The texture of her lips on mine was incomparable—hers were soft like velvet, gentle and magnificent, where as mine were chapped and crusted, coarse. I didn’t know how I felt even in this calmer kiss, all I knew was that it felt like my lips were undeserving of hers. The match was wrong but I wanted it to be right so I pulled away briefly just to move in again. And surprisingly she wasn’t pushing me away, or maybe she was just letting it happen, too in shock to react properly. I was too much in my own world to tell if she was kissing me back or not. I ran my fingers down the side of her precious face and I felt her shudder.

“Mike,” she muttered. “Mike, no.”

I couldn’t force her. I couldn’t let my feelings take over and turn me into something I wasn’t. I couldn’t do that to her. Not her. I wouldn’t be that to her, I didn’t want to scare her, she’s been in that place before and I didn’t want to be that person this time. I pulled away and dropped my hands, they were shaking violently.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

“I can’t,” she cried and sniffed.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I don’t want to hurt you guys anymore…”

“You can’t,” she shook her head, tears flowed down her face at a consistent rate.

“I know,” I said quietly. I lifted my hands and held her face between mine gently. Against everything in my head I leaning forward again and just kissed her one last time. It was that one that confirmed everything for me—suddenly, I knew.

My eyes flickered up and caught a figure a little ways away—someone collapsed to the ground and breathing heavily. My eyes widened and I pulled away from Drella hastily. “Vic,” I gasped in horror. Her eyes widened too and she turned to look at what I was looking at—Vic, with a surprisingly broken body and also an evident broken heart. Shit.

“Vic,” I called as we both rushed over to him.

“S-stay away from me,” he spat in my direction, not even looking at Drella. His face contorted in pain.

“What happened to you?” I asked in shock. His nose was crooked and cracked open, a thick blood stain dripping down his face. He was wheezing instead of breathing and holding his side. His eyes were red and watery.

“I said get the fuck away from me!” he yelled, staggering as he tried to stand up. He wavered though and almost fell to the ground, so by instinct I reached forward and caught him before he could collapse. He cringed away from me and tried to push me away, and I, forgetting all sense and the reason for his current repulsion from me, continued to hold him up. He responded by throwing a weak punch in my direction.

“She’s mine,” he growled possessively. His words sent a tremor through my body.

“I know,” I said. He didn’t hear, though.

“How could you?” he screamed. I heard Drella yell Vic’s name but neither of us responded to her.

“Vic what the fuck happened to you?” I asked through gritted teeth.

“Your roommate is lovely Mike. Real lovely. And drugs?! What the fuck were you thinking? Why would you do this?!”

My veins iced over—all of my secrets were out in the open. I released Vic from my grasp and took a step back. Everything about my life—my confused love for Drella, my kissing Drella, my drug addiction—hurt Vic. Physically and emotionally. He fell to the ground again, clutching his side and his face twisting.

“Vic,” Drella gasped quietly and knelt by his side, hovering a hand over his body as a way to comfort him but not knowing how because she didn’t want to hurt him. A strike of pain flashed across his face. He leaned away from Drella, the action looking reluctant, he was conflicted.

“She didn’t do anything Vic,” I said lowly. He still backed away from her and Drella remained in her place, kneeling in the grass and staring at Vic carefully.

Vic clenched his eyes shut and breathed heavily, and all I could do was watch. He was in so much pain now because of me.

“I can’t believe you two,” he said lowly. His eyes snapped open and he pushed himself off of the ground. He staggered a bit but steadied himself, standing as strong as possible in front of us. He sent us both looks of disgust but mainly hurt.

“I-I’m sick of always being the weak one,” he said lowly, his fists clenching. “The one everyone takes advantage of. The soft one. The one who cries and gets hurt.” My heart broke at his words.

“Vic—” I started, but Vic exploded with anger—anger to mask his pain. His pain that I caused.

“You don’t get to talk right now,” he growled, pointing an accusing finger in my direction. Then he dropped his hand and shifted his gaze to Drella. His shoulders slacked and I saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “And you…” he shook his head.

“Vic, I swear—”

“You’re cheating on me with my own brother.”

“No!” we both exclaimed at the same time. But Vic wasn’t having it.

“After everything…” he mumbled, shaking his head. “This is why you’ve been acting so strange?” Then he turned to me. “This is why you’ve been avoiding us… or, just me?”

“Vic, I was acting strange because I didn’t know how to tell you about the baby. I was afraid it’d ruin your career. I was just nervous. I promise—”

“Oh my God,” Vic breathed, interrupting Drella’s explanation. “Oh my God,” he repeated, his eyes flickering between me and Drella. “Is it not mine?” he tilted his head to the side so innocently, contrasting with the nature of his accusation.

“Vic! For God’s sake, of course it’s yours,” Drella rushed. “I never slept with Mike, Vic. What just happened didn’t mean anything, oh my God,” she panicked. I expected that, but her words sent a stabbing sensation in my chest. But I was braced for the pain, I surely deserved it and I needed to feel it to remind myself that Drella was not mine—she was Vic’s and I had to be okay with that.

Vic shook his head and blinked rapidly. He took a few steps back and turned.

“Vic, wait! Please,” Drella cried, whimpering. She reached out for him but he stretched his limps out into a run—he was running away.

“Fuck,” I muttered. “Drella I’m so sorry,” I whispered hoarsely, turning towards her tentatively.

Tears ran down her face—more like a sprint rather than a run. “T-today was supposed to be the best day of my life,” she whispered, and I hated how guilty she looked for saying that, like she felt bad for the fact that she was with Vic. She held her hand on her stomach and sobbed into her other one.

“I’m so sorry,” I breathed. I was a selfish coward. I just had to have that one last kiss before I let her go, didn’t I? Because in that one I truly realized where she belonged. With Vic, not me. And I realized where I belonged, too—I wasn’t meant to be with Drella. I was meant to be her friend, her best friend, her guardian but not her lover. It had to be like that, we had no other choice—except now I didn’t know where I stood, or where any of us stood, because I had gone and fucked everything up. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled again as I turned and ran away.

Notes

Hiii.
Sorry it's been a while. I had this written for this entire time but was going to wait to update until I finished the story, or at least the next chapter, (this ends at chapter 10) but then figured it's been too long and should probably update no matter what. Sooo here ya goo
Thanks for reading if you do!