We're All Crooked Young

I honestly wasn't in the mood for his bullshit but I wasn't going to let him hit me without retaliation. He finally got close enough and he swung at me . I moved away quick enough to where his hand collided with the pale white wall. He gritted his teeth and landed a blow to my abdomen.




It caught me off guard and the breath was knock out of me but I lunged at him and pushed him hard against the wall and slammed my fist into his jaw. His once blue eyes were dark with anger and his tiny form grew this new found strength and he pushed me back hard .






I lost my balance and he straddled my hips and pulled back his fist but I flipped us over and straddled his hips and landed a quick hit to his chest . He punched me directly in the dick and I groaned in pain as we both hit eachother repeatedly before getting pulled off eachother.






It was all of Motionless in white. Chris held me back as Ryan held Ricky back. Devin was in the middle of us and he looked at us with a disappointment expression.





"What THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?! Do you not know that Arlet is literally Ten feet away trying to recover from Almost being trampled to death. While you two are acting like grade A , dicks. !" He yelled hissing lowly and we all stopped moving around and rested in their holds. Realization hit both of us and the guys must have noticed because they let us go .







I rested my back on the wall rubbing my now forming bruises that would soon show up on my ribs. That fucker can pack a punch. He leaned against the wall in front of me and rubbed his bruising jaw . I smirked at the bruise I did to him but soon snapped my attention back to Devin.








"Ricky... we need to end this. NOW . Both bands are utterly sick of all this shit. We're all in the middle of this little shit fest you guys have created. Now end this . Right here. Right NOW !" Devin barked and after a few moments of silence , Ricky's shoulders slumped in submission.






"None of this would have happened if Oliver wasn't a pill popping, fucked up druggie that treats girls like shit. ..." Ricky growled lowly and averted my glare. He doesn't know my fucking story , so he has no right to judge.




"Actually Horror .... I'm not a druggie and I DIDN'T cheat on Arlet. I told you that. .. You filled her head with lies .. now she hates me . You think I'm the only one with secrets and have things I regret?! I'm pretty sure your hands are just as dirty as mine you PissAnt. " I growled back and he met my glare. Before another fight could break out Devin intervened.


"That's in the past. It's OVER now .. What I want to know now is. .. why did you fight Oliver ? Don't give me some bullshit on a fancy plate either. I want the truth. " Devin scorned and Ricky glared at me before looking at his band and huffed loudly in annoyance.








"When OliDick left the room , .. Arry told me that she forgave him . That she may not want him back as a boyfriend but he could be a great friend. She said that she's been too close to death to have so many regrets. So she's giving him a cleam slate. What pisses me off is that this Fucker will just hurt her again. You guys all know how fragile she is ... She's fucking healing from two broken ribs and bruises all over her body for fuck's sake ! I don't trust him ... That's why I fought him . He needs to know that I'll never like him because of what he did to her. And I'll keep kicking his ass if he hurts her again .' He uttered angrily and my eyes went wide. So Arlet does want me back in her life. I smiled internally before frowning.







"Ricky .. I couldn't give a shit about your childish opinions about me . Arlet's opinion is the only one that counts. You may hate me but obviously she doesn't. You're going to have to deal with that. " I smirked before shrugging past them all and leaving to head to the bathroom.






I heard Devin tell them that it's over now and no one should bring it up again. He seemed all motherly but everyone accepted it and walked back to the room . When I finally got into the bathroom , I checked myself over.





Ricky didn't do much damage which I was thankful for. I leaned down and splashed some cold water on my face and I looked at myself in the mirror. I just realized that my lip was busted and bleeding. I quickly tucked it in my mouth with my teeth and started sucking the blood away. My phone vibrated and I quickly opened it thinking it was one of the guys .







-Hannah- ●you've been ignoring me again. You know what ? Fuck you ... honestly ,you haven't changed. You're still the same pathetic , talentless , unmanly guy as before. Bye . t(-_-t)-








I huffed loudly in annoyance and gripped the phone in my hand. I ran my hand roughly through my hair and I bit my tongue hard from screaming out in frustration. Instead I pulled my arm back and shot the phone directly into the glass mirror in front of me .







Glass shards covered the pale green tile floor around my feet and I bit my lip hard. Why must everything I do or love fuck me over ? Why did I let Hannah control me for so long that I get this frustrated? Why did I hurt the only person that mattered to me the most?! These thoughts screamed in my head and I ran out the bathroom and eventually out the hospital.







I didn't even realize that I was crying until the wind blew the already falling tears all over my face. The afternoon wind was somewhat comforting but I couldn't keep my mind off Arlet. I don't care if her and Ricky are together.








I still love her and I'll do everything to get her back . I noticed that I was absentmindedly walking around. I blinked my eyes hard to see myself near the busses. Did I really just walk that whole way? I thought internally impressing myself.









As I got on our bus , the guys were already dressed and ready for our show . They all gave me crazy looks and I bit my lip nervously.



"Before you ask me ... Let's just do the show first okay? " I pleaded and they all nodded in agreement. I noticed I was all sweaty and dirty and as the guys walked off the bus , I rushed into the bunks and slipped on some new shredded skinny jeans and black vans and a plain white v neck that had mostly all my arm tattoos im full view.







It felt weird without the drugs but I could handle it. I needed to stop telling Arlet what I'm going to do and actually start doing it. I walked off the bus and was met by the building crowd. I truly loved our fans .. each and every single one.






I even put one of them on instagram because she understood the actual meaning of our song 'Shadow Moses' . As I got backstage , we all talked about the band set list. The roaring chants of our band name filled the air and we all smiled in excitement.




"We're about to tear this place apart" Matt exclaimed excitedly and we all laughed. We all walked on stage one by one and lastly was me . I fiddled with my bracelets before looking up at the crowds. Another reason that I use the drugs is because my anxiety is out of control during shows.







But the drugs help me over come it .. but now it's just me and I breath in deep and take a deep gulp of a nearby water bottle. As the music starts I heard chants of my name as I rock back and forth along with the drums and I try to collect the courage that I usually get from the drugs. I look up too see all eyes on me.







I bit my lip nervously as the camera flashes go off from below and I give them all a soft smile. Which obviously makes about a thousand of fangirls scream out. I raised my mouth to the mic and spoke loudly. "We're bring me the horizon. And this is 'Hospital For Souls.' .. " I trailed off and the crowd went wild . As the music started to play , the crowd started to sing along. This song means a lot to me even to this day and now it means even more...







○○ Everybody wants to go to Heaven
But nobody wants to die
I can't fear death no longer
I've died a thousand times
Why explore the universe
When we don't know ourselves?
There's an emptiness inside our heads
That no one dares to dwell...○○

Notes

Guys ... I wrote my suicide note. What really scares me is that I'm so ready to leave but I wont give up that easily. I'll stay for the people I love and for the people that care. I wrote my note to show myself that if I ever gave up that at least people will know why I did it . You guys are all amazing. . NEVER let anyone take that away from you .

-NEVER LET LIFE KILL YOUR SPARK ♡♡♡ ..

How are you guys enjoying the story ??


-CrookedYoung ♡♥♡♥