Days Like These

-Trigger Warning-

- reference to self-harming / act of self-harming

- act of rape

if you or anyone you know is going through one or more of the acts listed above, please seek help ASAP. It will get better

Three weeks, almost a month has passed since Vic and Kellin first met. Vic was happier, his hair looked healthier, his skin was cleaner, and his eyes sparkled. Kellin talked more, to the point where he even talked in front of the class. It was a huge accomplishment for the both of them.

Vic still saw Kellin as a rebound and Kellin’s crush intensified. No one knew Vic’s real intentions, which he was grateful for. It’s not like he wanted Kellin as a rebound; he wanted something serious but the thought of getting hurt again was still there. Everyone could tell Kellin had crush on Vic except for Vic of course. They joked around a lot, saying ‘Oh, Kellin, who do you have a crush on?’, and Vic would want to know but he’d brush off the subject.

Though not everything was perfect. Vic’s parents were fighting constantly, to the point where Mike and Vic stayed at a friend’s house to escape the noise. It was already taking a toll on both boys, mentally and emotionally. Kellin’s dad still drank, saving enough money to pay bills. It sometimes fascinated him how his dad managed to keep his job, in all honesty. Nightmares of his former bullies punching him, humiliating him, insulting him, kept him up at night. The hurtful words rang through his ears, causing him hurt his body inside and out. They couldn’t escape their troubles but they could at least act as if they’re fine.

It was Wednesday, the middle of the week. Nothing ever happened on Wednesdays; well at least nothing was supposed to happen. Vic and Kellin were in the library, skipping third period. Vic was sleeping while Kellin tried to get some homework done. They were lying on the floor. Empty backpacks were used as pillows, and sweaters were used as blankets. The smell on pumpkin spice filled the air with the scented air fresheners that were set up in different parts of the library.

Vic stirred a little, causing Kellin to stop writing the math equation and glance at him. His arm wrapped around the younger boy’s waist, pulling him closer to the point where their breath mixed. Vic cuddled onto Kellin’s side, inhaling deeply before exhaling slowly. He stared, hard. The way Vic’s face seemed so calm and peaceful made Kellin’s inside churn, their proximity not helping whatsoever. He turned when he heard someone sneer.

“You need to go to church.” Here they go again. A group of God believing kids had made a sort of posse, and began pointing out that Kellin and Vic were, in fact, dating and that they were disgusting. If course none of them knew that they were gay (or in Vic’s case, bisexual) but they assumed because they acted more like partners instead of friends. “God doesn’t like you because you’re homosexual. You have to be with a girl not a boy.”

“And God don’t like ugly yet he loves you right?” Kellin sassed back. He may not believe but he knew a few things. “Though last I checked, and you can correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t you have to love thy neighbor? It is after all a commandment right?”

“I will love my neighbor as long as they aren’t gay.”

“Please, show me where it says that in the bible.”

“You’re a disgrace to mankind.”

“Oh my fucking God!” Kellin groaned.

“Do not use such vulgar words or say the Lords name in vain!” Kellin simply smirked. There was no doubt in his mind that he was going to hell after this.

“Mmph, God, you feel so fucking thick up my ass!” He moaned. There were multiple gasps following Kellin’s little performance.

“You’re going straight to hell!”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” The group walked away, wanting get as far from the ‘abomination’ as possible. With a defeated sigh, Kellin slumped against the floor and shut his eyes. I’m not a bad person; I’m not a bad person. He kept repeating in his head over and over again. That didn’t help the tears that slipped though. It didn’t help the strangled sob that slipped through his lips. The poor boy was so caught up in his eternal battle, that he didn’t notice Vic wake up. He didn’t notice the concern, confusion and anger in his eyes.

Someone had hurt his best friend. And where was he? Asleep next to him, being useless. What kind of friend was he? Couldn’t even defend him while being next to him.

“Kells, you alright?” Stupid question Vic, he thought to himself.

“Y-yeah, ‘m fine. Just something in my eye is all.” Kellin mumbled.

“Liar.” Vic replied as he tightened his grip around the waist. “What happened?”

“They came. Told me I was going to hell and that I was a disgrace.” The older boy placed a kiss on his temple and let him cry.

“It’s ok. Everything is gonna be ok.” After a few minutes of crying, Vic spoke again. “Let’s just stay here until fifth ok?” Kellin merely nodded, tucking his head under Vic’s chin and rubbing his cheek against his chest, much like a cat.

“You don’t think I’m a disgrace, right Vic?” he asked after a moment of silence.

“Of course not sweets, I’d be a hypocrite if I did. Now take a nap, I’ll wake you up in a bit.”

-

Kellin silently walked into his house. His dad might be sleeping and he didn’t want to wake him up. Tiptoeing up the stairs and into his room, he let out a sigh. Taking out his homework, he sat on his bed and began studying. After an hour, he got tired so he changed into some sweats and a long sleeved shirt. Another hour passed when his door swung open. In the doorway stood his father, drunk, sweaty, and tired. Kellin knew what was coming. He braced himself for it.

The first strike came across his thighs, possibly opening the cuts underneath the fabric. Three more strikes and he was crying, trying to prevent his father from hitting him. The belt snapped against his back, causing him to arch it and yelp in pain.

“You look just like her.” He father said drunkenly with an evil smirk on his thin chapped lips. “Maybe you feel like her too.”

Kellin began to panic. He was used to the beatings but he never touched him that way before. Shaking his head repeatedly, he backed up into the corner as he father walked towards him, slowly.

“No, please, no.” Kellin begged through tears.

“That’s the same thing I told her before she walked out and left me with your sorry ass. Now you’re gonna feel the pain I felt.” His father picked him up and through him on the bed. “Don’t move. I promise I won’t go easy.” Pulling off his pants then his son’s, he bottomed out. Kellin cried and yelled in pain. It felt like he was being split open while being set on fire. There was no lube, no preparation. He wiggled around, trying to get away but his dad smacked him, choking him afterwards. “I told you not to move and shut up. Don’t need the nosy neighbors knowing you like daddy’s dick.” Kellin couldn’t move or breathe for that matter. After what felt like forever, he dad finally finished, tucking himself back in his pants and walking out, but not before leaving a threat. “Tell anyone about this and your dead. Chopped into pieces and thrown in the ocean.”

Once the door was closed, Kellin cried. His butt hurt, his neck hurt, he was hurting everywhere. This was his mother’s fault. If she hadn’t left, if she would’ve taken him with her, he wouldn’t be going through this. He slowly got up, wincing and waddling, and got to his drawer before falling to his knees. He felt around for the thing he needed. Wanted. When he finally found it, he took his towel and clothes with him to the bathroom. Turning on the water to cold, he got in and sat under the spray.

He began crying harder. His tears and the water mixing together. He saw seamen and blood go down the drain as well. Grabbing his sponge, he drizzled some soap and began scrubbing his body. He wanted the feeling of his own father off him, the sweat that dripped from his forehead onto his face, the grease and oil form not showering the night prier. Everything. He scrubbed to the point where he opened the skin; little beads of blood appearing and washing down his body. He looked pink and red everywhere.

Grabbing the razor, he wet it before placing it against his thigh. Taking a deep breath and, closing his eyes, Kellin pulled the sliver, sharp object across old scars and scabbing ones. Blood immediately comes to the surface then quickly mixes in with the water, running down the drain. He lost count after twenty, but stopped when he felt lightheaded. Standing up on shaky legs, he turned off the freezing water and began cleaning his cuts. After he was done with that and getting dressed, he made a beeline towards his room, locking the door behind himself. Placing his towel on the closet door to dry, Kellin removed the bedding and threw it into his closet. He pulled out a two different blankets from said closet then crawled into bed. When he looked at the time, it was only eleven nineteen.

Nothing ever really happened on Wednesdays.

Notes

It's about three weeks that Kellin and Vic have known each other. Vic still sees Kellin as a rebound. He doesn't want to but he doesn't want to be hurt. Kellin's crush intensified, not helping him one bit. it's a Wednesday and nothing is really supposed to happen on a Wednesday.

While they're in the library, a group of religious kids tells him that he's a disgrace and is going straight to hell. He fights back, pretending Jesus or God is fucking him, causing them to get mad and leave. When they leave, he mentally tells himself he's ok, that they're not right. It doesn't work. When Vic wakes up from his nap, he notices that Kellin is crying. When he asks what happened, he felt bad because he couldn't protect Kellin. Kellin wanted to reassured that he isn't a disgrace, and asked Vic. He replied saying "Of course not sweets, I’d be a hypocrite if I did. Now take a nap, I’ll wake you up in a bit.”

-

Kellin walks into his house quietly, not wanting to wake up his father just in case he was home. When he get to his room he does homework for about two hours until his door opens, reveling his drunken father. His father steps into his room, and begins hit him with belt all over his body. When he's done hitting him, he rapes him because he looks like his mom and wanted to know if “Maybe you feel like her too.”

When Kellin's father left, his son went into the shower and scrubbed his body, trying to get the feeling of his father off him. He scrubbed hard enough that he is skin was raw and pink. He began cutting his thighs. After he was done, it was only eleven nineteen.

Nothing ever really happens on a Wednesday.

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Well, I hope you guys like this a bit. My intention wasn't to cause anyone harm. Please seek help if you or anyone you know is going through self-harm, rape, etc. Remember, it will get better and stay strong.