Memorial

Oliver Sykes.

My sanity was wearing thin. My heart was breaking, my mind was constantly thinking about would of beens and all I ever seem to do is weep like a baby. The only thing I can do to ease the pain is to drink until I pass out, I so badly want to take something more powerful than alcohol but Casey would be so disappointed in me.

No one will speak to me like a normal human being, everyone just wants to "make me feel better" but the truth is, there is nothing they can do. If they can't bring her back then I don't want to hear it. I just want her back so badly. Everything in this flat reminds me of her, even though she didn't live here; the last week of her life she was over a lot. My bed covers smell like her and it's sickening.

Lee came over earlier but I passed out and he must've left. The fact he bothered to come see me is great, really touching actually but when I woke up he was gone and there was this letter upon my chest. It didn't take me long to work out who it was from. Casey.

Dear Oliver,

This is probably going to be one of the hardest things I ever have to do, especially after how difficult our past has been in the run up to our recent schenanegans but I digress; I just don't know how I let it get this bad. The truth is, I don't love you anymore. I haven't for a long time actually. Everything was a mistake here and I'm sorry for that I was too much of a coward to tell you the truth. Our marriage is the biggest mistake of all, it shouldn't have happened and you were foolish to think I could actually marry you.

You are a special man, a guy I never thought I'd have this connection with but we did nonetheless. Our memories were special to me but the real ending isn't good. I can't be with you if I feel like this, yes you make me somewhat happy Oli but it's not love I feel for you anymore; it's nothing more than platonic friendship. I know this is hard to hear but the truth hurts.

I'm going away Oli. I'm leaving all this behind and starting over, it's what we both need. Seeing you will only be a simple reminder that I broke your heart and you seeing me will only be a constant aching that I selfishly ripped your heart out so quickly after you finally gave it to me.

This is nothing personal though. Feelings just fade away and life goes on, I can't change that. I understand if you hate me right now but one day I hope you can understand my feelings, until then; goodluck.

Casey.

I stared at the letter in awe. She was going to leave me? This can't be true can it? She didn't love me. I put the letter down on the table and felt the tears begin to form in my eyes. My breath hitched in my throat and my head began thumping terribly hard.

My phone began ringing, I reached over to it and answered. "Hello" I said, clearing my throat.

"Oli how are you, I heard about Casey" I heard a female voice say softly. I pulled my phone back and seen the name Lisa.

"I'm fine" I mumbled.

"Honestly, there is something I need to tell you, about Casey. Can I come over?" She asked. I sighed, what does she want?

"Fine, be quick. I have stuff to do" I mumbled the hung up the phone.

After some amount of encouragemnet I went in a shower and got dressed. A loud knock on the door brought me back to reality. I walked over to it and opened it to find Lisa standing on the other side. "How are you?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes and let her in. "What did you want to talk about Lisa?" I sighed, closing the door.

"Casey met up with my while you were away" She said softly. "We had a chat".

"And?" I shrugged.

"She was going to leave you Oli. She wanted to go away and she needed my help. She asked me to help you get through it, knowing that I'm the only other girl that made you happy, that's all she ever wanted" Lisa smiled sympathetically.

She what? Casey actually did this? "Why would Casey do this?" I asked in confusion.

She walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder. "She didn't love you anymore Oli" She whispered. I furrowed my eyebrows and sighed.

"Why would she even trust you" I said rubbing my eyes. Why would Casey lie about this? It's not like she can deny it though, she's dead now.

"She wanted your happiness so she pushed past her pride and did what was best for you..." She stepped closer to me. "And what's best for you right now, is me" She whispered. She leaned in and kissed me. I pushed back and shock my head.

"This is mental" I mumbled.

She kissed me again. "No, it's what she wanted Oli. Honour that" She smirked at me. I leaned in and kissed her quickly then led her into my bedroom. The first time I had been in there for the past two days.

Notes