I was walking beside my mother as we headed for maternity. We went through and into the room Kate was staying in. She was sprawled out on the bed with a nurse looking rather flustered as she held Kate's new born baby boy. The nurse set the baby down in a small cot before she left us. Now I look closer at Kate she looks awful. Like she's been hit over the head with a saucepan while she got acupuncture from an ammeter.
"Was it really that bad?" I asked her.
"Zee," she groaned, and winced when she moved in bed. "It's pure agony. If you insist that there's a pain worse, you must be a man."

I sat up and gasped. I was sweating and shaking. I've been having these dreams every night now. Labour is coming and damn is it going to hurt. What if something goes wrong? I've heard so many stories. They might have to cut me open. They might miss and chop my leg off. I might give birth but forget and leave the hospital without them. I might leave them in the taxi cab. Or even worse, I could just give birth to the antichrist! As soon as I've pushed them out of my special place you'll hear the theme tune from The Omen start playing somewhere in the distance.
I'm sure Vic won't be having these dreams. He's obviously going to be the better parent. Even if our child is the Antichrist, he'll love it. I on the other hand will leave the child on a orphanage doorstep for fear they can do magic and become the second Voldemort.
Vic seems to make all these worries go away. I spent Christmas at my parents house with Kate, Kellin, Cope and the boys. That was just a laugh a minute. To sum the week as a whole it was uncomfortable. Vic wasn't there so I had no one to get excited with when the baby kicked really hard. My mom and Kate were more interested in birth plans. I spent most of my time with Copeland. She understands me.
I am currently at pregnant base one a.k.a. the couch. Vic has left me bars of chocolate and a jar of marshmallow fluff so I don't have to move. Speaking of which, moving isn't all that easy anymore. He's out buying a few things from the baby because according to the book it can happen any day now. I don't like that the baby could come early. What's the point of a due date? Stupid baby.
I heard the door open and Kate walked inside. She beamed at me and came to sit on the couch. I threw a chunk of chocolate into my mouth and Kate nudged me. "I brought you a present." she grinned.
"What is it?" I asked excitedly, sitting up.
"Ta dah!" she exclaimed, handing me a foil package. I opened it and saw Kate's signature chocolate strawberry extravaganza. It's also my pregnant alternative to an orgasm. I took a bite and gasped. So good.
Once I'd finished I looked down to a pregnancy magazine on the coffee table. I've been thinking about this a lot recently. "Kate?" I asked.
"Hmm?"
"Do you know how many women get postnatal depression?" I asked seriously.
"No, do you?"
"Well, no." I sighed. "But it's a lot!"
"Look, Zee. You most likely won't get it. You'll love your baby."
"But what if I get depressed! Like Austin... And I... And I eat my baby!"
"You won't, they don't taste very nice." she laughed. I frowned at her and she sighed. "If you do you'll get help, everyone will help you." she promised.
"Really?" I asked hopefully.
"Of course." she smiled and kissed my head. Then she looked at her watch and stood up. "Well, I'll see you later. Call if you need anything."
"Oh okay, see you." I waved. And Kate left me with not even another slice of cake.

Not even ten minutes after she left the door opened again. But this time it wasn't Mother Hen. It was Alan. He came over to me and collapsed next to me. He took a huge chunk of chocolate and started eating.
"Hey." I said.
"Oh hi. This is really good." he told me and took another chunk.
"So what's up?" I asked.
"There's a party tonight. Over at Phil's. You're invited. It's to say we did a good music." he's not making sense. "You coming?"
"Sure." I agreed.
"I organised it." he grinned proudly.
"You?" I asked and he nodded. Oh no. I love Alan to death but he's not the best at organising these things. If I'm honest he couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.
Then Alan looked at his watch and stood up. "Well, loads to do. I'll see you tonight, Sweet Cheeks." he said and bounced away to the door. I am completely bewildered.
Just as Alan leaves, Austin enters. He waved and came over to me. "Hi Zee." he said.
"Hey Austin. Want to tell me why I've gotten three visitors and it isn't even lunch time yet?" I asked.
"Oh, was it that obvious?" he asked and I nodded. "We're on orders."
"Who from?"
"Jemma. She's given us a schedule."
"For visiting? I keep telling everyone I'm okay!" I sighed.
"Yeah, I'll show you." he said. He reached into his pocket and handed me a piece of paper all folded up.
'Kate. Alan. Austin. Mrs Fuentes. Kellin. Mike. Tony. Jaime. Jemma.'
"Is this for the week?" I asked.
"The day." Austin grimaced.
"I'm going to be visited by six more people? Even Scrooge didn't have it this bad!" I exclaimed.
"Well, my shift is over. Sit tight." he said and ruffled my hair. I sat frowning, making him laugh. One is not amused.

Soon after the door opened again. It was Vic's mother. But I knew that because I've seen the schedule. She came in and went to make a cup of tea. She brought me one and sat down, sipping on her tea.
"Not long now." she said rather brightly.
"Yeah." I grumbled.
"You know when I was in labour with Vic I thought he would never come. Oh did it hurt. You know how long?"
"Three hours?" I asked hopefully.
"I wish! Thirty two!"
"Thirty two." I echoed weakly. "I thought it's over after a few hours. Only six at the most."
"That's true, if your vagina is a log flume." she said, making me wince. I think I preferred it when we didn't speak. "As for Mike... I've never been in so much pain all my life! His ears made it so difficult."
"Um right." I muttered.
"God help you with your tiny frame. I've heard not an once of meat was on your bones. And I wouldn't say you have child bearing hips. Bless you, Love." she patted me on my arm.
"Isn't your shift over?" I asked hopefully.
"Oh it is, well tell Victor I said hello."
"Right, yeah..." I trailed away. And Vivian disappeared out of the door, without even a goodbye. I think she just came her to scare me silly.

Notes

Hey! What did you think? There's not many chapters left now as Zee is well and truly proper pregnant. Will she and Vic get back together? What will the baby be? Will Zee give birth to the antichrist? :)