Leilani's POV:

"Do you actually hear what's coming out of your own mouth right now? I mean correct me if I'm wrong but you asked me to kiss you, did you not?" Austin didn't even try to keep his voice lowered, he was fuming. The moment his cold words exploded from his lips all eyes were on us. Tarni shot me a worried look, her eyes asking if I needed help, I shook my head back. I could handle myself.

"Austin, you're making this more uncomfortable than it needs to be.." I groaned.

"Do you think I fucking care if you're uncomfortable?" the burning of everyone's eyes seared holes in my skin, I couldn't stand it any more.

"I don't expect you to but I do expect you to care about getting your ass flattened by a barely five foot girl in front of all your friends," I laughed and so did everyone else, "again," I found it necessary to remind him if it happened once it can happen again. He lowered his head.

"Lets just go to the show," he started to walk towards the car but I grabbed his wrist stopping him in his tracks. "Can you let go please? You're hurting me," he whispered, obviously so his ego wasn't damaged in front of his friends. I loosened my grip.

"Can we talk after the show. You just don't understand that I'm doing this for you," I sighed knowing I'd have to tell him everything.

"You can't say that because if you were doing it for me you wouldn't be doing this, you would have kissed me back and been happy," his voice was full of angst and hurt. I didn't say anything else I just walked towards Tarni grabbing her hand as we jumped in the car Austin wasn't going to be in, Alan attached to her other hand.

"What the fuck was that?" I couldn't believe Tarni was yelling at me of all people. "Earlier all you could talk about was Austin and how you wanted to kiss him and you just blew it!" Alan staring right at me as if he was shocked I was even interseted in his best friend.

"Tarni don't please, how do you think I feel?" she started to respond but I cut her off, "It's easy for you to get in a relationship Tarns, you weren't raped!" I sobbed. "You don't have trust issues like I do nor did you get locked up for eight years and have a parole office watching your every move! I'd never see him again once he leaves Australia, I can't even go with him around the country let alone overseas. There's no point getting my hopes up!" I shrieked gasping for air after my rant. She looked over with sympathetic eyes.

"You were raped?" Alan's dopey voice intervened.

"Don't feel sorry for me I dealt with it." I couldn't believe how blunt I was being and by the look on Tarni's face neither could she. Before anything else was said we pulled up at the RNA Show Grounds and were ushered out of the car. We exited the car directly into a confined tent and without a word were pushed into another room. A tall, skinny man with sandy blonde hair appeared from nowhere and spoke up.

"Okay everybody," he started catching everyone's attention, "I'm Ben Ralph and I'm your tour manager while you guys are down here in Aus. This is your change room for the night and you'll go out that door," he pointed behind us all, "and down the hall to the left to get to the side stage. You'll be on stage in two hours so you've got plenty of time to prepare since all tuning and sound check was done yesterday. Enjoy," he finished and walked out of the room. I stood in the corner of the room literally twiddling my thumbs while Tarni sat on a couch next to Alan flirting until their hearts content and the rest of the boys played games or stuffed their faces with the complimentary food. I decided to go outside and get away from being the odd one out.

When I walked outside I caught a glimpse of Ben taking a drag from his cigarette. Score. I walked over to stand beside him. He looked over to me and smiled.

"You know I don't think it's a good idea for the boys to have girls following them around, especially girls they're not officially involved with it's just a distraction," I nodded.

"Don't worry, I don't exactly want to be here myself I wont be distracting anyone." I looked down at his hand craving one myself, "Could you spare one?" he pulled the packet out of his pocket and handed it over with his lighter. I pulled one out and handed back the packet. As I lit the smoke in my mouth and inhaled my body immediately relaxed.

"Why are you here then?" it almost sounded like he was ordering me to answer him.

"I changed my mind but I was already on my way here. You don't have to worry about me being at other shows," he smiled and walked back inside leaving me to finish the smoke on my lonesome. I never used to smoke until I went to Wacol, it was a privilege and I think everyone who didn't smoke ended up doing it because it meant you got to go outside for that small amount of time. My thoughts were interrupted by someone poking at my hips as if they were trying to scare me but nothing really surprised me any more. If I considered it a threat I would've reacted but because of my parole agreement I was trying not to beat the living daylight of anyone who put their hands on me.

"I didn't know you smoked, you know it's bad for you," I wasn't surprised that it was Austin's voice erupting from behind me.

"That's because I didn't tell you and did you know I don't really care because they make me feel better," he sighed.

"You shouldn't need them to make you feel better," he preached.

"Tell that to your four friends who blazed out the hotel room the other night when we came back from the nightclub," I retorted.

"Forget about them, lets talk about us," I scoffed at the word 'us'.

"There is no us Austin," I insisted.

"There can be!" he sounded so hopeful.

"Austin you can't seriously tell me you want to try and see a girl who just got out of prison for something you don't know anything about. I'm on parole for practically the rest of my life it'd never work out especially with you touring!" I dictated. I took the last drag of my smoke and threw it to the ground stepping on it the put out the light.

"Jesus Leilani, don't you see it? I don't care what you did, it doesn't define who you are. I like you not your past! I really would love to get to know you," his hands were placed on my shoulders now and he was lightly shaking me as if doing so would make me understand.

"Austin," I sighed, "I'm not allowed to leave Queensland, not even to visit my Mum and you leave for New South Wales in two days. Then once you finish your tour here in Australia you go back to the US. There's no point in us trying when I'll never see you again after Monday," I finished, there was nothing else to say.

"What in the world could you have done that refrains you from travelling interstate?" I've confused this man so much it was incredible.

"If I were to tell you, you'd run," I stammered at the thought of Cole.

"Babe, I promise it wont scare me away," he empathized, the word 'babe' gave me goosebumps, the good kind at that but he didn't notice.

"Would you really still be standing there?" I looked away. He laughed and I just looked back up at him totally unamused at him finding enjoyment out of what I was asking.

"Oh yeah I so would, I'd find the words, I'd shape the world and I'd turn back time so I could be here with you," he was still laughing but I had no idea what the fuck he was on about and I think he realised. I was happy though it seemed to distract him from getting me to tell him what I did. "It's one of our songs on the newest album! Come on Lani tell me you've listened to the whole album?" it made sense now I'd obviously said something that was similar to his lyrics.

"Not all of it," I admitted, "Only because I've not had heaps of time but I promise I will and I already know I'll like it!" I giggled.

"It'll sound better tonight up on stage anyway," he winked and pulled me in close to him. As much as I loved the closeness it made me think about how it'd never work. But his kisses tasted so good and I wanted more and I think it was obvious he did too.

"Austin hurry up we have to get on stage!" Aaron yelled out the door forcing me and Austin away from each other. I couldn't believe we'd been outside talking for so long but we headed back in. As we walked in the door Tarni ran straight over to me and pulled me behind the crowd so we could talk in private. We trailed behind the boys on the way to the side of the stage. The boys ran on stage and my ears were pierced by the screams of hundreds of teenage girls.

"Where did you two go?" she yelled over the loud instrumental music.

"Calm down, we were just talking outside. I told him how I was on parole and how it wouldn't work out because I couldn't travel, he understood," she looked at me with sad eyes and I pouted back at her. "I know girl, imagine how cut up I am about it, I'd love to give it a shot," I sighed. Austin's voice filled the marquee.

"So I'm going to change up our usual set a bit tonight guys I hope you don't mind! I'm going to start off with a new song off our new record Restoring Force, which by the way all you fuckers should go buy!" the crowd roared, they adored him, "This one's called Would You Still Be There and it goes out to my friend Lani, I know you're listening!" he looked over to the side of the stage and smiled at me which caused butterflies to form in my stomach.

Tarni pushed at my arm, "Oh my god did you just hear that?" she squealed. I bit my lip hiding my excitement and nodded as I listened to Austin's beautiful voice fill the space around me.

Notes

A huge sorry for not updating over the past two days, being Easter it's been extremely hard to get spare time away from the family but I'm back with a new chapter now.