The flight was long, twelve hours long. Thankfully, time went by quickly while my mom and I were talking. About an hour into the flight, my mom relaxed and started telling me what would happen in California and answered any questions I had. She had a good friend from high school that lived in California, Vivian. My mom had been planning to escape my father for a long while, so she purposely got back in contact with Vivian to have a secure place to stay. Some may call it using, I liked to call it 'giving friendship for a nice place to reside'. Vivian had a husband, but he was always working so he didn't come home often. They had plenty extra room in their house and my mom coaxed Vivian in to inviting us to come and stay with them, she'd also pick us up from the airport. She explained where the van came from, that she found it on the side of the road, it was abandoned and the keys were still inside of it. She took advantage of this and parked the van in the back of the neighbors house. She explained how she had been getting passed my father's wrath lately, she gave him sleeping pills in his dinner, mixed with the alcohol, it knocked him right out. He found out, and that's why he pulled a gun and lost all sanity he had left. She told me I would be attending Clairmont High School, and she would try and get a job so we wouldn't have to rely on Vivian for too long. We talked about my father, we talked about TJ, we talked about the past, the future, we caught up, we vented about everything that we couldn't because the twisted rule my father established a few years ago. It was so nice to be able to talk to my mother again without the constant fear my dad was going to interrupt and 'teach us a lesson'. We talked and talked and talked and before we knew it, we only had a couple hours left of the flight.

A half an hour passed and my mom fell asleep. It was already eight thirty in the morning and although I was running on no sleep and had no energy, I wasn't tired.

The seatbelt light was off so I got up and went to the bathroom. The bathroom on the plane was small and congested. After doing my buisness and taking a couple minutes to figure out how to flush, I washed my hands. While washing my hands, I took a look at myself. I was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday, my white skinny jeans, black muscle shirt, and jet black combat boots. The little makeup I still had on was smeared but my hair looked the same. I never seemed to have bad hair days, my hair was down to my hips and it fell the way it wanted too, which wasn't really too bad. I put my hair in a bun and ran the cold water over my face. I scrubbed my face so my makeup was completely off. I took out my bag and applied a base and mascara , I didn't bother with eyeliner. I took my hair out of the bun and ran my fingers through it. I wanted to make somewhat of an impression on this lady I would be staying with for who knows how long. I didn't look awful, which was all the impression I needed. I stepped out of the bathroom and walked back to my seat.

We arrived in California at ten thirty. I had the window seat, so I had the privilege of watching us land. We flew over Los Angeles as I gawked at all of the buildings and bridges. It was huge, but also seemed so small compared to everything. I felt like I could jump out of the plane, and join anyone and participate in their daily lives. Just to think every single person was living their own life, doing their own thing, made me think about how big the world can be.

We departed the plane and got a cup of coffee and something small for breakfast at the airport's Starbucks. I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday and I didn't even realize how hungry I was. We made small talk about California and finished quickly.

We stood outside the airport for a good fifteen minutes until a white Cadillac pulled up and a Hispanic woman with dark brown hair, and a red jog suit got out. Instantly my mom shot up, and ran towards her.

"VIV I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN AGES," she screamed as she ran to her for a hug.

"TERRY YOU LOOK SO GREAT!" Vivian screamed back and locked her in a tight embrace.

They screamed things like this at each other for another few minutes as I just awkwardly stood there, watching them.

Eventually Vivian walked over to me, I could fully see her face and get a better look at her. She had honest dark brown eyes, she wore subtle red lipstick to match her jog suit. Her hair was shoulder length and she was rather fit.

"You must be Stella! Oh my, how beautiful you are. You look just like your mom when she was in high school, she was a bit on the edgy side too," she whispered the last part as a secret, just between us.

"Thank you," I blushed at the comment she made. She suddenly gave me a tight hug. I felt like I had known her for years, she had such a warm personality. She turned back to my mom standing behind her.

"Let's get on the road, shall we?" Vivian took care of our luggage. My mother nodded and hopped in the passengers seat and I rode in the back.

It didn't take long to get to her house. My mother and Vivian chatted while I listened to my music, not caring to hear what they chatted about. I watched the scenery and people of California as we drove.

We soon pulled up to a large, yellow house with a white picket fence surrounding it. It had flowers all up the walk way, Vivian clearly tended to it on a regular basis. My mom pulled our luggage out of the trunk and I followed them inside the house.

There was a large kitchen and a den to the right. There was a flat screen on the wall facing a lounge area and a wood coffee table. I slowly walked around to observe decor and pictures. It was modernly designed, it gave a 'fresh' essence. I picked up a picture that was laying on the den. There was Vivian, I was assuming her husband and two other boys who looked an awful lot like the two adults in the picture. One kid had was on the shorter side. He had shoulder length hair and fringe, he wore a beanie and had a hoop nose piercing. The other kid was extremely tall. He also had longer hair. He had a medusa and a lip piercing and a cheesy smile plastered across his face. They were both clearly in high school still. My mother and Vivian were still chatting in the kitchen, so I went to join them.

"Oh hello my wonderful daughter, so glad you came to join us," my mother said this sarcastically, we both possessed that quality.

She sipped the iced drink in front of her.

"Oh terry, stop that. She was just taking a look around the house. How'd you like it, sweetie?" I still couldn't fathom how warm Vivian made me feel.

"I like it a lot! Especially the loft area. You have a really nice house," I said this with a smile and nodded my head.

She scoffed. "You are too sweet! And you are so pretty too. Oh the boys are going to have a fit over you," she laughed.

"The boys?" I was confused.

"Did you forget to tell her?" She directed at my mother. She directed her voice back to me. "Vic and Mike, my two sons. I'm sure there were pictures over here some where.." She trailed off as she walked into the den. "aha!" She grabbed a picture and ran back into the kitchen. She picked up the picture I just recently studied. "That one is victor," she pointed to the shorter boy, "he's my oldest, I know" she made a face. "And that is my youngest, Mike!" She pointed to the extremely tall boy.

"Oh I saw that picture, it's lovely by the way. But, I didn't know you had kids," I said this with a nervous laugh. I wasn't sure how I felt about this.

"Well I actually have four,"

"FOUR?" My mom and I shouted in disbelief at the same time.

Vivian threw her head back and cackled. "My boys are in a band! Mike plays the drums, Vic sings and plays guitar, oh I'm so proud," she took a moment to wallow. "There's two other boys in the band, Jaimie on bass and Tony on guitar! They're over here just as much as my boys, they practically live here," she explained.

"A band? Huh. That's really nice. What type of band is it?" I was beginning to like the thought of sharing a house with people who liked music as much as me.

"It's a different type of rock type of band," she tried to describe it. "Now, I don't know all of the details, but you can talk to the boys about it when they come home. They're at school right now," she smiled again. I nodded and smiled back.

"So Stella, do you do anything? Play sports? Have hobbies?" Vivian asked and looked at me like she was enticed.

"I play guitar and I really like music. Other than that, I don't really do much," I felt lame, I wasn't really too great at anything but music. Her sons were musicians, so I was hoping she would get it.

"Oh!" She looked at my mom and back at me. "So you're respectful, AND nice, AND pretty, AND you're musically inclined?" She looked back at my mom again. "Huh, the boys sure are going to fighting over you," she winked at me.

I laughed at this. I had never been showered in compliments so I didn't know exactly how to respond. Talking to Vivian was easy though, so I didn't mind.

"Do you want to unpack? You must be exhausted. That was a long flight, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I am a little tired." I nodded. "Here," she started carrying my luggage upstairs and I followed. My mom stayed downstairs and watched us. She came to a door at the end of the hall across from a room that had a black V on the front of it, I'm guessing that's Vic's room. "You can sleep in here," she opened the door and inside was a room with teal blue paint on the walls, a black vanity, a black bedspread, black drawers and one blue lamp. It had many decorations and had a major sense of creativity.

"Wow, this is amazing. Did you deign this yourself?" I walked around the room for a further scan. She chucked.

"I did, I did." She nodded her head and looked around at the room proud. It was silent for a couple of seconds until she erupted with, "well, I'll let you get settled in. Your mother and I are downstairs if you need us," she smiled her usual warm smile and walked out of the room.

I picked up my suitcase and plopped it on the bed. I carefully unzipped it and opened it to find all of my clothes, shoes, knick-knacks, makeup, and other possessions piled inside of it. I dug through it and found myself a hoodie and some sweats. I didn't bother trying to unpack, I didn't have the energy. I would probably end up living out of a suitcase for a couple of weeks anyways, and frankly I didn't really care.

All I wanted to do was sleep. My mind was running a mile a minute trying to process everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. I needed to shut my mind off, I needed to rest. I threw my suitcase back on the floor and put my headphones in. I blasted Memphis May Fire's 'Vices' and tried to relax. I needed music on at all times when I slept, it helped me focus on something. If I didn't have music, I ended up overthinking and tearing myself apart. Music was my therapy. I rubbed my eyes and ran my hand through my hair a couple of times before finding a comfortable spot and falling asleep.

My mom came into my room a couple of hours later and woke me up.

"Stella, honey wake up," she said this in a gentle manor, my eyes slowly opened.

"What time is it?" I asked groggily.

"You only slept for a an hour and a half. I just thought I would wake you up because Viv's boys are home and I'm sure you want to meet them just as much as they want to meet you," she winked.

"Ugh mom, why didn't you tell me she had kids?" I especially wasn't too thrilled that they were guys too. I said this in a hushed-tone, I didn't want anyone to hear me. "

I'm sorry, it completely slipped my mind. At least you'll have some people you know at school now," she was always the best person for looking at the bright sides of things. After many years of hell, I'm surprised she's still so positive. I've only been through a quarter of what she has and I have enough negativity for our whole family.

"Yeah.." I tried agreeing but broke eye contact with her so I could purposely trail off and get her to leave. I guess this worked because she stood up from my bed and began to walk out of the room.

"I'll give you a couple of minutes, come down when you're ready," with that she walked out of the room. I yawned and stretched and woke up a bit before I decided to do something with myself. It was only one o clock, and Vivian probably had some plans for the day, so I wanted to freshen up and do something with myself. Plus, it's not a bad thing to make a good first impression.

I changed out of my sweats and found a pair of high-wasted, worn, jean shorts. I paired it with a plain black body-hugging muscle top and black converse high-tops. I walked over to the vanity and sat down. I took a good look at myself in the mirror. My mascara had came off while I was sleeping, so I was bare for the most part. I didn't really have much of a self esteem, but I didn't like to dwell on it. I hated myself, and that's how it was. It didn't consume me like it did most people. I always felt a little better with makeup on, just like anyone. I put my usual base on and contoured a bit, I applied mascara and my usual wing, I was feeling more eyeliner so I did my waterline as well. My hair hadn't been washed in a couple of days so it was extremely wavy; but it actually looked good with the exception of the little grease in my roots. I threw a black beanie on to cover that and left my bangs down. I moved all of my hair to the front so you could see the full length and messed it up a bit. I rummaged through my suitcase to find mouthwash and gargled it. I didn't have anywhere to spit so I just swallowed the minty liquid and continued on. I looked at myself in the mirror before leaving the room.

For once, I actually felt some-what good about myself. My makeup looked good, my hair looked good, and I liked the outfit. I sighed and walked out the door and down the stairs. I found my mom and Vivian sitting on the kitchen table, hysterically laughing. It was really odd to see my mother smile again, laugh again and act free. I was happy for her.

Vivian noticed my presence and looked over at me. "Oh hello there! Boy, do you look pretty," she stood up and grabbed onto one of my shoulders, looking me up and down, and then started patting my hair. "I love this, have I told you that?" She continued to touch my hair. "It's so long, I love the colors too," she turned to my mom with my hair still in her hand. "Don't you love the colors?"

I looked over to see my mom chuckling with her head in her hands.

"I'm sorry, you just remind me so much of each other, wow. " Vivian looked at my mom and then looked at me. I blushed and giggled at all of this.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, you really are so sweet, Vivian" I said this with a laugh.

"My pleasure, darlin'." She stopped for a second. "Oh! The boys, they're home!" She started looking around the den and glanced over the kitchen. "I'm not sure where they are, but I know Tony and Jaimie will be coming over soon if they're not already here, they're rehearsing tonight in the basement!" She pointed to the ground.

"I didn't know you had a basement!" I said, surprised.

"It's not really much of my basement; it's there's. They use it for band practice, playing their instruments, hanging out, everything. It's like their own person lounge, it's nice." She nodded.

"Wow that is really nice." Agreeing with her.

"It is, it is. Thats probably where they are now! You can go down there if you'd like," she looked at me with wide eyes.

"Oh no, I wouldn't want to intrude on anything I-"

"No, no, no! You're not intruding at all! And I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you did, you're you" she motioned to my body.
"Here, I'll walk you down." Before I could answer, she started walking towards the basement stairs.

We walked down them for a couple minutes, it was really down there. We finally arrived to a very large room that had a huge lounge area. There were three couches, a sectional, a fireplace, a flat screen, a mini-fridge and a bar. There was another room with a closed door in the back towards the bar.

"They're probably in the back room, that's the band area." She walked back there and knocked on the door. I was baffled at how much freedom and privacy she gave her kids.

"Boys, you know my friend from high school I was telling you about? I don't remember if I mentioned she had a daughter, and she's here with me right now." She yelled through the door.

A few seconds passed by and the door flew open to the tall boy with the lip piercings I saw in the picture. "Did I hear daughter? Of your friend?" He seemed very interested. He then noticed me standing behind Vivian and his eyes widened. "Is this? Are you?" He ignored and walked past Vivian and straight towards me.

"Is it hot in here or is it just you?" He laughed at his own joke and looked into my eyes. He was cute, but I wasn't really concerned about it. He had a bad-boy exterior and the same cheesy smile I saw in the picture, but he wasn't my type. Plus, I didn't come here for boys. He started talking again, "I'm Mike, and you are?"

"Not.. Interested." I tried not to sound like a complete bitch, so I smiled to let him know I wasn't too serious.

"Ha!" This came from Vivian. "Mike, do not come in here and think you are going to bullshit this innocent girl just like you do with all of your other hoes. She's worth something. Now go introduce her to the rest of the boys." Vivian ordered this and walked off, patting my back before she left the room. I still couldn't get over how good of a person she was.

Mike seemed angry with her for telling him off.

"Hey, don't worry about it. Your moms cool. I'm Stella," I broke the silence. I was starting a conversation with someone, this was new.

"Well, hello Stella." He shook my hand.

"Were you serious about that 'not-interested' thing you said or?" I laughed.

"Yep, I was serious."

"Thought so." He nodded. "Here let me introduce you to everyone else,"

I followed him into the back room and saw three other boys. One was sitting on a bean-bag chair eating gummy worms and loudly laughing about something. He had dark, spiked hair with a blonde streak on the side. Another boy looked familiar, he was the other one I saw in the picture, Vic. He was sitting on a couch talking to another kid. The kid he was talking too held a guitar on his lap, he had snake bites and fringe and he was listening to Vic talk. He seemed reserved.

"Hey guys, this is Stella. She's mom's friend's daughter." He picked up my arm and waved it for me to everyone, I laughed at this. The boy with the dark hair and blonde streak shot up from his bean-bag chair and extended his hand towards me.

"Hiya! I'm Jaime!" I took his hand and shook it.

"You seem hyper," I said bluntly.

"He's always hyper," Vic laughed and stood up from the couch.

"I'm Vic." Up close I noticed he had the same honest eyes as his mother. He seemed so sweet, like he wouldn't even kill a fly. He also extended his hand towards me and I shook it.
"How do you like our house so far?" He also had the same social skills as his mother.

"It's.. wow." I laughed. "It's really nice, all of it. But I have to say, this room is my favorite," I looked over at the instruments. It had a drum-set, a couple of bases and electric bases, microphone stands, and guitars were scattered all over the room.

"Oh well thank you, we made it ourselves. You play anything?" He motioned to the set.

"Uh yeah, I play some guitar but I'm not great or anything I just-" "You play guitar? Hey, Tony!" He raised his voice to call over his friend. "I found you a guitar-playin' friend!"

Tony walked over to where we were standing and looked me up and down. It made me uncomfortable, I hated when people just stared at me. I felt like they were picking me apart piece by piece.

"Hi, I'm Tony" he extended his hand, and I took it.

"Stella," I continued to shake his hand.

"Stella over here plays guitar, maybe you can show each other a few things." Vic looked at me, then gave Tony a different look. I didn't know what the look he gave his friend meant, so I ignored it.

"I don't know. I mean, my brother taught me, and I still remember everything. But I haven't played in over a year so-"

"Great! You can play here. We have plenty of gee-tars," he interrupted me and chuckled.

"I don't know, I'm probably really rusty and I-"

I was interrupted again, but this time it was Tony. "Don't worry about it, I won't judge. And I'm sure you're not that bad, even if you are, I can help you," he said this in such a tender tone of voice, it calmed me down a lot. I looked him in the eyes and nodded. He had deep, dark, brown eyes. They weren't like Vic's or Vivian's honest eyes, and they weren't like Mike's I-can-see-right-through-this-bad-boy-act eyes, they had more depth. Like there was more to the story, it was intriguing.

He started to walk over to a section of the room that had a few guitars in the corner. Two acoustic, two electric. He grabbed the two acoustic and handed one to me.

"I don't know if it's tuned, but we'll figure that out." I nodded again. "Do you want to go into the lounge? It's a little loud in here," he was right. The Television was on and Vic and Jaimie were debating about something and Mike erupted with laughter every few seconds.

"Yeah, that's a good idea" I half-smiled. He started walking into the lounge and I followed. He took a seat on one of the three large, roomy couches and I sat on the seat next to him.

"So, what do you know on the guitar?" He looked me in the eyes like he was ready to listen.

"Uh, I don't even know what I know, to be honest." I was so unsure of myself and I'm positive it came out in my voice.

"Well, let's figure it out." He slowly started playing the guitar he had. "close your eyes" he ordered softly, I did so. He played something short and I could tell it was basic and easy, but it was still so beautiful. When he was finished, I opened my eyes.

"Try and mimic what you just heard," he looked over at me.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I knew where all of the strings were, although I hadn't played in a while, I was still so familiar with the instrument. I strummed a couple of chords until I found the one he started with, and I began to play. My eyes were still closed as I continued to play, I didn't know if it was exactly what he did, but whatever it was, it was good. I didn't know what I was doing, I was completely winging it, now I knew it wasn't what he played, I lost myself in the guitar. I didn't have my eyes closed the entire time, I opened them once in a while to secure I made the right chord change, but closing my eyes made me feel the music. I must have played for about five minutes until I slowly came to a stop. I looked up at Tony and saw his reaction, he looked stunned.

"Are you sure you haven't played in a while?" He said this slowly.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I don't know what just happened, I didn't even know what I was doing." I had no clue what even happened, I felt so familiar with it, like I picked it up every day and played it for the whole day.

"Whatever you did, it was great. I mean, really great. I could've listened to you play forever. You're a natural," His words were serious and assuring. It gave me confidence.

"Really?" I was still unsure about the whole situation. I thought I was good, but was I really that good? I had to be rusty.

"Yeah, really. No lie. For real, what you just did sounded rehearsed and practiced; flawless even. You didn't mess up once. You must have had a really good instructor, huh?" He sounded so honest when he spoke. I looked down at the ground and took a deep breath.

Thinking about TJ still got me in the gut. "Yeah, uh.. my brother.. taught me. I was only eleven but he coached me for a while so maybe that's it," I replied slowly and quieter, I hoped he wouldn't ask anymore questions about my brother. He didn't know, but it was still touchy.

"Well, your brother taught you well. Seriously," he looked at me and instantly removed all doubts I had.

"Thank you.. a lot. For this," I motioned to the guitar. "It was really nice being able to play again,"

"Hey, no problem. If you have any questions or want to play at all, or even want to just listen to someone else play, I'm your guy." He looked down and smiled, not allowing me to see it.

"I'll keep that in mind," I smiled to him and started standing up.

He stood up as well and took the guitar from my hands to carry both of them back into the room. I followed him.

"Heya, how was the guitar playing?" Vic asked as soon as I walked into the room. Tony looked at me to respond.

"It went well," I nodded as I said this.

"Really well." Tony added. "She's great,"

"I want to hear!" Jaimie jumped in the conversation out of no where.

"Yeah, I do too" Mike said without bothering to look up from his phone.

"Yeah, show us" Vic agreed with both of his friends.

"I don't know, I-" I was interrupted by all three of the boys.

They all begged and pleaded, Jaimie even got on his knees. I looked over to Tony, he shrugged.

"Okay, okay" I finally gave in. I went back to the corner with all of the guitars and picked up the one I had been playing before. I sat down on the couch as the four boys sat down on the couch across from me. Jaimie was staring at me with wide eyes, Vic was waiting patiently for me to start, Mike was looking at me with a gleam of something that said 'prove it' in his eyes, and when I looked at Tony he stared at me with belief, and it calmed me down, just like before.

I took a deep breath before playing. I didn't know what I was doing, but it was completely different from before. I closed my eyes to feel the music, I began to get really into it. I lost myself, I lost track of time, just like before. I slowly stopped playing and looked up. They all gave me a look in disbelief and it was completely silent until Vic started to clap, slowly.
Shortly after, Mike joined in, then Tony, finally Jaimie. I couldn't help but smile, I looked away so they couldn't see it, but it felt real. For once, I smiled and it was real.

"Thank you," I said slowly, they continued to clap. A few moments later, they were still clapping.

"You can stop clapping now, guys" a few seconds later, they did.

"Do you remember the chord structure for that, or any of the chords at all? It was phenomenal, maybe we could make a song out of it. If you're okay with that, of course" Tony looked at his band-mates, then back at me.

"Uh, I don't know. I think I remember some of it..." I trailed off and began to play the same melody as before. I started naming the chords out loud, and stopped when I knew I had them all. "Yeah, I remember it pretty well" I looked up at Tony.

Our conversation got interrupted by Jaimie. "Did I hear you say you were rusty before? Rusty on what? Surely not the guitar. You were on fire!"

"Yeah, what was that about? You gotta own it, you're good! Say it, say you're good" Vic hopefully looked me in the eyes. "Stella, say it!" I looked around nervously. "Say it! Say 'I'm Stella and I am good at the guitar'."

"Come on Stella, say it!" The first words mike spoke ever since I stopped playing.

"Say it" Jaimie.

"Say it!" Vic.

"Come on, say it. It's true!" Mike.

"Say it!" Tony.

They all started chanting the words "say it" and I gave in.

"Okay, okay. " I said in between giggles. "I am good at the guitar, there, are you happy?" I looked at all of them.

"Nope, I'm not convinced. You gotta be sure of yourself. Say it with confidence," Mike leaned back on the couch and put his hands behind his head while saying this.

"Okay," I said slowly. I tried to be as confident as possible. "I Stella, am good at the guitar, and I am embracing the fact that I am good at the guitar by saying it in confidence," I shot Mike a look towards the end while I started getting sarcastic.

"Close enough," Jaimie shrugged.

"Really though, Stella. You've got something," Vic stood up and took the guitar from my lap and placed it back in the corner.

"Eh, I don't know" I looked down at my nails so I wouldn't have to deal with the looks coming from all of them.

For the next forty-five minutes, we all just talked and got to know each other. It wasn't hard talking to them, they were open and I was open... for the most part. I found Mike and Jaimie are the jokesters, but Mike is a bit more serious. He tries to be badass but everyone can see right though it. Vic is more sensible, but he joins in with the jokes every now and then. Tony is usually quiet, but when he says something, it means something. He laughs at the things Jaimie and Tony say but mostly keeps to himself. They were all friendly, and they all made me laugh, which wasn't too hard to do. We mainly talked about music, but got off topic a few times. For once, I felt apart of something; and I know I didn't know them very long and maybe this was just a one-time thing. Maybe it was because I was far away from my dad, inside a basement with four guys who I felt would protect me, maybe it was the essence in the room. Whatever it was, I felt safe. I felt secure. Something I had never felt before. All of my anxieties were wiped away, and it felt nice, really nice.

Notes

Stella's outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/untitled/set?id=100684016



Ok I know this chapter was like three years long; but a lot happened. Tell me what you guys think, what you guys would like to see happen, and I'm always looking for tips to make this better.

stay wonderful :-)