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Break the Barricade

Vic

They were all just staring at me. I didn’t know what was worse; the fact that they caught me or that nobody was talking. Everyone seemed frozen and time seemed to pass slower. I could see the way everyone looked at me. Disappointment, pain, sadness, regret, anger, shock. It was all painted on their faces.
“Vic,” Kellin managed to choke out. That seemed to wake everyone from their state of shock and suddenly everyone was talking.
“Oh my God.”
“What’s going on?”
“Fuck. Vic, you okay?”
“What? Why?”
“What’s happening here?”
“Shit. Oh my God no.”
“Fuck. Guys shit, someone grab that razor from him. It’s still in his hand!”
I didn’t even know what was said by who. Everything was just too overwhelming for me. I let the razor fall on the floor and jumped up. I took a sprint towards the door, pushing everyone aside. My hand reached the doorknob, but before I could open the door someone grabbed my wrist. I yelped in pain and I tried to push them away, but their grip was too strong.
“Vic, calm down,” I heard Jaime say softly. I realized he was the one stopping me from running away.
Once again I tried to make him let me go, but he just tightened his grip.
“Let me go,” I growled. But Jaime was stronger than me and I couldn’t break free.
Everyone had shut up again by now and they were just back to staring at me again. I looked at Jaime helplessly.
“Let me go,” I begged him. “I need to get out of here.”
“Everyone get the fuck out!” Mike shouted angrily. “Get the fuck out of this bus! It’s not a damn freak show.”
Nice to know I was a freak. That was nothing new to me though. But it worked. Within a minute the other bands had left and I was left alone with Jaime, Tony and my brother.
Jaime finally let go of my wrist. I pulled my hand back and I tried to run away again. This time Mike stopped me. He grabbed my left arm, careful not to rub any cuts, and dragged me away from the door.
“You,” he said, “are not going anywhere.” He really sounded pissed off.
“We need to bandage this,” Tony mumbled. Jaime nodded in agreement.
“Bathroom,” Mike told me. “Now.”
He let go of me and I didn’t try to run away this time. Things were slowly starting to sink in and the panicky feeling was being replaced by guilt. I broke my promise and I lied. Of course Mike was angry.
I held my gaze to the floor while I walked to the bathroom. My stomach was tied in forty different knots and my arms were stinging like crazy. But I guess I just got what I wanted. Even though I had no idea why I wanted it now.
“I’ll do it,” I heard Jaime whisper in the background. “You sit down and calm down.”
His footsteps followed me and he reached the bathroom door just after me. He opened the door and motioned me to go in. I sighed and sat down on the closed toilet seat.
My eyes were still locked on the floor, but I could hear Jaime rummaging through the cabinets.
Then I heard him ran the tap. His feet appeared in front of me on the floor and he sank through his knees so that his eyes were at my level. It was hard to avoid his gaze now and I found myself looking straight into his eyes. He handed me a wet flannel.
“Clean it,” he said. He didn’t sound angry or disappointed or anything like that. He just sounded friendly.
“Thanks,” I mumbled. Jaime was watching me as I carefully wiped the dried blood off my arms. Last time this happened Thea cleaned my mess for me, but honestly I didn’t expect Jaime to do the same anyway. I was already thankful enough Mike wasn’t with me right now. That wouldn’t have made things easier.
When I was done cleaning Jaime took the flannel from me. He got up again and his feet disappeared out of my sight for a second. I heard Jaime rummaging through the cabinets again and then his feet came back again. This time he didn’t lower himself. He gently took my right arm instead and started bandaging it. When he was done he did the same with my left arm. I pulled my own sleeves back down. When I’d look at my arms now it’d seem like nothing happened.
Jaime offered me his hand to help me up, but I just ignored it. He sighed.
“Come on Vic, you’ll need to face him eventually,” he told me.
I shrugged. “That doesn’t need to be now,” I said with a pinched voice.
“You’re right, you can also postpone it for a few minutes. But what is the use of that?” he asked. “Come on Vic, it’ll be fine.”
“I’m not moving,” I mumbled.
“Fine,” Jaime grumbled. “Have it your way. I’ll be right back.”
Like I expected, he went to get Tony and Mike. Within no time I found three pairs of feet in front of me.
“Care to explain yourself?” Mike’s voice asked angrily.
“What should I explain? How fucked up I am? Or how my girlfriend is miles away from me right now because she beat someone up? Or how sometimes I want to cut myself for no good reason at all?” I asked bitterly.
“How about why you broke your promise? And why you lied to me?” His voice was still angry, but I could hear some form of caring in there too. “And look at me while you’re telling me!”
But I just bit my lip and shook my head. I couldn’t face him right now. I just couldn’t.
“You know what?” he exclaimed angrily. “Whatever. I can’t do a damn thing about this anyway.”
He stomped out of the room, leaving me with Tony and Jaime.
“Just ignore him,” Tony tried making me feel better.
“Yeah,” Jaime agreed. “You know that he’ll be more reasonable tomorrow.”
“Maybe, but if he isn’t I can’t blame him,” I said quietly. “I’m truly a fuck-up aren’t I?”
“You aren’t,” Tony simply said.
“You’re just having a tough time,” Jaime added. “You aren’t a fuck-up.”
I shrugged. “I just want to sleep everything off,” I mumbled.
“Alright,” Jaime said. “Sleep then. Don’t worry too much. Everything will be okay.”
I nodded, even though I didn’t believe him. Not much else was said after that. I went to my bunk as fast as I could. As soon as I closed my eyes, I quickly fell asleep. As long as I slept, everything was okay.

Notes

Heey,
So there's lots of stuff going on right now, what do you think of it all?

Thank you for reading :)

-Simone

Comments

Please update soon :)

iateurdino iateurdino
12/16/14

@CassiePTV
Ahh we're sorry!

WriteIsLife WriteIsLife
8/6/14

I'M DYINGGG

CassiePTV CassiePTV
8/6/14

C:

HelloKittyPTV HelloKittyPTV
8/5/14

@PierceTheVictoria
Thank you so much! Good, 200 is crazy! We're both so happy you love our story enough to subscribe! :)

WriteIsLife WriteIsLife
8/4/14