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Innocent Blood

Chapter 33: "My Thrill Is Gone"

My body was sprawled out on top of the warm, very comfortable bed, like a classic, lazy teenager. I yawned, opening my eyes, noticing that I wasn’t in my room.

“Oh,” I said lowly, remembering that I had slept in Alyssa’s room with her. I shot up, scanning the room for her, the words she said last night immediately flooding into my brain again.

I saw her across the room, feriously opening drawers, shuffling through them, and slamming them shut. I was surprised that I didn’t wake up earlier with the noise she was making.

“Lissy? What are you doing?” I asked, my voice coated in sleep. She paused, slowly turning around. Her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks were tear-stained. Her hands were shaking. “Lissy, what’s wrong?” I asked, knowing that that was a dumb question. I didn’t have to ask what was wrong, because I already knew. She told me last night.

“I can’t find my purple sweater, and I lost my headphones. I need them,” she said, her voice shaking. I knitted my eyebrows and slid out of her bed.

“Just relax for a second, okay?” I said softly.

“I can’t relax, V-Vic! I’m going to be late to school!” she said, her breathing picking up.

“Lis, you don't need the sweater; it’s warm outside,” I reminded her.

“Yes I do!” she screeched. “Look!” at this point, fresh tears were streaming down her face. She extended her arm forward roughly, her face hardening.

“Alyssa, what the hell,” I whispered, walking towards her carerfully. I took her freshly raw arm in my hand, my lip quivering. She had hurt herself again, this time more severely. “Alyssa, you said—”

“I know what I said I just couldn’t help it!” she said, ducking her head in shame. I tilted her head back up gently, forcing her to look me in the eyes.

“You can’t do this, Lissy,” I said sadly.

“I know. I just felt so guilty,” she muttered.

“Guilty? For what? Nothing is your fault…” I said.

She just shook her head. “So I need my sweater,” she reminded me.

“Here,” I said. I released her arm and pulled my sweatshirt over my head. “Just wear this,” I handed it to her, and then I straightened out my messy hair. “You can have it. So if you feel bad about something, you remember our conversation last night,” I said.

She furrowed her eyebrows, but accepted the sweatshirt. “That still doesn’t solve the problem of it being warm outside,” she said quietly.

“Your school has air conditioning, right? I’m sure it will be fine,” I reassured. “Just—Just please, Alyssa, you can’t make a habit of this,” I said. “You can’t keep having to hide it. Please don’t do this,” I begged, my throat tightening up.

“I’m sorry,” she said in a small voice.

“No, Lissy, don’t be sorry,” I said warmly. “Don’t feel bad,” I said. She nodded slowly.

“Here, let me clean these,” I murmured, reaching for her arm again. Her face contorted in sadness as I sat her down on the edge of her tub, keeping her forearm out as I reached over for some Hydrogen Peroxide and bandages. “Don’t be sad,” I cooed, wiping away a tear that had fallen. She shook her head and averted her eyes from mine. I stared at her in confusion for a minute, but then I continued cleaning her arm. They weren’t bad, but they worse than last night. It sickened me to see that she had gotten up and immediately cut herself, while I was still in the room.

When they were clean and covered, she put on my sweatshirt and smiled softly. She sighed as she stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. I watched her carefully, seeing her frown at her reflection and brush out her hair a little too aggressively. I then realized that there was an entire side of Alyssa that I didn’t know.

“I’ll drive you to school today,” I blurted out, just to break her from her trance of angrily brushing her hair. I took the brush out of her hair and gently put it down on the side of her sink. “We can let Tony sleep in,” I added. She nodded appreciatively, clearly not up for seeing her older brother this morning.

“Wait, I still don’t have my headphones,” she frowned. I saw her eyes water up again. “I can’t not have music,” she whispered.

“You can borrow mine for today,” I suggested. I knew how she felt about needed music to get her through the school day. One of the worst days of my life began with losing my headphones. The day Mikey died, to be more specific.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Of course. Come on, little one,” I said, swinging an arm around her shoulder, scooping up her backback in my other arm, and leading her out of her room.

“I don’t have time for breakfast, let’s just go,” Alyssa said.

“Nope,” I disagreed. Afraid that she was struggling with that, too (Although, I’ve seen her eat plenty before; I just didn’t want her to start any other bad habits), I grabbed an apple from the counter. “You can eat it on the way to school,” I said firmly, tossing it to her. She sighed lightly but accepted the apple, taking a sarcastic bite out of it. I rolled my eyes and opened the passenger door for her, and she slid into the seat. I threw her backpack into the back and then went to the driver’s side.

“Do you know where to go?” she asked.

“Yeah, Clairemont, right?” I asked.

“Yep,” she said sourly.

“Is it bad?” I asked.

“Yep,” she replied, sinking in her seat a little.

“Lissy,” I turned to her. “You know you can tell me whatever is going on in that little head of yours, right?” I asked. She nodded, looking away and towards the window. I had never seen Alyssa like this before, and it honestly worried me.

I sighed, turning back to the road.

“You’re moving out today, right?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said, smiling a little when Bree flashed into my head. Then, I frowned, feeling nervous. I hoped that she was okay; I had yet to talk to her today. Granted, it was only seven thirty in the morning, so she was probably still asleep. Her new job didn’t start until the end of the month.

“Alyssa, are you going to be okay without Tony?” I asked. I felt somehow guilty for taking him away from her. She seemed like she needed someone more than I initially thought.

“Yes,” she hissed.

“You’d tell me if you had a problem with this, right?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said again.

“I don’t want to steal—”

“You’re not, Vic,” she said sharply. I furrowed my eyebrows at her angry tone.

“Okay, well, we’re here,” I said quietly.

“Thanks, Vic,” she said with a small smile. Her eyes flickered from me, to the window of the car, and I followed them to see her looking at a pack of other kids.

“Are those your friends?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said, opening the door, her eyes not once darting away from the group of people.

“Okay, well, um, have a good day at school,” I mumbled.

“Thanks, Vic,” she smiled. She grabbed her bag from the back and quickly jogged to my side of the car. She tapped on the window, and I smiled as I rolled it down.

“If you need anything, please call me. Or Tony. Don’t go through this alone,” I pleaded. She nodded, smiling bitterly.

“I’m sorry for everything,” she said.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” I said simply.

“It didn’t, like, trigger anything for you, did it?” she asked nervously.

I smiled softly at her thoughtfulness. “No, Alyssa, it didn’t,” I said. “I’m okay, now,” I said truthfully.

“Promise?” she asked.

“Promise. And you promise you’ll call me if you need anything? Even if it’s just help with homework? I mean, we are not that far away, anyway, but still,” I said.

“I promise,” she said.

“Promise me a second time,” I said, feeling like once was not enough.

Promise,” she said, smiling a little. I reached through the window and poked the corner of her mouth.

“Smile for me,” I said, and her grin widened. “Good,” I approved, dropping my arm.

“I should get going,” she said.

“Bye, Lissy. Talk to you later,” I said, giving her a wave. She reached inside of the car and patted my shoulder.

“Thanks again, Vic. See ya,” she said.

She turned away, and I restarted the car. I watched as she walked towards the school.

I watched the group of friends she had pointed out, and I watched as she completely walked past them. I watched as they stared at her with icy glares, and I watched as her back slightly slumped and her arms tightened around herself. I watched her disappearing into the school building, wishing that I could run in there and protect her from the monsters that I knew existed in there—monsters that I knew existed because I have faced them before, too.

I cried the entire drive back to Tony’s.

I sighed, knowing that today was going to be a rough day. Worrying about Alyssa, worrying about Bree, and, I couldn’t forget, worrying about myself.

“Hey, Tone,” I said, seeing that Tony was awake and already downstairs. “You’re awake early,” I noted. I snuck a peak at my reflection in a hallway mirror, relieved to see that all indications of my tears from the car ride had dissolved.

“I forgot to take Alyssa to school!” Tony said, his face stressed.

“No worries, bud, I just took her,” I said.

“Oh, you did?” Tony sighed in relief. “Ma would kick my ass if I made LIssy late,” he laughed.

I laughed, too. “Sorry, I figured you’d like to sleep in. I didn’t mean to cause you anxiety,” I raised an eyebrow at him with a chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah,” he dismissed me with a wave of his hand. He yawned, stretching his arms out. “I’m seeing Drew again today,” Tony mumbled.

“Awesome!” I cheered excitedly. “What are you guys doing?” I asked.

“I’m taking her to the skate park. I’m going to ask her to be my girlfriend. Vic, is that cheesy?” he asked normally. I accidently let out an “aw” before answering, receiving a glare from Tony.

“How are you going to do it?” I asked.

“Well…” Tony bit his lip. “I kind of planned something, but is that weird?”

“No, Tony. I mean, I wouldn’t know much about asking girls out, but I think they like that kind of thing,” I said. “What are you going to do?” I asked again.

“Um, well I was going to write it on the bottom of my skate board, and then do a trick and catch my board so she can see,” he said nervously.

“Aw, dude!” I jittered in my place in excitement.

“Calm down, Vic, I’m not asking you out,” Tony teased. I laughed, flicking him off.

“I wish,” I batted my eye lashes at him. He rolled his eyes.

“When are you going?” I asked.

“Noon,” he said. I checked the time; it was barely eight thirty in the morning.

“I’m so excited for you,” I grinned.

“I’m nervous,” Tony said.

“You’ll be fine. I promise,” I said. “Girls don’t bite,” I laughed.

“Yes, but they do reject you,” he pointed out.

“Tony, she didn’t reject you when you took her out! All it is is putting a label on your dating status. How many times have you gone out with her now? Twice? This time being the third?” I emphasized.

“Yeah, I guess,” he said.

“Exactly. Don’t worry. It will all work out in the end,” I assured.

“You seem to know everything,” Tony said.

“It’s a side effect of schizophrenia. I’m also psychic,” I smirked. Tony laughed. “I think I’m going to go to Bree’s early today,” I said.

“Okay,” Tony said.

“Does your sister need a ride after school?” I asked. Tony paused, looking at me as if to wonder why I cared.

“Nah, she’s fine,” he said.

“Okay. I just didn’t know if you had to, and I didn’t want that to interrupt your date,” I wiggled my eyebrows.

“Thanks, man,” he rolled his eyes. “She usually catches one with a friend,” he said. I nodded, wondering who that friend was and if he or she belonged in that pack of people from earlier.

“When are you going to Bree’s?” Tony asked.

“Er, really soon,” I said. “I’m not going to lie and say I’m not worried about her,” I muttered.

“Do what you gotta do,” Tony approved. I nodded, suddenly feeling inclined to got there now. I hadn’t thought of her all morning while I was dealing with Alyssa, but now I was tense.

“Okay, I’m going,” I sighed, not being able to handle the suspense. I mean, sure I could always call her, but I wanted to see her. I wanted to give her a reassuring hug. I wanted to love her. I wanted to see her happy.

“I’ll text you later about how it goes,” Tony said, and I gave him a positive thumbs up.

“You got this, dude,” I said.

“Thanks,” Tony smiled weakly.

I sighed as I drove to Bree’s place—well, technically our place. Tony, Bree, and I were still all splitting it evenly. It really was a great deal.

I shivered a little as I walked up the flights of stairs to our apartment, the image of Logan swinging in my mind. I crossed my fingers, praying that that image wouldn’t turn into Bree.

No, I thought. I couldn’t let myself think like that. Bree wouldn’t do that to me. This wasn’t the same as Logan…

With a hollow click, the door unlocked. I swung it open, a rush of cold, empty air blowing past me.

“Bree?” I called, masking my nervousness for happiness. I didn’t want her to think that I didn’t trust her to be on her own. “Babe, where are you?” I called. It was almost nine, so I figured she was still asleep. With a smile on my face, I decided to go to her room, longing to feel her in my arms.

I didn’t say anything as I walked into her room, not wanting to wake her. I sat down on her bed.

Her empty, made up, bed.

“Bree?” I whispered. I gasped, seeing a slip of paper on pillow. I immediately skimmed the writing, hoping to find reassuring words. She couldn’t leave me like Logan. No, no, no, I thought, tears flooding my eyes.

I sighed in relief, not seeing any words that hinted to death at all.

The sigh only lasted a second though, as I continued skimmed the words.

Certain words emphasized in my brain, and I felt dizzy.

I love you.

I’m sorry.

Leaving.

Temporary.

“She left me,” I murmured. My hands went numb and I dropped the paper, watching as it floated sadly to the hard wood floor. An icy tear slipped down my cheeks.

Notes


Yikes chapter 33 already?? ah!

Shit Sticks! Where the hell is Bree and what did the letter say??!?

So, er, yeah, A lot of drama and tons of surprises coming up for all of you lovely readers out there!

Don't forget to rate and subscribe and stuff, but I think it's a little late in the story to be saying that ahah I'm awkward bye

xx


__


PS I started a new story... It's going to be really short, though, if you're interested. Check it out! The Concrete Night

Comments

@precious_preciado
Hahha omg you're the bomb
aww
you've got a lotttt ahead of you though ;)

thankyou kind lady love you!!!

clairephernelia clairephernelia
4/28/14

Comment 600 kacchow ;)
Um so i have heaps of feelings and i cant believe you killed mikey . poor Vic :'( but as always your stories are amazing and perfect you're like the prince George of stories and I love it . I'm only up to chapter 8 (or seven?) And I wanna cry at like every paragraph duuuuuude hahaha

Real talk i love mayday parade :) and you!! ♥

preciado-s preciado-s
4/27/14

@The painter
Wow omg thank you so so so much!!!!! This means a lot to me <3 Just, ugh, thank you so much
I'm so happy that you've liked this
A few minutes ago I stumbled on something new and I read it and then saw that you were the author--I think you write well, too!! Just keep doing it! :)
xoxo

clairephernelia clairephernelia
3/27/14

OMG this story was honestly so good! My emotions were literally all over the place. So many plot twists I couldn't stop reading the whole time it sucked me in. You are such a good writer, (I'm sure you already know that) but honestly you should consider being an author because this was just amazing. It was like I was there, I felt everything the characters felt, which is how it should be! You deserve so much praise and ugh just thank you for entertaining me with your fantastic talent. It's weird because I noticed I started remembering to take MY medicine as well after reading this. I have bipolar and a whole mess of other things and for some reason this story made me feel better. It's hard living life this way but it can be done. Just holy shit this story.
You rock.
Okay bye.
one day I hope I can write this well...
bye XOXO <3

thepainter thepainter
3/27/14

@clairephernelia
Don't thank me, Thank you for all of this c:

A br0ken soul A br0ken soul
3/21/14