Fight Back

Date: 6th February 2015. Weight: 6st 10lbs. Stage: Four. Estimated time of survival: One month.

My back flopped against the grass and I sighed. I closed my eyes and let the sun warm my skin. Or I tried to. I seemed to be freezing. I know it's February but that's no excuse. The weather in San Diego is always glorious. I have no excuse for my cold-ness.
Mike reappeared and smiled gently at me as he sat back down. He took his jacket and draped it around my shoulders. I nodded in thanks and he sighed. "Is that better?" Mike asked.
"Yeah, thanks. I should bring my own. Have a 'I'm dying' pack."
"Not funny." Mike scolded.
"Lighten up." I nudged him.
"Sorry." he replied, smiling down at me. I took his hand and he squeezed mine lightly. This is what friends do, right? I didn't care.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"We're going into our free period now."
"Maybe we shouldn't have skipped." I thought.
"I don't care." he laughed.
"I have to go see Phil now." I admitted.
"Okay, come on." Mike said tiredly. He stood up and held his hand out to help me up. I took it and he pulled me to my feet. I went to straighten up but I had to stop. I couldn't straighten up. I felt a twinge deep in my chest. My heart was beating way too fast and I couldn't breathe. I gripped Mike's shoulders and he held me as I gasped for air. "Pippa." he muttered. "Pippa?!" he asked again. I knew he was panicking but I couldn't reassure him. I couldn't move. I stayed like that for a few minutes until I could breathe again. I breathe through the twinges in my heart and was able to stand up properly again. "You okay?" Mike asked urgently.
"Yeah," I shrugged. "Should be expecting it. It was on the list." I admitted grimly.
We started walking to the school and Mike held the doors open for me. I stopped in front of the nurses room. Mike looked down at his feet for a minute before he pulled me in for a hug. I hugged him back gently and we pulled away. "After wait by my car. I'll drive you home." Mike told me.
"Okay." I nodded.
Mike walked back out of the school and I pushed the door to the nurses room open. I went to Phil's room and saw he was sat on the examination bed flicking through some files. I sat down next to him and he looked up. I saw Phil smile sheepishly and I rolled my eyes.
"How you feeling?" Phil asked lightly.
"Just thought I was having a heart attack, but other than that I'm fine."
"What happened?" he asked quickly.
"My heart got fast and I couldn't breathe."
"Palpitations." Phil said to himself and wrote it down.
"Is it getting bad? I know I don't have long. But does this mean it's going to stop me from being at school?" I asked anxiously. Phil got to his feet and went to get a few things to start my check up. I heard him exhale deeply and he strapped the blood pressure cuff around my arm.
"You're not the only case I've ever had Pippa. You know that. I've watched kids like you ever since I started training. But you know what? I've never seen one be this strong for this long."
"I'm strong." I muttered, confused.
"Yeah," he laughed. "They all leave school when they reach the three month mark at least. You're in stage four Infirma... You should be in hospice care right now. The books and all the other cases I have tell me that right now you shouldn't be able to walk for extended periods alone. But you are. You have four weeks, I'd expect you needing me every second of every minute of every day. Helena Pippa Jasper, you're strong and you're a complete mystery." Phil explained.
"But I still have four weeks. Whether I'm strong or not." I sighed.
"Unfortunately." he muttered.
Phil went about doing my check up. My height, weight, oxygen levels, temperature. Everything accept my bloods. I guess they weren't a requirement anymore. I slumped back on the bed and Phil put his things away. He sat next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
"I haven't seen this before." he commented, messing with the zip on the jacket Mike had lent me.
"It's not mine. I was cold so Mike gave me his." I explained.
"Oh," he said simply. "Look Pippa, I'm really sorry about what I did. I had no right. It was your choice to tell him. I shouldn't have taken that away from you. I hope things didn't mess out to badly for you."
"They did." I said.
"What happened?"
"He flipped out. Didn't want to be my boyfriend. Then he said he wanted to be friends. Which isn't easy for me, I don't do friends. I don't have friends."
"I'm really sorry."
"I know, but it's okay. Just stop grovelling." I told him.
"Really?"
"Okay maybe a little more grovelling. Just for a minute." I teased.
"Please forgive me!" he exclaimed playfully. "Was that good enough?"
"Yeah," I laughed. "You're forgiven now. It's not like I have long enough left to hold any grudges."
"Don't talk like that please."
"You sound like Mike." I groaned.
"I haven't accepted what's happening to you. I don't want to think about this time next month..."
"I haven't accepted it either."
"You're joking about it."
"It's called pretending." I tried to smile. Don't fucking cry. I rubbed my eyes and sighed. Phil squeezed me and I hugged him tight to me.
"Do you think you need to go home?"
"No." I shook my head.
"Please?" he tried.
"No." I shook my head again, making him smile.
"You should tell everyone else. Like Hope."
"I can't." I murmured.
"You know how much you mean to me. I hope."
"I do." I nodded against him. "You're making me sad." I laughed sadly.
"I thought you were already sad." Phil countered.
"I was. But now you're making it obvious that I'm sad."
"Sorry to blow your charade." he nudged me.
"That's okay." I sighed. "I should go, right?"
"You should," he agreed. "Do you want a ride home?"
"No thanks, Mike is taking me today." I said and he nodded in understanding. I hugged Phil and he planted a quick kiss on the top of my head.
I got to my feet and felt him watching me as I walked out. I went through the nurses room and into the corridor. As I walked I looked at my feet. I looked up when I was in the parking lot and found Mike's car. He opened the door for me and I got inside. I dumped my bag in the back seat and leant against the seat before I started to stare pensively out of the window.
"What's wrong?" Mike asked me as he drove.
"I thought you didn't want to get involved that deeply." I said tightly. At first I thought he'd missed it because he didn't reply. But then I saw his face and knew that he heard. 


Notes

Hey! I'm back! What did you think? Let me know! What about how Helena is being with Mike? Will they stay friends? Will she tell Hope?