A friend of a friend, these strangers at the party never paid
*beths pov* *flashback*
“hey Dan” I whispered, me and Dan were the only ones awake, everyone decided to stop at Harrys as we were already here anyway and I think everyone wanted to make sure I didn’t pass out again or something.
“hey Beth” he sounded so down, I’ve not seen him this down since the last time his dad walked out, usually he’s only gone a week tops, but he still thinks he’s not going to come home again.
“You’re not, what’s up?”
“Which means everything’s on your mind”
“You don’t need my problems Beth; you have your own things to deal with”
“Dan, you are one of my closest friends, I want to help you whenever I can okay? So what’s happened, is it your dad again?”
“No, for once it’s not him”
“Then who is it? Is it Lucy?”
“No, we are fine”
“Then who is it?” I’ve figured out, if you want to find things out about Dan, you have to be persistent, and you can’t show how angry it makes you when you try and squeeze it out of him
“I don’t even know where to start, it’s complicated”
“We have all night, take your time”
“It was about earlier”
“What happened earlier?”’
“I think you know what Beth” that’s when it clicked. Dan’s all worked up about me, why is he bothering about me though? I'm nothing special?
“There’s not need to tear yourself up over me Dan, I'm not worth it”
“You could have told me, or talked to me about it. You know I'm always there for you”
“You have your own problems and demons to face. You even take on Lucy’s when she’s down; you don’t need anyone else’s problems”
“At least tell me why?”
Three years ago, my mum got into some trouble, that’s when I started harming myself. The first memory makes my eyes sting with tears, I hate crying, even in the dark when he wouldn’t be able to tell, and I kept it all in
“When the stuff with my mum kicked off” only really Harriet and Dan know most of the story, the rest just knew some stuff kicked off, they never really pried which I respect. If I don’t want to tell them something I won’t.
“All that time and I never knew, I feel like such a bad friend”
I shuffled closer to Dan, I don’t know how I knew he was crying I just knew, and I stood up and offered him my hand. He followed me with shaky footsteps to the back door, opening it to the early hours of the day. I sat down on one of the steps, looking forward to be the sun would rise in only a couple hours. The fresh air helping Dan calm down and I clear my head.
“You weren’t to know. It was my way of dealing with hard times-still is”
“But that’s not how you should deal with it Beth, you know this.”
“You’ve never done it, have you?”
He shook his head
“You wouldn’t understand”
“I could try”
“It makes you feel real”
I looked over, he looked like hell. His eyes had huge dark circles underneath, and his eyes bed and bloodshot, he seemed pale too. He looked confused so I tried to elaborate for him.
“Have you ever felt like everything is moving so fast but everything is moving slowly for you?”
“I guess, sometimes”
“You kind of feel like you don’t exist”
“Well it made me feel real, like seeing I was alive and I was still here. Seeing my own blood drip down the side of my leg, the warm on my skin, it made me feel alive. When everything kicked off with my mum, I felt almost non-excitant, like I wasn’t there. In a daze, doing normal everyday things till it was the weekend when I would see my friends and go to bed late. Every day folded into one huge week-long day. Doing that made me feel like I was a part of the world again. I don’t really think you would ever understand unless you have ever done it, and if I ever find out you do, I will be making you bleed. Okay?”
I hadn’t realized Dan was now sat next to me; he wrapped an arm around my shoulders so I was giving him a sideways hug. I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes. I opened them again to see Dan wiping my face with his cold fingers. I didn’t even realize I had been crying. I looked up to his blue-green eyes, giving him a sad smile before placing my head on his shoulder.
“Thank you” I heard him whisper
“Telling me, I can only guess how hard it is to tell someone something like that, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry in my life.”
I giggled slightly
“Thank you for listening and trying to understand”
“I didn’t do anything”
“But being a shoulder to cry on and someone why won’t give advice because they can’t, I am great full I have someone to talk to if I need you means more than some mechanical advice. You do know I am ALWAYS here for you too, if something kicks off back at your house, come and stay at mine, you can’t go to Lucy’s so come to mine okay.”
“Thank you Beth, you mean a lot to me and I hate to see you like this”
this is really short and lots of dialogue but it gives you an insight to her past.
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hope you have a good weekend, expects some updates and i love you lots ^.^