Fight Back

Date: 6th September 2014. Weight: 8st 10lbs. Stage: Three. Estimated time of survival: Three years.

I used to love home; it was a safe haven where I could enjoy myself and be myself. I would run home from school to just be . . . home. Now it was just a house. Before I was diagnosed I remember feeling sad about leaving Mom, Dad, Alex and Sasha just to go to school. But now I hated being here, it was like being trapped in a cage. It wasn't so much the house, more the people inside it. Every day I was able to finally escape Dad and Evelyn.
My bag was in the corner of my room. “Helena! We need to go!” I heard Dad shout from downstairs. I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder.
In a form of greeting Dad looked over me. “You look a state.” he told me and snatched my school bag away.
“Thanks Dad.” I mocked.
“What do you look like?!” Evelyn exclaimed when she saw me.
“What's wrong with me?” I smirked. I'd tried to change myself this year. I'd spent my birthday money buying vintage dresses and tie-dye tops. People at my school all dressed the same, apart from the rocker kids. But I didn't want to blend in with the rocker kids. Being a hippy would stand out. Then there were the awful blonde dreadlocks and the thick black pencil liner under my hazel eyes. But it was more than that; I didn't want to be unnoticed any more.
“Go and change, you look like no one owns you.” Dad said.
“I thought we have to go?” I asked lightly.
“We do!” Evelyn called from outside. "We'll be late for your first day!"
“Let's go.” I said and heard Dad sigh in defeat. I jogged out to the car and ruffled my hair.
“You look stupid." Sasha told me.
“So do you.” I replied and stuck my tongue out.
“You look like a panda." she grinned as the car drove out.
“Still better looking than you." I joked and poked her in the side.
“Shut up.” she laughed and tickled me in the ribs. I laughed loudly and tried to edge away from her. My head hit the window and I winced.
“Will you grow up, Helena!" Dad called from the front.
“Sorry.” I rolled my eyes and brought my hand up to my head, I had a feeling I'd bruise.
We didn't say anything for a while, there wasn't much to say. Every year I think what if I never have a first day of school again? I haven't been given a death date, all I know is that it could happen any time, even if I was promised three years by Phil.
“Will you still have Philip as your specialist nurse this year?” Evelyn asked from the front when we were nearly at my school.
“Yeah, he's coming into school to do my medical and then I think he's doing a check-up at school every fortnight.” I explained.
Phil had been my specialist nurse since I was diagnosed and trained alongside my brother’s nurse until he became qualified. There were around ten years between Phil and I but after seeing him twice a month for three years we'd become friends. He was probably my best friend; he knew everything about me. I could tell him anything and he'd understand - he was like an agony aunt to me. He even travelled to see me at school so I wouldn't have to travel to the hospital two cities over where he was based.
“You like Philip, don't you?” Evelyn asked.
“He's great at what he does.” I shrugged. This was proof of how little attention they paid me.
“Send our love." Evelyn told me.
“Yeah.” I shrugged.
“And make sure you tell us everything this evening.” Dad called and I nodded absent-mindedly. I never told them everything; it would mean reminding myself how shit my life was.
We pulled up outside school and I got out of the car. I grabbed by bag and I looked around me. There were people everywhere filing inside the school. “Bye.” I told the car and went to turn around.
I turned headed toward the school. I almost looked back at them but turning back would be like admitting defeat. Instead I turned back when I'd reached the school doors and was able to casually move my head in their direction. Their car was already gone. I put my head up high and walked into school.
The bell sounded and I made my way to home room. I took my seat near the back of the class. As I walked past people it made me think, there are too many people in my year that I don't talk to. Then my eyes landed on Hope. I classed her as my best friend. She was for a long time but then I was diagnosed. After what happened to Alex I didn't want anyone knowing and that included Hope. I think she thought I had become distant or maybe had a few problems at home. We didn't speak as much as we used to last year.
“Hope." I said brightly and she just looked back to me in shock.
“Helena, oh god. What did you do?” she asked, wide-eyed.
“What?” I asked innocently and sat next to her.
“The make-up, the clothes and the hair. What – why did you?” Hope tried.
“I wanted a change and this is different.”
“Well, yes.” Hope agreed gently. She was trying to get her words out without hurting my feelings. I knew I looked stupid but that was the point.
“It’s something new.”
“Isn't it against school rules?” Hope asked and I rolled my eyes at her.
“No, dyed hair isn't against the rules so why does this be? It’s confident and fun." I stated but Hope looked uncertain.
“Are you sure?" she asked.
“It looks like a homeless cat’s climbed up on your head and died!” I heard Mike's voice call from the front of the room.
I looked over to Mike and his friends Tony and Jaime. Mike was walking towards us and doing that confident flick with his hair. He liked to think he was in his own personal music video with the voices in his head singing along. I loathed Mike Fuentes.
“Piss off, Fuentes!” I hissed back and watched the stupid smirk spread across his face.
“Can't handle the truth?” he asked and leant against my table, draping his arm around me.
“Again, piss off.” I repeated and edged away from him.
“Seriously, what did you do to your hair?” Jaime asked and I saw a smile on Hope's face. Thanks Hope.
“I gave it something.” I shrugged nonchalantly.
“That something should be illegal,” Mike said and everyone around me laughed.
“Mike,” I started and he looked down at me with interest, “Have you ever wondered what the world sounds like when your self-absorbed voice isn't filling a comfortable silence?” I asked.
“Aha, Dread Head, come on. You love my self-absorbed voice.” Mike teased, his tone silky.
“I think you're in my personal space.”
“And?” he mocked.
“I'll take out a restraining order and get you on a list.”
“What list?” Tony asked suddenly.
“The list of people that I'm going to run over when I pass my driving test.”
“You'd never even clip me.”
“You sure?” I asked and raised my eyebrows.
“You don't have the guts.” Mike said.
“I do.” I countered. For some reason that hurt me.
“You don't, you're just...” Mike tried but stopped to think for a moment.
“Just what?”
“I don't know.” he faltered.
“Just what?” I asked, more urgently.
“You just don't have it in you.” he shrugged.
“You're just kind of bland.” Jaime put in.
“You're not very memorable.” Tony added, not unkindly.
“What are you saying?” I asked.
“You're boring.” Mike whispered in my ear. I pulled away from him and looked to the others.
“Hope, I'm not boring. Am I?” I asked but she didn't reply. She looked uncomfortable.
“Of course not, you're normal, Helena." she told me after a long pause.
“She's lying.” Mike teased and stepped closer to me. I knew what Mike was doing; he was trying to make me uncomfortable. He knew how damn good looking he was and relished in it.
“You're so sure of everything.” I commented quietly and stood up until my lips were only inches away from his. “You're not that irresistible.” I smiled and started to close the gap between us. I only just had time to see the shocked look on his face before I kicked him hard in the balls.
“OW!” Mike screamed in pain. “You mental bitch!” he yelled and hopped from foot to foot.
“Helena!" Hope exclaimed and clapped her hand over her mouth.
“If you want to do this again, you know where to find me.” I told Mike brightly and turned away, heading off towards the front of the class to have a word with my teacher.

Notes

Hey! What did you think? Second chapter! Do you like Helena? What about Mike? What about what she did? Infirma will be explained in the next chapter! Let me know what you think! :)