All I could feel was dizziness. Nothing was staying still, nothing. I opened my eyes and it was dark. Did I sleep all day? I couldn't have. My boss would kill me. With panic in me, I sat up quickly but slammed my head off something above me. "Fuck" I cried out. I grabbed my head and held onto it. My hands wandered above my head to the abnormally low ceiling. Where the fuck am I? I felt around me until I hit something that let light in. I was in a bunk... on a bus. That's when it all came flooding back into my memory. Everything.

"Hold up Lee, what you trying to say?" I heard Matt N say. I closed the curtain over again.

"It's simple, Oli is clearly in love with Casey" Another voice said softly, Lee I think.

"What makes you think that?" Matt asked.

"Think about it carefully. Since we all became friends all Oli has ever done was make sexual jokes about her, behind Matts back obviously but it's true. Every year at Valentines she'd get cards from a secret admirer with these love poems, now look at the lyrics that Oli has written in some of our songs" Lee went silent for a moment "he showed me this the other day, he said he wanted to use it for a song he was working on" Lee said softly. I heard a rustling with paper.

"If I let you in, you'd just want out. If I tell you the truth, you'd fight for a lie. If I spilt my guts, it would make a mess we can't clean up. If you follow me, you will only get lost. If you try to get closer, we'll only lose touch. But you already know too much, and you're not going anywhere." Matt read out. "Seems good, whats wrong with it?"

"Do you not remember those words?" Lee asked.

"Holy shit, I remember now. That was on the last valentines card Casey got" Matt said with realisation. "Fuck, makes sense now".

"Good words though, now we know where this song is gonna come from" Lee said.

"Yeah, what else you thinking?" Matt questioned.

"Well, think about this. He turned up at her door on Christmas day, anyone else woulda waited til a few days after but no he went on Christmas day. It was his suggestion to go to her house that night we were in London. He was the one who encouraged us to go after her last night. It shoulda been Matt kicking the fuck outta that bastard but Oli seemed so much more angry... makes you wonder" Lee finished.

"I knew you were brainy from the day I met you" Matt laughed. "Good work though... wanna bet how long it'll be til they both work it out and just get together?" Matt suggested.

"That's the tough bit. She's just came out of this shitty relationship where I'm not doubting he done terrible things to her. Oli is more of a one nightstand guy... he's not gonna admit this one for awhile is he?" Lee explained.

"Fair enough man, let's say... £20 they'll be together by Christmas 2010?" Matt bet.

"Deal" Lee said and then I heard their handshake. "Come on, let's go get some coffee" Lee said and they walked off.

I just sat there in confusion. That poem was one of my favourite things in my life. I always kept it in my purse, I ripped that part out of the card and kept it with me every single day. I had no idea it was Oli who sent me that, I was clearly as oblivious as Matt. Time to get out of this bunk. I climbed out and into the daylight that was flooded in the bus. I covered my eyes and realised I was wearing a really long t-shirt. I wasn't wearing this last night... "Morning munchkin" I heard from behind me. I turned around to see my brother walk into the bunk area.

"Hey Matt" I said softly. I looked down at the shirt to see the words Drop Dead across my chest. "What the hell is Drop Dead?" I asked.

Matt laughed a little. "Olis got a clothing line called Drop Dead" He smiled.

"Oli doing fashion? Has anyone seen what he used to wear when he was 14?" I said, genuinely shocked that someone let Oli be in charge of some sort of fashion.

"We should send the retailers pictures from our 14th birthday party, where he wore those baggy jeans and a football Jeresey" Matt laughed. The memory filled my head and I laughed a little more than I should.

"We should, why'd he think that looked cool?" I asked, almost breathlessly.

"He was 14 and thought he looked the shit. He just didn't know he looked like shit" Matt shrugged.

"Oi, I was a sexy beast alright" I heard from behind me. I turned around to see a sleepy looking Oli walk into the bunk area.

"When? I'd like to know because I personally don't remember" I said seriously. He pretended he was hurt then walked back out.

I turned back to Matt and smiled. "I'm glad you're back with us. We're actually home now. Back in good old Sheffield" He smiled.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to be back here" I sighed.

"We're glad that you're home. I haven't told mum and dad why you haven't been home, that's up to you. I won't judge if you don't tell them the truth but that's up to you" Matt said then walked away.

Maybe it's best not to tell them the truth, it'll make them really nervous about me leaving home ever again. I can't spend all my life in Sheffield, next time I just gotta be careful of who I let into my life. I walked out into the lounge area, picked up my bag then went to the bathroom. I just put a pair of jeans on and kept the Drop Dead shirt on, might aswell rep my friends clothing line for him. After I made myself a little more presentable, I walked off the bus and found Oli sitting on the curb infront of my house. I walked over and sat next to him. Silence filled the air and I didn't know what to say. "Remember the first time we ever spoke and you said that I was an annoying, weird girl with stupid hair? And I cried for like 2 hours until Matt went mental at you and then you cried. Our mums made us fall in and ever since then, we've never fell out. Not even came close to it... why?" I asked.

"We argue a lot" He shrugged.

"But we never let ourselves get to the point where we might never see each other again... until I fucked up" I said kicking a stone.

"You didn't fuck up" He said looking up at me.

"No but I did. We always tried to hold on to our friendship as long as we could but I let that go" I sighed.

"Don't worry, we're here now! Together and that's all that matters" He smiled.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the original piece of paper that had the poem on it that Matt read out earlier. I unfolded it and then placed it in his lap. "After all these years, I had no idea it was you who kept sending me those Valentines cards until today. Thank you even though it was something you done 5-6 years ago it took effect today because I really needed something to remind me that I'm not unlovable and Jack was just an arsehole. It's like 6 year old you knew I'd need it so thanks Oli" I leaned up and kissed his cheek softly.

"No problem love" He said softly, not looking away from the piece of paper.

I stood up and looked back down at him one last time. "I added a little something on the back..." I said softly then turned to walked away. I went into my garden then walked into my house and onto the next part of my life, where I wouldn't be walked all over by crazy men... and maybe find out if Oli really did love me.

Notes

Let me know what you think okay?