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Mibba

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Sometimes things don't work out the way we plan.

Not broken, just bent

I was rudely awoken from my blissful sleep by the most obnoxious alarm ever.
BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP.
I heard Jaime growl and pull me against him.
“No leaving bed yet.” He mumbled. I groaned and opened my eyes.
I sighed blissfully, happy in this moment. Till I realised what day it was.
Fuck!” My eyes shot open and I sat up, disturbing Jaime, who groaned annoyidly.
I reached for my phone. It was only 8.
I lay down again and Jaime glared at me. Clearly not happy about the early wake up.
I looked at him innocently and smiled.
“I has school.” I said.
He just glared.
“Soznotsoz bye.” I said laughing and ran to get ready for school.
“YOU’RE EVIL YOU KNOW THAT!” I heard him cry after me.

Mondays are the worst at school. I have the shittiest subjects and the day literally drags on. I decided to drive today; I needed to be fully alone and think. You Me At Six started playing and it was the song ‘Fireworks’.
Well this song brings back bad memories.
I started singing along, thinking of him. I gave that bastard everything and I get it all thrown back in my face. And he still won’t let me go, even though he wants nothing to do with me? Logic.
I let out a frustrated sigh as I pull up to school.

Hannah must’ve spotted my colourful pattern and grey jumper because as soon as I was out of the car, she came running over.
“Okay, you’re in your comfy clothes. What’s happened?” I sighed and grabbed my bag and followed her into school, explaining everything that happened.
“Oh wow… kicked out again? Sheesh… You haven’t heard anything from Nick have you?” She questioned. I looked at her. She always knows these things.
“No, but one of the songs related to him came on this morning.” I sighed.

“Aw Cass, you don’t need to think about him! Let’s have an absolutely shit Monday together!” I laughed and we met up with the rest of the group.
This is good, distraction, and stay happy.
The day dragged on but I was fairly happy.
I said goodbye to a few of the girls I was walking with and jogged over to my car and jumped in. Savouring my good mood, I blasted my stereo and drove back to Jaime’s- sorry, MY house.

I opened the door and yelled out that I was home.
No answer. Weird, because Jaime’s car was there. I went to my room and dumped my stuff and went to the kitchen- Always hungry after school.
I rummaged around the kitchen and ended up finding instant noodles, I was happy. They were my favourite food.

As I wanted for them to heat I went look for Jaime. I went to his room and found him, half naked- only in a towel.
I blushed and tried not to make eye contact.
“Oh, hey Cassie, you home already?” He asked giving me one of his signature smiles. I nodded.
“Okay, I’ll get changed and be right out.” I left and went to my food and sat on the couch watching TV.
“You’re eating?” He looked at me funny. I nodded.
“I always eat after school.” I explained. He just watched me.
“I think I get how this works,” he said. And it was my turn to look at him funny.
“You don’t eat breakfast, you maybe eat something at school, then come home starving, eat as much as you feel like, then don’t eat dinner.” I felt my jaw go slack, he figured me out so easily?
“But that’s not happening here, you’re going to eat, and it will be healthy. Whatever tablets you have to take won’t substitute your diet.” He told me sternly and I pouted.

“What if I refuse?” I taunted.
“I’ll force you.” He replied simply. I laughed and said he could try, but he just shook his head.
After I finished I laid on the couch and Jaime came over and told me to move.
“No.” I said
“Dude, just move over.” He ordered.
“Make me.” I dared childishly. He then straddled me and looked me dead in the eye with a smirk. He then proceeded to tickle the fricking life out of me until I had tears coming from my eyes and surrended.
“So you’ll move?” He asked triumphantly.
“No hahahahahahha,” I laughed. He pouted.
“Then I’ll just lie on top of you~” I choked as he made emphasis of jumping on me. After he stopped wriggling it actually got comfy.
“Trade you spots?” I wheezed as he pressed on my bladder and diagphram.
“FINALLY!” He yelled in triumph. Jaime laid down just as I had and I pouted, he patted his chest signally for me to lie down. I laughed and jumped on him, relishing in the groan he let out in pain.
Evil.” He wheezed.
“You know it.” I laughed.

Jaime and I watched TV all afternoon till I declared I had better do my homework.
“Oh homework, sucks to be you,” he laughed and I punched him.
I went to my bedroom desk and got into it.
5 Minutes in suddenly a bass starts playing really loud.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I yell. I hear Jaime laugh.
“I have to practice! Live with it!” he shouts back. I growl and ignore him.
Eventually I finish and sit on my phone for a while, keeping in contact with everyone.

Occasionally his name would come up in my news feed on facebook and every time it felt like a little stab at my heart. Suddenly I didn’t feel so social or in the mood for anyone. So I shut my door, lay down on my bed and listened to sad music. The emptiness creeping in and the tears started.
“I’m sick of feeling this way.” I sob. After a while I just stare into space, either constantly thinking or just not at all.

I don’t know how much time passes, but Jaime knocks on my door announcing dinners ready.
“I’ll be there in a bit.” I heard Jaime leave.
Beep beep. My phone texted.
It was Nick.
I opened it and it was a silly picture joking about our possible situation. I replied saying ‘Hahahaha omfg.’
‘Got them yet actually? Aha.’
‘Yep,
’ no point in lying.
‘So more then likely not pregnant…’ He asked
‘Yeah clearly I’m not. Just really sick. Aren’t you lucky?’ I sighed.
‘You can still be with them just very low chance? Umm yeah I guess…’ Um dude, the whole point of a period was to tell you you’re not pregnant.
‘What do you mean? You guess? :L If I was you I’d be over the moon my ex isn’t pregnant.’ I replied
‘You can still have your period and be pregnant? Yeah but the more I thought about it the more it grew on me :/’ My breath hitched.
‘… I haven’t told Hannah I’m not so she said she’ll still get me the test. It grew on you…?’ My heart started thumping.
‘Ohk. Don’t worry, no point explaining.’ By this point I was shaking.
‘No no, you need to explain…’
‘Please
.’ I added quickly.

‘No point…’
‘There is.’
I said simply.
‘Why? he asked.
‘Because I want to understand why it grew on you.’ I took a deep breath.
‘Having a kid grew on me Cassie.’ I felt the tears start.
‘Why though? Barely a week ago you said you’d kill yourself if I was pregnant.’
‘What?!’ clearly someone didn’t remember being a total dick over the phone.
‘Remember the phone call a week ago when we blew up?’ I tried to refresh his memory.
‘Nope.’ Fuckwit.
‘Well I do. Because we spoke about this and you said that.’
‘Ok.
’ Wow Nick, wow.
‘…Do you really think we could keep it but nick?’ I asked, suddenly hopeful to speak to him.
‘No point talking because you are 95% of not being so meh.’ Change your attitude much?

‘So meh? Wow.’ Looking back on this, the next part I said was my stupidest moment in a while.
‘it could’ve been implantation bleeding, it lasted three days…’ I added.
‘Now you carry on with this shit?! Fuck you tell everyone its me that keeps dragging on and on? Every time I try and stop talking to you, you always say something at the end which if I don’t reply I’m a cunt!’ Well fuck!
‘Mmm that’s me hey. This isn’t what I mean when I say you carry on. I’m just listing possibilities, but don’t even worry hey. I’ll leave you alone. Bye Nick.’

I threw my phone to the ground and got up and punched a wall, actually leaving a dent. Why did I have to fall in love with him? Why did I always have to be so naïve and hopeful when he messages me? FUCK.
I bawl my eyes out on the floor, and after a while I pick myself up, realising I forgot about eating with Jaime. I quickly went to the bathroom and washed my face, then went to find Jaime.

I found him at the stove, his back to me. So I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist.
“Whoa, hey there short stuff, you okay?” He asked, trying to look over his shoulder and down at me.
“I don’t know.” Came my muffled reply from his shirt.
“Whatcha mean?” He asked as he continued cooking spaghetti.
“It’s like before. I’m not fine as in fine, but fine as in you don’t have to worry about me. But I’m not okay.” Wow that probably confused him.
He turned around and squatted a bit to look my in the eye.
“What happened?”
“I think I’m officially broken…” I said, daring not to meet his eyes.

“You’re not broken, you’re just bent.” I looked at Jaime wide eyed and that’s when he slowly lent towards me, and Jaime kissed me.

Notes

Do you think the whole kiss thing is rushed or good timing? I feel like im dragging on yet rushing at the same time. Feed back would be great guys! Enjoy! xo :D

Comments

@theghostinside
You're definitely not weird, trust me! Hahah yeah others do feel it too
Sashdawg Sashdawg
8/21/13
This is perfect. I completely get the coming home from school emptiness.. I thought I was totally weird but im not, other people feel it too!
dabadabada dabadabada
8/20/13
@Sashdawg

yeeeeyyy. thank youuuuu. u are amazing.iloveyou
MeKOTLlama MeKOTLlama
8/19/13
@MeKOTLlama
Updating as we speak~ :3
Sashdawg Sashdawg
8/19/13
LOVE IT <3 Update please?...:D..
MeKOTLlama MeKOTLlama
8/19/13