I hadn’t felt this way in a while. Somehow perfectly content with everything. I was nervous, especially with the way Tori’s dad eyed the ink that covered my body, and the fact that I was meeting her whole family for the first time, but all of my anxiousness faded away with Tori’s hand in mine. Everything was okay with her near me.

“Aunt Tori!” Noah exclaimed, her name sounding more like ‘toe-wee’ as he came towards where we were sitting at her parents’ back porch. Noah easily had her wrapped around his little finger. She was his ‘new favourite aunt’ and he was pretty cool with me around as he showed us his new toy truck.

“Hey little guy,” she answered while lifting him up to sit on her lap. “Are you having a good time?”

He nodded. “I want a train for my birthday,” he said. “Grandma, did you get one for your birthday?”

Tori’s mom shook her head. “I didn’t,” she chuckled. “How about one weekend we ride on a train with Grandpa?”

Noah’s eyes widened in excitement. “Yeah! Can Aunt Tori and her boyfriend come too?” he asked animatedly, holding on to Tori’s other hand.

At the word ‘boyfriend’, Tori’s cheeks reddened as I imagined mine did too. The rest of her family just laughed. Her fingers tightened for a second between mine, a little way of apologising. As embarrassing as it might’ve been for us, I didn’t mind it at all. It was such a good feeling that I didn’t know I was craving.

“Oh, Noah,” his grandpa--Tori’s dad—sighed as he slung his arm over the back of her mom’s chair. He turned to Tate and his wife, Bella. “He’ll be needing a little brother soon.”

Tate raised his eyebrow, placing his hand on Bella’s knee. “Will a little sister do?” he asked, a proud, triumphant smile sprawling across their faces.

Tori’s mom’s eyes widened like Noah’s did. “Are you expecting another baby?”

Bella giggled. “Two months now.”

As Tori’s parents came over to congratulate them, I glanced over at Tori. I could tell that she was overwhelmed with love and happiness, something that she had wanted for so long as well. I would give anything to make sure she stayed this happy.

Amongst it all, Tate pointed a finger towards us, a sly grin on his face which held the mischief Noah’s was full of. “You two better not get any ideas from this.”

“Tate!” Tori whined, flushing even deeper and leaning into my shoulder. “I’m so sorry,” she mumbled.

I gave her hand another squeeze. “Trust me, my family are going to be so much worse,” I assured her. I internally cringed just thinking about Jaime, Mike and Vic telling her stories of me during tour and all the other antics we got up to. I was probably going to end up how Tori was feeling now, but tripled.

I didn’t even want to think about what my Mom would end up saying about me.

Noah helped Tori’s mom blow out the candles on her cake when it was time to sing happy birthday to her. Before it was cut though, Tori’s dad stood up with his bottle of Corona in hand. I hadn’t talked to him that much yet but I was hoping that I had made a good impression.

“A toast,” he began. “One in honour of your mom and the second to family. We’re finally all together again, with some new people becoming a part of it,” he said, the corner of his mouth rising a bit for the moment he looked at me. “Here’s to more happy memories like this.”

Tori’s mom nodded beside him, clearly ecstatic to have another grandchild on the way and overjoyed to have her daughter back. “Cheers!” she smiled, clinking her wine glass with Tori’s dad and to everyone else, even with Noah as he held his glass of juice.

There was slight chatter while everyone was eating their slice of cake which was heavenly. It reminded me of my mom’s baking a bit and it got me looking forward to coming home, and bringing Tori with me. I guessed no matter where I was, my real home was always going to be when I was with her.

As the conversation lulled to a hush, a new topic arose. “So, Tony...”

“What are you smiling about?” Tori asked beside me. The sun peering out from her window illuminated her face a bit. She wanted to see San Diego from up above and grew more excited the closer we got to the coast.

I leaned back into my seat, weaving my fingers through hers. I couldn’t enough of the feel of her hand in mine. Something about it felt so right. “I was thinking about your mom’s birthday.”

She groaned a bit but the memory caused her to make a rueful smile. “Tate’s never going to let me live this down as long we’re together.”

“I could say the same about my friends,” I replied. “They’ll like you, babe.” I really liked calling her that. I liked it even more when she called me that too. This, and all the other little pet names we’ve been giving each other, made everything so official. We were ‘together together’ as Tate had said. Tori was my girlfriend and my best friend. I would be too greedy if I asked for more. I didn’t think that I could.

Over the PA system, the pilot informed us passengers that we were about to descend. Tori looked out the window. “Look at all that blue,” she mused. Maybe she really did need that change in scenery. She turned to me, her face brilliant with her perfect smile. “Babe....” words didn’t even need to explain how stoked and amazed she was.

Collecting our luggage was quick since not many people were on our flight so it was easy to check one. Once leaving the terminal, hand in hand, we were spotted by Jaime, who I had called for a lift back to my apartment.

He tackled me into a bear hug once we were close enough to him. While he was squeezing the lift out of me, I caught sight of Jess who offered a friendly smile to Tori as if they had known each other a long time ago.

“I missed you so much, babycakes,” Jaime teased. The embarrassment already begun and we had just landed in San Diego. I felt my cheeks grow hot as Tori held in a laugh.

“It’s good to see you, too,” I replied after he had let go. “Hey, Jess,” I added, holding up a hand.

“And this has to be your lovely ladyfriend,” Jaime exclaimed as he moved closer to her. “Nice to finally meet the girl behind all the letters and emails. I’m Jaime and this is my girlfriend, Jess.”

Tori returned their smiles. “It’s nice to finally meet you guys too.”

“Aw, man, have I got stories about our Tony for you, Tori,” he grinned as she giggled. Though it was at my expense, happiness radiated out of her. He offered to take her suitcase and the four of us headed to the carpark. We were hit with a fresh sea breeze and I didn’t realise that I would come to miss it a bit.

“How’s everything?” Jaime asked. We had fallen behind Jess and Tori who were getting acquainted with themselves. They seemed to be hitting it off without any effort. It was also so good to see Tori breaking out of her old self. Her confidence grew each day. I have nothing but sheer pride and love for her.

I shrugged. Not in a dismal way, but the type of shrug that was laidback and content. “We’re good. Really good...”

Beside me, Jaime chuckled. “You’re in deep, bro,” he said, shaking his head. “But you’re way happier than I have ever seen you which is awesome. Tori seems like a one of a kind.”

I nodded. “She really is. I don’t know what to tell you. She’s just amazing.”

“You’re so cute when you’re in love, babycakes,” he snickered, his dimples popping up.

I rolled my eyes. It was going to be a long day, and it was just the beginning.

I was expecting the ride back to my apartment to be somewhat quiet but we ended up talking for the whole journey. Though I had thoroughly enjoyed having some time just with Tori, it was nice to get into the swing of my normal life, back with old friends. And what made it even better was that she was there to share it with me.

“That smells so good,” Tori muttered while climbing up the second floor to my apartment. I too caught the familiar scent of my mom’s cooking.

Jess chuckled a little bit. “You’re going to have no trouble hanging around with these guys, Tori,” she said encouragingly.

Jaime joined in with her laughter, throwing his arm over her shoulders and pressing a quick kiss on the side of her head. I always admired their relationship. Ever since meeting when we were in high school, they had an undeniable love for one another which only grew as the years passed. Though it was simple and cheesy, I hoped that Tori and I could follow in their example.

“We’re here!” he called, opening the door and exposing a strong aroma of meat, herbs and spices. It felt like coming home from school to find Mom in the kitchen preparing some food and a letter from Tori awaiting to be read.

“Tony!!!” was the first thing I heard before even stepping in. Out came Mike, slightly towering me as he pulled me into a hug just as tight and huge as Jaime’s.

“Hey, man,” I replied, patting his shoulder, not exactly expecting our reunion to be this big, but nonetheless appreciating it.

“It’s so good to see you, love muffin,” he said, the corner of his mouth pulling up slightly.

“Not you, too,” I sighed while Tori giggled behind me.

“Is this her? Tori?” Mike asked, letting me go. “Hey, I’m Mike. Has he been treating you right? If he isn’t just hit your boy up, yeah? I’ll set him straight,” he winked.

“Mike,” I hissed, my cheeks flaring and not because of the heat.

Tori smiled. “Don’t worry,” she replied. “I’ll give him a piece of my mind if ever something happens. Maybe we can tag team?”

“Wow, we met just a few seconds ago but I’m liking you already,” Mike said, grinning. “You better treat her right, Tone, or else,” he warned. “She’s a keeper.”

“Mike, give them some space will ya?” a new voice asked, Vic. He waved us in from the doorway. “Come on in, I bet you’re a bit tired,” he added with a smile.

I led Tori into my apartment, my hand in hers. Mike and Vic’s girlfriends were here too, sitting on the sofa. They greeted us, happy to have us back while Tori took in the space. On the counter island was a whole spread of untouched food that made my mouth want to water. After living on take out for the past few weeks, it was so refreshing to come back to a home cooked meals.

“What do you think?” I asked her quietly. Her eyes caught the balcony that had a decent view of the sea, one that I hadn’t paid attention to while I was moving in.

“So far, so good,” she answered. “Look at all that blue,” she said quietly, getting lost in the infinite ocean just like how I would get lost in her eyes’ infinite blue. After living all her life in such warm, vibrant colours, she was finally getting her fix of blue.

I felt a pair of arms encircle my waist—arms that weren’t hers.

“I missed you, darling,” Vic said melodramatically, earning a circle of laughter from our friends. “It’s been so long. Don’t leave me again. My little heart can’t take it,” he joked, making his voice sound like he was about to start sobbing.

“I was only gone for a few weeks,” I protested, giving in to the pranks the guys were pulling on me so that I could be playfully humiliated in front of Tori. Judging by those big, beautiful eyes of hers, it was working but she could tell the guys had good intentions.

As Vic let me go, Mike answered. “It feels like you’ve been gone forever. But because of this little lady,” he added, slinging his arm over Tori, “cuddles is back.”

“Cuddles?” Tori repeated, amused. She shot me a quizzical look and all I could do was blush. After joining in with all the teasing we gave each other when introducing our girlfriends, it was finally my turn.

“When we’re on tour he sometimes creeps on our bunks and gives us warm hugs and makes sure we’re not homesick and stuff,” Jaime explained. “His hugs cure any type of sickness.”

Saving myself from further embarrassment, Tori gave my hand a squeeze. “You’re right about the hugs, Jaime,” she replied, glancing at me. “They’re my favourite.”

A chorus of excited ‘awww’s’ filled the living room, causing her cheeks to redden as well. Though we were in for a parade of embarrassment from the guys, I was glad that she was there to laugh with me too. Everyone else started to fall into conversation with each other, leaving me and Tori in our moment.

Someone cleared their throat and it could have only belonged to one person--my Mom. She appeared out of the hallway leading to the bedroom and bathroom, leaning against the doorframe with her arms folded.

“Hey, Ma,” I greeted, walking towards her while Mike whisked Tori away to introduce her to Alysha. It had been a while since I last saw my mom. She was planning on coming over when I first moved in, but of course I had skipped town before I could tell her.

She met me with a hard stare. Although she understood my need to reconcile with Tori, she was still hurt that I hadn’t told her beforehand. Since Mom and I basically had each other in terms of immediate family, we were close. She, like Tori, was there through everything

“Did you have a good time in Phoenix?” she asked slowly, calmly. Her tone made me feel nervous, like back when I was getting scolded as a kid. Even now, years and years later, it still seemed that I was about to.

I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand. “Yeah...”

She nodded. “Good.”

“I should have told you,” I admitted. “I’m sorry I didn’t. And for the way I’ve been acting the last few months. I was really out of it and it was never my intention to hurt you, Ma.”

Mom sighed, shaking her head a little. “As long as you’re feeling better. Are you?”

“I am,” I replied, nodding slightly. “So much more. And what would make me feel even better is if my two favourite girls met.”

Her nonchalant expression broke into a smile, making her seem like her younger self—the way I remembered her. She fully entered the living room again with me beside her. Tori glanced up from her conversation with Alysha and Mike, excusing herself and walking towards us.

“Tori,” I smiled. “This is my mom,” I introduced. “Ma, Tori.”

Mom was the first one to speak. “This is Tori, huh?” she mused. “She’s way more beautiful than you said she was,” she added, covering the side of her mouth and looking towards me, giving a wink at Tori.

I could feel the heat on my cheeks coming again as Tori laughed. “Ma…”

“Well, since you brought her here you should’ve been prepared for some embarrassment,” she smiled, reaching up to ruffle my hair. “But I’m sure the guys have got that covered.” She turned back again to Tori. “It is nice to finally meet you. Tony’s told me quite a bit about you while growing up.”

Tori raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

Mom chuckled. “Nothing to be concerned about. All good things.” She placed a supportive hand on Tori’s shoulder. “You should be proud of yourself, just like he is of you.”

Tori looked at me a bit, her blush becoming apparent again. “Thank you.”

“Now,” Mom said, straightening up. “Why don’t you grab something to eat and I’ll show you some photos of Tony when he was younger. I found some old albums and I think you’d like to see them,” she chuckled, catching my eyes panic a bit at the thought of Tori seeing me as a little kid and awkward teen.

The day went past so quickly that I didn’t even notice the sun going down. Though it was so simple, spending the day catching up with friends and family did me good. It even made the embarrassment of everyone laughing at my baby photos and Mom’s fond memories of me growing up bearable. And Tori was there for it all—something that I had dreamt about which became true.

After threats directed at me in the event that Tori and I broke up, we said our goodbyes, making plans for the days ahead. Life was good. The days where everything was so black and numb were gone. There was colour in my life again.

I leaned against the island counter after we finished stacking the dishes inside the dishwasher. Tori went over to me and I guided her arms to wrap around me. “Do you like it here?” I asked, second-guessing my decision to suggest going to San Diego. I was a bit disconcerted that the guys’ rowdiness would have scared her off a bit.

“To be fair, I’ve only been here for like...seven hours?” she replied, her thumbs drawing small circles at my sides. She chuckled and I couldn’t help but breathe in a laugh too. “But so far, it’s been great. Amazing. Your friends are so caring and your mom is the cutest. Now I really wish that you could’ve stopped by Phoenix when you went to Nevada ages and ages ago so that she could’ve met my parents.”

I smiled, holding her by her waist. “There’s plenty of time for that,” I promised her. “Sides, we’ve always said they’d have to meet eventually.”

She closed the gap between us by giving me a hug, her head against my heart. I wondered if she knew that she was the reason why it always beat a little faster. Maybe even the reason why it was still beating today.

“What are you thinking about?” she whispered as my fingers played with the tips of her curls.

“You,” I answered, just as quietly. I was never fully able to keep her out of my mind. Now that we were together, she occupied more of that space than I thought was possible. I sometimes caught myself letting my mind racing with thoughts of her. How she was feeling, what she was thinking of and what I was to her. I knew she loved me. That was a plain truth. I hated that I sometimes doubted myself that much to not believe that she did. I cleared my throat. “Not to be creepy or anything,” I added as an afterthought, which made her laugh again.

She lifted her head up, looking at me with her pretty, crystal eyes. “If it’s any consolation, I think about you a lot, too.”

My free hand cupped her cheek, which she delicately leaned in to. “You mean the world to me,” she continued. “Tony, you are my world.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” I mused, closing my eyes for just a second and taking in the moment. This was a moment that felt so raw, so precious. Something than shone brighter than any star in the sky.

She inched closer until there was only a mere gap between the both of us. I felt her light breath against my skin and it left goosebumps. Her eyes flicked down to my lips, and then stared back into mine. Like countless times before, I could get so lost into their infinite blue. I already was.

“You deserve so much more than you know,” she answered.

I was always caught in on the fence within my mind. For once, both sides reached some common ground. There was the logical, rational voice reminding me that I already had so much, and Tori found me at the right place at the right time. The other half that connected to my heart was overwhelmed with the sensation of her—the tangible and intangible. How could I possibly deserve more if I had everything that I ever wanted?

“I love you,” she murmured and it felt so good to hear her say it aloud. We weren’t holding anything back this time. I didn’t need to worry about her not feeling the same way about us. It was just us. Just me and her. Two kids on the same road. Though I knew it would be winded and twisted, the road never looked so clear until now.

“I love you more,” I whispered against her lips before they touched completely. I moved my hand on her cheek to the nape of her neck, my fingers lacing through her golden hair. Tori made a soft noise of content as she placed her arms over my shoulders, tiptoeing so that we were on the same level.

Kissing her now resurfaced the old memories of our previous kisses. I remembered how she was like my cigarette—addictive and leaving me with this irresistible high that kept me coming back for more. The taste of her was in some ways familiar and unknown. Familiar because it wasn’t the first time that we had been like this. In each other’s arms, inseparable. And unknown, because there was so much left that we haven’t done. Time was finally on our side.

Like each kiss before when I didn’t realise I was with her, the one we shared now started off slow and sweet, getting deeper and more intense with each passing second. But now, there was some sort of heated urgency. A sense of hunger and undeniable passion. When she was Ella, I restrained myself. With Tori, there was no need to hold myself back.

Without separating, I lifted her up and spun around so that she was sitting on top of the counter. I didn’t know where each kiss ended and the new one began. I didn’t even know how we managed to breathe without being apart for too long. All I could focus on was her. Her fingers weaving through my hair. The faint smell of her vanilla perfume rubbing off on me. Our short breaths in between before reconnecting our lips and tongues. How her hair stroked my cheeks, creating a golden curtain around us. And, perhaps the feature I loved the most, the way I felt the slightest smile against my lips. She was happy. And what seemed more surreal was that I happened to be the reason behind her joy.

Not before long, her legs straddled my hips, pushing us closer than ever, and her artist fingers slid down my back to the hem of my shirt. Her nails dug into the skin of my lower back as I left a trail of kisses on her neck, only for me to return back to her lips. As she began to tug at my shirt, I had to stop. There was no way I could go back if we kept this up. I didn’t even want to look back. Our foreheads touched as we caught up with our breathing.

“Are you sure you want this?” I asked quietly, looking up into her eyes. Her eyes were dilated, with a small ring of azure encircling the irises. Even in the dim light, her skin glistened with a bit of sweat and I could imagine that mine did too. She was heavenly.

Her finger softly traced the lower part of my spine. “I want you,” she answered a little breathlessly. “As long as you want me.”

I responded by crashing my lips against hers. Everything was turning to bliss and her touch made me want to melt. Sooner or later, my hands were at her waist, gripping tightly to the end of her singlet. Her hands rose as she lifted up my shirt to take it off. The only bit I hated about it was that it separated my mouth from hers, even if it wasn’t for a second. Any moment away from her seemed too long.

It wasn’t that long until I was breaking apart from her lips to remove her top. As soon as the fabric left the tips of my fingers I lifted her up again, making her let out a small gasp of surprise. She was light in my arms but was the most solid thing in my life. The thing that seemed most real. I wasn’t scared that she wasn’t some cruel dream that my mind had created. All that I wanted was here, so delicate and so strong in my arms. My girl from Phoenix. My Tori. My everything.

Notes

lol hope you enjoyed that. im sorry that the part with tony's mum was a bit weird oops

do you guys know how hard it is having to stop yourself from typing mum when you mean to type mom. anyway aaaaah i'm so invested in tori and tony. im like so proud of them and aaah my babies.
like claire said before in the other chapter's note, if this site is truly going to disappear into the void just hit our tumblrs up (me - gvskarths, claire - s0joshdun) and we'll inform you guys for updates. hopefully this site won't expire though haha


here we go have a full squad photo.
hope you guys can't get enough of tori and tony being together and are stoked for the next chapter my boo claire is going to dazzle you with bc she's amazing and her writing is just goals tbh
don't be salty, kids, too much effort. just be chill and you shall have chill. i should shut up now. ily x