I had no idea how much time we spent in that bathroom. Every once in a while Thea would try to convince me to go back to the van, but I kept refusing. I was so thankful for Thea’s presence. She was there for me at a moment when I needed someone the most and words couldn’t describe how much that meant to me. But I think she knew.
The bathroom door suddenly opened and I found Mike standing in the doorway. I bit my lip and I wanted to ran off again, to whatever place Mike couldn’t find me. But Thea grabbed my hand and prevented me from leaving.
“What do you want?” she asked Mike in a threatening tone.
Mike shrugged. “I just want to talk with Vic. Alone.”
Thea glared at him. “You can’t, you’re just going to hurt him more. Let him be.”
“No, he’s my brother and I want to talk to him.”
“God damn it guys,” I swore quietly. “Don’t I have a say in this? Maybe you both think I’m weak as fuck but I’m still able to decide for myself.”
Thea’s face softened. “Sorry Vic. What do you want?”
I sighed. What did I want? I wanted everything to be okay. I certainly did not want Mike to be mad at me. We needed this talk.
“I’ll talk with him,” I mumbled. Thea nodded silently and she walked out after giving Mike one more threatening look. I thought she was going to break him if he hurt me.
For a few seconds both Mike and me remained silent. “Damn it,” Mike suddenly cursed. “I don’t even know what to say. You are my brother and I don’t even know what to say to you.”
I just shrugged. My stomach seriously hurt. I had never felt this far away from my brother in my entire life. It was only then that I realized I was the one that made us drift this far apart.
“I shouldn’t have lied,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“I shouldn’t have yelled,” Mike replied and then he suddenly broke down into tears. The last time I saw my brother cry was when we were still kids. He never cried. Seeing Mike like this tore me apart on the inside. I knew I was to blame.
I softly pulled him into an embrace and I let my younger brother cry on my shoulder. Every now and then he tried to say something between the sobs, but at some point he gave up. We had been standing there for a while when Mike finally pulled away. He wiped his tears away with the back of his hand and he bit his lip.
“It’s just-,” he closed his eyes and breathed in slowly. “It’s just that it hurts so much to see you like this. I want to help you, but you won’t let me. It hurts so fucking much.”
I didn’t know what to say. Mike cared so much and I only saw that now. Before I could say something Mike continued.
“To know that at any time of the day, at any given moment, you could be hurting yourself, while I am just talking with people and having fun hurts so much. And I can never do anything about it because you never tell us,” he said softly. He was almost whispering. “Do you have any idea how hard that is Vic? I see how my brother is dying on the inside a little bit more every day and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“I’m sorry,” was all I managed to say. Why didn’t I think of Mike before? I never took this into consideration. I had been denying him the chance of helping me all along. Fuck, I understood why he was so angry earlier.
Mike pulled me into another hug. “Just let us in from now on okay? We all care about you so much.”
I nodded and then realized he couldn’t see that as we were hugging. “Okay,” I said. This time I meant it. I wanted to get better. If not for myself, then for Mike. He didn’t deserve any of the shit he got because of me. I pulled away again.
Mike looked me straight into my eyes. His eyes were red and puffy, but they also looked happier than earlier. “I have to ask you one thing though,” he said softly. I knew what was coming and I was right. “Why? What happened that made you do this?” He gestured to my arm.
“It was no-“ I started, but Mike stopped me.
“You said you were going to be honest. Just spill.”
I nodded. I could trust Mike with this. “I like Thea,” I told him.
Mike smiled. “I already guess that. The way you look at her, it’s just cute.”
“Shut up.”
“Seriously though, what does you liking her have to do with that?” he gestured towards my arm again.
“I saw her kissing Jack,” I said quietly. “I went looking for her yesterday at the party and then I found the two of them making out. I just couldn’t handle it. I’m so weak.”
“She kissed Jack,” Mike stated. “Why the fuck did she do that?”
I shrugged. “She said she doesn’t like him.”
“Then she shouldn’t be kissing him,” Mike said seriously. “And Vic, I don’t think you are weak. Maybe you lost a few matches, but you didn’t lose the battle. And from now on you have us to support you. Only if you let us though. So please just let us.”
I nodded. “I’ll let you in,” I told him. “I promise.”
And this time I meant it.

Notes

And this time I'm not just in time, I'm early!
What do you think? Is Vic actually going to get better?

I am so happy about the comments we get, thank you so much!

-Simone