"Bonnie, I have to tell you something." Tony said with his brown eyes serious, but a hopeful glimmer in them.

The way we were standing in our abandoned field. So close our chests were touching. The way he stroked my cheek with his shaky tattooed hand, made me think he was finally going to say what I've been waiting and praying for him to say. I've waited so long.

Butterflies irrupted in my stomach. I felt like squealing, I was so excited. But more than that, I felt like I was sinning; Well I know I was sinning. Me and Tony's entire friendship was a sin, how would my mother react if she was still her? What is she thinking, up in Heaven?

"No. Tony, you don't feel that way. We're only friends. Even though we shouldn't be, c'mon you know that. Let's not take any more chances." I said taking a step back fro Tony, who already had his back turned to me.

Was I doing the right thing? My dad always said I would know when I was in love, and that it would hit me like a ton of bricks. Well thats how I felt with Tony. A ton of bricks just smashed into my heart. He's so important to me, and if I wanted to hear him say he loved me, it's obviously because I love him.

I went to put my hand on his shoulder, since he was now standing back to me. I wanted to tell him I wasn't thinking before, that I loved him too. But before I could, he had already turned around. His face twisted around, his short brown hair turning into long blonde ringlets His face tattoos disappearing All is features the same as mine. He shifted into the woman I've seen, but never met; My mother

"But you know this is right, Bonnie." His voice came out a match to mine. "You know you love me."



I sat up in my bed. Sweaty, I was all sweaty. that was the second time I've had that dream, there must be some message I'm missing. Surely I'm not in love with my 'Best-Secret-Friend', and surely it isn't my dead mother trying to tell me I am. I can't help but wonder, if mom was still here, would she know of Tony? Would I tell her everything? Would she be my best friend more than my mother?

5:02AM
I tried to get off my bed, only to find my blankets tangled around my feet, Standing up, they tugged my feet and I just ended up falling on the floor with a thud.

"Shoot." I said under my breath, looking around quickly to make sure my dad wasn't around and had heard me. I would have been in massive trouble.

I untangled the blankets from around me, thinking of the time me and Tony had talked about cuss words. I laughed a little at the memory, heading into my bathroom.

'Fuck.' Tony mumbled as he dropped his smoke.

'Tony!' I hit his shoulder playfully giggling 'Don't say that!'

Tony smiled back at me, making my heart melt a little more.

'What? Fuck? What's wrong with fuck? It's a perfectly fine verb.' He said smiling at me.

'It's a cuss word. Cussing is a sin.' I said.

''I never understood that. Why is shit or fuck a swear word. Why isn't stool or frog? Swear words are just normal words."

I let his information sink in, realizing he had a point.

I stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel loosely around me. I cleared the mirror of fog, and started doing my hair. My dad hates the way I do my hair. How I push my wavy brown hair over my eye, creating a fake fringe. He says I should wear it pulled back in two clips like the other girls in school and church. But I don't want to. This is how my mother wore her hair.

When I finished my hair, I did my eyeliner and mascara. When satisfied I went back into my room, and wow did I spend a while in the shower. I've only got half an hour to get to school. I put on my drab school uniform, laughing a little at the time me and Tony talked about them.

'I fucking hate these things!' Tony said throwing his bag down in the grass at our usual spot, throwing his tie in a different direction.

'I think they're fine. They stop people from wearing sinful clothing.' I said setting my bag down next to his.

'No. They keep people from being themselves And how the hell can clothing be sinful?' He asked plopping down on the grass beside me.

'I don't know. It's just the reason my dad told me.' I replied sitting next to him, pulling out the math we were going to work on.

'What the fuck? He's basically saying that clothes can send you to hell. Oh! That shirt is red! That's the Devil's color! Can't wear that! It's sinful!' Tony said mocking my dad, smiling at me.

I always find myself looking at the clock more than I should in last class. It's a good thing I'm good at English, because I rarely pay attention. My thoughts are usually off in what I call 'Tony Treason . I find myself thinking about running to the back of the school and into his arms. Holding his hand as we run to our field. Were we can be anything. Do anything. Say anything. Be anyone. But; I'm stuck in English.

Only half an hour left. 60 minutes and I can fun into the arms I belong in.

Wait? What am I saying?

Me. And. Tony. Are. Only. Friends.

Notes

I used the moments with Tony as time lapses. If you don't like it let me know, I'll stop. :)