Sleeping, With Saints And Apparations
I'll Move Forward Without The Person I Need
Tony Perry
|Feb.2nd 4:59 am| San Diego
I woke up the next morning without any recall of last night and saw the girl lying next to me. After about thirty minutes of waking her up and finding our clothes ( and remembering her name was Jillian), we head into the car.
"God, I hate this," She spoke in an Australian accent, pressing her hand onto her forehead.
After dropping off Jillian back at the bar, my mind was now on two women.
And now, all I really see is Jillian’s body. I feel the need to go looking for her. I want to feel her in my arms again. I want to hear her voice. Because Jillian was something different. I may not remember, but something was there.
“Tony!” A voice called from outside my window followed by a clack of a rock being thrown. I rolled my eyes. I had a bone to pick with Jaime. I walked to my window and opened it up.
“What Preciado! You abandoned me at a bar!” I yelled while flipping off Mr. Owens who was doing his daily ‘I Hate Guitarist In HeavyScreamo Rock Bands, Just In General I Hate You,’ scowling retinue at me.
“Well, considering I’ve been waiting for you for fifteen minutes, I’m taking you got laid. But I wanna talk to you!” He yelled.
“Can’t it wait till tomorrow?”
“No! We have to leave in a few to meet at Vic’s. The buses for our band and that other band is today! Did you forget?!” And I did. My mind was so occupied on Jillian, that I forgot that today was the start of the tour. This band has a bigger fan base than we do and we get to support them, along with a talented song-writer.
“Man, Jaime, what could you possibly want to talk about now?”
“The woman from the gas station! Should I send up a Missing Person report?”
“What was her name?” I said with a sigh. So much for a few more hours rest.
“Jillian!” My heart pumped faster at the mention of her name. Although I’m certain it’s not the same Jillian, it still got me excited up here and down there. “I don’t know her last name, I think she came from LA!” I know for sure this isn’t the same Jillian. My Jillian came from Australia. My Jillian? Where the hell did that come from? I quickly banished the thought and shook my head. I breathed out a sigh mixed with relief and disappointment.
“I’m pretty sure she’s not missing Jaime, maybe she left because you scared her.”
“I DON’T SCARE PEOPLE!” He yelled, flailing his arms.
“You’ll scare off my neighbours if you keep it up.” He rolled his eyes.
“Fine, I’ll report her missing myself. Some help you are you frigging turtle!” And with that he stormed off. “MOVE!” He yelled at a passing Mr. Owens.
Jillian Stewart
|Feb. 2nd 5:03 am| San Diego
I used the key Levi keeps in the mailbox to get in. The buses leave at seven and would be here an hour from now and from what Levi explained he and I had to drive to Vic’s house for the buses. I crept up the stairs and opened the door. Levi was asleep with Kayla.
I sighed, only because that used to be me. Wrapped up in someone else’s arms, sleeping soundly with small diamond glinting, even in the dark. Even in abunk with four to eight other people. I used to be loved.
I quietly closed the door and walked across the apartment to my room, I grabbed my already packed bag and opened it, making sure everything was together when something caught my eye.
It was a iPod. I never remember having an iPod. I grabbed it anyway and stared at the screen that was asking for a passcode. I furrowed my eyebrows together, trying to think of a passcode, letting my fingers hover above the screen.
It still puzzled me why I had an iPod. I haven’t touched this bag since I was in the UK touring with…..
My eyes widen at the iPod. I knew the passcode. I quickly typed the numbers in: 0316.
I went to the videos, knowing it was there. In the video section, there was five videos. Each one dated. I touched the first video:
Mar/16 20117:09 pm
“We’re looking at two species in its natural habitat. One is a British guitar player by the name of Cameron. One is a Australian guitar player by the name of Jillian. How these two different species mate, is unknown.” I snapped my head to Ben who had a iPod, pointing the camera at me and Cameron.
“Do you want to die?” I asked. He smiled at me.
“Mate. It’s March 16th. Do you know what that means?” he asked. I shook my head. “It’s been a year since you joined us.”
“Not by choice.”
“Sure.” He snorted. “It’s also a year since you and Cameron got together.”
“Why are you recording us?” I sat up from my position curled up by Cameron’s side.
“Because. To celebrate one year, I wanted to say, you are the best thing to ever happen to us. Well, to them. The best thing to happen to me was meeting Sarah.” I rolled my eyes at his stupid one night stand. “We’ve released our second album and to say a thank you, Sam! Danny! James! Get your asses out here mates!” the three of them walked out , Sam carrying a cake and James and Danny holding a bottle of champagne in hand.
The cake said congratulations.
“I don’t understand-” I sat up and began shaking my head. Congratulations for what? This is making no sense. I shook my head and closed my eyes, turning away from the couch. I hate being confused, being lost.
“Jillian, open your eyes. turn around.” I shook my head again. Someone grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. “Open your eyes.” I did as told, but saw nothing on the couch.
“The fu-” someone cleared their throat and I looked down, only to gasp and back up a few feet. Cameron smile at me from his stance, on one knee with a box in his hands-
I stop the video and turned the video off. I threw the iPod to the floor and bit my tongue to hold back the tears. I put a hand over my mouth and backed up until the back of my legs hit the bed.
March 16th.
0316
0 3 / 1 6
The day I was engaged.
The sun began rising in less than thirty minutes as we neared an apartment complex. I had an uneasy feeling all morning since I saw that video. It had nothing to do with Kayla’s death threat stares. It had nothing to do with Levi’s apologies and it had nothing to do with me promising to make it up to Levi.
It simply had to do with the fact, the closer we came to the apartment complex, the more unease my stomach felt and the more I knew something good was not going to happen once inside that apartment door.
The other part was knowing that somewhere in San Diego is Tony Perry. The thought sends shivers up my arms, although it’s fairly 75 degrees out this morning. The fact that I know he’s somewhere but yet not knowing his exact location frustrates me.
Knowing that Cameron is somewhere, but not knowing his exact location confuses me. I should know where my own-
“Here.” I looked to my right and saw Levi standing with the car door open and my bag in hand. I looked at the car dashboard. Six A.M on the dot.
I got out, letting my feet hit the concrete and took my bag from Levi. Kayla sped off after I grabbed my guitar from the backseat. Parked in front of the complex was two tour buses. Being that they are so huge, anyone on the first or second floor probably has a view of the front lounge of each bus.
For once, I feel like I’m not ready for tour. I’m not ready to see the rest of my band I neglected. It may have seemed easy getting Levi to let me in again, the rest may not cave in so easily.
Especially Jace. Especially Vince.
But if I don’t do it now, who will? If I were to bail right now, who would fill in guitar. Who would be the mother figure to Vince, who would be the leader of the band?
I had responsibilities that I neglected as band creator, guitar player, and a motherly figure and it was time that I change my ways. Nothing’s holding me down anymore, nothing’s in my way. I’m clean now and this is my clean slate.
I marched onto the bus with a high held head and set my stuff on the middle bunk, marching out and into the open apartment door. Once inside I froze.
I have never really met the band before except Vic because I don’t like post-hardcore music. But hearing Vic’s lyrics told me I had to tour with them. Seeing them in person instead of hearing them on record is like a dream.
While Vic stood off to the side talking to one of my band members, Samantha, I took the time to study the features of the man not too far from him.
The first thing that got me was the similar nose features between the two men. Next thing to startled me was the similarity in eye shape. Especially if they both squinted.
“Hey Fuentes!” a voice shouted. Both heads turned to the alleged caller, brown eyes piercing through the air. “Where’s Perry?” It dawned on me that they were related.
A hand was placed on my shoulder, startling me bit. I turned around to come face to face, prepared for it to be someone in my band when the familiar eyes stare back at me as it did hours earlier.
“Jillian?” I groaned and slap a hand over my face.
|Feb.2nd 4:59 am| San Diego
I woke up the next morning without any recall of last night and saw the girl lying next to me. After about thirty minutes of waking her up and finding our clothes ( and remembering her name was Jillian), we head into the car.
"God, I hate this," She spoke in an Australian accent, pressing her hand onto her forehead.
After dropping off Jillian back at the bar, my mind was now on two women.
And now, all I really see is Jillian’s body. I feel the need to go looking for her. I want to feel her in my arms again. I want to hear her voice. Because Jillian was something different. I may not remember, but something was there.
“Tony!” A voice called from outside my window followed by a clack of a rock being thrown. I rolled my eyes. I had a bone to pick with Jaime. I walked to my window and opened it up.
“What Preciado! You abandoned me at a bar!” I yelled while flipping off Mr. Owens who was doing his daily ‘I Hate Guitarist In HeavyScreamo Rock Bands, Just In General I Hate You,’ scowling retinue at me.
“Well, considering I’ve been waiting for you for fifteen minutes, I’m taking you got laid. But I wanna talk to you!” He yelled.
“Can’t it wait till tomorrow?”
“No! We have to leave in a few to meet at Vic’s. The buses for our band and that other band is today! Did you forget?!” And I did. My mind was so occupied on Jillian, that I forgot that today was the start of the tour. This band has a bigger fan base than we do and we get to support them, along with a talented song-writer.
“Man, Jaime, what could you possibly want to talk about now?”
“The woman from the gas station! Should I send up a Missing Person report?”
“What was her name?” I said with a sigh. So much for a few more hours rest.
“Jillian!” My heart pumped faster at the mention of her name. Although I’m certain it’s not the same Jillian, it still got me excited up here and down there. “I don’t know her last name, I think she came from LA!” I know for sure this isn’t the same Jillian. My Jillian came from Australia. My Jillian? Where the hell did that come from? I quickly banished the thought and shook my head. I breathed out a sigh mixed with relief and disappointment.
“I’m pretty sure she’s not missing Jaime, maybe she left because you scared her.”
“I DON’T SCARE PEOPLE!” He yelled, flailing his arms.
“You’ll scare off my neighbours if you keep it up.” He rolled his eyes.
“Fine, I’ll report her missing myself. Some help you are you frigging turtle!” And with that he stormed off. “MOVE!” He yelled at a passing Mr. Owens.
Jillian Stewart
|Feb. 2nd 5:03 am| San Diego
I used the key Levi keeps in the mailbox to get in. The buses leave at seven and would be here an hour from now and from what Levi explained he and I had to drive to Vic’s house for the buses. I crept up the stairs and opened the door. Levi was asleep with Kayla.
I sighed, only because that used to be me. Wrapped up in someone else’s arms, sleeping soundly with small diamond glinting, even in the dark. Even in abunk with four to eight other people. I used to be loved.
I quietly closed the door and walked across the apartment to my room, I grabbed my already packed bag and opened it, making sure everything was together when something caught my eye.
It was a iPod. I never remember having an iPod. I grabbed it anyway and stared at the screen that was asking for a passcode. I furrowed my eyebrows together, trying to think of a passcode, letting my fingers hover above the screen.
It still puzzled me why I had an iPod. I haven’t touched this bag since I was in the UK touring with…..
My eyes widen at the iPod. I knew the passcode. I quickly typed the numbers in: 0316.
I went to the videos, knowing it was there. In the video section, there was five videos. Each one dated. I touched the first video:
Mar/16 20117:09 pm
“We’re looking at two species in its natural habitat. One is a British guitar player by the name of Cameron. One is a Australian guitar player by the name of Jillian. How these two different species mate, is unknown.” I snapped my head to Ben who had a iPod, pointing the camera at me and Cameron.
“Do you want to die?” I asked. He smiled at me.
“Mate. It’s March 16th. Do you know what that means?” he asked. I shook my head. “It’s been a year since you joined us.”
“Not by choice.”
“Sure.” He snorted. “It’s also a year since you and Cameron got together.”
“Why are you recording us?” I sat up from my position curled up by Cameron’s side.
“Because. To celebrate one year, I wanted to say, you are the best thing to ever happen to us. Well, to them. The best thing to happen to me was meeting Sarah.” I rolled my eyes at his stupid one night stand. “We’ve released our second album and to say a thank you, Sam! Danny! James! Get your asses out here mates!” the three of them walked out , Sam carrying a cake and James and Danny holding a bottle of champagne in hand.
The cake said congratulations.
“I don’t understand-” I sat up and began shaking my head. Congratulations for what? This is making no sense. I shook my head and closed my eyes, turning away from the couch. I hate being confused, being lost.
“Jillian, open your eyes. turn around.” I shook my head again. Someone grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. “Open your eyes.” I did as told, but saw nothing on the couch.
“The fu-” someone cleared their throat and I looked down, only to gasp and back up a few feet. Cameron smile at me from his stance, on one knee with a box in his hands-
I stop the video and turned the video off. I threw the iPod to the floor and bit my tongue to hold back the tears. I put a hand over my mouth and backed up until the back of my legs hit the bed.
March 16th.
0316
0 3 / 1 6
The day I was engaged.
The sun began rising in less than thirty minutes as we neared an apartment complex. I had an uneasy feeling all morning since I saw that video. It had nothing to do with Kayla’s death threat stares. It had nothing to do with Levi’s apologies and it had nothing to do with me promising to make it up to Levi.
It simply had to do with the fact, the closer we came to the apartment complex, the more unease my stomach felt and the more I knew something good was not going to happen once inside that apartment door.
The other part was knowing that somewhere in San Diego is Tony Perry. The thought sends shivers up my arms, although it’s fairly 75 degrees out this morning. The fact that I know he’s somewhere but yet not knowing his exact location frustrates me.
Knowing that Cameron is somewhere, but not knowing his exact location confuses me. I should know where my own-
“Here.” I looked to my right and saw Levi standing with the car door open and my bag in hand. I looked at the car dashboard. Six A.M on the dot.
I got out, letting my feet hit the concrete and took my bag from Levi. Kayla sped off after I grabbed my guitar from the backseat. Parked in front of the complex was two tour buses. Being that they are so huge, anyone on the first or second floor probably has a view of the front lounge of each bus.
For once, I feel like I’m not ready for tour. I’m not ready to see the rest of my band I neglected. It may have seemed easy getting Levi to let me in again, the rest may not cave in so easily.
Especially Jace. Especially Vince.
But if I don’t do it now, who will? If I were to bail right now, who would fill in guitar. Who would be the mother figure to Vince, who would be the leader of the band?
I had responsibilities that I neglected as band creator, guitar player, and a motherly figure and it was time that I change my ways. Nothing’s holding me down anymore, nothing’s in my way. I’m clean now and this is my clean slate.
I marched onto the bus with a high held head and set my stuff on the middle bunk, marching out and into the open apartment door. Once inside I froze.
I have never really met the band before except Vic because I don’t like post-hardcore music. But hearing Vic’s lyrics told me I had to tour with them. Seeing them in person instead of hearing them on record is like a dream.
While Vic stood off to the side talking to one of my band members, Samantha, I took the time to study the features of the man not too far from him.
The first thing that got me was the similar nose features between the two men. Next thing to startled me was the similarity in eye shape. Especially if they both squinted.
“Hey Fuentes!” a voice shouted. Both heads turned to the alleged caller, brown eyes piercing through the air. “Where’s Perry?” It dawned on me that they were related.
A hand was placed on my shoulder, startling me bit. I turned around to come face to face, prepared for it to be someone in my band when the familiar eyes stare back at me as it did hours earlier.
“Jillian?” I groaned and slap a hand over my face.
Notes
#sweetjesusthissucked
I've been out for so long, it took me a while to figure out where I want this story to go. But I think I have it all in place, for now.
I really really like this so far omg
2/26/14