Don't tell me I'm Beautiful.

That last kiss he gave me left me breathless for hours, before I realized I was pretty much nothing to him. He lied to me, and that was it. Two weeks ago I met him, let him take my virginity, give me my first kiss. I felt used, granted I could have said no just as easily, but he had seemed so different, like he wanted me.


I suppose I've never known what that felt like so I jumped instantly. Right now I was checking my daily schedule and growled some when I saw I had to work Of Mice and Men's set in an hour. If he was going to ignore me why would I want to help him. I felt Brad pat my shoulder as he walked by exiting the bus and I just looked at the floor. I felt so alone again, alone and hurt.


I made my way up to the main stage, eyes cast to the ground the entire time only glancing up to make sure I didn't run into anyone or anything. I walked up the steps and waved lightly to Kenny as I walked back and began my daily routine. Whimpering some when I saw Alan and Austin walking closer and waving to me. I just nodded to them and tried not to show the pain in my eyes as I helped hook up amps quickly. "Nicole how are you, haven't seen you lately." Alan said as he stepped closer and I shivered involuntarily, and looked up at him. "Why don't you ask your drummer why that is, because I would sure love to know what I did to be used." I whispered a little more than harshly and walked away to a confused looking Alan before I spotted Tino walking up, looking like a deer caught in headlights.


I turned away, almost sure if I looked at him any longer I would burst into tears. I felt like pure shit, my stomach churned, my palms got all sweaty, and I wanted to puke. It's sad that the sight of him, who I thought would be turning into something great for me, made me feel so miserable. I glanced back, Alan still looking a little confused, Tino still staring in my direction and whined to myself as I looked at the ground, praying god would just let me disappear in that moment.


'Grow a pair Nicole, tell him off.' My brain told me as I stood frozen there in that spot. I suddenly felt myself walking, as if someone else was doing it, straight up to him and looked up. Before I knew what I was doing, I kissed him roughly then slapped him across the face. "You think you get the last words in, the last say in what happened.... Bullshit... Maybe you should have just been honest with me Tino, I mean for christ sakes I let you take my virginity for you to fucking ignore me." I hissed lowly at him and glared, the rest of his band looking on with wide eyes. "If all you wanted was a one night stand, why couldn't you have let me know before I let my feelings get the better of me, I told you I'd never been with someone. I'D NEVER EVEN BEEN KISSED BEFORE THAT NIGHT." I shouted and glared at him. "So thanks for breaking me, even more than I already was. I didn't know it was possible until you came along." I said before walking away, tears stinging at my eyes.

Notes

Sorry if this was a tad short, but Steph and I have some plans in the works and I wanted to get Nicole's feelings out in the open easily and quickly, now off to Steph. :)