To live in love and die

The next Saturday came sooner than I had expected. I managed to convince the University to not kick me and Sophie out on Wednesday, explaining how we both had new confirmed places to stay, and that we only needed three more days.
We both ended up taking the day off from work on Saturday, dedicating the whole day to the moving. All of my things were already packed and stored away in many large carton boxes.
I stand in my empty bedroom space, staring at the old paintings, doodles and figures I had painted over the walls throughout my college years.
“I’m going to miss this place.” Sophie whispers, coming in and standing next to me, contemplating my artwork on the walls.
“Me too.”
She leans her head on my shoulder, her long blonde hair tickling my neck. “I’m going to miss you too.”
I wrap an arm around her shoulders and squeeze her tight. “Aw, come on Sophs. It’s not like we’re moving across the country or something. We’ll just be a few minutes apart. Tony’s place is only like ten minutes away from Lena’s.”
“I guess. But still, it’ll be weird to not wake up to your terrible singing every morning, and I’m going to miss getting angry at you for putting your paint splattered clothes in the washing machine and ruining mine.”
I laugh at this, remembering her angry face as she used to burst into my room with her favorite blouses hanging in her hands, ruined. “I’m sorry for that.”
She laughs too, her breath tickling my skin. “Ish okay. I bet you’re gonna miss me jumping on your bed to wake you up.”
I make a big deal out of snorting and pushing her head off my shoulder. “Not really.”
Her mouth hangs wide open and she shoves me playfully. “Shut up! I know you will.”
I chuckled at her annoyed expression and ruffle her hair a bit, making her furrow her eyebrows and give me a death glare.
The doorbell interrupts our small friendly fight and her eyes instantly light up. “That must be Tony and the guys.”
I follow her out to the living room and stand beside her as she swings the door open. Tony, Jaime, Mike and last but not least Vic, all walk into the small apartment I called home for the past four and a half years.
I give them all a quick hug as a greeting, and laugh as Mike gives my bum a slap.
“Pervert.” Vic mutters under his breath, flashing me an amused smile.
Mike simply shrugs with a guilt-less smirk on his face. “What can I say? The girl’s got the booty.”
I roll my eyes, suppressing a laugh. I notice Jaime’s eyes grow wide and hear the sound of him sucking in a breath.
“You girls painted this?”
Sophie and I both look over at the same time towards our mural-painted wall. A collage of images, colors, feelings, figures, and random designs.
“Yeah, we did.” Sophie raises her fist and bumps mine, initiating our own personal handshake, which consisted in three fist bumps, to back-handed slaps and a slap on each other’s butt. “That’s artist’s teamwork there.”
Tony smiles his gorgeous wide smile when we do our handshake, and looks down to try and hide it. I think it’s pretty adorable how outgoing Sophie is in comparison to him. I guess that’s what makes their relationship work—they balance each other out.
Jaime smiles widely, with an impressed expression written all over his face. “Nice work.”
I stretch my lips to a wide grin and acknowledge his compliment with a low thanks.
We all stand a few more moments, contemplating the mural.
Eventually, Sophie snaps us all back to attention. “All right suckers! We’ve got tons of carton boxes, a couch, two beds, and a dining table to load onto the trucks.” She starts ushering the boys towards the rooms, where all our packed stuff lay. She looks silly, tiny in comparison to the tall guys, pushing with all her force and shoving them down the hall. “We need your macho strength! C’mon! Don’t be pussies and get your asses moving.”
They all chuckle at her eagerness to get going. Mike frees himself from her pushing hands and leans down to whisper In my ear. “I don’t think Tony’s getting any pussy today if he doesn’t obey the general’s commands.”
I laugh out loud, holding my stomach with one hand and pulling Mike to my room with the other, Vic following suit.
“I heard that you ass!” Tony yells at us from Sophie’s room, where he and Jaime followed her to start working.
Mike quickly dismisses his comment, a small smirk playing on his lips. Vic gives him a friendly clap on the back and assesses his surroundings—my room.
“So, where do we start?”


Mike jumped down from the pickup truck, after having hooked up the living room couch (which I had won from Sophie, but she got the dining table), along with the rest of my cardboard boxes, dresser, and bookshelf.
He claps his hands together, a satisfied look on his face. “So I guess we’re all set?” he asks.
I glance over at Sophie. “I guess we are.” She’s standing by Tony, his arm around her shoulders as Jaime climbs off another pickup truck, this one holding Sophie’s things.
One of these trucks was lent by the same friend Mike borrowed the truck for the night of my twenty fourth birthday, under the stars in the meadow. The other one belonged to Jess’s brother.
Sophie glances at me with sad eyes, and I see an apology deep inside them. She knows I would rather keep living with her than have to part our own ways, but I understand the fact that she wants to take the next step with Tony. I’m glad for her, too. I’ve never seen her this happy with a steady relationship.
Of course, I’ll miss her, and she’ll miss me too. We’re like sisters, and it’s going to be hard letting her go. On the other side though, I’m happy to have the chance to spend more time with Lena. Besides, her place is a lot closer to Mike and Vic’s than this apartment.
Sophie’s eyes suddenly become alert. “Oh, wait! I have to empty our mailbox one last time. I might have something from work.”
“Okay, I guess we’ll get going then?” I ask, glancing back at Mike and Vic, who were going to be the ones to come back with me to Lena’s place.
“Yeah, whenever you’re ready.” Vic says, shrugging.
I glance at Sophie, and before I know it her arms are locked around me in a tight embrace, her nose buried deeply in the crook of my neck. “I know I’ll see you again today, at Tony’s—I mean our place, but I just want to say I’m really going to miss you Sammy. I love you.”
I nod against her hair, tears threatening to fall down my face any moment. “Me too Sophs.”
She eventually lets go of me, retreating back to the building to retrieve our mail. I wave Tony and Jaime goodbye, while climbing into the truck that held my things, Mike climbing in beside me on the driver’s side, Vic on my other side.
The engine roars to life, and soon enough, we’re moving, away from my home for the last four or five years. I look ahead of me, choking back tears, leaving a part of me behind, but eager to see ahead of me in life.



“How much shit do you have Sam?!” Vic exclaims, wiping sweat from his forehead and taking a deep breath.
“Oh shut it Fuentes, we’re almost done unpacking.” I snap back at him.
“Well you girls didn’t have to carry in an enormous bookshelf and couch into this goddamn room! Which smells weird by the way.” Vic sniffs around the air, a weird expression on his face.
“I don’t smell anything.” Mike says.
“Well, this used to be Macy’s room. I cleared all her stuff out but this weird smell still remained. She used to smoke a lot of weed—and other things sometimes. I guess that’s it.” Lena says, her eyebrows knitting together tightly over her dazzling blue eyes.
I raise my eyebrow at Mike, a smile on my lips. “No wonder you don’t find the smell funny.”
He stiffs as he crouches down to pick up an empty box and pile it up with the rest of the empty, unpacked ones. He shoots me a wild, cheesy grin, and I roll my eyes, continuing to unpack my books and organize them on my shelf.
We continue to work in silence for a few minutes, each of us unpacking different things. Mike and Vic are unpacking my art supplies, organizing them just as I indicate. Lena is helping me organize my clothes in my dresser—by color according to her.
I was extremely grateful for everything they were doing for me. Five or six months ago, I only had Sophie, my art and music. But now, I had an incredible boyfriend, and the best friends I could ever ask for. Jaime always made me laugh, Vic had become like a brother to me in such a short time, and Tony was always understanding, and made my best friend happy. Jess was always available to talk, and Lena had saved me from going homeless.
I honestly don’t know how I got so lucky all of a sudden.
A few more hours, and we were all standing by the doorway to my room, regarding our work. Contrary to my last room, this had dark purple walls—which I actually really like. I had a big window, which showed the beautiful city of San Francisco, from high up. Our apartment was in the eight floor of a ten story apartment building. How Lena and Macy managed to throw that enormous party a couple of months ago, I had no idea.
My bed was dressed the same as my last room, my bookshelf was organized the same way, and my painting supplies were standing in their corresponding corner of the room, beside the window—the perfect view for inspiration. The only thing different was that I would have to share a bathroom with Lena, since this apartment had only two bedrooms and one bathroom.
Of course, I was used to my own bathroom, but I didn’t really mind. I had a place to live in, and that was way more than I could ever want.
“Thanks you guys, seriously.” I wrapped an arm around the small frame of Lena’s shoulders, and she timidly leaned into me.
“No problem roomie. I’m really excited for this.” She replies.
Suddenly, Mike gasps out loud. “Bro! I just realized we’ll have to get used to fucking our girlfriends with only a wall separating us! How rad is that?”
Vic, Lena and me all proceeded to stare at Mike with wide, unbelieving eyes. His expression turned from giddy to awkward, his highfive hanging in the air with no response from Vic.
“Well at least I know today’s not gonna be one of those days.” I mutter, earning a shrill laugh from both Lena and Vic.
“Hey!” Mike exclaimed, pouting profoundly.
“Don’t be a wuss.” I roll my eyes.
Vic laughs, staring at me and Mike. “You guys are great. Oh and really Sam, I was glad to help. Anything for the sister in law right?” He raises his eyebrows and ruffles my hair.
“Thanks Vic. You’re all done here, I really appreciate your help.”
Lena’s eyes brighten. “Oh Vic! Can we go out to get lunch at that new sushi place?”
Vic kisses her forehead, closing his eyes momentarily. “Of course we can sweetie.”
Mike makes a gagging noise from behind me, earning a punch in the arm from me. “What? Too much mushiness for me.”
“Idiot. Let’s go Lena.” And with that, Vic takes his girl’s hand and leaves the apartment to Mike and me.
Immediately, his lips crash down on mine, igniting flames on my skin and butterflies on my lower stomach.
His hands knot in my hair roughly, his lips a drunkening wine for my body.
“Mike, I’m not done yet you horny bastard!” I laugh, looking around my room, which still had minor details to yet be unpacked.
“Aw c’mon! You’re done already! All twelve boxes are unpacked.” He whines.
I regard his face. “Twelve? I only had eleven boxes packed.”
His cheeks acquire a rosy tinge, his lips spread into a shy smile. “Oh, well I forgot to mention. The twelfth box is mine.”
I raise an eyebrow at him. “Yours?”
“Yeah, mine.”
“Why would you need your own box? You didn’t have any of your things at my old place.” I retort, growing curious and regarding his face intently.
He bites his lip, his tongue playing with his lip ring. “Yeah well, I know that. I brought a box of a couple of my things to keep here, so I did have some things at your place.”
I smile widely, my grin stretching painfully big. “What kinds of things?”
He shrugs, trying to look casual. “Well you know, toothbrush, cologne, deodorant, couple of clothes, underwear, razors, shaving cream………..essentials.”
“And why did you bring them here?”
“What do you mean why? You’re my girlfriend! I’m just claiming what I have a right to!”
My laugh echoes through the room, and I bury my nose in his neck, inhaling his sweet smell of cologne and cigarettes.
“What’s to funny you little Mexican smurf?” he complains.
“Nothing. I just think its adorable that you want to have some of your shit here.”
“Hey! It aint shit sister!” He tries saying this in a nigga voice, but fails miserably.
I roll my eyes, and bring my lips back up to his, deepening it this time. I am hopelessly in love with him, and the fact that he wants to have things here—that he wants to really make this relationship formal is such a big deal for me. And, as I said, it’s adorable.
I start retreating backwards, to my bed, my arms wrapped around Mike’s neck and pulling him along with me.
With his free hand, Mike shuts the door closed and walks with me, his hand immediately coming back to lift my shirt over my head and discarding it somewhere in my new room.
Before I can say or do anything, he goes down on his knees, pressing his lips on my stomach, sending waves of electricity through all of me.
I sigh loudly, knotting my hands in his hair. His tongue swirls around my skin, his fingers trace soft patterns following his lips as they suck, nibble, and kiss me everywhere.
“I love your little tummy.” He whispers, his stubble tickling me as he smiles against my skin.
“Shut up. You said I didn’t have a tummy you filthy little liar!”
He stands up, towering over me again, his eyes burning with lust and desire, but also amusement. “Well then, I take it back. You do have a little tummy, but I love it.”
I open my mouth to retort, but he places a hand on my shoulder and pushes me back, sending me down on top of my large set of pillows, cushions and stuffed animals. Yes, stuffed animals I said.
“You moth—“ his hand clamps down on my mouth, muffling the rest of my words as he places himself over me.
“Shut the fuck up and let me kiss you!” He chuckles, unclasping my bra in one swift movement and tossing it over his head. “I swear to God, you’re so annoying sometimes.”
I try being annoyed at him, but fail miserably as his lips close around my nipple. I close my eyes at the intimate contact, relishing the feeling of his tongue swirling over one of my most intimate places, his thumb massaging the other.
It would seem as if my breasts fit perfectly in his hands, exactly the right size. Well, then again, everything felt right when I was making love with Mike.
“Oh God.” I whisper, clawing at his back in a furious attempt of taking off his shirt. He quickly assists me, and before I know it, both our pants, our shirts, and my bra are sprawled over the room in random places.
As we both lay in only our underwear, I let out a throaty groan as he swiftly inserts two fingers inside of me.
His lips crash down on the crook of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. His fingers move in and out slowly—painfully slowly.
“More Mike.” I gasp, my voice hoarse and low.
“Say the magic word baby.” The vibrations of his voice hum at the base of my neck, sending fire through my veins, and causing my fingernails to dig in his back.
He moans at my sudden reaction. “Please.” I groan.
He complies, and pushes even deeper, also picking up his pace a little. Just enough to drive me insane, but not push me over the edge.
I bite down on the skin of his shoulder, trying to contain my moans.
“Don’t hold back Sam.”
But it was hard, I was still ashamed of the things that came out of my mouth when he gained control of my body.
“Ready?” He asks, after a while. I nod eagerly, and he hovers over me, making direct eye contact with me, as he positions himself at my entrance.
His eyes are liquid fire, burning with passion and desire. I’m sure mine mirror the same feelings. Dark eyes against warm brown eyes. His lips press gently against mine one last time, before he suddenly thrusts into me, causing me to let out a yelp against his mouth.
“What is it?” He pulls back to look down at me, with eyes closed, my lower lip between my teeth. “Does it still hurt?”
I nod slightly, opening my eyes to meet his warm ones, full of concern. “A little, it’s just still something I have to get used to. Nothing compared to the first time, I’m okay.”
I vaguely remember that night under the stars, so recent but also so long ago. Mike had insisted we stop when he saw how much pain I was in, but I had begged him to wait it out with me. So as he stroked my hair and kissed my lips repeatedly, I had managed to calm down enough to let the feeling of pleasure engulf me through the pain.
And that’s what happened right now. As soon as my last words were spoken, I was driven alive by the exquisite feeling of him inside me.
He kisses me. “All better?”
“Yes. Please Mikey, I’m good.” I practically begged, biting down insanely on his lower lip.
He growled against my mouth, flipping us both over so I was sitting on top of him.
We rocked our hips together, relishing every inch of each other’s bodies, becoming one, until we reach or breaking point, our peak, screaming out our names and collapsing into one another.
Mike is careful enough to flip me over, and finish on my stomach, considering our sudden hormone outburst hadn’t left us any time to consider the fact that we were out of condoms.
“God, I love you Sam.” He whispers into my hair, biting on my earlobe gently. His arm wrapped around my middle as we lay into each other.
“Me too baby boy.” I sigh.
“We have to get going to Tony’s don’t we?” He groans, flipping over and checking the time on his phone.
“I think so.”
He kisses my lips one last time before getting out of bed. “Alright then, let’s get going.”





“God Sophie, this place looks amazing!” I exclaim, as we walk into Tony and Sophie’s place.
It’s not an apartment, but rather a small house in a friendly neighborhood. I would’ve never imagined this to be Tony’s place before Sophie moved in. I mean, a rockstar living alone in a small cozy home? It just didn’t seem likely. But then I vaguely remembered he used to live with his friend Jaxin Hall, who is married. Maybe he and his wife wanted to move to a bigger place and Tony grasped the opportunity to ask Sophie to move in.
That was my best guess, at least.
“Thanks Sam! Come on in!” Sophie hugged us both, me and Mike quickly before retreating back inside the house and disappearing down a doorway I could only guess led into the kitchen.
We followed behind to the living room, where Tony Jaime, Vic, Lena and Jess all sat in the couches, watching a soccer game apparently. Jaime was the one who seemed most agitated. He was wearing the Mexican soccer team jersey, cheering on and hooting insanely.
“Don’t mind Jaime, he gets pretty passionate when Mexico plays.” Mike whispers in my ear, making me smile.
I wave at everyone as a greeting, and sit down beside Lena, Mike taking his place in the armrest beside me.
We all watched the game together for what seemed like days, but apparently it was only less than 90 minutes.
“FUCK THIS SHIT THEY SHOULD’VE WON THE GAME WAS RIGGED.” Jaime complained loudly, after Tony had changed the channel. Jess tried to calm him down but gave up after failing miserably.
“C’mon Jaime we all knew they would lose. They haven’t been on their best game lately.” I say, smiling at my friend who seemed to be losing his mind.
“NONONO I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT SAMANTHA.” He countered back.
Suddenly, Sophie sat up. “Oops Sam! I forgot to tell you. I was sorting through the mail and you got a wedding invitation.” She walked over to the kitchen and came back with a cream colored envelope, tied closed with a delicate blue ribbon inside a plastic bag.
“A wedding? From who?” I asked curiously, taking the envelope from her hands and tearing the package open.
Everyone, even Jaime had redirected their attention to me, and as I flipped the cardboard letter open, my heart stopped.

Estas cordialmente invitada al festejo de la boda de
Julio Martínez Hubbard
Y
Isabella Montenegro Villa
El día especial se llevará a cabo el dia 10 de octubre del 2013, en el club campestre Mazatlán. Mazatlán Sinaloa.
Esperamos contar con tu presencia.
“Sam, what is it? What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Vic asked, causing me to raise my eyes and find eight pairs of concerned eyes fixated on me.
My expression must’ve been impressive, because everyone was looking at me with grand curiosity.
I swallow thickly, and manage to find my voice. “It’s an invitation to my brother’s wedding.”
Nobody in the room seemed to understand, except Sophie, because they all proceeded to say things like ‘aw well that’s great!´ or ´cool´ or similar things. But not Sophie. She quickly came over to my side and shoved Mike out of the way, taking his place in the arm rest beside me.
She placed a hand on my shoulder, snatching the invitation away and scanning it with her eyes.
“Sam, there’s another letter attached to the back.” She says, handing me another cream colored envelope, but this time simple and plain, that seemed to be hidden behind the invitation.
I took it with shaking hands, and opened it, taking the letter out and reading the pages, my mind registering the words over and over again, shock blinding my mind.
The letter read:


Dear Samantha,
My beloved sister, I want to start this letter by saying how much I’ve missed you over these past five years. You don’t have any idea how much I’ve died to communicate with you, but I was afraid. Ever since you left to go to that art college, after your fight with mom and dad, I have had this feeling at the bottom of my heart that you do not want anything to do with me and the rest of our family. But I do. I was scared of your rejection, but now its way too important to not reach out.
As you can see, I’m getting married. Yes, Isabella and I got together a couple of years ago. Remember we used to date in High School? Well, she moved back into town and I saw her at a restaurant, and it simply happened. Really Sam, I am so in love. I would be the happiest man alive if there wasn’t something still missing—you.
I’m not asking you to come back permanently, I understand why you left, and I respect it. I understand the need to pursue what your true passion is—art for you. But what I cannot understand is how you left me behind, your big brother, your best friend. You never once tried getting in touch with me, and I have to say that really hurt Sam, but I’m putting that all behind.
It would truly mean the world to me if you were here on my special day. All the family is going to be there. Mom, Dad, Abuela, our aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces. Did you know little Enrique is already eight years old? Time flies! Catalina said to tell you little Marco and Martin miss their auntie Sammy. I miss my little sister.
Please come. I would give anything to have you in this day with me. I don’t care what mom thinks, I don’t care if dad protests. Abuela, Isabella, and all of our cousins want to see you again. No parents can hold a grudge to their child for too long, I know it. Please please please come. I’ll pay for the trip if it’s necessary. Hell, you can even bring whoever you want! I don’t know how crazy your life is over there in San Diego, but I hope you are surrounded by tons of friends and success.
I’d love to meet the people you spend time with. As you may remember, Isabella’s parents are owners of the Pueblo Bonito Hotel, and we could easily accommodate you and anyone else who you bring. Two, five, ten, twenty people even—I don’t care. Anything and anybody to have you here.
Hermanita, little sister, please give me the joy of having my old partner in crime beside me on the best day of my life. Five years is too long to be away from the people who love you the most. Take a break from the US, come with us for a couple of weeks. I want to see you. Hell, even Fernando wants to see you! You do remember him don’t you? My best friend since middle school who used to pick on you all the time and who you never got along with? We all want to see you!
I’m dying to have my sister back.
I really hope you take this into consideration. I only came across your address by a stroke of luck and a few calls to your university.
Please let me know if you’re coming, and if you are how many people will be with you. Send me an email to juliomtz@hotmail.com or just text me! I still have the same number as always, with the hope that you would call me someday.
I love you lil sis, forever and always.
Your brother, Julio.


Tears prick at the back of my eyes, blinding my vision and making it blurry. My heart felt like it was about to fall down my stomach, my throat felt as if I’d dry-swallowed a pill. But most of all, the guilt was threatening to burn me down.
“Sam……….what is it?” Sophie eventually breaks the silence.
I blink back the tears, and look up to my friends, managing to form a weak smile on my lips.
“Anybody up for a wedding in Mexico this October?”

Notes

I AM SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN SO LONG.
SCHOOL WAS KILLING ME AND I'M FINALLY FREE. I HAVENT FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU GUYS I SWEAR.
PLEASE IM SO SORRY
I HOPE YOU STILL WANT ME TO WRITE THIS STORY, DO YOU???????????????

I HOPE YOU ENJOY.
LOVE YOU SO MUCH SEXUAL UNICORNS. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.

Check out my PTV and other band art on my instagram @alebandam, or my tumblr page artdelirium.tumblr.com (I follow back). HAPPY HOLIDAYS!