Break the Barricade

Everything is getting worse. It's like my life is a roller coaster that only goes down. I can't let Vic know that though. He'll think I'm crazy. He has his own problems, if he realises that I'm getting bad then he won't want to be with me. He'll want someone normal. How can I tell him? There's no nice way to say, when anyone other than you and Jaime step in a ten feet distance of me I want to break their nose. I'm just so angry all of the time.
The only thing that makes everything better is Vic. He's good for me. I just don't know if I'm good for him. I don't want to stress him out too much and for him to hurt himself. When I'm in his arms I feel so mellow.
I looked up and saw Tony heading out of the bus door. He was going to watch the Sleeping With Sirens guys have their sound check. I stood up and Vic's eyes followed me. I went to get a bottle of water. There was no one else in the front lounge so I came and sat myself down in Vic's lap. I took a sip of my water and rested my head on Vic's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me lightly and I smiled against his shoulder.
"Vic." I whispered softly.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"You're my favourite person."
"You're mine." he laughed a little.
"Isn't that what people say before they think it's okay to say I love you?" I asked.
"I don't know." Vic said. "We can pretend it is."
"I like that idea." I replied. I reached up to kiss his lips gently before I buried my face in the crook of his neck.
"What's wrong?" Vic asked carefully.
"I couldn't even tell you. I just like being close to you." I muttered. "Vic."
"Hmm?"
"Kiss me please." I said. Vic took my face in his hands and gently kissed my lips.
"You're my favourite person." he told me.
"You too." I smiled. "I need to go and check some stuff out with the tech. I promised I would."
"You could stay here?" Vic offered.
"No, I should go." I sighed. I pecked him on the lips and got up. I walked over to the bus door and went out.
I started to walk towards the venue. I showed my badge to security and they let me inside. As I walked I checked my phone. More hate. I shoved it in my pocket to try to pretend it wasn't happening. After walking away from the bus though I felt everything come back. The anger.
I went to the green room to drop off my jacket. I left it on the couch and went back out towards sound check. I stopped at a set of doors to see a woman guarding them. "Hi." I smiled.
"Have you got a pass?" she asked.
"Yeah." I said and searched my pockets. But it wasn't there. It must be in my jacket pocket. "I left it-"
"You've lost it." she snapped. I frowned at her and sighed.
"No, I've just left it in the green room. If I go back and get it will you let me through?"
"You can't wonder the building without a pass." she explained.
"Look," I breathed deeply through my nose. "Can I just go to sound check? If you ask any of the band they'll tell you who I am."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you in." she said flatly.
"Can you move?" I said angrily. "Right now you're stopping me from doing my job."
"And if I allowed you to enter then I wouldn't be doing my job."
"Fucking hell." I muttered. I was finding it hard to control myself. I was already so angry before I met this woman. "I get you're doing a job but I need to be in there."
"Miss, I'm going to ask you to leave." she said.
"No!" I snapped. "I know you're proud of what you do and that having that shiny security badge probably makes you think you have super powers. But I don't care. Now let me get through!" I growled.
My fists were clenched at my sides. I was shaking. I couldn't stop myself much longer. I was so close to snapping. I need Vic. Having Jaime here might even help me. I shouldn't be in this situation, I don't have the willpower to walk away though.
I took a step forwards and the woman stepped up to push me back. She held my arm with her hand. I glared down at it and my jaw clenched. "Let go of me." I spat. I was trying to remain calm but it was so difficult. "Take your hand off of me now."
"Miss, you need to leave."
"Let go of me." I repeated dangerously.
"I will if you leave." she said.
"I'm going to ask you one more time." I said angrily. I couldn't even see properly. My vision was cloudy. My eyes were glazing over. This hadn't happened in so long.
"I'm sorry-" she said but couldn't finish.
My other hand had balled into fist and smashed it's way into her nose. The woman let go and stepped back. She looked at me and gasped. I didn't wait, I hit her again, this time in the jaw. It had started. I don't think I could stop it now, even if I wanted to. Her nose was bleeding and so was her lip from the next punch. I took hold of her hair and pulled her head back. I pushed her up against the wall. I held her shoulder as I hit her over and over again in her face and head. Then i moved to her torso. She was gasping for air. When I stepped away from her she fell down onto the floor.
"Stop." she managed to get out. Her voice was so weak and small. It was pathetic.
"I can't." I shook my head and smiled sickeningly. Even my own actions disgusted me. But I literally couldn't stop.
I started to knee her in the face over and over again. I stamped my foot down on her knees again and again. I heard her scream but I didn't care. I was blocking it out. I leant down and looked at her bloody face. I kissed her cheek gently before I glared at her.
"You bitch." I spat.
Then I kicked her sideways so she was lying down. She was trying to hold her stomach. But I was kicking her arms away. I was kicking her over again and over again the the stomach. She could break ribs and I wouldn't care. I turned her over and started to dig into her back. She was screaming.
Were there cameras here? I hadn't even thought about it. Part of me isn't even worried about the consequences. That part is slowly growing bigger and bigger the more blood I see on her squashed up face.
"Thea!" someone yelled. It made me falter. I used my hands to lean up against the wall, over her body. I looked and saw Tony running towards me.
"Don't stop me." I said through gritted teeth and grabbed her hair again.
"Thea, you're killing her!" he gasped. "Please, stop."
"I can't." I muttered.
"Stop for us." he tried.
"No." I said flatly. My grip of her hair tightened, making her whimper. Tony's eyes darted around and before I could react he ran to me and pulled me off of her. "Let go!" I yelled angrily. He held me tightly so I couldn't get away.
"Jaime!" Tony yelled. I was struggling against him. I was clawing at his hands and arms. The doors opened and Jaime appeared with Alex.
"Fucking hell." Alex muttered.
"Thea, you didn't." Jaime said. I looked down. I was still angry. Tony's grip on he had loosened and I was able to get away and back to the woman. Jaime ran to he and grabbed me around my middle. "I'm not letting you do this." he snapped.
"I'm not finished!" I screamed.
"You are now." he said firmly. I kicked him in the stomach and he dropped me. Jaime grabbed my arms before I could move and Jaime ran to get my feet.
"What shall I do?" Alex asked urgently.
"Get Vic and then call an ambulance." Jaime told him. Alex ran away but I was trying to hard to get free. They were carrying me down the hall.
"Put me down, you bastards!" I screamed. One of the doors opened and Jaime let me go, making me fall show into the floor. I glared back at them. Tony hurried out of the room and Jaime hovered in the doorway.
"I'm sorry, Thea. Just calm down." he sighed. The door shut and I glared at the place.
I ran over to the table and swept it clean of everything. I picked up one of the chairs and smashed it down onto the floor. It broke and I smiled with satisfaction. "Ugh!" I screamed and I threw the broken parts at a mirror that was on the wall. My fucking head, it's all closing in.

Notes

Hey! This was the big chapter that we're both really excited about! What did you think? Thea as snapped. She's gone out of control. What do you think about what she did? What will happen? What will everyone think? Please give us your feedback on this one because we're both really happy with the way this story is coming along :)