You said it would be alright

I roll over to my side and lay on something sharp and hurriedly got up.I search for what I was on and find a thumbtack."Why the hell was there a tack on my bed?" I whisper-yell at myself.I wonder why there was a tack on my bed, I look up on the wall and see some posters not on the wall right and remember I was hanging all of my posters up and some of them got ripped up by Cookie.Damn cat.

I get up and take a shower, brush my teeth, the usual stuff I do on a daily basis and then grab my laptop.I suddenly start to feel exited for warped and just search up videos of past warped tour's.I wonder what it'll be like over there? I hope I don't embarrass myself in front of all the bands.

I log into my Facebook and just go through my feed when someone messages me.I look at the name and see it's Casey.Could she ever just leave me alone? It's been almost a year since I seen her and she still tends to send me hate messages.I ignore it.I keep on getting notifications saying I got a new message.I should just block her already, it's always annoying on how much of a stalker she is like does she have anything better to do? I don't want to block her though, she might think I'm scared of her or something- which I'm not.I decide I should just log off already and go downstairs.

I get downstairs and smell pancakes cooking.I walk into the kitchen and see little Vic standing beside the stove making pancakes humming some song I don't recognize."I never seen you as a person who can cook" I say and he puts the pancakes he was cooking a plate and turns around "well I do" he says and smiles.I smile, well not really, just forcing a bunch of muscles in my face to move.I grab my phone out of my pocket to check the time, it's only 8am.Vic must have woken up pretty early to make breakfast.

"Mike! Breakfast is ready!" Vic yells up to Mike upstairs."Okay!" Mike says sounding a little annoyed.I grab a plate out of the cabinet and pick up two pancakes with three slices of bacon and get a glass of water then go and sit down.I start eating and take out my phone.20 new notifications, I don't even have to guess who it is.I just log out of Facebook on my phone and leave my phone alone.

I finish eating and go sit down on the couch.I grab the remote and turn on the tv.I wonder what there is to watch.I flip to some random channel and a cartoon comes on.I continue watching tv until I hear Mike finally coming downstairs."Hey Mikey" I say only because that's the nickname I gave him when we were little, which he hated.I look at him and all he does is glare at me.I stifle a laugh and turn towards the tv again.I start to get bored of watching tv so I just turn the tv off and go upstairs.

Later that night I have a nightmare of someone I would rather forget.

I'm running away from someone when I trip on something I'm not sure of."You can't run forever you know!" I hear the older man behind me say and I stand up and start running again.I know I'm gonna die, he's going to catch me and do horrible things to me.I start running so hard I think I might faint.My upper thighs are burning.I feel arms slip around me and I start thrashing and screaming until I feel his hand clasp around my mouth."I will make sure you don't survive next time you try and run away you little bitch" I start quietly sobbing about my failed attempt to escape my abusive dad.He carries me back to our house and when we get back he pushes me towards the room.No no no no no! I don't want this to happen.I start trying to get free of his hold until he slaps me across the face so hard I stop trying.I feel his hands push me on the bed.I try my hardest to escape but that just makes it worse then it already is.

I wake up gasping for air and sit up properly.I take deep breaths and when I'm sort of calmed down I start crying.I was only four years old before the police found out and put me in a foster home.I never told anyone of what my father did to me, all the police knew was that he always used to hit me.I never told them anything more, only because I felt uncomfortable telling them what he did to me.

I'm crying to much I might wake Vic and Mike up.I don't want to do this but right now, it's my only option.
I quietly open my drawer and grab the little wooden box at the very far end of the bottom drawer and close it.I quickly walk towards the bathroom and shut the door.I sit on the floor and just think of how I even remember my biological father.I don't even have a good memory.I start thinking of it again and start crying harder then I already am.I grab one of my razors out of the little box and just stare at it for a long time.I shouldn't be here.I just cause trouble.The night our mom died was the night she found out about my cutting.I now have this ridiculous idea in my head that I was the reason she died.It isn't ridiculous, I was probably the whole reason everything bad happens in everybody's life, especially mine.I pull my pants off and sit down on the toilet.I start crying more quietly as to not wake anybody up and drag the steel against my upper thigh.I start going more deeper and make more cuts along my thigh.I stop after a while and start to feel light headed. I put away my razor and wash up.Just as I'm pulling up my pants it becomes to much, I try to steady my self but I end up passing out and falling on the floor.

When I wake up I'm surrounded by a pool of my own blood.I slowly sit up but then I start to get a headache so I just lay there staring at the ceiling.Somewhere in my sick mind, I wish I never woke up.
I just stare at the ceiling.Then when I get enough strength to finally get up I sit up at first so I can adjust to actually getting up.Then after a while I get up and peel off the rest of my clothes and turn on the shower then get in.

Half an hour later I finally get out of the shower.I step out of the tub and open the cabinet to get a towel.I go to take a step when I remember all that blood there and keep my foot planted on the floor.I look down and see it's still there.I take my towel off of me and grab some paper towels and start cleaning the blood off the floor.I grab some disinfection wipes and wipe the rest off.I grab my towel and wrap it on me again and go to open the door when I remember I'm forgetting something.I crouch down to grab the little wooden box and walk out the door.

I get changed and grab my phone to check what time it is.8 am, I don't even know what time I woke up last night.Last night.I don't even want to think about it.

The month goes by pretty fast.This month only consisted of hanging out with the boys while going out sometimes.I bought some new clothes for warped tour.This month was nothing special.It's already June 13, and here I am, to exited to go to sleep.It's 8 pm, and we're leaving at 2 am.I should really get to bed.I start to drift off to sleep until I start thinking about warped tour and then I get an adrenaline rush causing me to be fully awake.I know it's going to be sort of awkward but he's the only one who can get me to sleep.

I slowly walk to Vic's room and when I reach it I'm going to turn around until I make a noise.I mind as well not turn back now.I slowly open Vic's door and slowly walk towards his bed.I stand there for a bit until I get the courage to speak up."Vic?" I say and he turns around "hmm" he says looking up at me "I can't go to bed" I say sounding like a little kid.All he does is push over a little bit and lifts the blankets up so I can crawl under them.I lay down on the bed and Vic lowers the blankets down on me and wraps his arm around me."Why can't you sleep?" He asks me "I don't know, I just can't" I say, not telling him why I really can't sleep because it seems so ridiculous now.He starts humming a song I think is his and my eyes immediately start to droop bringing me into sleep.

Notes

Ok so Andy and Blake May or May not be in the next chapter.Hope you liked this one.