Kissing Razors

*Lydia*

My alarm rang in my ears, jolting me awake to The Beautiful People. I shut it off quickly and got showered and dressed, making sure to go over my room one final time to make sure I had everything, blades included. Once I was satisfied, it was about 8, and I picked up all my bags and both guitar cases. I would be bringing my bass, too, but my mom burned it. I simply walked down the street to the venue, stopping at the corner store to collect my last paycheck.

"Make sure to call me if you're in any trouble, mija." Mrs. Perez told me, squeezing me one last time.

"I will, Mrs. P. You're my madre." I responded. She smiled and I saw her watery eyes.

"Mama, don't cry. I'll call and visit often as I can." I said, hugging the shorter woman to my 5'5'' frame.

"You go and you have a great time, and you meet those boys you listen to all the time, and you tell them thank you, from yourself and from me, because they kept my daughter here. Now, go, mija. Go and enjoy your day, and don't you ever forget your Mama." She smiled and gently pushed me to the door, tears of happiness in her eyes. I waved as I walked to the venue, handing over my ticket to the guy and looking at the board for who's playing where. Pierce The Veil was playing at the main stage after Sleeping With Sirens, and then Black Veil Brides was after them. I headed to the main stage, arriving at Sleeping's set just as they started. They played If You Can't Hang, Do It Now, Remember It Later, If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn, Roger Rabbit, Fire, and closed out with A Trophy Father's Trophy Son. I cried as they played, thinking of my dad. As soon as they finished, the crew set up for Pierce The Veil and I went over to the side of the stage, showing the guard my pass. He inspected it, making sure it wasn't fake, and then led me to the side of the stage, where the band was.

"Guys, VIP." He said, stopping just behind me. Jaime turned around and smiled at me.

"Hi. I'm guessing you're the VIP?" I nodded and smiled softly.

"You have a name?" Tony asked, making Vic and Mike turn to look at me.

"I'm Lydia." I said softly, holding out my hand. They each shook it and I saw Vic looking at my arm, which was covered in bracelets. We got to know each other just a bit before they went on, and I smiled and just listened as they played, slightly moving from side to side. They played Yeah Boy And Doll Face, Caraphernelia, Bulletproof Love, Hell Above, One Hundred Sleepless Nights, Hold On Till May, and A Match Into Water. After they came off, Vic came over to me and stood with me, just talking.

"I have a question." He said, looking at me nervously.

"I might have an answer." I replied, feeling my scars burn.

"Why would you take a blade to yourself?" He asked, moving a few of my bracelets.

"That's a story that's too long to tell, but I can give you the summary. My mom was always abusive to me, but it was only ever verbally and emotionally. Until my dad died in a car wreck. I was with him, and he had twisted in his seat and thrown himself over me, protecting me from the car that hit us." I felt a single tear escape my eyes. "As soon as I was sent home from the hospital, my mom hit me. She smacked me hard across my face, leaving a hand shaped bruise. It just got worse and worse over the years until the neighbors called CPS, and I was brought to the orphanage. But it got worse. All the kids pushed me around for wearing a Marilyn Manson shirt and liking 'evil' music, the older boys started touching me and one of them eventually raped me. I got continuously beaten up, and one day, one of the older girls handed me a knife and told me to cut myself, so I did. As soon as I did, I didn't feel numb anymore. Yeah, I was in pain, but I wasn't in pain that someone else controlled; I controlled it. I kept cutting, my arms, my hips, my ribs, my legs. I just wanted to feel like I was alive, even for a few seconds. And then I got fed up with living. I attempted suicide four times. I overdosed, I tried to hang myself, I tried to blow my brains out, I slit my wrists. But I never got it right, and then I heard Props And Mayhem and I realized that there were people who felt like I do, or they have felt like that, and I stopped cutting for quite awhile and I started writing songs, playing guitar, and just listening to music. I was never strong enough to go more than a few months without making a few cuts, and yesterday, everything just hit me again. My dad's death, my mom abusing me until I was seven, getting raped, and every little comment, every little insult, and all I wanted was to die, but someone slipped the ticket and this pass under my door, and I didn't even think about grabbing my blade. I got the best birthday present I've ever gotten; I got to meet the men who saved me." I finished, rubbing my thumb across my wrist, where my suicide attempt scars were, and I wiped the tears away.

"I told myself if I ever met you, I'd make a promise that I wouldn't hurt myself again. And I intend on keeping it." I said, looking up at them. I was pulled into a hug by all four of them and I just let silent tears flow. I'm glad I didn't kill myself yesterday, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten to meet my saviors. I pulled away and smiled at them.

"I'm still making that promise." I said. They followed me as I grabbed all twelve blades from my bag and threw them away, glad that I was trying to let it all go, once and for all.

"I'm proud of you." Vic said, hugging me. I noticed Mike, Jaime, and Tony talking and I pointed this out to Vic.

"You'll see, Lydia, you'll see." He smiled. I just shrugged it off and noticed that they had stopped talking and that Tony had both my guitars.

"Tony, do NOT drop them, please." I said, walking over and grabbing my acoustic.

"They're all I have left of my dad, all I could bring with me when I was sent to the orphanage besides my clothes." I grabbed my backpack and purse but Tony wouldn't give me my guitar. I sat everything down and started chasing him, not noticing Vic and Jaime slip away. Mike picked me up and grabbed my bags, telling Tony to grab my other guitar.

"If you guys are kidnapping me, I have 0 objections." I said from my position over his shoulder.

"We aren't kidnapping you." He laughed, carrying me to their bus. Tony laughed at me and readjusted my guitars as we reached the bus.

"Wait, what happened to Vic and Jaime?" I asked, looking around. They just smiled at me and the pair in question came through the door, Vic holding something behind his back. I eyed the four of them with suspicion as they sat around me.

"Well, me and Jaime went down the street, and we were stopped by a woman at Perez's Corner Shop. She said, 'You're the boys who have kept my Lydia here.' She started saying how thankful she was, and how horrible the people at the orphanage were to you and how you had basically become like a daughter to her, and well, we decided to visit the orphanage. When we got there, there were a bunch of kids celebrating, saying 'The emo finally left' and 'I bet she's dead by now' and they were just horrible, and, well, we couldn't let you go back, so..." He handed me a stack of papers, most of which were my file from the orphanage, but the very top one was an adoption certificate that said Lydia Diane Fuentes. I looked at Vic, tears in my eyes.

"Thank you, so much." I choked out, hugging him. He wrapped his arms around me and smiled.

"Welcome to the PTV family." Jaime said.

Notes

And she meets them!