

"It's going to be okay, you can just ignore her, she's not always there" He said as he stroked my hair.

"I can't go over to his house anymore, it's not just because of her" I said crying on his chest.

"What else is wrong, why don't you want to go to his?" His voice sounded really concerned at this point. I debated whether to tell him or not, I trusted Tony, he wouldn't say anything right?

"I can't tell you, if I say it out loud it will all become real and I don't want that to happen, it's just all in my head" I said.

"Tell me, I'm your best friend! You can trust me Ellie" He said as he made me look at him. I started to cry again because as soon as I say it, it will all become real.

"I-I'm, I'm in love with Jaime still Tony, and I can't because he's got that stupid girlfriend of his. I tried so fucking hard to push away all those feelings I had for him but I just couldn't, they just came back and hit me right in the face. He doesn't even think of me in that way anymore, he hasn't for over 4 year now. This is why I never wanted to see him again because I knew that he would end up back in my life somehow again, I would fall for him all over again and I would get my heartbroken, I always do. It's always me, why am I always the fuck up who gets her heart broken?!" I was literally sobbing now. I started to stand up because I felt embarrassed that I admitted all of that to him but Tony sat me back down and put me on his lap.

"Listen to me, you are defiantly not a fuck up Ellie, don't ever think that. No one can help who they fall in love with. I've always thought that you and him were perfect for each other to be honest, he just an idiot for my realising it" he said, "Katie on the other hand has no right to threaten you at all, I'm going to speak to her when I see-" I cut him off.

"No, don't say anything to her, it will just make it worse" I pleaded.

"Ellie, for fuck sake, she has no right to do that to you and get away with it, especially if it make you do this and you know that!" He said point at me in my state. I just looked down in shame, I didn't know what to say, "also with your Jaime situation, I think he does still have feelings for you" He admitted.

"No he doesn't Tone, your just saying that to try and make me feel better" I sighed.

"No seriously, did you not see the way he looked at us when I cuddled you at his house earlier? He was kinda jealous" He said with a smirk and wriggling his eyebrows, I just rolled my eyes at him.

"Even if he was, it doesn't matter because he still has that bitch he calls a girlfriend" I said plainly with no emotion in my voice because what I said was true, she is a complete and utter bitch and Jaime will always love her, "I can't be around him anymore Tone, I'm being serious!" I meant it, I just couldn't face to see him anymore.

"Is that fair for him to take away his daughter that he's only known for not even a week?" He asked. I knew he was right, I just put my head down.

"I know, it's just so hard" I said sadly.

"I understand that, I really do but you've got to try and move on" He said.

"That's the problem Tone, I can't, it's not that fucking easy!" I said slightly irritated. He just sighed.

"Look, it's late and you look like you need your sleep. Go to bed and I'll be here in the morning okay?" He said, I just nodded and then stood up.

"And I'm sorry for piling all of this on you Tony, it's not fair for you" I said feeling guilty.

"It's fine silly, what are bestfriends for right? Just go!" He smiled and I did what I was told. I was still dizzy and now I felt slightly sick but I shook it off. I walked up the stairs very carefully, trying not to fall over my own feet. I eventually made it all the way to the top and went to my bedroom. I opened the door and immediately ran for the bathroom. I knelt on the floor in front of the toilet and just threw up, it burnt the back of my throat which made me feel even worse. When I was to the point where there was literally nothing left in my stomach to throw up, I brushed my teeth to take away the horrible taste I had in my mouth and went to put my pj's on.
When I was all ready I walked over to my bed, hopped in and curled up into a tight ball with the covers over my my head just wanting to disappear. I instantly passed out after..

Notes

2 updates in one day!:D

Comments

@emilypfletcher
I know, I was just joking because little Megan really really liked Mike :-D

PoshKiwi21 PoshKiwi21
5/26/14

YASSSSS please. Okay love the story xD love you to....okay bye. c:

Whateverr Whateverr
5/26/14

@PoshKiwi21
I don't think that could happen, there is like a 25 years age gap, that's weird hahah

alltimeblowww alltimeblowww
5/26/14

YES I WAS THINKING ABOUT SUGGESTING THAT OMG

paramorefan1221 paramorefan1221
5/26/14

yaasssss

Owlinahround Owlinahround
5/25/14