Things have been awkward as fuck since New Years. The boys had a band practice tonight but it got cut short because Oli turned up drunk. Who the hell knows why but he is seriously getting on everyones nerves. My brother was so close to punching him today but I had to hold him back. It's a shame because tomorrow we head out to America. The first show is in two days but with the way things are going it doesn't seem like we're gonna get that far. Everyone was trying to sober Oli up but he wasn't having it, it's a shame really. He was really really drunk, to the point where he could barely even walk.

I walked up to Matt and said. "Let me take him home, I'll try and talk to him. He helped me when I needed it and he clearly needs help right now".

Matt thought for a moment then nodded. "Okay but if you need help then call me" He told me.

"Yeah, you guys go practice as much as you can okay. Got a big tour coming up" I smiled.

I took a deep breath then walked over to the small room where we had put Oli to calm him down. My hand hesitated on the door handle for a second. Come on Casey, it can't be that bad... he needs you. For what I don't really know. I opened the door and walked inside. I looked over at a very drunken Oli, sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. His head snapped up and looked at me. "Oli, let's get you home" I said softly, trying not to provoke him.

His eyes were cold and looked dead inside. "Go away" He said harshly.

"Why? I'm trying to help you" I looked at my feet, I couldn't bare to look at his eyes anymore.

"I don't need your help" He spat at me. I lost my cool at this.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You are acting like a complete and utter wanker Oli, you've ignored me for the last two weeks and now you turn up to band practice drunk?" I burst out. "Fucking pathetic that's what it is" I shook my head at him.

"You can't call me that alright" He said trying to stand up.

"I think I can, you can barely even stand up" I nodded at him.

"Yeah I can" He said finally getting on his feet. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Stop acting like a baby and be a man for once in your life" I said looking around the room, finding anything I could to distract me.

"Why you being such a bitch" He shrugged.

"You being serious?" I laughed at this more than I should have.

"I'm being such a "bitch" because you are fucking things up for your friends right now. I don't know why but since New Years you've been so cold to everyone. You have no idea how badly that is having an effect on everyone. You go on tour in 2 days and your messing this practice up for everyone" I almost shouted at him.

"It's your fault" He mumbled.

"My fault, my fucking fault?" I asked in disbelief. "How the fuck is it my fucking fault?" I asked.

"You fucked my best friend!" He shouted. My eyes widened in shock at his statement.

"What?" I asked. "What does that matter to you?" I couldn't believe this.

"He can't have you" He whispered. "It should've been me".

I had no idea what to say to that. I sighed loudly. "I don't know what you are on about Oli, seriously I can be with who I want to be with" I said, my voice got caught in my throat a little.

"You have no idea do you?" He laughed out loud.

"No, I don't" I shrugged.

"If I can't have you then none of them can" He said, deadly serious.

"You're fucking crazy Oli. Stop it" I said getting a little scared.

"You can't be with any of them" He mumbled.

"Shut up. You need to fix yourself quickly. I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you say this shit to me. You're wasted and I don't just mean drunk" I turned away.

"You think you know better?" He laughed. "Cut me up and wear my skin" He came up behind me. "Show me how to live" He whispered in my ear. I turned around and looked at him intensely.

"I'm taking you home, don't fuck this tour up. You're gonna sober up and then come back tomorrow and practice your arse off. This band is important to my brother, I don't give a fuck what you do with your life if you want to fuck it up but don't think you can get away with fucking out all of their lives too for whatever bullshit reason you have" I told him.

"Fine" He muttered. I turned and opened the door and we walked out.

"I'll see you tomorrow guys, I'm sorry if I've been an arse" Oli said to the guys.

"S'alright man, just get here at 2pm tomorrow and we'll be okay" Matt explained to him.

"Right, I'll see you then" Oli nodded then staggered off.

"Thanks for helping him, see you at home Case" Matt smiled.

"No problem. See ya later" I waved to them as I walked out.

My mum let me borrow her car for the night so we walked out to the car and got in. The ride back to Olis was quick, very quiet also. Once we got to his house Oli turned to me. "Come inside for a bit, I wanna talk properly" He asked. I looked at him for a second and thought.

"Fine, only for a bit though" I said turning of the ignition. We got out the car and into Olis house. We went up to his bedroom and sat on his bed. I kept my back to him because I was so angry with him.

"I'm sorry I was such a dick to you" He said softly. I looked behind me and bite my lip.

"It's fine" I said quietly.

"I shouldn't make shitty judgements about who you sleep with. You're your own person and that's exactly what your ex boyfriend done to you" He looked down.

"Thank you" I smiled. I looked around Olis room and noticed 5 half empty bottles of vodka on his desk. "Oli, how much did you drink tonight?" I asked.

"Half bottle of vodka" He said.

"Then why do you have 5 there?" I said pointing to the bottles.

"Oh, they're the other nights bottles" He shrugged.

"You've been drinking other nights?" I asked with shock. He just shrugged.

"Yeah" He scratched his head.

"Are you alright Oli? Why do you feel you need to drink?" I asked feeling a little guilty for being so harsh.

"I'm sad I guess" He said playing with the fabric on his covers. "Everyone keeps asking if im okay, I'm sick of it"

"People care about you" I reminded him.

"It's gonna be okay, whatever is making you feel like this will get better" I smiled. I reached over and grabbed his hand. He looked into my eyes. I felt like I could see into his soul.

"You" He said.

"Sorry?" I asked confused.

"You are what makes me like this" He explained.

"Oh, why?" I asked a little bit hurt.

"I'm scared to let myself be who I really am with you, you make me wanna be a better person but then I can't lose myself to be what you need. When you were out of my life for two years I felt alone. Completely and utterly alone. If the band hadn't of became so big then I probably wouldn't be here. Without you around things just didn't seem worth it anymore but I digress I'm not a sucker for expressing myself" He shrugged.

"I'm really sorry Oli, for whatever you went through when I wasn't here. I thought I was really damaged but my wounds are so clear and visible, yours are so deep you're gonna take awhile to really deal with them" I said feeling sad. "I can't sit here and listen to how it's my fault though, I'm your best friend but knowing I'm the cause of your pain makes me wonder if coming back with you guys was the best idea" .

"You'd rather stay with that arsehole?" He asked with anger.

"No, I'd of gone somewhere else if I knew this was gonna happen" I sighed. The room filled with silence and I stood up.

"Don't go" He said frantically.

I turned to face him. "I'm gonna go make you coffee and then I'm going home. You need sleep" I told him. He nodded slowly and let me leave the room.

I went downstairs and into the kitchen to make Olis coffee. I knew exactly how he liked it, I had made him coffee so many times. Once it was ready I walked back upstairs with it and walked into his room. I looked over to his bed and seen he had passed out. Great. Least I can leave without him getting all weird.

I walked over to his desk and sat the cup down on some paper. I realised it was a song and quickly moved it but some lyrics caught my eye. I picked the paper up and looked closely.

One more nail in the coffin, one more foot in the grave one more time I'm on my knees and I'm trying to walk away, how has it come to this?

I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times that I'm OK, that I'm fine, that it's all just in my mind but this has got the best of me, and I can't seem to sleep it's not 'cause you're not with me, it's cause you never leave

I've said it once a thousand fucking times you said this is suicide, I said this is a war when I'm losing the battle man down, man down, oh this is what you call love? this is a war i can't win!

Suddenly the paper was snatched away from me and I jumped backwards. I looked up to see Oli with a strange look on his face. "Sorry I didn't know I couldn't look" I said quickly.

"What did you think?" He asked.

"Things have been harder on you than you let on" I whispered, tears forming in my eyes. He opened up his arms and covers for me.

"Come 'ere" He said softly. I climbed into his bed and he wrapped his arms around me. I tried not to cry, I didn't wanna be that girl anymore.

After ten minutes I sat up. "I have to go home" I said looking back at him.

His face turned to a sad one. "Don't go, please... just stay tonight... I need you" He whispered.

The hope in his eyes made my heart sink, I couldn't say no to him. "Okay... just tonight though" I whispered. I laid back down and he cuddled into me.

"Goodnight" He whispered into my hair and kissed the top of my head.

"Goodnight" I said sleepily into the room.

Tonight was definitely weird.