I've been in LA for a week now. I don't like it here as much as San Diego, but I like it more than Birmingham. Alysha is great too. We like the same things and the same people. Her apartment is something like you'd see on the home makeover channel too.
She's not telling me I need to go back either. When she asked me here she took me to my grandparents house. She spoke to them about me staying with her for a little while to look for careers in LA. Mike phoned and backed Alysha up, obviously. Then I packed a bag and left with her.
Nobody knows I'm pregnant. Mike still hasn't told Dad. I still haven't told Paris. I don't know what to do honestly. Do I want a baby? Of course not. How am I going to sing and make something of myself? I need to sort this out. But I really don't know how.
My phone started ringing and I sat up straighter on the couch. I saw Dad calling me and bit down on my lip. Alysha walked in and sat down next to me. She handed me a glass and I showed her my phone.
"Do you want me to answer it?" she offered.
"No," I sighed. "I need to talk to him,"
"Will you tell him?"
"No," I shook my head quickly.
"Don't worry," she told me. I took Alysha's hand and answered Dad.
"Hey Dad," I said.
"Hi Effy. How are you?" he said happily.
"Um . . . okay I guess,"
"How's LA?"
"It's cool. I like SD better though," I explained.
"Are you sure Alysha doesn't mind? You didn't force her just because you wanted a vacation,"
"I didn't force her. She offered,"
"How come?"
"When you told me about your music," Alysha said quietly.
"We got talking about what I wanted to do. There's a great music scene here apparently,"
"And you're sure that school were fine with it?"
"They were great," I lied. "Don't worry,"
"Okay, well I've got good news,"
"What?"
"I'm coming back a week early. There's been a mix up with a line of venues,"
"So when are you back?"
"Three weeks," he said brightly.
"Shit," I muttered under my breath.
"What?"
"Great. I can't wait to see you. I miss you,"
"I miss you too, Ef'. You sure everything's okay?"
"Yeah, just school and future and stuff,"
"Why don't I believe you?"
"It's just Paris," I rushed.
"Oh, is she okay?"
"No! She's pregnant,"
"That's not good," Dad said eventually. "Has she told her parents?"
"No, she's too scared," I said. "What would you think if I got pregnant?"
"It'd be really hard. I'd just feel like it was all my fault. I bet her parents are disappointed. I'd try to be there for you, but I'd be a Grandpa. I don't know if I could support you properly. You'd be throwing your future and everything away," Dad said slowly.
"It's good I'm not pregnant then," I mumbled.
"Ugh, I've got sound check," Dad sighed. "I'll call you tomorrow," he said.
"Okay, Dad I love you,"
"I love you too. Be good for Alysha,"
"I will,"
"I'll see you soon. I have loads of cool stuff for you,"
"Thanks,"
"Bye,"
"Bye," I breathed. Dad hung up on me and I groaned. My head fell into my hands and I fell down into Alysha's side. She wrapped her arm around me and stroked my hair.
"What did he say?"
"He's coming back in three weeks,"
"Are you going back before?"
"I guess," I nodded.
"What did he say about the pregnancy thing?"
"That I'd be ruining my future,"
"Don't listen to him. It's up to you, Effy,"
"I know but he's right. I would be ruining my future,"
"How?"
"How can you tour with a baby?" I sighed.
"I don't know," she shrugged. "Let me tell you a little story,"
"I'm listening,"
"When I first started modelling I was with this guy. He was super cool and we were into all the same things. But at the same time he was kind of an ass. I got pregnant. We had this huge fight and I had no clue what I wanted to do," she told me.
"What did you do in the end?" I asked.
"Actually I lost the baby," Alysha sighed, looking down.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"And even Mike doesn't know that so you say anything and you're in big, big trouble," she playfully warned. "Anyway, the point of the story is that I was making plans around this problem I had. So you can too,"
"It'd ruin everything," I sat up. "I don't even know if what I have planned will work,"
"Take me through everything," she urged.
"I'm writing lyrics. My friend Matt is putting the guitar parts to it. It isn't good enough though,"
"How come?"
"It needs more. We're looking for a drummer and a base player,"
"What have you done to find one?"
"Nothing yet. We need to make posters and hold a day for everyone to come and show us what they have,"
"Do you have a name?"
"Not yet," I smiled.
"You could kick right off,"
"I am not relying on my dad," I shook my head.
"You want to do it the hard way?" she laughed.
"Yeah, and I want to make it big. I know I can do it, Alysha. But I can't with a pram at side stage,"
"I don't think it works like that," she tried.
"I can't do it. I get drunk and high and shit faced! I should never have let it happen. All I wanted was sex. I wanted the closeness. I don't even like the guy. I only wanted sex," I said, my voice rising in frustration.
"Calm down," she soothed. "You just need to figure this out. I'm here, Effy,"
"I know what I want to do," I frowned.
"What?" Alysha asked gently.
"Will you help me?" I rushed. "You promise,"
"I promise, babe," she smiled.
"I want it gone. I want an abortion," I told her. There was a sense of sureness and finality in my voice. Maybe it should scare me. But it didn't, I knew I had to do this.

Notes

Hey! What did you think? I know I'll have people giving me grief and hating me for Effy wanting an abortion. But I said this story is about to get real. Few girls I know would say I'm going to have this baby and raise it if they discovered they were pregnant. If you're pro life and against it. Sorry? But this stuff happens in real life, if you like it or not :)