Kissing in cars

*Vic's POV*
I woke up with Stacey laying exactly the way she fell asleep early hours of the morning. She was stupidly beautiful. I knew she wasn't the right age, but there's no such thing as too young, right? I mean, Mike seemed to be getting along with Beth just fine, so why couldn't I?
I stared at her, tickling her arms as she swayed back, laying her arm on the pillow the opposite side of her. I looked, completely shocked at the red lines which marked her sensitive and fragile skin. How could someone so delicate do this to themselves? We needed a serious talk as soon as she woke up.

*Stacey's POV*

I woke up to an empty bed. This certainly wasn't my bed from home. And it definitely wasn't my bunk from the bus.
I tangled my hands in the fairy lights spread across the roof, remembering that I spent the night in Vic's bed, along with Vic. But he left.
What if he seen? I could feel myself beginning to panic, my anxiety rising quickly. I had to get out of this small space.

I seen Vic's mulitcoloured jumper I've seen him wear plenty of times on tour. I fit myself inside the huge fabric and smiled, it smelled just like Vic.
I crawled down the ladder, unfortunately for me and my lack of co-ordination, I missed a step and fell down, suddenly getting caught in big strong arms.
They were definitely not Vic's hands, these were covered in tattoos.
"Aren't you a lucky girl?" I heard a shy and awkward voice. I knew it was Tony straight away.
He set me down and patted me on my head and smiled. That smile was insane. Woah.
I stared closer, noticing little details apart from his amazing smile and dermal. He has a small nose, and deep eyes which I couldn't help but stare at.
"Hello?" I seen a hand wave in front of me.
"O.. Oh yeah sorry um, thanks Tone!" I smiled, giving him a quick and shy hug and walked out to the kitchen. It was at least 11am, I couldn't believe I was awake so early. I usually stay in bed until 3pm. I know I know, lazy.

"Me, you, talk, my bunk, now." Vic's hand grabbed mine and dragged me, he was carrying a plate of bacon so I didn't oblige. He had a stern look on his face, as if he was about to either burst into tears or possibly hit me.
He climbed into his bunk, then heaving me up as well.
"Show me your wrists." Vic said sternly.
"W..why?" I could feel myself starting to cry.
"Stacey, show me your wrists." I burst into tears, hiding my face with the large hoodie.
Vic softened his tone, he knew how sensitive I was.
"Why Stace? You're a beautiful girl, you're lovely, I don't know a bad thing to say about you! Why?" He looked at me with soft eyes as i removed my arms and rolled up my sleeves, showing him my right arm lined with white and red.
"Anxiety. Depression. Bipolar.. Do you want me to go on?" I said between sniffles.
"Come here." Vic grabbed me into a huge hug, letting me burst my eyes onto his shoulder.
"Shhh, shh come on now, lie down." He made me lie next to him, as he lay down as well I felt more safe.

"No, at the top of our lungs there's no,
no such thing as too young,
second chances won't leave us alone,
then there's faith in love."

I never got to hear that one. It must be new. I fell asleep to the sound of his voice.
I woke up not much than an hour later by a loud crashing.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT" Mike came down the corridor, looking at the floor. The bus had started moving and apparently me and Vic forgot all about the plate of bacon at the end of the bed. Which was now smashed on the floor.

"WAKE UP" Mike opened the curtain that covered us. "Oh you.. you two are in here.. together?" Mike smiled deviously.
"VIC AND STACEY HAD SEXY WEXY" Mike shouted for the whole bus to hear.
"YOU DID WHAT?!" I heard Beth calling. I knew she wouldn't take me losing my virginity (not that I did) well. She started shouting and saying 'you wasn't ready!" "You're too young!"
And then turned to Vic
"YOU. YOU TOOK MY BEST FRIENDS INNOCENCE YOU BAND PERSON THINGY" she was never really good at insults.
"Chill Beth, we didn't do anything! me and Vic both said together.
Beth would know if I did, she knows I would tell her. She looked at me with a questioning glance while I shook my head.
She knew not to say anything else from there.

"Where are we?" I sat up in the bunk, turning to look at Vic. I didn't realise how gorgeous he looked after he just got up. His curly hair was all messed up without his beanie and his Mexican skin looked even darker.
He grabbed my legs, making me straddle him. I looked down, feeling my anxiety rise realising I didn't have any makeup on and my hair was a mess.
Vic tilted my chin up, making me look at him. We both shot smiles, not the romantic smile, or friendship. It was more intimate.
He leaned in getting closer and closer to my lips and then

"VIC, STACEY"
Tony had pulled back the curtain. Jaime was with him, laughing. Tony however, had a hint of jealousy and wasn't smiling. He gave Vic a sad look and shook his head before returning to the kitchen. Jealousy? But it can't be. It was me they're talking about now. Don't be so stupid.

I collapsed on top of Vic and laughed.
"Come on, or they'll start saying things."
Vic climbed down and made me stop at the top of the ladder. "Do you trust me?" He asked, eyes narrowing.
"Of course, why?" I shot him a questioning look.
"Jump, let me catch you." I was never afraid of heights, or people dropping me. So I practically fell on top of Vic.
To my surprise, he caught me. I was expecting him to simply drop me. We both laughed as he carried me bridal style into the sitting area. We caught the attention of everyone in the room except Tony's who was busy on his phone.
"We'll be in California in 20 minutes!" We heard our bus driver say over the microphone.
Cheers came over the group until the microphone beeped again.
"Stacey, it's your turn to start working now. Get an outfit ready for the boys before they get off
the bus ready for the fans."
"Now's your chance Stace, go get me good outfit!" Jaime winked.

I picked simple comfy outfits for the boys. I layed them all out on their bunks. Jaime had a slipknot t-shirt with black skinnies.Mike had a drop dead vest top and black 3 quarter shorts and burgundy vans, Tony had a white 'love before glory' vest with black skinnies and black van and Vic had a turqoise shirt, white shorts and green vans.
I called them all and they seemed to be happy with my choice.


I smiled. I loved this job, it was so easy! Beth wore her Bring Me The Horizon hoodie and white shorts which showed off her amazing long legs. I wore my Of Mice & Men t-shirt and black shorts with studs. It was a really hot day in Cali.

We came to a sudden stop and a wave of anxiety filled me up. Vic seen me tense up and grabbed onto my hand.
"Ready?" He smiled
"Let's go." I returned the smile, hiding behind my fear of people.

"One, two, three!" Jaime opened the door and ran out, followed by Tony. He looked so happy, this was his dream. I've never seen him smile so much at the crowd of fans, posing for pictures and signing autographs. Later then came Mike, holding hands with Beth. Beth was always so much more confident than me. She waved and smiled and took photos of Mike with the fans. She was a natural.
Then it was our turn. Vic walked slowly and then at a run, dragging me along with him. I felt my anxiety rise to it's peak. All these people, staring at me. What will they think about me and Vic? We weren't together. We only just met. They're going to start rumours.
Thousands of screams filled my ears, I trembled at the cameras flashing in my direction, trying to hide my face while shaking and not being able to move at the same time. Vic literally had to drag me into the hotel. I was shaking like a leaf. I was crying and trying to get myself to look happy.
Vic and the boys stared at me, they knew exactly what an anxiety attack was, but they still looked scared.

I stopped shaking and crying after about 45 minutes and decided to get my phone out. Pictures of me and Vic holding hands were plastered on facebook, twitter, tumblr. Everything you could think of. It was there.

@millymoobi: can you believe this slut with Vic? she's not even pretty and i'm sure those are self harm scars, what a sick twisted emo! haha

I stared at my phone in disgust. People were saying this just from holding hands with Vic.
I threw my phone at the wall in anger. Angry at myself. The boys and Beth were sat in the seating area in Mike's room. I walked in and went straight to the bathroom. I knew what I needed, and I needed it now.
I grabbed a cheap plastic shaver from the cupboard and took it apart. exposing a long thin metal blade.
I heard banging on the door. I obviously locked it.
"Stacey" I heard Vic.
"Stacey come on, what's wrong?" Tony.
I ignored them, and simply dragged the blade across my disgusting skin. It went deeper than intended and I let out a whimper. I liked the pain. It was just addicting. I done 2 more, then 5 more, then 10, then my whole right arm was plastered in red lines, dripping with my blood.
The knocks on the door began to get louder, almost sounded as if someone was breaking in. I think they were. I had no room left on my right arm. I swapped hands, blade in my right, slicing right through my left. I soon filled them both up. The bangs still getting louder.
Stomach. Full. Right leg. Now also full.
I came up to the final cut of my left leg and the door flew open. I lay on the floor in my own puddle of blood, getting ready to pass out.
Blurred vision came over me and small whispers of "Oh my god" and cries came from the door. The last thing I remember was Vic, picking me up off the ground and carrying me to a different room.

Then I blanked out.

Notes

Okay so I'm really sorry for the trigger, I did warn!

Also sorry to the person who's twitter that is, I don't mean to be nasty or anything I know you're probably nothing like that hahah

Feedback is appreciated! thank you so much to whoever reads, it means a lot!