I raised my eyebrows up at Jack. He closed the bus door behind him and walked over to me. Jack stopped in front of me and smirked. I drew my eyes down and put my hand on my hip. "So, where is it?" I asked.
"Where's what?" Jack frowned.
"The present you got me. The reason I agreed to come back to your bus," I rolled my eyes.
"Aren't I enough, Thea?" Jack teased.
"No," I smiled and looked sideways at him. Jack shook his head and threw something at me. I caught it and looked at it. It was just a pack of smokes. "This is what you dragged me over for?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "So do I get a kiss?"
"I'm not falling for that again," I laughed.
"I'll behave,"
"You never behave,"
"That's true," he shrugged. "Come on, a kiss. I know you like me,"
"I don't like you,"
"You do," he countered.
"Okay, but I like someone else more,"
"Who?"
"Not telling," I shook my head.
"Then you can see who's the better kisser,"
"I don't think he likes me back,"
"How? You're so-"
"Choose your words carefully," I warned.
"Please," he tried.
"Fine," I sighed. I went to the couch and Jack joined me. He sat close to me and started to lean in. I met him. Jack kissed me hungrily but I kissed him back for a short while before I pulled away.
"Thea, I want a real kiss,"
"That was a real one,"
"A steamy make out session and I'll leave you alone,"
"What do you mean?" I narrowed my eyes.
"No following you or tricking you or eyeing you up,"
"Promise?"
"Promise," he nodded. I went to lean back in. Jack took my arms and wrapped them around his neck. Jack started kissing me eagerly and I kissed back. I don't know how long we'd been making out, I was just thinking about how I would rather be kissing someone else.
The door slammed and I looked up. Someone had obviously looked in. I pushed Jack away and peered through the window. I saw Vic running back to our bus. "Shit," I hissed.
"What?"
"Vic saw us,"
"So?"
"So I didn't want him to," I sighed. I went to go to the bus door but Jack stopped me.
"Leave him,"
"No," I shook my head. I pulled away from Jack and hurried off of the bus.
When I got to the Pierce The Veil bus I walked slowly inside. I didn't want to hurt him even more. I could see the bathroom door wide open. I walked over and stopped in the doorway. I was paralysed by what I saw. This isn't happening. It can't be. Vic isn't like that. He was sat on the floor with his arm laid out, the beautiful tanned skin littered with fresh, raw, angry cuts. They didn't look right on him. How could he do this? They ran, shooting like fireworks over slightly scarred skin.
"Vic," I said weakly. His eyes opened and he looked up. I could see the shock and disappointment in his eyes. I could see the razor still in his hand. I rushed over and snatched it from him. "What do you think you're fucking doing?!" I screamed. I threw the razor out of the bathroom. Vic tried to move but I stopped him. I fell down onto my knees and held my head in my hands. I was crying now too.
"Thea," Vic tried.
"Stop," I silenced him. "Just stop," I sighed. I brought my head up and had to bite my lip when I looked at his arm.
"I'm sorry," Vic cried. I went over to him and wrapped my arms around him. Vic rested his head against my chest. I stroked his hair and sighed. "I'm sorry," he repeated.
"I know," I mumbled. I stood up and Vic watched me. I grabbed a flannel and ran it under the tap. Then I went back down to Vic. "Give me your arm," I ordered.
"What?"
"You've cut your arm to bits. If you don't clean it it'll get infected," I explained. He brought his arm forward and I held it gently. I brought the flannel down and heard Vic gasp. "I'm sorry," I added. I started to clean his arm and searched under the sink for some bandages. I found them and wrapped his arm up tightly.
"You looked after me," Vic noted.
"Yeah," I agreed. Vic stood up and sat down on the closed toilet seat. I bent down and washed the blood from the floor. When I had finished I went to wipe Vic's blood from my hands. "Do the guys know?" I asked. I couldn't look him in the eye right now.
"Yeah," Vic replied. "You probably think I'm a freak now," he added bitterly.
"I could never think that," I quickly said.
"I'm sorry,"
"Stop saying sorry," I snapped. "It's happened,"
"I'm a fuck up,"
"Why did you do it?"
"I don't know," he shrugged.
"You do," I shot back. Vic looked down and I got down in front of him. "Was it me? Because I kissed Jack," I asked. Vic didn't say anything but after a while reluctantly nodded. "I'm so sorry," I rushed. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me. It was me. It was all my fault. I'm the trigger of his gun.
"I knew it would happen. It isn't your fault,"
"It is," I rushed. "I don't even like Jack,"
"Then why did you kiss him?" Vic retorted.
"Because he promised to leave me alone for a while," I explained. Vic was looked away from me now and I saw him wring his hands together. "You'll be okay," I told him. Vic nodded silently and I stood up. "You need to sleep," I told him. I took him out to the bunks and watched him lie down. "I promise I don't like Jack,"
"Thea, are you going to tell anyone?" Vic finally asked.
"That would be stupid," I stated.
"Is this freaking you out?"
"Nothing freaks me out. Go to sleep," I urged. Vic lay back still in his clothes. I drew his curtain.
Then on my way back to the bathroom I picked up his razor. I set it back in the bathroom and walked back to the back lounge. I locked the door behind me and slumped over. I flicked the case off of my phone and took the cool blade between my finger tips.
It was my fault. It was all my fault. I slid my shorts down brought the blade down in fast, hard slashes on my thighs. I didn't count, I just kept going until I was satisfied. I knew I deserved every one. I could make my self destruction sound so poetic and beautiful. I could even make it sound romantic. But it wasn't. Self destruction isn't pretty. It's painful and heart wrenching and fucking disgusting.
The edge of my blade was stained red, as were my thighs. I took some tissues and clumsily tidied myself up. I know tissue isn't the best choice, but it's all I have. They could probably use bandaging but I'd rather not. I never do, no matter how deep.
I pulled myself up and went from the back lounge to my bunk. I changed behind the closed curtain and felt the fabric pressing against my fresh cuts. There's not much I can do now. I just lay back and preyed to God I could sleep. Stupid bitch.

Notes

Hey! What did you think? Now you know about Thea? Who was expecting that? Will Thea tell Vic? Predictions? :)