One Hundred Sleepless Nights.
Scared.
Tony and I were hanging out one more time before school started in a week.
"You look really pretty today" Tony commented.
"Thanks, not so bad yourself Tony" I smirked.
We were hanging out today in Santa Monica.
We bused it here.
It was a hot humid day here in Los Angeles, I mean when isn't it?
We walked around the streets acting like complete goofballs, there isn't anything this boy couldn't make me feel.
For once I didn't care about the drama back home, I fact I left my phone at home, I'd get into deep shit for that.
Especially since my mom worked from 8a.m.- 7:p.m.
And the fact that my grandma didn't like me going anywhere.
But in all honesty, when I'm around Tony I'm not numb.
I don't feel the urge to cut. I- I feel good.
As we kept walking, I noticed the make up on my wrists was slowly starting to wipe off, and the shinning of my scars softly showed through.
"Shit" I thought.
I needed to apply more ASAP, before Tony sees.
"Can we go into that Burger King?" I asked.
"Hungry?" He said.
"No, I just have to use the restroom" I giggled feeling my face turn red.
I entered quickly, locking the stall door behind me and digging through my bag to find the make-up.
Parts of my cuts were still slightly fresh, so the make-up stung a bit...but I loved it.
I sighed in relief as I exited the stall going to wash the stuff off my fingers.
"You're not alone, don't ever feel like you are" a random voice said next to me.
I whipped my head towards the direction to find a girl who looked similar to me.
She was looking directly at my wrists.
"Are they noticeable?" I asked.
"Not anymore, but I recognized those soft silver lining before you stormed off in here.
I've been there trust me I know it hard, just don't give up"
"Thanks" I smiled.
"Anything to give a stranger hope" she smiled back.
"Oh by the way, you and your boyfriend, super cute couple" she smiled and walked off.
I blushed a bit, and smiled.
Did we really look like a couple?
I mean were only friends, but I feel like I've known him forever.
He's someone who bring out the smiles in me, the smiles I thought I had lost.
I walked out the restroom.
"Thought I lost you for a moment" he laughed.
"Sorry, just started conversations with a girl who was in here" I said.
"Girl with dark hair ?" He asked.
"Yeah why?" I said with curiosity.
He laughed to himself
"Hmm just cause" he smirked.
"Tell me" I playfully pushed his shoulder.
"She just said we were a great couple" he laughed a bit, turning pink.
I couldn't believe my eyes, mister Tony was blushing Infront of me.
"She told me the same thing." I smiled, trying not to sound awkward.
He didn't say much afterwards, he just had a huge grin on his face.
We ended up at the beach during Sunset.
I decided it would be a good idea to call and check in with my mom,
To her I was a lost cause at the moment.
She didn't mind me drinking, she knew it was my way to cope with everything back at home.
"Hello?" She answered.
"Hey mom" I said lowly.
"Lissett where the fuck are you?!" She shouted.
"I'm fine, don't worry, I'll be home in an hour"
"Do you realize your grandma is doing back flips because she can't get a hold of you?! Are you trying to give her a damn heart attack? Fuck Lissett! "
"Okay,okay I'm sorry... I- I just ... Nevermind, I'll be home soon" I said.
My mom didnt respond anything,she just hung up.
Tony and I sat on the sand of the beach, no words were said for a good ten minutes.
We soaked in the sound of the waves and traffic behind us.
"Ready for school?" I asked breaking the silence.
"Not really" he mumbled.
"Why not?" I said.
"Hmm, I don't know how to explain it" he said.
"Just tell me, I'm sure I'll comprehend it" I said.
"I'm just scared" he said extra lowly.
"Abooout?" I exaggerated the word.
"Um...umm, I don't know" he said, shaking his head.
"Com'on Tony you know you can trust me, sorry if I'm pushing it" I mumbled.
"I'm just scared you'll find a boyfriend or some crush..I-I don't know"
It felt like Cupid stuck me in the ass, because I wanted to admit how much I liked him, how much I wanted to spend time with him. The fact that he makes me smile and feel so special.
But I didn't, because I was always admitting my feeling first, and I was scared I'd ruin things. Instead I laced my fingers with his.
"You have nothing to worry about" I smiled.
"You look really pretty today" Tony commented.
"Thanks, not so bad yourself Tony" I smirked.
We were hanging out today in Santa Monica.
We bused it here.
It was a hot humid day here in Los Angeles, I mean when isn't it?
We walked around the streets acting like complete goofballs, there isn't anything this boy couldn't make me feel.
For once I didn't care about the drama back home, I fact I left my phone at home, I'd get into deep shit for that.
Especially since my mom worked from 8a.m.- 7:p.m.
And the fact that my grandma didn't like me going anywhere.
But in all honesty, when I'm around Tony I'm not numb.
I don't feel the urge to cut. I- I feel good.
As we kept walking, I noticed the make up on my wrists was slowly starting to wipe off, and the shinning of my scars softly showed through.
"Shit" I thought.
I needed to apply more ASAP, before Tony sees.
"Can we go into that Burger King?" I asked.
"Hungry?" He said.
"No, I just have to use the restroom" I giggled feeling my face turn red.
I entered quickly, locking the stall door behind me and digging through my bag to find the make-up.
Parts of my cuts were still slightly fresh, so the make-up stung a bit...but I loved it.
I sighed in relief as I exited the stall going to wash the stuff off my fingers.
"You're not alone, don't ever feel like you are" a random voice said next to me.
I whipped my head towards the direction to find a girl who looked similar to me.
She was looking directly at my wrists.
"Are they noticeable?" I asked.
"Not anymore, but I recognized those soft silver lining before you stormed off in here.
I've been there trust me I know it hard, just don't give up"
"Thanks" I smiled.
"Anything to give a stranger hope" she smiled back.
"Oh by the way, you and your boyfriend, super cute couple" she smiled and walked off.
I blushed a bit, and smiled.
Did we really look like a couple?
I mean were only friends, but I feel like I've known him forever.
He's someone who bring out the smiles in me, the smiles I thought I had lost.
I walked out the restroom.
"Thought I lost you for a moment" he laughed.
"Sorry, just started conversations with a girl who was in here" I said.
"Girl with dark hair ?" He asked.
"Yeah why?" I said with curiosity.
He laughed to himself
"Hmm just cause" he smirked.
"Tell me" I playfully pushed his shoulder.
"She just said we were a great couple" he laughed a bit, turning pink.
I couldn't believe my eyes, mister Tony was blushing Infront of me.
"She told me the same thing." I smiled, trying not to sound awkward.
He didn't say much afterwards, he just had a huge grin on his face.
We ended up at the beach during Sunset.
I decided it would be a good idea to call and check in with my mom,
To her I was a lost cause at the moment.
She didn't mind me drinking, she knew it was my way to cope with everything back at home.
"Hello?" She answered.
"Hey mom" I said lowly.
"Lissett where the fuck are you?!" She shouted.
"I'm fine, don't worry, I'll be home in an hour"
"Do you realize your grandma is doing back flips because she can't get a hold of you?! Are you trying to give her a damn heart attack? Fuck Lissett! "
"Okay,okay I'm sorry... I- I just ... Nevermind, I'll be home soon" I said.
My mom didnt respond anything,she just hung up.
Tony and I sat on the sand of the beach, no words were said for a good ten minutes.
We soaked in the sound of the waves and traffic behind us.
"Ready for school?" I asked breaking the silence.
"Not really" he mumbled.
"Why not?" I said.
"Hmm, I don't know how to explain it" he said.
"Just tell me, I'm sure I'll comprehend it" I said.
"I'm just scared" he said extra lowly.
"Abooout?" I exaggerated the word.
"Um...umm, I don't know" he said, shaking his head.
"Com'on Tony you know you can trust me, sorry if I'm pushing it" I mumbled.
"I'm just scared you'll find a boyfriend or some crush..I-I don't know"
It felt like Cupid stuck me in the ass, because I wanted to admit how much I liked him, how much I wanted to spend time with him. The fact that he makes me smile and feel so special.
But I didn't, because I was always admitting my feeling first, and I was scared I'd ruin things. Instead I laced my fingers with his.
"You have nothing to worry about" I smiled.
I just read the your story from beginning to your recent update today, and love it!! I even shed a few tears reading it, thanks so much for sharing what you have so far. I look forward to more updates!!
9/25/14