Your place to be is by my side.
Chapter 1.
It all started when i turned 15. Picture me as a cute girl, with long blonde hair, much make-up and a horrible music taste. I was one of the famous girls in my school, i was pretty, i was wanted, i was loved. I slept less and ate nothing, i wanted to be skinny like all my friends. I found my first love, a boy called Kyle, and as soon as we came together we were "High-School-Dream-Couple-Number-1". I went to concerts of Lady Gaga with my "Gang" and it was a great time.
Till my parents decided to divorce. But not just a divorce. I guess i could handle them not being together anymore, they didn't seem to like each other anymore anyways, but my parents were selfish. Both of them wanted everything, including me.
Do you know what it's like when your own parents are fighting over you? And you feel like an object, like the expensive TV they both don't want to leave? Well, please pray to god that your parents never divorde in such a way.
I slowly started changing. I went less out, my computer became more and more a good friend of me. I barely smiled, i simply had no reason to anymore. I wasn't like my friends anymore. Sometimes i stopped eating for more than two days, not because i wanted to be skinny, just because i didn't want to go downstairs to get food. I could hear them shouting there.
Today i realize that it was a big mistake to think i'd bother everyone with telling them my problems. I kept myself quiet, i talked less, i failed in school, but my mind was like: They wont understand you anyway. They have a happy family, they can't get what you're going through.
With 16,i was antisocial. My friends weren't my friends anymore,my boyfriend cheated on me and more often i just hid in my room for hours with headphones on.
And of course, my music taste changed. When you sit 24 hours in your room and you need to avoid the reality, music is the best way. I discovered different bands, got more interested in alternative music and their members. After a while the bandwhore life got me and i changed again.
Music made my life. I spent all my money into CD's and bandmerch. It's not just the music, isn't it? It's the meaning of the texts. I find myself in them, i feel like finally someone understands me, even though they never heard of me. I learned so much just because of music. They showed me i'm worth things, they literally saved me when i was alone and broken.
With 17 i got my first tattoo, in an illegal way, my parents would never let me 'destroy my body' - how they'd call it. It was a lyric quote,of course. "I'm scared to get close and i hate being alone." was now on my right leg.
A while ago i discovered Tumblr and found lots of people who think the way i do.What is awesome, because i don't feel like a freak anymore. I feel like a part of a subculture now, but i still haven't found my place to be.
Till my parents decided to divorce. But not just a divorce. I guess i could handle them not being together anymore, they didn't seem to like each other anymore anyways, but my parents were selfish. Both of them wanted everything, including me.
Do you know what it's like when your own parents are fighting over you? And you feel like an object, like the expensive TV they both don't want to leave? Well, please pray to god that your parents never divorde in such a way.
I slowly started changing. I went less out, my computer became more and more a good friend of me. I barely smiled, i simply had no reason to anymore. I wasn't like my friends anymore. Sometimes i stopped eating for more than two days, not because i wanted to be skinny, just because i didn't want to go downstairs to get food. I could hear them shouting there.
Today i realize that it was a big mistake to think i'd bother everyone with telling them my problems. I kept myself quiet, i talked less, i failed in school, but my mind was like: They wont understand you anyway. They have a happy family, they can't get what you're going through.
With 16,i was antisocial. My friends weren't my friends anymore,my boyfriend cheated on me and more often i just hid in my room for hours with headphones on.
And of course, my music taste changed. When you sit 24 hours in your room and you need to avoid the reality, music is the best way. I discovered different bands, got more interested in alternative music and their members. After a while the bandwhore life got me and i changed again.
Music made my life. I spent all my money into CD's and bandmerch. It's not just the music, isn't it? It's the meaning of the texts. I find myself in them, i feel like finally someone understands me, even though they never heard of me. I learned so much just because of music. They showed me i'm worth things, they literally saved me when i was alone and broken.
With 17 i got my first tattoo, in an illegal way, my parents would never let me 'destroy my body' - how they'd call it. It was a lyric quote,of course. "I'm scared to get close and i hate being alone." was now on my right leg.
A while ago i discovered Tumblr and found lots of people who think the way i do.What is awesome, because i don't feel like a freak anymore. I feel like a part of a subculture now, but i still haven't found my place to be.
Notes
Hey, this was just a discribtion of her. Next chapter will be the actual start of the story. :3Leave me a comment or a vote?
Update please?
2/11/14