Ashlynn

Numbness. Numbness that tingled in my limbs, but made me aware of every emotion running rampant in my body, coursing through my veins. A liquid numbness that would surely only satisfy my craving of escaping reality for a few hours, only to be replaced as soon as it left my bloodstream. How could I let myself get this bad? How I could I allow myself to become dependent on a substance, very much so being hypocritical of the situation that I was facing right now?

I questioned both my sanity and rationality as my deep green eyes bore through the whitewash walls that I had called my home for only a short amount of time. My stare was blank; expressionless and emotionless. The tears streamed down my cheeks, but I hardly gave them a second thought. My crying was common, but I had brought this situation all onto myself. I had no one to blame for my actions. No one but myself and the inane choices that I had made.

I took in my surroundings as I sat against one of my bare bedroom walls, repeatedly thumping my head back against it and trying to think without my impulses and shitty decisions clouding my once-stable mind. A cheap bottle of wine rested in my left hand, well over halfway gone. I glanced over the bedroom that I hardly left, the bed adorned with mismatched sheets and pillowcases, blankets strewn around messily over top. There were no posters or paintings decorating the walls, no accessories expertly placed around the room. The bedroom was bland and boring, but I had never really tried to make it my home. There were articles of clothing littering the shag carpeting, almost the only sign of human activity in the house apart from the dishes in the sink. I was out of place, anxiety ridden, and I had absolutely no idea what to do or where to go.

To settle my anxieties, I brought the bottle of wine to my lips, taking a few long gulps before setting it on the ground next to me. Drinking was what I did best lately. Drinking and disappointing people seemed to be the only things that I was good at, and I never tried to prove the theory right, nor wrong.

I thought back to all the events in my life that brought me to this point in time. The lies, the manipulation, the anger, the frustration...they all amounted to become a huge pile of anxieties that slowly crept through my veins and seeped into my bloodstream, overriding any sense of bliss that I had left. My sadness took over my life right before my eyes and all I could do was watch it unravel in front of me. I was powerless and weak, and I had succumbed to the pressure that I had put on myself. Now I was drowning my conflicts in cheap alcohol and tears.

In a flood of anger, I whipped the bottle of wine at my bedroom wall, causing the glass to erupt and scatter shards all over my room. The liquor splashed once the glass broke, dripping down the wall and landing all over the light colored carpeting, surely leaving one hell of a stain. The stain and broken glass were the least of my worries as my tears flowed freely, sobs wracking my body and causing me to tremble as I cried audibly. I threw my head into my hands, entangling my fingers into my unwashed, unkempt black hair, pulling at the greasy tendrils and wondering what the hell I was going to do.

Where could I go to get away from this? What could I possibly do, who could I possibly tell? I searched the deepest crevices of my unstable, intoxicated mind to find a feasible solution to the demon I had created as my own to wreak havoc on my mind and body. Tears came steadily when I realized how utterly alone I was.

I stood up, taking every ounce of strength that I still carried in my body to pick me up off the ground. I anxiously paced the length of my room, walking back and forth while the tears started to become innumerable. My body hurt, the bruises sore and tender and my pacing didn't help them. The headache that I had pulsed, making me feel like my brain was literally throbbing. My eyelids were heavy from sleep that I wouldn't let myself have and from the tears that had made them swollen. My heart ached because I couldn't do a damn thing to help the ones that I loved.

I didn't belong here. I needed to leave, and as soon as I possibly could. I wanted to be home.

I picked up my phone off of the nightstand and quickly dialed the number that I had neglected to call for so long. It rang a few times before I heard rustling on the other end and I knew she had picked up.

"Ash? Why are you calling me?" her voice was clouded with sleep, I knew I had woken her up.

"Del?" I sniffled into the other line. "I want to come back to San Diego. I want to come home."

Notes

HELLO ALL THAT HAPPEN TO BE READING!

We (eliseypoo and d3ja-ent3ndu) have been hard at work, creating this new collaboration story for you guys to feast your little eyes upon :)

Here's a run-down of how things for this story will work: Ashlynn's chapters will be written by Jolee (d3ja-ent3ndu) and Delaney's chapters will be written by Elise (eliseypoo). These are our very own characters that we have created and tied into a story to fit together. Since this is a collaboration with not one, but TWO original main characters, this means that not one, but TWO of the guys will be featured in a romance! This has been very different for us, but so far has been very, very fun to write! Hopefully, with two minds combined we can create one kickass story that you guys will like! :)

SO HERE IT IS. No promises on how frequent updates will be, but there are already a few pre-written chapters so for a while there will be a steady flow of updates, maybe a week or so in between to keep you guys guessing and on the edge of your seat :)

Read, rate, comment, and subscribe! All are very much appreciated! We would LOVE to hear your thoughts about this!