Crooked Young
A Loss For Words
KARINA’S POV
Slamming my locker shut, I stared mindlessly at the dial as I caught my breathe. I was still in shock about the night before and, to make matters more difficult, I hadn’t seen Tony since. I was scared in case, when the time came that we’d see one another, it’d be awkward. I imagined him thinking about my body, and all the imperfections, and all the weird faces I probably made.
"You look like you’ve seen a ghost," said Elise, knocking her knuckle against my locker to grab my attention. I shook my head, taking a step back and running my hand through my hair,
"Just didn’t get much sleep last night," I lied, giving her a false smile. I wanted to tell her, but I was petrified. She was so experienced in comparison: I was terrified of her telling me I did something wrong.
"Well that’s bullshit," she scoffed, rubbing her had across her perfect skin. "Now, tell me what’s really going on."
Grabbing on to my bag strap, I took a deep breathe as I looked her dead on. I was hoping she would guess, or could just tell somehow, but she just stared at me expectantly. “Last night,” I began, but soon realised I was in a crowded public place and so decided to take a step forward before trying again. “Last night, me and Tony… y’know… did it.”
Elise’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. She squealed, sprinting on the spot as she roughly grabbed my shoulders. “Kat!” She whispered. “Did you like it? He didn’t pressure you into anything, did he?”
"No," I said shyly, feeling insanely embarrassed. "What if, like, he didn’t find my body attractive though? I mean, okay, I guess he must when I have clothes on but it’s different without. Clothes conceal things."
Elise gave me a sympathetic smile, which was soon replaced with a smirk. “Oh, I think he likes your body.”
"What?" I asked, confused by her suggestive tone.
"I can see him now, doing his little bad boy walk with Mike, and I can 100% assure you that his eyes are firmly placed on you."
I would’ve told Elise to shut up, but lying was not something she did frequently, so I instead looked down at the ground. Knowing that he was watching put me under pressure, and I began to wonder the most ridiculous of things. Am I standing weird? What is a sexier way to stand? Oh God, what if I have toilet roll stuck to my shoe or something?
"Hello beautiful," said the man himself, hands resting on my hips. I spun around on the spot, pushing the idea of awkwardness aside, and gave him a quick kiss.
"He was obviously talking to me,” Elise joked, waving her phone about in a sassy manor. We all laughed, and then I kissed Tony again. I couldn’t get enough. "You two look rather caught up, so I’m gonna head," Elise said with an amused expression, "see you, Kat."
Once I said bye to Elise, I sunk into Tony. I was so relieved that it wasn’t awkward, that he wasn’t distant. He seemed as happy as I was - the corners of his lips pinned high up, and a constant shine in his eyes.
"So, I was wondering if you’d like to come over to mine tonight? I’m cooking dinner."
"Oh," I smiled, placing my hands on his chest. "You cook, you play guitar, you skateboard, you commit crimes, you bullshit your way through school, you drive and you can recite all the dialogue from Star Wars movies off by heart. Is there anything you don’t do?”
Tony shrugged, gently turning me and guiding my back towards the lockers. “I’m really shit at Sudoku?”
Giggling, I wrapped my arms around his neck, “I’m sure I can handle that.”
TONY’S POV
Staring down at one of my mum’s cookbooks, then at the ingredients I’d purchased at the store, then back at the cookbook, I let out a groan of frustration. I wanted to cook Karina something nice, so I’d went all out and decided to try something pretty ambitious, but it was proving pretty difficult.
As I went to pick up the tub of cream, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out to see a text from Meg. After I found her crying for a second time, we exchanged numbers under the promise that she could text me whenever she was feeling low and I'd try to make her feel better.
From: Meg
Hey, are you busy?
Biting my nail, I replied telling her that I was, but also asked what the matter was. She replied almost instantly.
From: Meg
oh, okay. It’s nothing really. I just feel kinda lonely.
I felt bad for her but, at the same time, I wasn’t going to ditch my girlfriend - one of the most important people in my life - for someone who I wasn’t all that close with. The problem, though, was that she was close with me. She told me everything.
To: Meg
Why don’t you try Elise or Karina?
From: Meg
They just don’t know me like you do I guess. You’re always really good at cheering me up
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I glanced at the cookbook as my thumbs danced over the keyboard. I had no idea what to say.
To: Meg
I am really really sorry, but I have to go right now. If you're still feeling bad later, call me if you want. Seeya
Shoving my phone back in my pocket, I set to work on the recipe that was displayed before me. Unfortunately, I had no idea what certain instructions were asking me to do, so I had to call my mum down for help.
"Roll out means roll out, Turtle," my mum said as if I was silly, putting flour on the rolling pin before running it across the pastry dough.
"Well I didn't want to make a mistake," I told her, watching closely as I peeled carrots.
"I still can't believe you paid for all of this wonderful food by yourself. You really like this girl, don't you?"
I nodded shyly, feeling my cheeks heat up. I'd never had a real girlfriend before, and I'd certainly never spoken to my mum about girls before.
"She is very pretty," my mum noted, rolling more vigorously now. "And you seem to have settled down a bit since you two started dating."
"She keeps me on track, but she doesn't try to change me or anything."
"Well that's disappointing," my mum joked, putting the rolling pin aside. "Anything else you need help with?"
"Uh," I scratched the back of my neck, "no, I think I'm okay."
"Alright, we'll I'm going back to bed," she said, giving me a big, sloppy, motherly kiss on the cheek. I wiped it off with the back of my hand, chucking as I tended to the cooking vegetables.
What seemed like minutes later, I was nearly finished preparing everything. I heard the door go and shouted for Lucia to open it, knowing all too well how much she adored Karina. I could hear the girls talking - laughs and giggles coming from the hallway. I could just picture how perfect Karina looked, and how much my sister's eyes would've widened when she opened the door. I guess Karina had a way with all the Perrys.
Opening the oven, I bent down and lifted the pie up, instantly screeching at the top of my lungs and tossing it back in.
"Tony!" Karina yelled, rushing towards me. I darted to the sink, hissing as I turned the faucet on and put my hands under the cold water.
"Fuck," I whispered, looking at my red, sizzling skin.
Taking a dishcloth, Karina lifted the pie out of the oven and set it down on the cooling tray. I watched the water drain through the gaps between my fingers as I heard her setting the table.
"I'm going to buy you oven mittens," she chuckled, kissing my cheek as she rubbed my back. "Let me see your hands."
Slipping under my arm, she placed herself between me and the sink - gently taking my hands in hers and examining them. She pressed the spots which were most red and I winced, letting out little groans.
"That's gonna blister bad," she sighed, turning off the faucet and grabbing a towel to dry my hands with. I let her dab them dry before kissing her head, mumbling a quiet "thank you" at the same time.
Thankfully, the pie survived my stupidity. I took out two plates and served everything up - feeling quite proud of how the vegetables had turned out and how the consistency of the coleslaw was.
"Okay," I said, taking my seat nervously. Karina laughed with a nonchalant smile, plopping down across the table and eying up the meal. The more she stared, the worse I felt. I lifted my knife and fork, reluctantly breaking the golden pastry of the pie. I hope this tastes okay...
"Tone," Karina said with emphasis, "what the fuck?"
Ignoring the food on the end of my fork, I let my mouth drop open as I stared at her. Oh crap, she doesn't like it... Did I not cook it for long enough? Did I forget an ingredient?
"I can't believe my boyfriend is a Michelin stars chef," she smiled, taking another large bit.
Nearly falling off my chair with relief, I let out a thankful sigh and dug in. I didn't think it was as good as she made it out to be, but it also didn't taste like garbage, so I was happy. We finished the meal in a comfortable silence, enjoying the sunset that was barely visible out of the window between bites. I kept thinking about how much I liked it when she called me her boyfriend, and how pretty her eyes were when they caught the warm glow of the sun.
I wished that I could've spend every moment like that, but I couldn't. I couldn't grasp on to those moments like I wanted to. I couldn't put them in a box and keep them forever. Life was a roller coaster and, back then, mine was going particularly fast.
Slamming my locker shut, I stared mindlessly at the dial as I caught my breathe. I was still in shock about the night before and, to make matters more difficult, I hadn’t seen Tony since. I was scared in case, when the time came that we’d see one another, it’d be awkward. I imagined him thinking about my body, and all the imperfections, and all the weird faces I probably made.
"You look like you’ve seen a ghost," said Elise, knocking her knuckle against my locker to grab my attention. I shook my head, taking a step back and running my hand through my hair,
"Just didn’t get much sleep last night," I lied, giving her a false smile. I wanted to tell her, but I was petrified. She was so experienced in comparison: I was terrified of her telling me I did something wrong.
"Well that’s bullshit," she scoffed, rubbing her had across her perfect skin. "Now, tell me what’s really going on."
Grabbing on to my bag strap, I took a deep breathe as I looked her dead on. I was hoping she would guess, or could just tell somehow, but she just stared at me expectantly. “Last night,” I began, but soon realised I was in a crowded public place and so decided to take a step forward before trying again. “Last night, me and Tony… y’know… did it.”
Elise’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. She squealed, sprinting on the spot as she roughly grabbed my shoulders. “Kat!” She whispered. “Did you like it? He didn’t pressure you into anything, did he?”
"No," I said shyly, feeling insanely embarrassed. "What if, like, he didn’t find my body attractive though? I mean, okay, I guess he must when I have clothes on but it’s different without. Clothes conceal things."
Elise gave me a sympathetic smile, which was soon replaced with a smirk. “Oh, I think he likes your body.”
"What?" I asked, confused by her suggestive tone.
"I can see him now, doing his little bad boy walk with Mike, and I can 100% assure you that his eyes are firmly placed on you."
I would’ve told Elise to shut up, but lying was not something she did frequently, so I instead looked down at the ground. Knowing that he was watching put me under pressure, and I began to wonder the most ridiculous of things. Am I standing weird? What is a sexier way to stand? Oh God, what if I have toilet roll stuck to my shoe or something?
"Hello beautiful," said the man himself, hands resting on my hips. I spun around on the spot, pushing the idea of awkwardness aside, and gave him a quick kiss.
"He was obviously talking to me,” Elise joked, waving her phone about in a sassy manor. We all laughed, and then I kissed Tony again. I couldn’t get enough. "You two look rather caught up, so I’m gonna head," Elise said with an amused expression, "see you, Kat."
Once I said bye to Elise, I sunk into Tony. I was so relieved that it wasn’t awkward, that he wasn’t distant. He seemed as happy as I was - the corners of his lips pinned high up, and a constant shine in his eyes.
"So, I was wondering if you’d like to come over to mine tonight? I’m cooking dinner."
"Oh," I smiled, placing my hands on his chest. "You cook, you play guitar, you skateboard, you commit crimes, you bullshit your way through school, you drive and you can recite all the dialogue from Star Wars movies off by heart. Is there anything you don’t do?”
Tony shrugged, gently turning me and guiding my back towards the lockers. “I’m really shit at Sudoku?”
Giggling, I wrapped my arms around his neck, “I’m sure I can handle that.”
TONY’S POV
Staring down at one of my mum’s cookbooks, then at the ingredients I’d purchased at the store, then back at the cookbook, I let out a groan of frustration. I wanted to cook Karina something nice, so I’d went all out and decided to try something pretty ambitious, but it was proving pretty difficult.
As I went to pick up the tub of cream, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out to see a text from Meg. After I found her crying for a second time, we exchanged numbers under the promise that she could text me whenever she was feeling low and I'd try to make her feel better.
From: Meg
Hey, are you busy?
Biting my nail, I replied telling her that I was, but also asked what the matter was. She replied almost instantly.
From: Meg
oh, okay. It’s nothing really. I just feel kinda lonely.
I felt bad for her but, at the same time, I wasn’t going to ditch my girlfriend - one of the most important people in my life - for someone who I wasn’t all that close with. The problem, though, was that she was close with me. She told me everything.
To: Meg
Why don’t you try Elise or Karina?
From: Meg
They just don’t know me like you do I guess. You’re always really good at cheering me up
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I glanced at the cookbook as my thumbs danced over the keyboard. I had no idea what to say.
To: Meg
I am really really sorry, but I have to go right now. If you're still feeling bad later, call me if you want. Seeya
Shoving my phone back in my pocket, I set to work on the recipe that was displayed before me. Unfortunately, I had no idea what certain instructions were asking me to do, so I had to call my mum down for help.
"Roll out means roll out, Turtle," my mum said as if I was silly, putting flour on the rolling pin before running it across the pastry dough.
"Well I didn't want to make a mistake," I told her, watching closely as I peeled carrots.
"I still can't believe you paid for all of this wonderful food by yourself. You really like this girl, don't you?"
I nodded shyly, feeling my cheeks heat up. I'd never had a real girlfriend before, and I'd certainly never spoken to my mum about girls before.
"She is very pretty," my mum noted, rolling more vigorously now. "And you seem to have settled down a bit since you two started dating."
"She keeps me on track, but she doesn't try to change me or anything."
"Well that's disappointing," my mum joked, putting the rolling pin aside. "Anything else you need help with?"
"Uh," I scratched the back of my neck, "no, I think I'm okay."
"Alright, we'll I'm going back to bed," she said, giving me a big, sloppy, motherly kiss on the cheek. I wiped it off with the back of my hand, chucking as I tended to the cooking vegetables.
What seemed like minutes later, I was nearly finished preparing everything. I heard the door go and shouted for Lucia to open it, knowing all too well how much she adored Karina. I could hear the girls talking - laughs and giggles coming from the hallway. I could just picture how perfect Karina looked, and how much my sister's eyes would've widened when she opened the door. I guess Karina had a way with all the Perrys.
Opening the oven, I bent down and lifted the pie up, instantly screeching at the top of my lungs and tossing it back in.
"Tony!" Karina yelled, rushing towards me. I darted to the sink, hissing as I turned the faucet on and put my hands under the cold water.
"Fuck," I whispered, looking at my red, sizzling skin.
Taking a dishcloth, Karina lifted the pie out of the oven and set it down on the cooling tray. I watched the water drain through the gaps between my fingers as I heard her setting the table.
"I'm going to buy you oven mittens," she chuckled, kissing my cheek as she rubbed my back. "Let me see your hands."
Slipping under my arm, she placed herself between me and the sink - gently taking my hands in hers and examining them. She pressed the spots which were most red and I winced, letting out little groans.
"That's gonna blister bad," she sighed, turning off the faucet and grabbing a towel to dry my hands with. I let her dab them dry before kissing her head, mumbling a quiet "thank you" at the same time.
Thankfully, the pie survived my stupidity. I took out two plates and served everything up - feeling quite proud of how the vegetables had turned out and how the consistency of the coleslaw was.
"Okay," I said, taking my seat nervously. Karina laughed with a nonchalant smile, plopping down across the table and eying up the meal. The more she stared, the worse I felt. I lifted my knife and fork, reluctantly breaking the golden pastry of the pie. I hope this tastes okay...
"Tone," Karina said with emphasis, "what the fuck?"
Ignoring the food on the end of my fork, I let my mouth drop open as I stared at her. Oh crap, she doesn't like it... Did I not cook it for long enough? Did I forget an ingredient?
"I can't believe my boyfriend is a Michelin stars chef," she smiled, taking another large bit.
Nearly falling off my chair with relief, I let out a thankful sigh and dug in. I didn't think it was as good as she made it out to be, but it also didn't taste like garbage, so I was happy. We finished the meal in a comfortable silence, enjoying the sunset that was barely visible out of the window between bites. I kept thinking about how much I liked it when she called me her boyfriend, and how pretty her eyes were when they caught the warm glow of the sun.
I wished that I could've spend every moment like that, but I couldn't. I couldn't grasp on to those moments like I wanted to. I couldn't put them in a box and keep them forever. Life was a roller coaster and, back then, mine was going particularly fast.
Notes
I'M BACK MOTHERFUCKERS.
I KNOW THIS CHAPTER SUCKS BUT IM UPDATING IN THE NEXT FEW HOURS/ IN THE NEXT DAY OKAY IM REALLY SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING LIKE THAT. SHIT GOT WEIRD.
i really, really love you all! how is everyone? <3
OMFG <3
7/6/15