“W-what?” I stammered. I didn’t expect that I would meet Mike today and I didn’t expect that Mike would walk me home and I didn’t for THIS to happen. I didn’t know what Val was talking about. What did I do again?

“Val, what are you talking about? Please, tell me. I have no—”

But sadly, before I could even finish my sentence, she interrupted. “Oh for fuck’s sake!” she screamed as she stood up while rolling her eyes, looking as if she was tired with my bullshit although I was the one who should be mad because I clearly remember that she was the one who made me believe Mike might have fallen for me yet she was the one who was flirting with him on the next day.

I was surprised by her sudden outburst. I felt guilty even though I didn’t know what for.
She then stopped for a while a she stared at the floor.

“Val?” I managed to let out a squeak. “Valerie?”

“Forget it,” she said. Her voice was soft now. “I am the stupid one here.”

She turned around to get upstairs but I wouldn’t let my sister just scream at me like that without even knowing the reason. Sure, every other normal sibling would think it would be normal. But it wasn’t normal to me. I love Val and I like Mike but she liked Mike too.

“Val, please stop,” I said.

I didn’t expect her to stop but she did. She didn’t turn around though. She just stood there, on the stairs, her back facing me.

“I just wanted to know one thing,” I began. With a deep breath, I asked, “Why do you call me a liar? What did I do again?”

She didn’t answer. Silence filled the hallway. After what felt like forever, she finally responded with a soft voice. “Remember when you, Blaise and I used to hang out?”

“Yeah.”

Well I did. We would always hang out together ever since we were kids and even though Blaise and I agreed that Val is a girl and Val shouldn’t play with us because we’re boys, Val actually gave reasons why we should hang out with her. “I’m a girl so if you guys need any girls help, you can ask me. And Tony likes boys too, that doesn’t make him a girl, does he?”

And that was how the three of us became close.

“Remember when you told me that you like him?”

I paused for a while to think. I forgot what happened as I’ve already gotten over Blaise. But I did remember that it was because of that we actually stopped hanging out together. Val had spent the first 3 days in her room, listening to loud pop songs and Blaise and I just got bored without her but we eventually got used to it. Val had told us that her friend might think of her wrongly if she kept on hanging with two guys so we let it be.

But that was when it hit me hard.

Oh my god.

‘Please don’t tell me it’s true,’ my breath hitched as the most horrible thought came across my mind.

“Do you,” I couldn’t continue my question but I decided that I should because I want this argument to end. “Dd you like him?”

“And you just figured that out?” she asked angrily as she turned around. She was in tears. She was already crying. “Because of you, I spent days in my room thinking and crying. It feels like shit, you know? When your brother likes your crush and that’s just shitty because it’s either one of us would get hurt eventually and I really didn’t want you to get hurt.”

She sobbed.

I just stared at her. I finally felt horrible and dumb. I’ve been blind all this time. And now, the same thing happened all over again but with another person – Mike.

“You knew that I like Mike and now you’re going to like him too? That’s so unfair, Tone,” she said angrily and then ran upstairs.

Times like this – times when Val and I usually fight – I would rush upstairs and calm her but for some reason, I didn’t. I felt guilty because of my stupidity. My sister had tried to endure the idea of me liking her crush for years.

But the stupidest thing was, Blaise actually had a crush on her. She was the lucky one in this situation. I wanted to go upstairs, to tell her that it wasn’t my fault that I like Blaise. It was her fault that she didn’t tell me and be honest about it. If I knew, I would tell her that Blaise actually likes her but this was just absurd.

Everything wouldn’t go wrong if Blaise was honest with his feelings and Val just told Blaise that she had feelings for him.

But I was the only one in this situation who felt guilty. I was always the third wheel. Even with Mike now.

Before I could even go upstairs to go to Val, someone called me.

“Tony.”

“Mom?”

---

Mom must’ve heard me and Val arguing because usually whenever Val and I argue, mom would call me afterwards and asked what was wrong and then give me the lecture that as the older brother I should give up on my little sister but that was just dumb because this time we weren’t arguing about who should drink the last orange juice.

For the first few minutes, the kitchen was filled with silence.

“Tony, I really don’t know how to say this,” she began and I listened and was ready for the lecture. Would she say that as an older brother I should give up Mike for my little sister?

“But,” she took a deep breath before she continued, “I couldn’t help but I actually know what is going on with the two of you. I was once your age too and I completely understand but this… this is just absurd, honestly.”

What was she talking about? Did she mean that she knew that I like Mike which meant she knew I was gay? I was confused but I continued to listen.

“Val told me a long time ago, about you.”

“About what, mom?” I stuttered. I started to become scared that I actually panicked. I could feel my palms were sweating. Mom shouldn’t know about my sexuality – she should never have.

“About you not being normal,” she said, her voice was calm but I knew that she was scared too.

“What is that supposed to mean, mom? Tell me, I’ve been doing perfectly fine at school like you want, what’s not normal about that?” I tried to bring the school topic here to make her forget all about this bullshit.

“I know, honey, but liking the same sex is just wrong.”

Only god knows how much I wanted to shoot myself right then.

Notes

woohoo drama, drama, drama and more drama!
i've got bad news little angels, since i'm going to have a big exam i'm going to be inactive but i would go online on fridays and sundays. i can't tell whetehr i could update on those days but it depends whether i'm motivated or not

so tell me what you guys think about this chapter!

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love y'all x