We're All Crooked Young

After I got out the shower I slipped on a black lace bra and thong and I brushed my teeth and hair before walking out into the room letting the warm fog flood into my cold room . I walked up to Cassandra's beat pill and plugged in my phone letting Bring me the horizon album 'Sempiternal' blared through the speakers.
The song 'crooked young' came on and I started dancing around the room as I danced over to the closet.
I didn't want to over dress since I was just meeting Oliver's band. I slipped on some of Cassandra's shredded skinny jeans and a black tight fitted crop top that clung to my frame . My boobs looked fuller but normal .
I'm glad we had the same shoe size even though her feet are thinner than mine. Hell she's thinner in every way. As I slipped on the black toms I looked over in the mirror. .. I shouldn't have ever looked.
My self conscious depression came back. I started to tear myself apart and every flaw came into view. My nose was huge , my belly fat was poking out the space where the pants started and the shirt ended. My thighs looked huge in the skinny jeans. I could see that I had slight bags.
I dropped to the floor and started crying. .. I did the only thing that came to mind. I stripped off my clothes and walked into the bathroom. I got on my knees in front of the toilet and stuck my fingers down my throat.
I didn't feel anything come up so I kept trying. My throat started to burn and tighten and I could feel the stomach acid pour into the toilet along with blood. Tears passed my cheeks as I kept going until I started to feel light headed.
"ARLET?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!" Austin exclaimed rushing up to me. I cringed and curled up into a ball beside the toilet. He tried to touch me but I flinched away. "Arlet .. let me help you . " he whispered holding out a outstretched hand.
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and I noticed I was bleeding heavily from my nose. It was running over my mouth on my chest.
He looked shocked and I tried to wipe it up but the blood kept flowing. "I'm sorry. ." I whispered and he looked at me shocked. He slid his arms under my legs and back and picked me up bridal style and sat me on the bathroom counter.
I noticed that he had a huge scar in the middle of his chest and I lightly traced it with my finger as he pulled out the first aid kit. "Don't be sorry .. just next time talk to me okay? Does Oliver know you did this. Do you have nose bleeds often?" He questioned sounding concerned and I felt my heart beat race .
/What if Oliver dumped me , if I told him??\ I thought internally before frowning.
"He doesn't know . And I only have nose bleeds when I go to far " I whispered hanging my head low and he lifted my head up by my chin as he slowly started to clean up my bloody mess with a drenched soft cotton ball.
As he did that I traced over his huge scar and he stopped and looked at me . "What happened ?" I questioned and he gave a soft smile before continuing to clean me up. "Heart surgery. .. Long story short. I was near death but the surgery was my only hope of surviving and having a healthy life. I didn't think I'd make it out of surgery but I had to believe that I would because I needed to believe that there was a light at the end of my dark life of a tunnel." He uttered slight pain in his voice.
As he finished he gave a soft smile and I pulled him into a tight hug. He smelled of Axe and bacon and I smiled softly. He pulled away and looked at me with hope in his eyes.
"There's a light at the end of this tunnel Arlet, you just have to believe that one day you'll find it. "He whispered before kissing my forehead and helping me off the counter.
"Come on , go get dressed and we can watch Family guy until Oliver gets here. " he exclaimed sweetly and I smiled as he left the bathroom then room . I picked the clothes back up and slipped them back on and brushed my teeth again and didn't look in the mirror this time.
I turned the song on to 'Hospital for Souls' and I could feel Oliver's speech touch my soul as I put on deodorant and perfume and pulled my hair into a messy bun. I wiped away my tears and applied nude lipstick and as I picked my phone out of the beats pill I saw that I was getting a Face time call from Chris.
I didn't know if I should be mad at him or not. He told Oliver about my disorder and he almost Fought Oliver. But he's my best friend and he was just trying to be just that.
I answered his call and saw that ricky was right beside him. I sat down and angled the camera so they'd see my face neck and half of my shirt.
They both looked worried and I felt my heart sink. "Arry , are you okay ? I'm such a asshole. I shouldn't have told Oliver that I'm so sorry" Chris pleaded guilt laced in his voice.
I nodded back and forth and bit back tears.
/I'm so fucking emotional and weak\ the voices whispered to me and felt my throat tighten.
"It's okay Chrissypoo. I forgive you both. . Just next time. .. Don't try and be a dad figure okay? There was stuff you said that I wanted to tell him on my own . I love you guys but .. I'm not 14 anymore. I can somewhat protect myself. " I whispered and they both nodded. "Can we please hang out today? " I nodded and Ricky took the phone from him and bit down on his lip piercing nervously. "How about 5?" He questioned sounding concerned and I gave a soft smile and they both smiled.
I heard Austin call my name from down stairs and we all said our goodbyes before hanging up. I walked down stairs to see Austin in the kitchen with a bowl of grapes in his hand.
I looked at the food nervously then I looked at him. "For me ... " I questioned Averting His gaze and he nodded. I slowly walked up to him and picked up one little purple grape.
My brain started thinking about how many calories was in one grape as I swirled in in my finger. I placed it in my mouth and chewed slowly. I could already feel my body begin to reject it and my heart started to quicken and pound against my chest. I looked up at Austin who gave me a pleading gaze and a soft smile. I ate 6 more and lightly pushed away the bowl .
He pulled me in for a hug and I wrapped my arms around his neck and we stayed there for awhile until there's a knock at the door . I walked over and opened to be greeted by a dashing looking Oliver. He was wearing plain skinny jeans with a bone colored button up collar shirt with the sleeves rolled up showing off his amazingly colorful tattoos.
He looked up at me with those mesmerizing golden green eyes and his half smile almost made my knees go weak. He slipped a arm around my Waist and pulled me into a passionate kiss.
We pulled away for much needed air and I blushed hard. I saw Austin give me a 'tell him' look and I frowned a little and gave him a 'not now' gaze and I looked back at Oliver.
"Ready to go ,love?" He questioned sounding excited and I smiled wide and nodded. As we walked out the heat slapped against my skin and I breathed loudly and walked with oliver to his car. As we got in he started playing 'Five finger death punch - Battle Born' blared through the speakers and filled the air.
He hummed along in tune with the music and tapped his tattooed index finger on the steering wheel as we drove. As we drove he intertwined our fingers and kissed my thumb making me blush. "You're so beautiful when you blush " he cooed sweetly making me blush more.
"Thanks Oli " I cooed making him smirk. The closer we got there the more nervous I got. /What if Matt still hates me ?? \ I thought internally as we finally pulled up at this huge beach house. I gulped nervously as he helped me out the car and before we walked up to the door.
He pushed me up against the car and kissed me hungrily and passionately. His tongue exploring my mouth and his hands squeezed my hips and he pushed our hips together making me moan.
I could feel him smirk and he tugged on my lip making my breath hitched in my throat and I tugged on his hair. He pulled away and if he wasn't holding me I'd have surely fallen.
My face was flushed and he gave that heart melting half smile. "You'll be great , love" he cooed sweetly as he intertwined our fingers and led me to the door .
He knocked loudly and Mr . cheekbones opened the door. "Oi, Jordan!" Oli exclaimed and they fist bumped before Jordan opened the door more so we could walk through.
Oliver sat me down on the couch that was facing all the musical instruments. I felt eyes on me and I swallowed the lump in my throat and I looked around. Suddenly a short guy with tattoos and dirty blonde hair covering most of his face approached me and sat beside me.
He gave me a soft smile and I gave one back. "I'm Lee , These other wankers are Matt , Matt N , And that's Jordan" he cooed laughing pointing out everyone. I nervously waved to all of them but Matt K glared at me.
I looked down at my feet and bit my lip nervously. "Let's start!" Jordan exclaimed and everyone walked up to their instruments and Oliver gave me a loving look as he walked up to the Mic and held it in his hand.
Matt N started playing the drums as Jordan played along and I instantly Recognized the song. As oliver started to sing I felt mesmerized by his voice as his golden greeb eyed gaze stayed on me as he sung.
○○I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.
Can you feel my heart?
Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel...
can you feel my heart?●●

Notes

I was going to update tomorrow but I felt inspired. .. the reason this eating disorder part of arlet comes so easy for me , is because I have one. If anyone out there needs someone to talk to I'm here. We can help fix eachother. ♡ I love you all so much. The feedback you give me really makes my day. My day started off kinda crappy but seeing all these comments really makes my day.

@Manson Nightmare , you're amazing. Thanks for being supportive of my story. Also I love your story.
Everyone should go check out her (Dom/Fertile) story ♡♡


-CrookedYoung♡