We're All Crooked Young

It's been a week since we've been back in the states still touring. I've taken extreme measures to avoid Oliver. He's a old wound that's not fully healed. What hurts is that I'll never forget him. He was my first. Now I'm living on Motionless in white bus and I've been getting closer to all the guys.





Ryan and Balz are known as the 'terror twins' because they loved to play pranks on everyone on the bus. They told me that they actually shaved off half Chris' head while he was sleep and he ended up liking it and wearing it.




Also , me and Devin have been like best friends. He's so calm and sweet and quiet. Just like me , but I've learned that he has a dirty side that comes out during jokes. Dating Ricky is like a dream. He's nothing like Oliver. He's not jealous or gets angry or obsessive. He's sweet and gentle and goofy like he's always been.







I've learned that he's calmer when he smokes or reads a book and I'm okay with that. My father smoked and it never bothered me. Right now we're all on the couch watching 'The Fault In Our Stars' and the guys were complaining threw the whole movie as the credits rolled.




"For fuck's sake. How do you chicks watch this sappy shit ? " Ryan groaned loudly and we all laughed. I leaned up from Ricky's lap and flicked him off. "Suck ass Ry. Chicks LOVE these movies. " I growled playfully and he chuckled.




"Whatever . Just make sure you pluck my eyes out BEFORE you press play on another chick flick. !" He exclaimed laughing and I laid back in Ricky's hold. We were on our way to the next venue which was about six hours away.






Balz was currently driving and next was Ricky's turn since they all took turns driving to the shows. I looked up to see him reading a book. He was cuddling and reading . Such a multitasker. I moved the book away and he looked at me confused.






"I love you " I whispered and he smiled wide before leaning down and kissing me softly. That's another thing. Oliver's kisses were always so passionate and rushed. Whereas Ricky , his kisses were soft and sweet and slow. Almost as if he wanted to savor the kiss. "Ew guys ! Take that shit elsewhere or I'm gonna puke !" Chris whined making everyone laugh.







"Hey , at least they're not fucking !" Ryan shouted from the kitchen and my face grew hot. I haven't even thought about sex with him. Does he want sex ?? Are we ready for that?? I thought internally before Ricky shook my shoulders lightly. I blinked hard and looked at him.







"Babe. Are you okay? ? You kinda spaced out a bit. " he questioned sounding concerned as he tongued his lip piercing. He does it regularly but fuck is it hot. I shake my head and slid up and off the couch.




I head into the kitchen and the light breeze from the walk blows past my jeans shorts and Slipknot tank. I've been wearing all of Ricky's clothes and some of mine because they feel so comfortable. I've been taking my meds and eating twice a day. Sometimes three times.. all the guys know about my disorder and they all try to help which I find incredibly sweet.






I reach into the fridge and pull out a vitamin water and a fruit salad. Since its only the afternoon , I decided I should take my meds and meal now. I grabbed my pills off the counter and take four different pills. I shake them around in my hand and look at the food as well.





Slowly but surely that little voice whispers in my mind and I bite my lip nervously. I was about to put the pills back when I felt a hand om my shoulder. I turned around to see Ryan giving me a encouraging smile and he handed me the drink.





I gave him a soft smile before downing the pills with the water. He hugged me and soon I was engulfed in a huge band group hug with me in the middle.



"Uhrghh guys. Cant. Breathe. !" I screamed and they all laughed before pulling away. The bus came to a halt and we all looked out the window. We were far from the venue but we were at a gas station . Balz came out and yawned loudly.



"It's your turn Rick Dick. I'm tired as fuck. See you guys in six hours. " he confessed sounding sleepy as he walked past us and disappeared into the bunks.



"I'm hungry as fuck. Arl , can you come with me to get smokes and snacks?" Ryan questioned and I nodded. I got out of Ricky's lap and followed him out. I just noticed that BMTH was getting off the bus as well. I didn't see Oliver and I breathed a sigh of relief.







"Oi , Arlet !" Matt N exclaimed as he pulled me into a tight hug. Just because I'm not with Oli anymore , doesn't mean I'm not still friends with the rest of them. "Hey ! " I exclaimed laughing and we all walked into the store. I still kept a look out for Oliver as Ryan bought his cigarettes and snacks.





Ryan approached me with a handful of snacks and chips and three cans of rock star. "Well. Someone's hungry !" I exclaimed laughing and he chuckled. I know Ricky loves Rockstar so I grabbed one out his grasp and he whined childishly. "You so owe me !" He exclaimed as he paid for his stuff. I bought the drink and I smiled at him .




"Well I'll make sure to thank my blue eyed babe for you. !" I exclaimed and I heard a loud huff. I turned around to see Oliver staring at us. Ryan looked between us nervously before walking near the exit .




"Uh.. I'll see you on the bus Arl." He mumbled Averting my gaze as he left. I sucked in a sharp breath as he gazed over me. I shifted uncomfortably and he finally spoke.


"Can we talk outside. .. ? Alone.?" He questioned looking around and I hesitantly nodded. I followed him out through the back and I rested my back on the cold hard stone wall. All I could feel towards him was hate.






I didn't feel sadness or remorse. Just betrayal and hatred. The wind brushed against us and his shorts and 'Burn Shit' tank flowed over his skin.



"Look Arlet.. im sorry ? What I've been doing and what I've done wasn't right. I fucking need you back please. I-" he pleaded guilt laced in his voice before his phone rang. He had a specific ringtone and I huffed in annoyance at the sound.





"it's Hannah ! It's Hannah !" It screamed in a high pitch tone. He quickly shut it off and I growled at him as he inched closer to me. "Shouldn't you be with your whore somewhere?? Since I'm not good enough for you.. " I mumbled Averting his gaze. His eyes grew wide and before I could register myself, he pinned me against the wall.




His eyes bore into mine. "You're one to talk... you LEFT me ! You promised you wouldn't. .. -" he rambled and I cut him off. "YOU FUCKING CHEATED YOU PRICK. !" My heart was pounding in my chest as anger surged through my body. He let go of me and I pushed him harshly against the wall.





"Do you know what you did to me ?! You fucking broke me , you egotistical prick ! I trusted you ! I gave you my broken heart ! How could you do that to me ?! You were my first. .... I ... you were my first love. " I mumbled and I felt hot tears pass my cheeks and I bit my lip hard. I felt his embrace around me and I pushed him away.









"I knew I'd do this. ... I knew I'd break your heart. I knew I was too crooked.... " he trailed off holding his head in his hands. I inched closer to him and grabbed his face and made him look down at me. The emotional wound was bleeding and open and I felt all the serring pain again.







"I loved you... but you were never too crooked for me ... you were just too deep in your own demons to help yourself to enjoy a healthy relationship. We're never getting back together. .. I'm with Ricky now. He's my safety net and you were just a storm waiting to happen. " I whispered and hot tears fan down his face. I know he regretted what he did but I can't trust him.








I went to walk away when I felt him tug on my arm and I stopped my movements. "I STILL love you... leave ricky. . Come back to me. I promise I'll stop the drugs and I'll leave Hannah. . Just come back to me BerryArry. " he begged wiping away tears and I looked at his broken form. I was just like that but I learned that I deserved better. I shrugged out his grip and turned my back to him heading for the exit.











"You've said this all before. Good bye Oliver. I truly wish you the best.. " I whispered before walking away. I walked on the bus to be engulfed in a tight hug by a very worried looking Ricky.







"Arry . Are you okay ?! Ry said Oliver was talking to you?!" He exclaimed worriedly and I hugged him tight before pulling away. "I'm fine. .. we just talked . I brought you a Rockstar. ." I cooed sweetly and he smiled before kissing me passionately. We pulled away and he guided us to the driver's side and I sat in his lap as he started the bus and started to drink on his drink.







As we drove further amd further away from that gas station I couldn't help but think that I didn't just leave Oliver at that gas station by himself. .. I also left my love for him as well.

Notes

Give me feedback guys. I'm getting so many views and subs. ! You guys are so amazing. Thanks for the comments and sweet words. I hope you guys enjoy this update. ♡♡♡♡ I have so much in store for this story !!




-CrookedYoung♡♥♡♥