"Just drop me off here Mike, It's a block away I'm okay. I promise" Truth is, I'm not okay.. Though Mike and Vic treated me so nicely at their house last night, I couldn't help the urge to want to cut and drink. Most importantly, I don't want Mike to think I'm a slob for living in a car with a bunch of Jack bottles laying around.

"I'm not gonna make you walk Abigail"

"Please Mike"

"No, where is it"

I stayed silent, waiting for the next redlight to hit. I rubbed my hands as we got closer & closer to the car that I am ashamed to call my home.

Finially, a redlight came up and I jumped out of the car and ran towards mine. Ignoring Mike calling my name several times, I got into my car, layed my head onto the wheel and cried. Why I was crying, I don't know. Mike must have saw the car I got into because he knocked on my window, beginning for me to get out.

"Go away"

"I'm not leaving till you come out, abigail"

"Looks like you're sleeping on the road tonight" I picked my head up to look at Mike and those Beautiful Brown eyes just staring at me I couldn't resist. I grabbed my purse, threw a change of clothes in, my small bottle of Vodka, and most importantly, my blade. I stepped out of the car and went into the laundrymat I was parked outside of.

"Wait here Mike" I walked into the building and into the bathroom. I pulled my razor out of my purse and slowly fidgieted with it before pressing the cool metal to my skin. I didn't want to stop at 3 or 4 cuts this time, one by one I added about 30 more before I started to get dizzy.

I stood up and cleaned my wrist off while picking my clothes out of my bag.

"You alright abigail? It's been 29 minutes" His voice sounded like he was concerned, but from the conversation earlier I'm sure he just wants my body.

"Just a second"

i whipped out of the bathroom wearing a pair of dark skinnys, a purple long sleeve and black vans. I don't really care for my looks that much considering, who would want to be with me anyway? I'm an alcoholic freak.

"You look gorgeous" he smiled and grabbed my wrist, pulling me closer to him. I winced in pain as he did so, he noticed and his face dropped.

"I'm aorry, I can be rough sometimes" he winked and smirked before leading me out of the building. My head raced with memory's of when I was just a small girl.

•flashback•

"Well abigail you look nice today"

"Thanks daddy, I really like this shirt. Mommy bought it for me last week" I smiled and walked over to the bay window, sitting down and watching the birds outside pick worms out of the ground.

"Oh sweetie, You have something on your pants. Let me get it for you."

i walked over to my father only to have one of his hands go down my pants, and another over my mouth.

"If you ever speak a word about what I am going to do, I will put a gun up to your head and kill you. But baby, don't be scared, you're beautiful. Hope you like it rough" He put a smirk on his face and darted his hand into me. I had no way of screaming because his hand covering my mouth.

Thinking back on it, I wish I would have told someone. I could have been dead. I wouldn't have to live this shit life.

Notes

Yeah, I'm kinda lost oops. I have no idea where I'm going with this & I don't think anyone really likes it. If you do please comment because I really don't have motivation to right this that much anymore. I'm really hard on myself, and I think this sucks but who knows.
So
yeah.

I love ice you all, if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here & I love you all :*