I inhaled deeply, taking a long, deep drag from my cigarette. I held it in until I exhaled and the smoke whirled up overhead. I took another drag and felt someone sit down next to me. I looked around and saw Mike. I rolled my eyes and ignored him.
"I need to talk to you," he said abruptly.
"About?" I snapped. We still weren't on good terms.
"A few things. Vic. But maybe we should start with you making out with Jack,"
"Are you trying to be funny? I'm not talking about any of this with you. It's none of your business," I replied quickly.
"When you kissing Jack makes my brother so sad he tears into his skin, it becomes my business,"
"If we're talking about who's to blame let's talk about how you shouting at Vic made him scratch his cuts open,"
"He did that?" Mike asked weakly. I nodded silently in reply. Mike held his head in his hands for a minute. "Why did you do it?" Mike asked without looking up.
"I've told Vic this,"
"I'm asking," Mike snapped.
"Jack wouldn't leave me alone. If I kissed I'm he would,"
"But why let Vic see? Are you fucking stupid?"
"Mike, if I knew he was there . . ." I trailed away.
"Do you like him?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "I like someone else more though,"
"Who?"
"I don't want to tell you," I frowned.
"I know someone who likes you,"
"Who?"
"I don't want to tell you," Mike copied me.
"So," I muttered. "Are you going to say sorry to me?" I asked.
"Me?" he laughed. "No. You should be saying sorry,"
"Not to you," I snapped.
"I thought we got past the angry tantrums, Thea?"
"Apparently not," I rolled my eyes.
"What's wrong with you?" he sighed tiredly.
"That people forget," I stood up. I pinched the bridge of my nose and took deep breaths.
"Understand what?"
"That I have problems too!" I exclaimed.
"What kind of problems?"
"It doesn't even matter," I shook my head. "I'll see you later," I told him.
I turned and walked back inside the bus. I passed some of the guys and went through to the bunks. I crawled into mine and shut the curtain. I sat back against the wall and sighed.
I could have told him everything. But I didn't. I couldn't do that to anyone. It'd be too selfish. Vic is the important one. He's going through so much more than I am.
My curtain drew back and I saw Vic. I forced a smile and he tilted his head to the side at me. "You okay?" Vic asked.
"Fine," I nodded.
"Mike didn't say anything to you, did he?"
"No. I'm fantastic, Vic. I promise," I lied through my teeth.
"Okay, I'll be in the front lounge," he told me and shut my curtain.
My phone started ringing. I held it up and frowned at the number. I answered and reluctantly held it to my ear.
"Yeah?" I asked tiredly.
"It's me," his voice answered. "It's Jay,"
"I know," I grumbled. "What do you want?"
"Manners go a long way, Thea," he shot back.
"Is that why you haven't got anywhere in life?" I mocked.
"And who's fault is that?"
"Not mine," I laughed.
"Besides, I got you,"
"Congratulations for grabbing me for eighteen months," I replied dryly.
"Look just shut up," he sighed.
"What?"
"I need all my college papers. They won't give me a job without them,"
"I burned them,"
"Fuck off. Just drop them to mine,"
"I can't. I'm on tour,"
"You actually found a band willing to put up with you," he mocked.
"Stop," I warned. "So," I murmured. "Are you seeing anyone?"
"You're serious?" Jay laughed. "I am. She's lovely. No backlog of shit behind her. Normal. Just normal,"
"Are you saying I wasn't?" I asked weakly. I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier. Sadder and sadder.
"You wasn't," Jay said. "Look just get them to me by next month," he finished and hung up. I bit down on my lip hard. I threw my phone down the bunk and curled my legs up to my chest. I hugged them and started to cry. I didn't like crying. I hated it. But it's all I can do right now to not hurt myself. There's no many options for me. Cutting seems ideal. But a lighter, a elastic band. I would do anything right now. I just want it to stop. I hated I was sobbing. It's ugly and pathetic and horrible.
"Bitch," I said through tears. "Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch." I chanted under my breath.
My curtain was drew back. I inhaled sharply and closed my eyes. "Don't look at me," I hissed. "Don't fucking look at me,"
"Thea," I heard Vic say. My eyes shot open and I saw his face. He looked so sad.
"I'm okay," I rushed.
"You're not," he sighed. Vic climbed in and drew the curtain shut behind him. He sat close to me and wrapped his arm around me. I leant against him and rested my head against his chest. I was still crying now, but calming down. Vic rubbed my back and was stroking my hair. "What's wrong?" Vic asked gently.
"Nothing. I'm fine. Is your arm healing okay?"
"Thea, we're not talking about me now. Not when you're upset,"
"I'm not upset,"
"You could have fooled me. Now, what's up?"
"It isn't even important," I tried.
"Why not?"
"You're more important. This doesn't even matter,"
"What makes you think that? If it's made you cry it's important,"
"My ex phoned me," I explained.
"Oh," he replied and nodded in understanding.
"He told me . . ."
"What?"
"That I'm not normal," I muttered.
"Of course you're normal. You're better than normal,"
"I'm not," I shook my head. "I have things Vic,"
"That's okay," he soothed. "That doesn't make you better than normal. You're perfect, Thea," Vic eventually said. I looked up at him and frowned.
"Thanks," I nodded. But he's wrong. He's so so wrong. The scars on my body, open wounds in my heart and dark ditches in my head prove him wrong.

Notes

Hey! What did you think? What do you think went down with Thea and Jay? Any predictions with Thea and Vic? And if you read any of my other stories - sorry I haven't updated. I'll update when I can :)
- Kelci