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The pregnancy story

all this asphyxiated, self medicated, take the white pill youll fell alright

I smile at the shiny blade remembering the last time I used it.
*flash back*
I run to my room sick of oli, the bruises became to much to hide and the pain is over taking me. I reach under my bed taking out my bottle of vodka, anxiety pills and my blade. I chuck everything on my bed grabbing the vodka chugging it half way and stuffing the pills down my throat and drinking the rest of the hot liquid, burning the back of my throat. I take my blade slicing up and down my arms, deeper and deeper. I cry tell I start hyperventilating. my chest goes in and out in frustration and anger. I pick the empty bottle up throwing it against my mirror shattering both objects. I take out my phone to call chris. he picks up on the 3rd ring.
"hey, I need to tell you something" I sniffle, my breath shaky.
"whats wrong? why are you crying?" he asks worried.
"i love you." I hang up the phone, turning it off so I don't have to lesson to the ringing when he tries to call me back. I tuck myself in for a long peaceful sleep.
*end flash back*
I glide the cold blade along my scared wrist.
"1.2.3" I count out loud. feeling relief. -knock knock-
"fuck." I drop my blade and blood splatters on the ground,my heart skips a beat.
"are you okay?" ricky says from behind the door.
"y-y-yea." I stutter, the door handle jiggles.
"lana open the door." he says in a worried tone.
"ah... hold up."
"no now." he unlocks the door. 'oh shit oh shit.' my body starts shaking.
"oh.my.god." he gasps.
"shh...." I cover his mouth with my none bloody hand.
"why?" is all he managed to say. his tear threatened to spill.
"don't tell chris okay." he looked at my in disbelief.
"I-I-I have to." I turn the hot shower on.
"no you don't and you cant. he'll hate me."
"and he'll hate me if I didn't tell him his baby sister is hurting herself again." I sigh.
"you'll just make it worse." he shook his head.
"i don't understand."
"just tell chris i'll be down in a bit." he stares at his feet.
"why?"
"just go." I point out the door and quickly closes it behind him. I take off my clothes and jumo into the blazing shower.
-------------------------------------------
I walk down the stairs to see what chris wanted earlier.
"hey yall." I say with a cheery smile. chris runs up to me picking me off the ground and spinning me around. he put me down with the biggest smile I have ever seen on his face.
"good fucking news." he says as he grabs one of the many bottles of Champaign of the table.
"what?" I ask looking around at everyone except ricky. balz gets up looking fairly drunk.
"we got signed baby!" all the boys yell and cheer occluding me.
"where gonna go on tour with asking Alexandria in two months!" my cheering stops. 'hes leaving me? no no no no.'
"whats wrong?" chris questions. "your crying." I laugh trying to play it off.
"because im so proud of you!" I give him a hug.
"lets go somewhere fancy so I can wear my suit." he ran upstairs.
"im so happy for yall." there faces went serious.
"am I missing something."
"when you were hugging chris your sleeves went up and...." devins voice trailed off and my face went red.
"don't you fucking tell him or he wont go." I said seriously in a whisper. "now lets go have chris' fancy dinner." I walk upstairs. putting my hair in a top knot bun, throwing off my sweater and shorts, putting on a black sparkly long sleeve dress. I punt on a coat of foundation and a thick winged eyeliner with lots of mascara. I put on black heels.( http://www.polyvore.com/dinner/set?id=119628801 ) I walk out the room the sametime chris does. hes wearing a gray suit with a black tie, his hair slicked back behind his ears and some black eyeshadow.
"looking sharp." I say putting my arm threw his.
"and you look beautiful."
" I know." I say flipping my hair playfully.
"shut up." he laughs a nudges me. we walk down the stairs feeling tention in the air as we see everyone else dressed classy.
"ho wocme everyone looks so sad." chris pouts. I raise my eyebrow at tham as to say 'tell him ill kill you.'
"no ones sad motionless." ricky lies threw his teeth.
"okay lets go."
---------------------------------
we walk in, everyone dressed so nice and classy and even tho we were dressed the same the boys still stuck out like fish out of water.
"okay your waiter will be with you in a minute." the fake blonde waitress say with a equally as fake smile.
"so how come you didn't invite kellin?" chris ask looking at his menu.
"we broke up." balz chuckled.
"doesn't surprise me."
"shut up balz, why?" devin ask.
"he cheated on me with some slut." I say plainly. rage spits out his water in a fit of laughter. chris laughs along with him.
"i don't think its funny..." my voice trailed off.
"im sorry, youll find someone better." chris apologize.
"that's what you said the last time." I say picking up a menu and everyone wen silent. im good at creating awkward moments . well I guess your wondering about oli, last year when I was a sophomore. me and him were dating until a month in he started telling me what to do and when to do it, then it went down hill from there, to tugging on my arm, grabbing me hardly, shoving, and then 5 months into the relationship he pulled my hair and hit me on the arm which later escalated to my face. he broke my rib once. then after my suicide attempt I tried to brake up with him and he beat me so bad he broke my arm, collar bone, nose and fractured my left wrist when he stomped on it because of my ugly scars like he said. after he was done he said 'I don't want to be with an ugly bitch anyways.' I was in the hospital for 14 days which I was questioned by the police but I didn't say anything and in that time chris never left my side along with alan of course. when I got out I dealt with the pain and memories in a bad way, chris as protective as he is threw away all my blades, so I drank my pain away day after day chris had to watch me drink myself away, and the medicine I was taking for my arm and ribs didn't mix well with the alcohol. one day I took my medication with alcohol and got alcohol poising and went to rehab for the whole summer. Brandon couched.
"that's not appropriate right now." chris stated.
"yea and when is."
"not now." he said in a sterner voice.
"whatever." I got up from the table and walked out hearing my name being call. once I got out of the restaurant I ran as fast and as long as my feet could carry me tell I reached a park and sat on the swing thinking. I needed somewhere to go, anywhere. I pulled out my phone and called him.
"hey can I comeover?"

Notes

here yall!!! updated just because of that comment:*
tittle credit: im not your boyfriend baby: 3oh!3

Comments

I love it c:

Alleigh Byrd Alleigh Byrd
7/26/15

Sooooo good XD

Update XD

O.O Please updateee c:

Alleigh Byrd Alleigh Byrd
7/26/15

Please update again soon

lostintheecho lostintheecho
1/19/15