A Light in the Dark
Twenty Two: Dark Paradise
I was standing in the middle of an empty street, the sun high in the sky with houses lined up, side by side. They all looked the same; identical two story homes with similar paint jobs and lush green patches of grass for a front yard. The place looked familiar—too familiar, but I couldn’t quite place my finger on why it seemed recognizable. My eyes quickly glanced around and I found myself staring Emily, but she wasn’t the Emily I last remembered, but rather she looked to be about eight years old. It was then I saw that she wasn’t alone, but pushing another little girl on a pink bike. When I peered closer I could see that the little girl on the bike was me.
“You got this Effie.” I heard Emily cheer. “Just keep paddling and you’ll get the hang of it.” She added with a toothy grin on her face.
I remembered this day. It was the day Emily was teaching me how to ride a bike for the first time. I was five at the time, making Emily to be roughly eight years old. This was the first time we moved into the suburbs—back when my father had just come home from active duty. This was the only day my mother allowed Emily and I to play outside.
“I’m scared Emily!” The five year old me shouted as the handlebars of her bike began to wobble, the tassels swaying from side to side.
“Don’t worry Effie, I got you. I won’t let you fall.” I heard Emily promise as she placed her hand at the small of my back, guiding me carefully.
I nearly cried then and there. I rubbed my eyes just for a second, but when I opened them I was no longer standing in the middle of the street we used to live on. Instead, I was now standing at the edge of a pool. There were little kids running from the lounge chairs and jumping into the pool. I looked around, figuring that this must’ve been another memory of mines. I knew it was the community pool; the one Emily and I would walk to whenever it was terribly hot to stay indoors.
I saw Emily near the deep end of the pool, looking into the water with eager eyes. She looked to be around thirteen, wearing her first bikini that our mother ever bought her. Emily held her hand out to the small girl next to her—it was me. I was wearing the ridiculous one piece, tie-dye swim suit. At the time I thought it was the coolest item of clothing I owned, but I was entirely wrong.
I looked at Emily with cautious eyes, unsure if I was ready to swim in the deep end—which happened to be around 12 feet deep. When I was that age, I barely peaked over 4’2” so 12 feet was a big deal to get scared over.
“I don’t think I can do it.” I heard my ten year old self say with an embarrassed expression on her face.
Emily grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Effie, you’ll be fine. If you can’t swim then I’ll be here to help you.” Emily assured with a trusting warm smile. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you, ever.” She promised.
With that I puffed out a breath of air before we both jumped into the water, screaming like a bunch of maniacs.
I blinked and then found myself in a different place. I glanced around, taking in the fact I was nowhere near a pool or in the middle of an empty street. I was near a huge tree in the middle of what seemed to be a forest.
“Where are we going?” I heard a familiar voice ask. When I followed the sound of the voice I saw Emily and I hiking up a trail, walking towards where I stood. It was one of the last adventures I ever went on with Emily because a month later she died.
I remember this day because it was the first time Emily and I ever ditched school. She decided to take me on this little hiking trail because she wanted to sit it the big Oak tree. It had a million leaves at the moment; all of which were turning a golden color because it was nearing autumn.
“Effie, this is a spontaneous adventure. If we always knew where we’re going then it’d take the fun outta things.” Emily countered.
“Please tell me you know how to get back.” I groaned while trying to keep up with Emily.
“Of course silly. Would I ever misguide you?” She asked with a small laugh.
“No.” I answered while rolling my eyes.
“Then trust me because you’re gonna love it.” Emily remarked then began to climb up the huge Oak tree.
I—meaning my younger self—followed Emily, climbing higher and higher until I finally reached the branch Emily was already sitting on.
“Effie from this tree you can see forever.” Emily sighed looking out into the view.
“No, I can see all the way up to Shipman Park.” I regarded.
Emily shook her head. “You’re so literal sometimes. Use your creativity Effie. Look at the sky and the way the clouds dance around. Look past Shipman Park and you’ll see our future.” Emily commented, losing herself in her own words.
When I was that age I didn’t understand what she meant. I didn’t have an imagination because Emily was creative enough for the both of us.
“We’re all in a maze Effie. We just need to find our way out.” I heard Emily mumble. It was something she’d always say because Emily couldn’t wait to be on her own, living freely.
“I don’t think I’ll ever find my way out.” I whispered. I could never imagine my life being as promising as Emily’s would be.
“I’ll be with you every step of the way Eff. We’ll both tackle the maze together.” She vowed and in that moment I believed every word she said. Effie was my compass that pointed due North, she was map on this road trip, the wind within my sails, and then suddenly I felt my stomach drop.
A dreaded feeling filled up inside of me as I shut my eyes tightly. When I opened my eyes back all I could see were thousands of glass shards and the two cars in a mangled mess. This was the day I lost my map, the day my compass broke, the day when the wind no longer blew through the air. I found myself in tears when I heard my 13 year old voice cry out for help.
13 year old me was hysterically screaming “EMILY! WAKE UP, PLEASE GOD EMILY DON’T LEAVE ME!”
Even now I found myself in tears, sitting on the ground and pulling my knees to my chest. It was like I lost Emily all over again. I tried to run to the flipped over car but when I reached the garbled metal my surroundings quickly changed. I was now standing in the sand, the sound of nearby waves lapping onto shore. I looked around through tear drenched eyes and found Tony sitting in the sand with me next to him. Tony had his arm around my shoulders as I rested my head on his shoulder. I walked closer to Tony and I, trying to hear what he was saying. It was then I remembered that this was the first time I spent a day in the sunlight.
“I’m glad I met you Effie Jane.” I heard Tony murmur into my messy, brown hair.
“I’m glad I’m with you Tony Perry.” I whispered back.
“Let’s do something fun.” Tony suggested with a goofy grin on his face.
“Like what?” I asked skeptically.
“Let’s go skateboarding. You can ride with me.” He answered, still wearing the wide smile on his face.
“That sounds like I’m bound to get hurt.” I replied while shaking my head.
“Don’t worry Effie, I got you. I won’t let you fall.” He said softly while kissing my cheek.
I hadn’t realized that Tony had said the exact same thing to me that Emily said all those years ago. I felt my heart ache as a tear trailed down my cheek. I couldn’t be a hundred percent sure, but I swear meeting Tony Perry wasn’t by chance. It was then that everything went completely dark.
"Effie, keep your eyes open. Don't you dare give up, not now. Effie, stay awake. There is still so much of the world you have yet to see. Effie!
Through the darkness that engulfed me I could see a glimmer of light.
“Effie! Please wake up. Please, please wake up.” I heard someone sob while shaking my shoulders. I groaned at the sharp pain that pummeled through my brain.
My head hurt and my vision was blurry. I blinked a few times to regain my sight. When my sight came to, I found Tony staring intently at me. A small smile graced my lips as I reached out to touch his cheek.
“Oh thank God.” I heard Tony sigh in relief. When I really focused on his face I could see that his eyes had been crying. “You’re alright.” He whispered while pulling me closer to his body, wrapping his arms around me tightly.
Tony pressed his lips roughly against mines, as if it were the last kiss we’d ever share. I kissed back with the same amount of eagerness as he. My head still hurt and my arms were covered in blood that looked to be drying up.
“What happened?” I croaked out.
Tony looked at me with cautious eyes as if what he was about to say next would upset me even more than I already was.
“You got this Effie.” I heard Emily cheer. “Just keep paddling and you’ll get the hang of it.” She added with a toothy grin on her face.
I remembered this day. It was the day Emily was teaching me how to ride a bike for the first time. I was five at the time, making Emily to be roughly eight years old. This was the first time we moved into the suburbs—back when my father had just come home from active duty. This was the only day my mother allowed Emily and I to play outside.
“I’m scared Emily!” The five year old me shouted as the handlebars of her bike began to wobble, the tassels swaying from side to side.
“Don’t worry Effie, I got you. I won’t let you fall.” I heard Emily promise as she placed her hand at the small of my back, guiding me carefully.
I nearly cried then and there. I rubbed my eyes just for a second, but when I opened them I was no longer standing in the middle of the street we used to live on. Instead, I was now standing at the edge of a pool. There were little kids running from the lounge chairs and jumping into the pool. I looked around, figuring that this must’ve been another memory of mines. I knew it was the community pool; the one Emily and I would walk to whenever it was terribly hot to stay indoors.
I saw Emily near the deep end of the pool, looking into the water with eager eyes. She looked to be around thirteen, wearing her first bikini that our mother ever bought her. Emily held her hand out to the small girl next to her—it was me. I was wearing the ridiculous one piece, tie-dye swim suit. At the time I thought it was the coolest item of clothing I owned, but I was entirely wrong.
I looked at Emily with cautious eyes, unsure if I was ready to swim in the deep end—which happened to be around 12 feet deep. When I was that age, I barely peaked over 4’2” so 12 feet was a big deal to get scared over.
“I don’t think I can do it.” I heard my ten year old self say with an embarrassed expression on her face.
Emily grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Effie, you’ll be fine. If you can’t swim then I’ll be here to help you.” Emily assured with a trusting warm smile. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you, ever.” She promised.
With that I puffed out a breath of air before we both jumped into the water, screaming like a bunch of maniacs.
I blinked and then found myself in a different place. I glanced around, taking in the fact I was nowhere near a pool or in the middle of an empty street. I was near a huge tree in the middle of what seemed to be a forest.
“Where are we going?” I heard a familiar voice ask. When I followed the sound of the voice I saw Emily and I hiking up a trail, walking towards where I stood. It was one of the last adventures I ever went on with Emily because a month later she died.
I remember this day because it was the first time Emily and I ever ditched school. She decided to take me on this little hiking trail because she wanted to sit it the big Oak tree. It had a million leaves at the moment; all of which were turning a golden color because it was nearing autumn.
“Effie, this is a spontaneous adventure. If we always knew where we’re going then it’d take the fun outta things.” Emily countered.
“Please tell me you know how to get back.” I groaned while trying to keep up with Emily.
“Of course silly. Would I ever misguide you?” She asked with a small laugh.
“No.” I answered while rolling my eyes.
“Then trust me because you’re gonna love it.” Emily remarked then began to climb up the huge Oak tree.
I—meaning my younger self—followed Emily, climbing higher and higher until I finally reached the branch Emily was already sitting on.
“Effie from this tree you can see forever.” Emily sighed looking out into the view.
“No, I can see all the way up to Shipman Park.” I regarded.
Emily shook her head. “You’re so literal sometimes. Use your creativity Effie. Look at the sky and the way the clouds dance around. Look past Shipman Park and you’ll see our future.” Emily commented, losing herself in her own words.
When I was that age I didn’t understand what she meant. I didn’t have an imagination because Emily was creative enough for the both of us.
“We’re all in a maze Effie. We just need to find our way out.” I heard Emily mumble. It was something she’d always say because Emily couldn’t wait to be on her own, living freely.
“I don’t think I’ll ever find my way out.” I whispered. I could never imagine my life being as promising as Emily’s would be.
“I’ll be with you every step of the way Eff. We’ll both tackle the maze together.” She vowed and in that moment I believed every word she said. Effie was my compass that pointed due North, she was map on this road trip, the wind within my sails, and then suddenly I felt my stomach drop.
A dreaded feeling filled up inside of me as I shut my eyes tightly. When I opened my eyes back all I could see were thousands of glass shards and the two cars in a mangled mess. This was the day I lost my map, the day my compass broke, the day when the wind no longer blew through the air. I found myself in tears when I heard my 13 year old voice cry out for help.
13 year old me was hysterically screaming “EMILY! WAKE UP, PLEASE GOD EMILY DON’T LEAVE ME!”
Even now I found myself in tears, sitting on the ground and pulling my knees to my chest. It was like I lost Emily all over again. I tried to run to the flipped over car but when I reached the garbled metal my surroundings quickly changed. I was now standing in the sand, the sound of nearby waves lapping onto shore. I looked around through tear drenched eyes and found Tony sitting in the sand with me next to him. Tony had his arm around my shoulders as I rested my head on his shoulder. I walked closer to Tony and I, trying to hear what he was saying. It was then I remembered that this was the first time I spent a day in the sunlight.
“I’m glad I met you Effie Jane.” I heard Tony murmur into my messy, brown hair.
“I’m glad I’m with you Tony Perry.” I whispered back.
“Let’s do something fun.” Tony suggested with a goofy grin on his face.
“Like what?” I asked skeptically.
“Let’s go skateboarding. You can ride with me.” He answered, still wearing the wide smile on his face.
“That sounds like I’m bound to get hurt.” I replied while shaking my head.
“Don’t worry Effie, I got you. I won’t let you fall.” He said softly while kissing my cheek.
I hadn’t realized that Tony had said the exact same thing to me that Emily said all those years ago. I felt my heart ache as a tear trailed down my cheek. I couldn’t be a hundred percent sure, but I swear meeting Tony Perry wasn’t by chance. It was then that everything went completely dark.
"Effie, keep your eyes open. Don't you dare give up, not now. Effie, stay awake. There is still so much of the world you have yet to see. Effie!
Through the darkness that engulfed me I could see a glimmer of light.
“Effie! Please wake up. Please, please wake up.” I heard someone sob while shaking my shoulders. I groaned at the sharp pain that pummeled through my brain.
My head hurt and my vision was blurry. I blinked a few times to regain my sight. When my sight came to, I found Tony staring intently at me. A small smile graced my lips as I reached out to touch his cheek.
“Oh thank God.” I heard Tony sigh in relief. When I really focused on his face I could see that his eyes had been crying. “You’re alright.” He whispered while pulling me closer to his body, wrapping his arms around me tightly.
Tony pressed his lips roughly against mines, as if it were the last kiss we’d ever share. I kissed back with the same amount of eagerness as he. My head still hurt and my arms were covered in blood that looked to be drying up.
“What happened?” I croaked out.
Tony looked at me with cautious eyes as if what he was about to say next would upset me even more than I already was.
Notes
I swear I'm the Queen of slow updates and filler chapters. Sorry, but I wanted to incorporate the whole "life flashing before your eyes" thing. What did you think of it?? --Feel free to tell me if it sucked, believe me I can take it haha.
@lostinthemusic I apologize if I left you at a crummy spot. I'll try my best next time lol. Anyway good luck friend!! :D Btw, I freaking love writing with you cause you make things so darn interesting haha #madrespect
On another note (I know I already said this in the author's note of Enjoy the Ride, but I'm still pissed!) So I watched the 49ers vs Seahawks game and all I can say is that the refs called a shit game. I wouldn't mind my 49ers losing if it happened to be a fair game, but it fucking wasn't. Anyway, the Broncos will dominate during the Superbowl. #Apologies for the rant haha
Thanks for reading guys!! I love you all <33
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I hope you feel better!
4/27/14