Ever since Vic gave me that very strange look at the hospital he hasn't been talking to me. I didn't really notice it much when I was in the hospital. But when I got home I've caught on. I live in his apartment and he's hiding from me. It's ridiculous. He's figured out what time I get up so he leaves before and comes home late. When I have caught him on the way out of the door he mumbles something about needed to go do band things. Whatever that means.
But they're on tour now. It's only for one week and I've been forced against my wall to come. I'd rather stay on my own watching day time television. But instead I'm sleeping in a too small bunk, eating all the food and crying. Because I cry a lot.
The upside is that on this tour Pierce The Veil are joined by Of Mice and Men. But all the fans are certain it's Mike's baby. I'm getting fan mail. Vic really needs to tell everyone before a fan sends me either Mike and Zandra matching towels or a letter bomb.
We were all sitting around a table in one of the rooms backstage. They were talking about music and set stuff and instruments. I'm not really paying attention because I don't really care. This all doesn't interest me. Vic is sitting a few seats away busy not looking at me. Is it the week he's flying the red flag or something? Austin stands up and my eyes follow him.
"I'm going for a walk," Austin explained. As he left I looked at Vic and found him glaring at Austin. Woah.
"I'm going to the bathroom," Vic grumbled. He got up and stormed out of the room.
"I'm going. . . somewhere," I said awkwardly. I hurried from the room and tried to chase Vic down the corridor. This is getting extremely difficult for me to do now. Running I mean. Vic was just about to go into the bathroom. "Wait!" I yelled. He looked up and seemed shocked to see that I had followed him.
"You look out of breath," Vic noted.
"I wonder why," I sighed. "And you're talking to me now?!" I shot back.
"I thought you'd be running after someone else,"
"What on earth is that supposed to mean?" I said, my hands on my hips. "You're so stupid! What did I even do to make you stop liking me?"
"Me?" he laughed humourlessly. "Don't you mean what did I do to make you stop liking me?"
"What?" I frowned. Is he confused? It's obvious I like him. He's the one that can't make it a month without getting himself a girlfriend.
"Fucking hell, Zandra! I like you, okay. I've tried everything. I've given all kind of signals any sane person would pick up on! I love you, Zee," Vic rushed. He what? He loves me? Shit. "But it doesn't even matter!"
"And why not?!" I demanded.
"Because you're in love with Austin," Where has he got that idea from? No one knows that! "Excuse me," Vic sighed and went into the bathroom.
Oh no.

A few days later I'm still trying to go over this in my head. Who do I love? Vic or Austin. I've always had a crush on Austin. He's Austin. Didn't I say I wish I'd slept with him. This whole thing is stressing me out. I've even started feeling kicks from the baby. This probably has nothing to do with the Vic Austin situation, but I'm blaming them.
I'm walking with Alan now. We can see Austin and his girlfriend. They're holding hands and laughing as Austin strokes her cheek.
"They're cute," I commented.
"Oh I know. She's really cool though," Alan told me.
Then as I look at Austin's face I see his eyes a bright and he has a wide smile stretched across his face. He's just so happy. I haven't seen him like that in a long time. And something that shocks me is that I'm happy for him. I don't want Austin to be the father to my baby. All I want is for Vic to look at me like that.
I don't love Austin like that. Not at all. Austin is my best friend and I love him like a best friend. But I don't have a crush on him anymore. I love someone else. I love Vic.
It hit me as Alan he's telling me about his latest hook up. It's a story I feel like I've heard before so I'm not paying attention. I can see Vic. I need to tell him. But he's eyeing up a blonde, skinny woman. She has to be blonde and skinny. Before he goes over and they talk. Alan is gesturing wildly with his hands but when I see him go off with her I snap. He's not for her. I saw him first.
"Al', I need to go," I rushed. Alan watched me as I hurried away from him. I tried to walk quickly the way Vic had. I get so far when I find myself met with a large group of fans. They all start screaming at me and my eyes widen.
"Zandra!" one of them scream. I turn and wave a little.
"When's Mike's baby due!" someone else yells.
"It's not Mike's!" I yell back.
"Who's is it?!"
"Vic's!" I declare. Maybe I shouldn't have said that but I don't care. They're all gossiping now and typing away on their phones. I see the woman Vic went off with walking away. I ignore her and go to Pierce The Veil's bus.
Inside I can't see Vic so I go to the bathroom. Without knocking I opened the door. Vic was washing his hands. When I walked inside he widened his eyes at me. I shut the door behind me and I suddenly realised how little room there was in here.
"What are you doing here?" he sighed tiredly.
"To talk to you," I fumed. "You're going to listen to me Victor Fuentes,"
"Okay,"
"You can't tell me you love me and then go back to ignoring me. So just stop, Vic. I am not in love with Austin Carlile!"
"You are," he countered.
"No, I'm not. I was. But I'm not anymore,"
"Oh, and what proof do you have?"
"I have none," I said awkwardly.
"So how can you come and tell me all this then?"
"I love you, you idiot!" I yelled. Vic looked at me for a while and frowned. Is this not getting through? Vic looks really surprised. So I went forward and leant up. I kissed him passionately, my arms sliding around his neck.
But he didn't kiss me back. I did the only thing I could. I backed away from him.
"Why didn't you kiss me back?" I mumbled.
"You're lying," he sighed.
"What?"
"You're lying. You don't love me, Zee,"
"Then why the hell did I just risk labour following you?!" I demanded.
"Sorry Zandra. I just can't believe you," Vic frowned.
"Why not?" I looked down.
"Because you always make me believe you like me. Then when I think there might be something between us you tell me it's wrong,"
"You think I go round sleeping with men I don't even like?"
"I don't know," Vic sighed.
"Wow, thanks," I replied dryly.
"I didn't mean it like that," he growled. "You liked Austin when we slept together. You wished it was him. You'd rather be pregnant with his child,"
"Actually, despite popular belief, I'd rather not be pregnant at all. It's really fucking up my life, but you can't see that," I rushed. "And I liked Austin. So what? You can't go a day without liking someone that isn't me,"
"That isn't true,"
"You told me you loved me!" I screamed.
"I know, but-"
"There's a but? Sorry if I interpreted your signals wrong, Vic. But when a guy says he loves you he normally means it," Vic went to say something but I put a hand up to silence him. "I've had enough of your shit. I'm going,"
"Where are you going?" he sighed.
"Away from you," I glared at him. And I opened the door and walked off of the bus. Wow, that really hurt.

Notes

Hey! What did you think? Vic loves Zandra. Zandra loves Austin. Zandra realises she doesn't love Austin, she loves Vic. Zandra tells Vic and then he shoots her down. Typical love story, right? What do you think will happen? :)