We're All Crooked Young

I turned all the way around to see him all cleaned up but he looked nervous. "What tour is he talking about?" I questioned and he bit his lip nervously. "Well... uhm... we're kinda going on tour for six months. " he confessed and I felt my heart drop. /Six months without Oliver?\ I thought internally before frowning. "W-Why didn't you tell me ?" I questioned slightly sad and he rushed up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I wanted the time to be perfect.... I was going to tell you tomorrow on our surprise date that I planned. But since you know now I-" he rambled before I silenced him with a hand in the air. "You're leaving me for Six months and you expected me to be happy?" I questioned slightly annoyed and he frowned. "Love , of course I'm not leaving you ! I'd never do that ! You're coming with me .." he cooed cheerfully and I smiled wide before frowning again. "Wait Oli ... I can't . I'm going to be modeling soon. I can't-" I rambled before he silenced me with his finger to my lips. "Love , you're NOT going back. You can model for my agency. In the modeling department ... they are making you practically kill yourself to be their image of perfection. Fuck them !" He yelled with a stern face and I smiled at his Little speech. "How will I make money ?? I'm NOT going to depend on your money Oli , I won't allow it . " I uttered too proudly. He gripped my hips a little and I met his gaze. "I have more than enough money to support us both. I need you ... Arlet. You don't ever need to work again but you can if you want. I'll never stop you from doing something you love . " he cooed sweetly and I blushed lightly before leaning towards him and pressing my lips against his.
It was soft and sweet like the others. I knew then that I couldn't be without Oliver. Hannah was stupid for treating him so badly. He's perfect and honest and loving. I pulled my thoughts from that bitch and I focused on the sweet kiss .
We pulled away and he guided us to the hus , and pulled us down on the couch . I sat on his lap as the other guys all piled on the rest of the cherry red leather couch.
Lee yelled at the bus driver saying we were ready. Everyone settled in as Jordan slipped on the bus and closed and locked the door behind him. The interior was almost like a mobile home just way nicer. Black and cherry red cabinets and furniture. The fridge had a wood exterior to it and I giggled thinking about something funny. I cuddled into his body as we watched 'Frozen' on the flat screen. I absentmindedly played with his tattooed fingers as they laced in mine and I traced over his 'Tom' tattoo with my thumb.
I loved all his tattoos , I didn't tell him but I think I knew that he self harmed all along. Being Ricky's best friend for so long I kinda got used to checking people's arms.
Even with the tattoos I could see the dozens of silver lines cascaded over his wrists and forearms . I laid my head back on his shoulder and enjoyed the ice queen sing 'let it go' .
I started to sing along to the catchy tune and I saw lee giggling. "Enjoying the children movie , yeah? " He teased laughing and I gave him a death glare. "Shut it lee ! At least I don't sleep with a teddy bear named 'Captain Britty' ." I cooed evilly smirking and he gasped in shock. "OLI ! YOU SWORE YOU'D NEVER TELL ANYONE !" He exclaimed angrily but more embarrassed . Everyone laughed as Oliver threw his hands up in surrender. "I have NO idea how she found out , Mate !" He exclaimed sarcastically and he tightened his grip around my waist. Lee flicked him off as everyone laughed. The guys all started talking about random things when the bus came to a roaring stop. We jerked forward a bit causing us to grip the couch. "Well then I guess we're at the venue !" Jordan exclaimed as he looked out the window. I quickly slid off his lap as all the guys grabbed their instruments and as they walked off I felt a familiar tattooed arm slide around my waist and guide me outside as well. "Ahhh ... It's so hot ! Why can't I stay in the bus?" I whined like a child as we walked closer to back stage. He chuckled lightly as he gripped me closer to his body. The strong scent of cologne hit me and I smiled in delight. "You smell good " I whispered and he blushed. "You taste good...." he mumbled Averting my gaze and I quickly shot him a playful glare as we walked into the backstage room . "Oli!" I screamed shocked and he grinned wide. We saw all the guys just sitting around waiting on the intercom. "Hey Arlet .. Can I talk to you a second?" Jordan questioned and I gave him a nod before slipping out his grasp. I could feel his eyes on me but I kept walking. Jordan pulled me to the side away from everyone else and I looked at him confused and waiting. "So what's up Jordan?" I questioned slightly scared. He gave me a soft smile before looking behind him and speaking. "Has anything been different about Oliver? " He questioned sounding concerned and I thought about it then shook my head. "I mean. .. the whole fight with Matt kinda scared me then the whole Hannah thing. ..." I trailed off slightly sad that I had to talk about this. His bright eyes grew wide and he bit his lip nervously. "Why was he with her ?, did he try anything??" He questioned quickly and I shook my head frantically. "Of course not ! Jordan. . I'M his girlfriend. .. I was right there. And why are you so worried?" I questioned slightly annoyed and he bit his lip nervously. I could see Oliver inching toward us and Jordan noticed too and quit talking and walked away. "What was that about?" He questioned sounding concerned and I nodded it off. "I don't know really. .. maybe he'll tell me after the show. " I mumbled and before he could speak, the intercom boomed and we all looked at eachother then grabbed our stuff heading for the stage. I started to get really bad cramps .. which is common due to my ED.
I tried to hide the pain in my face but as usual Oliver saw it and immediately became worried. Every time he looked at me .. I thought his eyes would swallow me . Why were they so big ?? Did it have something to do with what Jordan said?
No , He'd never be on drugs.... right?
I kept thinking these thoughts as the guys started walking on stage. I was pulled out my thoughts by a pair of strong tattooed arms wrapped up around my waist and a soft kiss to my lips . I smiled wide before locking my arms around his neck and tangled my fingers in his hair inhaling deeply his lovely scent as our tongues wrestled. "Fuck... I love you so much" he cooed sweetly pulling away from the kiss and I blushed. I'll never get tired of him saying it , I traced over his rose tattoo with my finger and then his cheekbone. "I love you so much baby. .. forever and always" I whispered and I quickly pecked his lips before he ran out on stage. I stood on stage but it was far back with everyone else.
The roaring crowd and thousands of Fans were screaming the band's name. Screams and shouting filled the windy air and I looked over the crowd. Signs and balloons and water guns were everywhere and I could see everyone going crazy as all the band approach on stage.
Oliver looked Back and smiled at me , he stood on the edge of the stage and smiled wide at the crowd. "We're going to play this one song.. Let's see who knows it ! .. I wanna hear you , New York!!" Oliver exclaimed in the mic and the crowd roared loudly. As soon as the song started , I started to hum along. Oliver walked to a speaker and took a large gulp of water and he started rocking back and forth with his head down .
Matt N was fidgeting with his drum sticks and licked his lips nervously. Jona flipped his hair and stretched as he started to get ready to play. Lee and Jordan were both smiling at the fans and then that's when Oliver's melodic voice flooded threw the speakers and into the thick air.


○○ Can you tell from the look in our eyes?
(we're going nowhere)
We live our lives like we're ready to die
(we're going nowhere)
I thought I buried you and covered the tracks
You'll have to take this with your cold dead hands
I thought I buried you
What's dead can never die
I thought I'd cut you loose, severed the feeling
I slipped through the cracks and you caved in my ceiling
I thought I buried you
What's dead can never die●●

The crowd sung along loudly with every word as did I . All the guys were putting their everything into the performance and I loved that. They all looked like they loved what they do , especially Oliver. I watched as they all head banged and jumped up and down on stage.
I watched how Oliver screamed some of the parts and every time the fans would scream with him he'd get this huge smile on his face. As the day went they played. 'Antivist , Diamonds aren't forever, Chelsea Smile , Can you feel my heart?, Sleepwalking, House of wolves , Empire(let them sing), & Go to hell for heaven's sake' . The crowd, band and me all sung along to every song , I've come to love this music and my favorite was Shadow Moses so far. As Oliver thanked the crowd they all rushed off stage .
Oliver ran up to me and picked me up and kissed me passionately holding me in the air. All the guys made cat calls but I didn't care. He kissed me like I'd die the next second and my heart fluttered. He put me down with us both smiling wide. "You did amazing!! The crowd loved you guys .." I exclaimed and they all smiled wide in acceptance. I looked back at Oli who still had his gaze on me .. "I'm so lucky to have you. .."he purred looking deep into my eyes and I blushed red. We walked down the stage and saw the merch tent ... I feel like I was forgetting something and then it hit me. I forgot to take my meds ... I really didn't want to have an anxiety attack out here. Before we completely walked over there I tugged on his wrist. "I need to take my meds. .. be back in a few... " I rambled apologetically and he gave me a worried look before intertwining our fingers. "I'll go with you ,love." He offered which I declined quickly. "You need to go see your fans. I know they want to meet their hero.. It's fine ... I'll be back in a couple minutes I promise. " I reassured him and he gave a soft smile before pulling me into another lovingly kiss .
I melted into his hold and I rubbed my fingers over the back of his neck. "O-Okay. .. but please hurry ." He whimpered pouting his pink lip. I giggled slightly before leaning up and kissing it away. He darted off toward the tent while I quickly walked over to the bus to get my meds out Oliver's bag.
When I reached the bus I saw two girls. They looked about my age but they had pounds of makeup on and their shorts were basically underwear due to their ass cheeks hanging out.
Their flat, toned stomachs looked great with thier crop top shirts and colorful sneakers. They both had bone pale skin , dark makeup and piercing green eyes .
One had completely straightened hair whereas the other had curled hair. They didn't look like sluts... they looked like goddesses. I bit my lip nervously as I quickly tried to avoid them and opened the bus door only for it to be locked.
I quickly tried to slip my key out my back pocket but it was too late. They had already saw me. "Hey ! " One girl exclaimed walking up to me. Her curled hair flowing in the wind all majestically. I swallowed the lump in throat and slowly turned around. From up close she looked mean but the other looked worse. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Curly one questioned sounding pissed and I bit my lip nervously. "Well uh... well I umm.. -" I rambled before she silenced me with her hand in the air. They started to close in and my back pressed against the cold metal bus. "Don't fucking stutter. I hate bitches who stutter. Why are you trying to get in the bus ? You obviously don't look good enough to be with ANY of the band members. . And you're definitely NOT the merch girl so why are you trying to get in the bus ? Let me guess ... You're one of those depressed little cunts that want to tell them they 'saved your life' or some shit?!" She spat then laughed darkly.
Her words cut me deep.... they cut me like they did in high school and middle school when I got bullied.
They were so close that I could smell their perfume and my body started to shake. No .. no .. not now. ! I couldn't do this now.. "Aww look Skylar... She's shaking like a dog !" Straight hair teased and I couldn't even defend myself. "G-Get A-Away F-From M-Me. !" I stuttered out , my chest felt tight and I couldn't breathe. . They just stood their laughing. "I'm so glad that MY oliver didn't see this freak ! He'd probably get grossed out and now even want to have a good time with me !" Curly hair purred seductively biting her lip and I could feel my heart beating fast in my chest and the taste of breakfast was dying to come back up.. "H-He's not .. Y-Yours !" I screamed stuttered frantically and I brung my hand up in front of my face and it was shaking bad. I finally managed to get the key out and I quickly slid in the door and locked them out.
They started banging loudly on the door calling me names and the panic attack only got worse. I curled up in a ball on the floor and tried to do breathing exercises but the girl's screaming and banging was making things worse.
Suddenly every bad name... Every insult I've ever gotten replayed in my mind. I rocked back and forth crying hard and slowly the panic attack went away... but the voices came back.
I slowly got up from the floor and looked for Oliver's black duffle bag. I leaned over on the couch running my hand threw my now messed up hair and sniffling.
I looked into his bag and pulled out my anti depressants and anxiety meds. I put two of both in one hand and I scanned over them. /You don't need these !\
/you're pathetic to think that these will help\
/remember all calories you swallowed this morning?? Time for them to come back up\

/She's right .. You DONT deserve Oliver. . You're not beautiful or curvy or a goddess like she is ... You're a simple plain virgin that's fucked up !\
/you should have died when you had that heart attack you whore!\ It screamed internally and I pulled at my hair and sobbed more. I put the pills back into their bottles and I rushed to the bathroom. I tied my hair into a messy bun with strands falling everywhere and I got on my knees and leaned over the toilet , that's become my second home.

I slicked my fingers with water from the sink and shoved them down my throat. My throat started to burn and tighten but soon the breakfast came up along with my little restraint. I flushed the toilet and cleaned my face with warm water and soap and I popped in some mint gum.

The banging and screaming had stopped but my depression soon took over. I could see all my flaws again in the mirror and I bit back tears. I laid in a bunk that I think was Oliver's due to all the drop dead stuff in it.

I slipped off my shoes and cradled myself under the thick covers that smelled like his cologne , the voices were mere whispers in my head but they were sinister and heart breaking.

I don't deserve Oliver. .. He's perfect and honest and healthy. .. I'm the exact opposite. As I laid in bed self loathing I kept repeating my saying that my depression tells me will never come true.




"I'll be pretty ... I'll be perfect. .... I'll be petite "

Notes

I hope you guys like this update. ..

What do you think about Jordan asking questions about Oliver's encounter with Hannah??

How do you feel about Oliver's 'addiction'?

Stay tuned for more ♡♡♡

-CrookedYoung♥♡♥