A Fool's Revenge.

It’s been a month since figuring out that Ben wasn’t the one for me and now I was on my way over to Mike’s place to talk to him. I have slowly been getting close to James, well closer. I had been gradually talking to people more and more and when I finally talked to Mike it was like we were so distant. I felt like I was back in high school because my self-esteem was crushed and my feelings were obliterated.

I pulled into a driveway, the one Mike gave me, and I had to take a few deep breaths to clear my head. I don’t know why I felt so nervous but I do and it sucks. I slowly walked up to the door and knocked. I looked at the dude that answered the door skeptically because I didn’t know who he was.

“Hi, are you looking for someone?” he asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, I’m Jayme. I’m looking for Mike.” I smiled awkwardly as I fidgeted with the cuffs of my jacket.

“Oh, alright. I’m Chris, Mike’s cousin. He’s upstairs. Come in, I’ll go get him.” he smiled. Now I could see the resemblance. I walked in and found my way to their living room and waited for Mike to come down.

“Hey, come on.” He said from the doorway. I got up and followed him up the stairs and into his room where the tension between us was so thick, you would need a chainsaw to get through it.

“So, what’s up?” he asked as he sat on his bed and I was left standing there in the middle of his room, awkwardly.

“I just wanted to talk. I’ve, uhh, been trying to clear some things up I guess.” I sighed and he motioned for me to sit next to him.

“Well, what are you trying to clear up?” he asked and furrowed his brows.

“Well, my feelings.” I mumbled and picked at my finger nails. I looked at him momentarily and saw his expression was blank and I couldn’t really tell what he was thinking.

“What about them?” he inquired.

“I, I’m just mixed up between two people and… you’re one of them and I just want things to be set straight, I guess.” I mumbled as I laid back onto his cushy pillows.

“So what do you want to clear up between us?” I glanced over at him and he had a worried expression I sighed and tried to fit the words I wanted to say together in my mind.

“Well, like at the hospital you told me you loved me and a while ago you said the same thing and, I just, I don’t know. I guess I just want to know where we stand.” I kept my gaze on his stark white ceiling until he cleared his throat to speak.

“Well, I do like you but I know you have your reservations about me and I know I shouldn’t have just walked out on you like I did but I don’t know where we stand, Jayme. I don’t know what I want from whatever we are but I know if anything, I want to be friends with you and if things don’t turn out the way I plan then I hope the other guys makes you as happy as you’ll ever be and that’s all I could ever wish for.” He paused to look me in the eyes and when he did something just seemed to click. We knew something was going on between us but we knew that we were toxic to each other. “I just want you to be happy.” He mumbled then turned his back to me. I didn’t know what to say, my voice was caught in my throat. I hated this feeling of not knowing and being so caught up that I couldn’t talk let alone think straight.

“I want to be happy but I don’t want things to be awkward between us and I know that’s what’s gonna happen. I resent the fact that I know even if we did end up together that we will forever fight about things and say things we don’t mean and I wish it wasn’t like that. Like you, I will always want to be friends with you no matter what happens but, between you and me, I know we will never be JUST friends.” I rationalized even though it made me tear up. I hated to hurt people, even Mike, but it seemed like that was all I was ever doing lately. I was a destructive person, like a disease without a cure.

As time went on and he didn’t say anything nor turn back around to look at me, I knew this conversation was over and I had badly hurt him (Again.)

“I like you Mike, I really do, but we’re so bad for each other. We go round and round in this vicious cycle of hurting each other then saying our regrets about it all and I can’t stand it! I know we can be friends but it’s just, I don’t know if we’ll ever be more than that. I feel like our feelings get so in the way of everything. I want you to be happy to, Mike, so if a girl comes along, scoop her up because neither of us can wait forever.” I said before walking out.

For the first time since I’ve known Mike Fuentes, I was finally walking out on him. I didn’t feel too good about it but I had figured a few more things out and now I was on my way home to sit and ponder some more about some things that still had to be sorted out; one thing being James and then Priscilla’s feelings towards Mike.

I knew both of our feelings for Mike caused this minor fallout between us but now that I had somewhat let Mike go, she was free to do her thing with him. I was happy that I could tell her that but I was afraid of what she would say. She was so adamant about me going for him because of all of those drunken confession calls late, late at night but I was going to be adamant with her about doing something, other than photography, for herself. She was always more concerned about other people’s happiness than her own and now it was my turn to return the favor.


I pulled into my driveway and just went straight to bed. No tea, nothing. I changed into my pajamas and passed out. After all of these emotions towards so many different people, I felt like I was getting drowned. Sleep was the only thing that could revive me now.

Notes

So, Jay has finally talked to Mike....
What do ya think is gonna happen next? What do you think is gonna happen when she talks to Priscilla and then with James? You know how I love to hear your thoughts and predictions:)


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