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Break the Barricade

Thea

I have been here for more than a week. There are no words that can express my hatred for this place. It is even worse than I remembered. They wake me up at seven and make notes about me. Then I go for breakfast. I'll have some kind of therapy. After lunch I meet with my psychiatrist before I have more therapy. I have dinner and spend some time in my room before I take the meds. I hate the meds. I have no trouble sleeping. They just dish them out so the night staff don't have too much to deal with.
My favourite part of the day is meeting my psychiatrist. Not because I enjoy opening up or I find it therapeutic. But my psychiatrist lets me smoke in his office.
I'm allowed one phone call a day. It's usually used up for Vic and I'm occasionally passed onto Jaime. Where we take our phone calls is a little secluded. There are cubicle style booths with cord phones sitting on a small shelf.
I sat in one of the cubicles and wound my finger around the phone cord. I dialled Vic's cell number and bit down on my lip. I miss him so much, just the sound of his voice. I can never get enough of it when we have our phone calls.
"Hey." Vic said down the phone.
"Hi, Vic. It's Thea." I replied. "How are you?"
"I'm fine," he rushed. "How are you?"
"I'm okay. I can't wait to see you again. I'm sick of this place. Less than one week left though." I said.
"I miss you too." he sighed.
"What's been happening there? Any tour stories?" I asked.
"Um no..." he trailed away.
"There must be something."
"Nothing. Just on the bus, then soundcheck, then playing shows." he told me awkwardly.
"Well, what did you do on your day off the other day?" I asked.
"The guys all went out."
"Did you?"
"No, I stayed on the bus... But I didn't do anything!"
"Okay, Vic," I frowned. "If you went out, that's okay. You're allowed to go to clubs."
"I didn't."
"Oh, okay. Are you sure you're okay? You seem like you're acting a little... odd."
"I'm not. Everything's fine."
"You promise?"
"Yeah."
"Remember we said no lies. I told you about me."
"I promise." he said.
"Okay, I should go. But I love you."
"Me too." Vic replied.
"So, bye."
"Bye Thea." he said and hung up on me. I sat back in the booth and glared down at the floor.
What's wrong with Vic? Is it something I've done? It must be me. He's obviously isn't fine. It must be me. He's sick of having a girlfriend who's too busy being locked away in a hospital than being with him. I'm a rubbish girlfriend. I can't hug him and hold him when he's feeling sad. I can't even kiss him. Vic needs me kissing him. Or he needs someone.
I got up and walked out of the cubicle. I didn't even know where I was going really. I was just walking. There wasn't that many place to go either. I didn't talk to any of the other patients. Some of them even scared me a little. I found myself heading to my psychiatrist's office. I knocked the door and waited. He opened the door and his eyes widened.
"Yes, Thea?" he asked.
"Are you busy?" I asked tightly.
"No, please come in." he urged.
"Thanks." I mumbled.
I went inside and he closed the door behind me. He went over to his desk and sat behind it. I walked over and saw the shiny plaque on his desk reading 'Dr David Jasper'. I picked it up and threw it to the other side of the room.
"Sit down please." David asked calmly.
"I don't want to." I snapped.
"Please." he urged.
I huffed and fell back into the chair. He held out a pack of cigarettes and offered me one. I took it and he offered me a lighter. I lit up and he reclined back into the chair. I tucked my knees up to my chin and took a long drag. I closed my eyes and flexed my neck.
"Want to tell me why you came in here and destroyed my plaque - which only came last week by the way?"
"No." I grumbled.
"Okay, that's fine." he shrugged. "We can just sit here," he said making me roll my eyes. "Want to tell me what you're feeling right now?" David asked. I took one last long drag and he pushed an ashtray towards me. I stubbed out my cigarette and sat back in my chair.
"I feel angry."
"Do you want to tell my why?"
"No." I shook my head violently.
"Okay, is the anger mild, moderate, or of a high level?"
"Moderate." I replied.
"Okay, can you close your eyes for me?" he asked. I closed them and sighed. "Did you have a childhood pet, Thea?"
"Yeah, I had a dog called Suggs." I replied.
"Imagine Suggs running. He's standing in between you and the cause of your anger. He's protecting you. He's barking and chasing them away," David explained. "Now is your anger fading?"
"It is." I nodded.
"Is it gone?"
"Yeah." I told him. I opened my eyes and saw him smiling at me. "How did you do that?" I asked.
"I didn't. It was all you."
"Really?" I asked.
"Of course. Now are you having any bad thoughts? Any urges to hurt yourself or other people?"
"Not anymore. Before I was split between being angry and wanting to cut."
"But it's gone now?"
"Yeah." I replied.
"Good, now how are you?"
"I spoke to my boyfriend on the phone."
"Is that what made you angry?" he asked.
"Yeah, I..."
"Yes, Thea?" he urged.
"It's my boyfriend, Vic."
"Is everything okay with Vic?" he asked gently.
"No," I shook my head. "He's hiding something from me."
"Do you know what that may be?"
"I think he cheated on me." I said and I knew I believed it.

Notes

Hey everyone! Did I trick you into thinking you got another chapter? Sorry to disappoint! But we discovered the timing didn't make sense. We've fixed it now so everything's in order. Simone should be updating soon! Then it'll be my turn like normal again. Did anyone miss me? I missed you! :)
- Kelci

Comments

Please update soon :)

iateurdino iateurdino
12/16/14

@CassiePTV
Ahh we're sorry!

WriteIsLife WriteIsLife
8/6/14

I'M DYINGGG

CassiePTV CassiePTV
8/6/14

C:

HelloKittyPTV HelloKittyPTV
8/5/14

@PierceTheVictoria
Thank you so much! Good, 200 is crazy! We're both so happy you love our story enough to subscribe! :)

WriteIsLife WriteIsLife
8/4/14