Now It's Your Turn To Run

It was a relief to have a break after a long morning of work. I sat down on one of the couches of the hotel lobby that we were currently filming in and quickly popped two ibuprofen into my mouth before chasing it down with water. I groaned as the chill of the liquid only seemed to amplify my hangover induced headache. Why I decided to drink on a work night certainly beat me. Even after going through the motions of being hungover and trying to work as a production manager time and time again, I never seemed to learn. I was certainly gifted at bossing people around, but the constant demand of making decisions, firing people, hiring people, and making sure everything ran smoothly for the director was too much for someone with a recovering sense of sobriety. I should have fired myself for all of the times that I had been hungover on set.

“Rough night?”

I nodded and groaned without looking up to meet the gaze of whoever was speaking. Although as a production manager I was in charge of picking the crew to work for the movie, I could never remember a single name or face. I decided that I should probably look up to see the face of whoever was speaking to me. A girl with long, black hair took a seat beside me. I mentally slapped myself for not recognizing the voice of the main actress on set. “Just a rough morning.”

“Ah, hangover?” she guessed as she pulled her own water to her lips. She cocked one of her perfectly-plucked eyebrows up in an arch that demonstrated a perfectly-rehearsed expression of curiosity. “Me, too.”

I looked over at her. She seemed to be functioning completely fine. Damn those models and their perfection. “Could’ve fooled me,” I said with a chuckle. “You look refreshed, just as you always do.”

“You can thank yourself for that,” she said as she nodded her head towards me. “You hired an A+ make-up team. They know how to work with pale skin and dark circles, let me tell ya.” She chuckled a bit before taking another sip of water. “So, what are your plans after we’re done filming? What do we have...three...four more days to go?”

I nodded as I began to speak. “Yep, four more days until most of us are unemployed once again.” I let out a small laugh as I thought about how I couldn’t afford to be unemployed, yet again. “I’ll just have to wait for the university’s career services to sign me up for another set. I’m hoping to get my name out there so I can have the jobs lined up to avoid all the down-time in between.”

“Do you also go to San Diego State? I’ve never seen you around before.” She furrowed her eyebrows a bit as she studied my face to try and recognize me from around campus. “I don’t even think we’ve properly met! I’m Elaine.” She held out her free hand for me to shake.

“Delaney,” I said with a laugh. “And yes, I do go to San Diego State.”

“Our names are pretty similar,” she said. “I would have remembered you because of that if we had met before. Where do you hide around campus?”

I laughed at her words, but felt a sense of anxiety as I began to talk about school. It only reminded me of the year to come after the next few months of the summer was over. “I’m usually only there at night. I leave my days open in case I’m matched up with a job.”

“Oh, that explains it. I’m a morning person.” She gave me a lop-sided grin before dusting off the rest of her water and tossing it into the trashcan beside the couch. She rubbed her hands over the top of her jean-clad thighs before lifting them up and slapping them back down. After the slap sounded she let out a sigh, her words then coming out in a long breath that finally expressed her exhaustion to me. “Well, I better get over to make-up so I can be ready for the next shooting. See you around.” Elaine stood up and walked up, leaving me alone with my headache and my now prominent and anxiety-ridden thoughts about school.

I was expected to be starting my fourth, and final, year in studying Television, Film, and Media Production at San Diego State University, but the fact that I was also expected to pay for this on my own was preventing me from enrolling. My parents and I had an agreement that they would pay for the first year of college so I could save up enough money to move out. But the second half of the agreement was that as soon as I moved out, I had to start paying for my own schooling. And with every year that I attend, my tuition goes up - something that I wish I would have learned a lot sooner.

I did a pretty decent job at getting by for my sophomore and junior years. I worked part-time in retail and then spent the rest of my available time studying under some professors that specialized in Production Management and going to school. When I was able to land my first job as a Production Manager on the set of a film that some local environmental organization put together, I dropped my job in retail and told myself, this is it, Delaney. This is the big-bucks. But after that film, I spent two months searching and searching for a job until I finally tossed my name into the school’s career services database so they could match me up with local movies. I was still waiting for the “big-bucks” I promised myself.

“Five minutes ‘til rolling!” one of the onset assistants shouted out.

I pulled out my cell-phone and stood up as I checked over my text messages. My first messages was from Jaime.

Dear Delly, your name makes me hungry for a sandwich because it sounds like deli. Want to get some lunch when you’re free? Love, Hammy. ps-my name also makes me hungry.

I chuckled to myself as I began to walk toward where the cameras were getting ready to roll.

I would love to go to the DELLY to get some HAMMY sandwiches. Meet up at one?

I went back to my messages and disregarded the majority of them since they were all just lame conversation starters from people I hardly knew.

Hey.

What’s up?

Hey Delaney, how are you?

All of them were too generic and the people they came from were from random people I had met at school or on set of one of my jobs. Nobody I cared to keep in touch with. I had my social circle just the way I liked it - small.

Just as I was about to put my phone away, a text message from Ashlynn came in.

Hey! Don’t make any plans after you’re off work because I’m going to cook you a delicious vegetarian dinner and you’re going to eat it and like it. See you at six.

The fact that Ashlynn was finally back in my life was giving me a case of whiplash. One moment she was my favorite cousin, a best friend, and then the next she was out of my life completely. But then she was back, and trying harder than ever to rekindle the relationship we once had. I didn’t know whether to be completely overjoyed with her return or to still continue to be angry at her. I decided that I would wait for her to make the moves this time around, I felt that I deserved a bit of effort from her since I had attempted to put in that effort for all the years she had dipped out of our friendship. Maybe I was selfish for thinking that way, but in far too many situations in my life I was everything but selfish, and I figured this was my one excuse to be selfish and expect the effort I felt I deserved.

I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts. All of my talks with Jaime were starting to get to my head; all of his praise of how he thought that I was such a wonderful person had been programmed into my brain had finally begun to show. I made a mental note to make sure he didn’t know of this or else he would look me dead in the eyes with that dimply smile of his and say, I told you so.

I returned back to work and, in a flash, lunch time seemed to approach. I packed up my belongings and hoisted my purse over my shoulder before pushing through the hotel-lobby and making my way to the deli just down the street. I passed by the House of Blues along the way and couldn’t help but smile at the crowd that was forming outside for whatever performance was going on that night. It also made me wish that the boys were on another US tour, just so I could be apart of a crowd like that to watch my favorite boys perform on stage. I began to wonder about their next tour and if Ashlynn would still be around for it. After the night prior, I was convinced that Ashlynn got along with all of the boys, and I wondered if she would be interested in seeing them live.

“Hey Delly-Boo!” Jaime’s voice boomed from the entrance of the deli as I grew closer. He held his arms out for a hug and I gladly allowed his embrace to swallow me up. “How’s work been?”

“Miserable,” I grumbled. “I don’t know why you always allow me to drink on a work night. You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to stop me from making bad decisions!”

“It’s not my fault you get hangovers so easily! You need to come on tour with us sometime. After one month you’ll become more resistant to hangovers.”

“After one week and I’ll be an alcoholic,” I replied.

Jaime chuckled a bit. “I thought you already were?”

I mocked hurt as I sat down in a booth closest to the window. “Ouch, Hammy-Tam, that hurts you know.”

He shook his head as he looked over to the menu that was above the register adjacent to where we were sitting. “What do you want? The uzhe?” he asked, emphasising his shortened term for the usual. “I think I’m going to get the meatball sub.”

“I’m going to switch it up. Get me the three-meat melt,” I said, pointing to the large picture to display their newest sandwich. “And add bacon.”

Jaime gave me a confused look laced with a hint of disgust at my request, but continued on to the register, anyway. He came back a few moments later holding two bottles of pepsi and our wrapped up sandwiches. He placed the larger of the two foil-wrapped lunches in front of me before he took a seat opposite the side I was sitting on. Our heads remained down as we eagerly unwrapped our meals.

“Shit!” Jaime exclaimed as he watched me pick up my sandwich. “That’s a lot of meat! How the hell are you going to fit that in your mouth?” Jaime chuckled for a minute before adding a lame tag of that’s what she said to the end of his own sentence.

“You’re so stupid,” I said as I shook my head. I leaned down to take out a large - and might I add, probably unattractive - bite of the corner of the sandwich. It took me a good two minutes to chew. I washed the bite down with a bit of soda after swallowing. “I’m eating all the meat I can since Ashlynn is cooking me a vegetarian dinner tonight.”

Jaime cringed a bit. “The horror,” he said in a grim tone. We shared a small laugh before I decided to move in for another hack at the food in my hands. “Speaking of Ashlynn, all of the guys really liked her! They wouldn’t shut up about how adorable and funny she was once we left.”

“Really?” I smiled widely at his words. “I’m so glad. I think she really liked you guys as well. She seemed pretty comfortable by the end of the night. But then again, I wouldn't really know." My bitterness was evident yet again and I couldn't help but to feel disappointed in my own indecisiveness toward how I conveyed my feelings about the topic of her return.

"What do you mean? Are you guys fighting again?" Jaime furrowed his eyebrows and set down his sandwich. I sighed and set mine down as well. When Jaime puts down his food, that's when you know the conversation just got serious.

"No, we're not fighting. I just still don't know how I feel about her return. I want to be happy but part of me is still angry with her. She's different now; she's a lot more guarded and on-edge than before. It hurts me to know that I have no idea what her life has been like for the past several years. She could have been through anything to make her so jumpy and guarded, and I should know all about it. But instead she just cut me out of her life and now I have no idea about anything that has to do with her anymore." I ran my right hand through my bangs, pulling them straight back so they were out of my face. I let out a sigh before shaking my head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You never want to talk about anything," Jaime muttered as he looked back down to his food. He picked off a stray piece of cheese before slowly placing it in his mouth.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the cushioned back of the booth.

Jaime groaned and shrugged his shoulders. "You just always do that," he said. "You always just barely hit the surface of what's really eating at you and then go nevermind and then avoid the subject entirely. Just talk about what's bothering you for once. It's unhealthy to keep everything in."

I slouched my shoulders and shook my head. He was trying to get into my head again, and I preferred to keep my troubles weighed down on myself instead of worrying other people with them. "Please don't do this here. It's not a big deal. Can we just eat lunch without any drama? I need to savor the time I have with you in town. I don't want to dampen your time in between tours with my melodramatic worries."

“He changed you,” Jaime muttered.

“What the hell does that mean?” I asked, anger now evident. I knew that he was talking about Nathan, but before Jaime could open his mouth again, I waved my hand in the air a couple of times to try and tell him that I was over it, and he seemed to get the hint by the way he looked back down to his sandwich.

The rest of our little lunch date was dense and silent. The only sound was an occasional slurping sound as we drank, a crunching noise as we bit into our sandwiches, or a long sigh after a prolonged moment of silence. When it was time for us to part ways, I tried to hand Jaime a ten dollar bill to pitch in for the lunch, but he continued walking down the street and toward his car without even looking back to say goodbye. He drove off in an instant. I withdrew my hand to place the money back into my purse before heading back down the street and back to work. My headache had subsided just a bit, but now I had another nagging feeling that was consuming my head. A feeling that told me that Jaime was right.

I pulled into my apartment complex with a successful grin on my face after beating the record of how long I could drive while my tank was running on empty. I was still waiting for my paycheck to be credited to my account after I had deposited it a couple of days ago, and until that money was in my account, I was staring at three big, fat zeros everytime I checked my balance. Which also meant that I had to stare at the red fuel light of my honda for a bit longer as well. I had twenty dollars in cash in my purse, but I needed to save that money for food. Plus, I could use a little exercise by walking to work for a couple of days.

I went to push open my car door, but stopped as soon as I caught a glimpse of my landlord descending the stairs - it looked as if she was coming from my apartment. She stopped at the end of her stairs and took a moment to peer through her glasses that were rested on the brim on her nose to get a clear look at her cell phone that she was holding out in front of her. She looked up and made eye contact with her car before slowly going to cross the parking lot.

I quickly exited my car while keeping a watchful eye on her. I saw that she was staring down at her phone while her back was turned to me, so I took this as my chance to dart up the stairs as silently as possible and quickly jog around the building and into my apartment. I shut the door and locked it. I pulled down the blinds to the front window and stared out to make sure she wasn’t coming back up the stairs.

“Oh hey! You’re home early,” Ashlynn said from the kitchen. “Um...what are you doing?”

I jumped a bit at the sound of her voice and quickly released the blinds, causing them to let out a loud crack as the thin metal snapped back into place. “Oh, uh,” I laughed a bit, “I was just making sure my landlord wasn’t coming back up the stairs. I’m a bit behind on rent.”

“I know,” Ashlynn said with an unmoving expression. “She actually just came to the door. Why didn’t you tell me?”

My face immediately flushed red. Out of everyone in the family, Ashlynn and I were the only two who actually applied ourselves in school. Our mothers would brag about how we got it from their side of the family, and bond over how level-headed their firstborns were. Our Grandma would always joke with us and tell us that someday we’d buy her a house and repay her for all the money she invested into our family. She would say that we were the only hope to redeem the family name after years and years of various slip-ups by various family members.

I was embarrassed for Ashlynn to know that I couldn’t keep up my side of the bargain. She was still working hard and here I was, struggling to pay my measly seven-hundred dollar monthly rent, and hiding from my landlord.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Delaney,” Ashlynn said. She placed a hand on her hip and began to wag a finger at me. Her mouth continued to move, but I didn’t hear the words she was saying. I watched her body language and couldn’t help but to wonder when she grew up. She was the one scolding me, now, and I wasn’t so sure that I was the oldest in the room anymore. Everything about her was so mature and foreign to me. I had no idea where my little cousin went. Well, she was still little in a physical sense.

I let out a giggle at my own thoughts and watched as Ashlynn’s face distorted in confusion. She tilted her head to the side and gave me an awkward smile. “What’s so funny?” she asked.

“You’re so little,” I explained with a laugh.

She rolled her eyes and let her hand drop from her hip. “Not this again,” she said as she turned around and headed back into the kitchen. “Dinner’s almost done. I just need a couple more minutes.”

I kicked off my shoes and changed into a pair of spandex shorts and a t-shirt before heading into the dining room to have a seat at the table. All the years of setting the table at Thanksgiving seemed to have rubbed off on Ashlynn - there were two porcelain dishes sitting on opposite sides of the table, each complete with their proper silverware and cloth napkins.

“Where did you find these napkins?” I asked as I studied the embroidery on them. “I forgot I even had these.”

“I remembered when Aunt Marie gave them to you after you graduated from High School. I knew you had to have them somewhere. I ended up finding them in a box in my closet,” she explained from over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, I washed them before setting them out.”

I let out a small laugh as I stared over the atmosphere of the table. There was a candle placed in the middle along with a potted plant that used to sit on the counter of my bathroom. I loved the effort she put into the dinner - I was relieved to see her putting in any effort at all. “This is cute, Ash,” I commented as I gently fingered one of the leaves of the plant.

“Thanks, I try,” she said with a grin. “Bring me the plates.”

I stood up and did as I was told. I handed the two plates over to her and she shooed me away, claiming that the outcome was to be a surprise and that I needed to wait for the grand reveal. I took my seat back at the table and after a few minutes of watching her elbows flying around as she poured and scooped things over the plates, she was finally finished. She turned on her heel, balancing a plate in each one of her palms as she neared the table. “I could have made a damn good waitress,” she said as she set the plate down in front of me.

I looked down at the colorful array of foods and I already felt my mouth beginning to water just by staring at the beautiful display in front of me. “What is this?” I asked as I stared. I held my fork in my right hand, but left it hovering a good six inches away from the plate. I wanted to pick at it, but it was too beautiful to touch.

“It’s mushroom, green bean, and onion stir fry with red, green and yellow bell peppers. Throw some tofu in there and then put it over some quinoa and - presto! - you have this beautiful piece of art.” She looked down at her own plate with a proud grin stretching across her face. “It’s a personal favorite of mine.”

“I don’t even think I know what you just said but I’m gonna eat it,” I said as I slowly drew my fork closer to the plate. I picked up as much as my utensil could hold before bringing it up to my nose. I took in a quick sniff and let out a content mmm before pushing it into my mouth. “Shit, this is good.”

“It’s barely even touched your tongue,” Ashlynn said through a mouthful of her own food. “But I’m glad you like it.”

“This is delicious, holy shit. You’re cooking every night,” I said with a smile.

“Better than your Top Ramen?” she joked.

“Way better.”

We swapped a couple of stories about our day while we ate, but most of the time was spent in a comfortable silence as we appreciated the dinner Ashlynn had created. After living off of beer and Top Ramen, I felt pampered and fully satisfied as soon as my last bite hit my stomach. I pushed my plate forward and let out a grunt. “I’m stuffed.”

“Same,” Ashlynn said. “I’m going to get fat living here. First Jaime’s tacos and now this - I’m pretty sure I’ve already doubled in size.”

“Do we really have to go over the tiny conversation again?” I said as I tilted my head and glared up at her to try and give her a disapproving look. She shook her head and stood up to clear the table. “That’s what I thought.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ashlynn said as she turned away from me and placed the dishes into the sink.

“Oh, what did you say to my landlord, by the way?” I asked. Our conversation was so quick to change earlier that I didn’t get the chance to ask her about it. I wasn’t feeling embarrassed any longer. I guess what they say is true about good meals bringing families together.

Ashlynn’s hands suddenly became clumsy and she dropped the fork she was washing into the sink. A scraping noise echoed through the kitchen and then we were both silent. The only sound in the room was the running faucet clanking against the mound of pots and plates in the sink. “Huh? Oh, nothing.” Her voice was shaky and I could see that there was something more that she had to say. Before I pressed the issue, she reached out to turn off the water and then spoke up once again. “She asked if you were home and I told her no and then introduced myself and then I wrote a check and then we talked about her kids, and, did you know that her daughter just won rookie of the year at her college for soccer? And then-”

“Wait,” I cut Ashlynn off from her rambling. “You did what?”

“I talked to her about her kids?” Ashlynn tried.

I didn’t respond. I continued to stare at her with anger and shock. She eventually slouched her shoulders and caved.

“It’s no big deal, Delly. Think of it as a thank you for letting me back into your life so easily,” she said with a shrug. “It’s just one month. No troubles. Next month we can split it.”

I never thought about splitting the rent with Ashlynn, and I didn’t want to. This was my apartment and she asked to stay with me. In my mind, that meant that she was going to live here free of charge. She could stay as long as she needed to, and I was going to continue on with my normal routine of living paycheck to paycheck. There was no splitting, no paying each other back - none of that. “No,” I said sternly. I shook my head from side to side repeatedly. “No,” I said again.

“What? I thought that-”

“Ash, no. I don’t need you to pitch in. Yeah, I’m struggling, but I don’t need your help, okay?”

Ashlynn shook her head and turned around to finally face me. She looked into my eyes and I saw the look of pity on her face. I didn’t need her pity. I didn’t need her money.

“That’s not what I meant,” she said. “But, Delly, I really want to help you. Not because you need it, but because I want to.”

I stood up from the table and waved my hand in the air, similar to what I had done to Jaime earlier. “No, Ash,” I said as I waved my hand two more times and shook my head. “Goodnight.”

I padded across the dining room, down the hall, and locked myself inside my room. As soon as the door was shut, I allowed myself to crumble onto the floor. The tears began to wrack my body as I tried my hardest to crawl toward my bed. I felt everything weighing down on me much heavier than it had earlier that day when I thought about school.

My conversation with Jaime came back to me and the sobs only grew harder. I felt as if my lungs were going to explode with how aggressively I was choking on my air as the tears consumed me. Not only did I have my school to pay for, but I had my apartment to pay for as well. And somewhere in there I had to fit in money for gas and food. And, of course, on top of all of that I had Nathan to deal with.

My thoughts from earlier were confirmed as my choking turned to audible coughs: Jaime was definitely right. It was unhealthy to keep everything in.

Notes

Hey guys, Elise here! Here's another update for you guys. I know I can speak on behalf of both Jolee and myself when I say that your comments and ratings and subscriptions to this story amaze us! We love to see that you guys are enjoying this, because we enjoy this as well! We spend a lot of time on this story - planning things out, jotting down ideas, brainstorming our chapters together, etc. It's really fun!

What do you guys think about Jaime trying to get through to Delaney? Why won't she open up to him about things?

What about Delly's money problems?

And what is the deal with Nathan?

I'd love to hear all your thoughts and predictions and so forth! Thank you guys for all of the support! Make sure to check out all of our other stories if you haven't done so already!

MUAH!

PS - Happy (Belated) Holidays and I wish you all the bestest of best new years ever. (idk if that makes sense, but I'm going with it)