Little Lady
Capítulo ocho
I've always been the crying type, the weaker specie on a whole other planet of sensitive. I didn't want to be such a cry-baby, I didn't want to be a melodramatic bitch, I wanted to be able to stand tall and tough and not hide all my shitty feelings behind sarcasm and anger.
Mike still sat across from me, we'd been sat this way for hours, he'd held me while I cried and then we sat in silence. It was a comfortable silence though—well as comfortable as you can possibly feel in my situation.
I had questions, I needed answers, there was so many circling my brain, dancing on my tongue, burning the back of my throat. What harm would it do, right?
"Why doesn't Vic talk?" I started with the question that had been bothering me mostly. Mike's head abruptly snapped up from his penetrating gaze at the floor at the sound of my voice, slicing through the silence he had obviously gotten used to.
"Er, um, yeah, it's a long story" he shrugged not meeting my eyes and I got the feeling he didn't want to talk about it. Something inside me told me to keep pushing though, to keep interrogating until I knew the answer.
"I'm not exactly going anywhere any time soon" I was referring to the chains with a bitter laugh "So, I have a pretty long time, spill" he smiled sadly and sighed heavily.
"It's not really my story to tell" he looked conflicted. As if he wanted to tell me but it was too painful a memory to recall.
"I doubt Vic's going to be telling me it any time soon" I pointed out, rather insensitively and he winced. I thought I'd just leave the topic as it was clearly a touchy topic.
"When are you getting Vic from the hospital?" I asked trying to change the subject slightly. His jaw dropped and alarm scribbles itself all over his face.
"Shit, oh shit!" He exclaimed, looking at his wrist for a watch that wasn't there and then digging in his skinny jeans for something. He produced a phone and looked at the time. "Oh fuck! I can't believe I forgot" he stood up and hurried out of the room.
And just like that I was alone.
"Everyone keeps calling you my girlfriend" Sam wrinkled his nose up in distaste and I laughed. The lake was a few yards away from our naked feet, making soft swooshing sounds as we sat on the ground, carefree and six years old.
"Ew no, girlfriends and boyfriends have to kiss!" I mirrored his grossed out expression, picking up a stone near my foot and throwing it as far as I could—it didn't reach the lake.
"Girls are icky" he shook his head, picking up a stone himself and trying to throw it further than I'd thrown mine—he managed to.
"So are boys!" I folded my arms over my chest. He stuck out his pinky and closed his eyes, trying to make his stupid girly voice sound formal.
"Do you pinky promise to never kiss boys or girls ever?"
"Girls? Why would I kiss girls?" I asked with genuine confusion.
"I don't know, I just don't want you to catch cooties!" I rolled my eyes, boys have cooties, not girls. I connected my pinky with his and said
"Yes, I pinky promise, boys have cooties as well, anyway. Do you promise the same?" I replied trying to my make my voice sound formal too. He nodded.
"Yup, promise" he grinned.
"Who is that?" I asked tilting my head to the side and studying the back of the boy, he was stood knee deep in the river, skimming stones.
"I don't know" Sam shrugged "New kid" he seemed unbothered but the new kids presence bothered me for some reason. I jumped up, dusting off my hands and walked over to him, stopping just before the water so I didn't get wet.
"Hey you!" I shouted but the boy didn't turn around. "Hey, you'll I repeated and he turned around, realizing that yes I was talking to him. "Who are you?" I put my hands on my hips, I didn't let him finish though "You can't come here, this is our place" I sneered.
"I was just skimming stones, its really fun" he smiled a toothy smile and headed in my direction.
"My Mom owns the house just there" I turned and gestured to where THE forests was, you couldn't actually see the house because the forest hid it but I knew the house was there so I pointed in that direction anyway.
"I was just having fun" his voice was sad.
"I don't care, get out of here" I shoved his shoulder.
"Ow" he muttered "I didn't mean any harm"
"You don't belong here!" I shoved him harder this time and he fell on his butt. Quickly he stood, wiped his bleeding elbow wish his hand and ran away. And I laughed.
I had endless amounts of time to kill, but remembering the past wasn't a very intelligent thing to do, it was painful. Especially when you didn't know if you'd see the people you were thinking about ever again. Mind you, I hadn't seen Sam in years, he hadn't called me since he found out about my 'career choice'
I tried my hardest to remember the boy from my memory, the boy skimming stones, the boy I was mean to. But his face was a static fuzzy blur, I couldn't picture his eyes or his hair or anything about him.
All I remembered was the sound of his sad voice.
Guilt stabbed at me, I know I was young but that was so cruel of me, how could I do that to someone and not care? I guess this is my karma, what I get for being such an evil bitch at such an early age. I deserved it.
I glanced at the tray that held my empty plate, wishing it was full, because at least then I'd have something to do instead of wasting my time looking at the mouldy walls.
I don't know how long went by. That's the thing with time, it's so insignificant. When you're going about your day, you measure it, you keep it, but you don't really care for it, it's all an automatic robotic mentality, really. However when you have nothing to do, seconds felt like decades and I felt like my mind was going to explode if I didn't do something—and considering I was chained to a wall—I couldn't really do anything, so I settled for the one thing I could do, yell.
I shouted at the top of my lungs, trying to get the ogres attention. Although I hated his guts and if I never saw him again, it'd still be too soon. I needed to hold onto my sanity. I needed some form of human contact.
"Will you stop making so much fucking noise, jesus, what do you want?" He snapped, entering the room, he looked very unusually unlike himself, exhausted and drained, purple circles patterned underneath his eyes. The state of him made me smile, karma is a bitch!
"Well?" He pressed when I didn't answer.
"Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you were addressing Jesus, I thought you were having some sort of spiritual moment" I said all blasé. He shook his head and kicked the door in anger.
"Don't push me today, seriously" he growled.
"Had a bad day? Aww, why don't you unchain me, I'll make you feel real good" I was turning on the hooker inside of me.
I knew how this would look to any observers or witnesses, I knew I'd look like a predatory whore, but there was method to my madness. My logic was this: everybody wants what the cannot have, correct? So if I stop resisting, protesting and refusing, maybe he wouldn't want me anymore, right? Maybe he'd get bored and let me go.
Maybe.
"What?" Just as I anticipated, he was taken aback by my slutty turn around.
"Aw come on, I thought this was what you wanted?" I battered my eyelids at him, as cheaply as I could muster, I felt nauseated by my own behaviour but I knew it was the right approach. His confusion lasted a few seconds longer and then shook his head and left.
Step one equals complete.
I smiled victoriously.
"You know that new kid?" Sam asked
"Yeah?"
"I don't think he has any friends"
"So what?" I snapped
"We should be nice to him"
"No. He's the new kid, this is our fairy tale land, he can't share it with us" I pouted
"Well I think you're mean" Sam shouted, that was the first time he'd ever shouted at me in a nasty way and I wanted to cry.
"Well I hate you" I yelled, walking away from him, crying, like the little cry baby I am.
Dammit, I was so mean, why couldn't I just forget those memories? Why was it impossible to just throw away all the bad stuff as if it never existed, why?
My eyes were beginning to droop, boredom has made its way into my veins and settled there hours ago. Someone opening the door made me hyper-alert, I looked up quickly and saw a short guy walk in the door—Vic.
Mike still sat across from me, we'd been sat this way for hours, he'd held me while I cried and then we sat in silence. It was a comfortable silence though—well as comfortable as you can possibly feel in my situation.
I had questions, I needed answers, there was so many circling my brain, dancing on my tongue, burning the back of my throat. What harm would it do, right?
"Why doesn't Vic talk?" I started with the question that had been bothering me mostly. Mike's head abruptly snapped up from his penetrating gaze at the floor at the sound of my voice, slicing through the silence he had obviously gotten used to.
"Er, um, yeah, it's a long story" he shrugged not meeting my eyes and I got the feeling he didn't want to talk about it. Something inside me told me to keep pushing though, to keep interrogating until I knew the answer.
"I'm not exactly going anywhere any time soon" I was referring to the chains with a bitter laugh "So, I have a pretty long time, spill" he smiled sadly and sighed heavily.
"It's not really my story to tell" he looked conflicted. As if he wanted to tell me but it was too painful a memory to recall.
"I doubt Vic's going to be telling me it any time soon" I pointed out, rather insensitively and he winced. I thought I'd just leave the topic as it was clearly a touchy topic.
"When are you getting Vic from the hospital?" I asked trying to change the subject slightly. His jaw dropped and alarm scribbles itself all over his face.
"Shit, oh shit!" He exclaimed, looking at his wrist for a watch that wasn't there and then digging in his skinny jeans for something. He produced a phone and looked at the time. "Oh fuck! I can't believe I forgot" he stood up and hurried out of the room.
And just like that I was alone.
"Everyone keeps calling you my girlfriend" Sam wrinkled his nose up in distaste and I laughed. The lake was a few yards away from our naked feet, making soft swooshing sounds as we sat on the ground, carefree and six years old.
"Ew no, girlfriends and boyfriends have to kiss!" I mirrored his grossed out expression, picking up a stone near my foot and throwing it as far as I could—it didn't reach the lake.
"Girls are icky" he shook his head, picking up a stone himself and trying to throw it further than I'd thrown mine—he managed to.
"So are boys!" I folded my arms over my chest. He stuck out his pinky and closed his eyes, trying to make his stupid girly voice sound formal.
"Do you pinky promise to never kiss boys or girls ever?"
"Girls? Why would I kiss girls?" I asked with genuine confusion.
"I don't know, I just don't want you to catch cooties!" I rolled my eyes, boys have cooties, not girls. I connected my pinky with his and said
"Yes, I pinky promise, boys have cooties as well, anyway. Do you promise the same?" I replied trying to my make my voice sound formal too. He nodded.
"Yup, promise" he grinned.
"Who is that?" I asked tilting my head to the side and studying the back of the boy, he was stood knee deep in the river, skimming stones.
"I don't know" Sam shrugged "New kid" he seemed unbothered but the new kids presence bothered me for some reason. I jumped up, dusting off my hands and walked over to him, stopping just before the water so I didn't get wet.
"Hey you!" I shouted but the boy didn't turn around. "Hey, you'll I repeated and he turned around, realizing that yes I was talking to him. "Who are you?" I put my hands on my hips, I didn't let him finish though "You can't come here, this is our place" I sneered.
"I was just skimming stones, its really fun" he smiled a toothy smile and headed in my direction.
"My Mom owns the house just there" I turned and gestured to where THE forests was, you couldn't actually see the house because the forest hid it but I knew the house was there so I pointed in that direction anyway.
"I was just having fun" his voice was sad.
"I don't care, get out of here" I shoved his shoulder.
"Ow" he muttered "I didn't mean any harm"
"You don't belong here!" I shoved him harder this time and he fell on his butt. Quickly he stood, wiped his bleeding elbow wish his hand and ran away. And I laughed.
I had endless amounts of time to kill, but remembering the past wasn't a very intelligent thing to do, it was painful. Especially when you didn't know if you'd see the people you were thinking about ever again. Mind you, I hadn't seen Sam in years, he hadn't called me since he found out about my 'career choice'
I tried my hardest to remember the boy from my memory, the boy skimming stones, the boy I was mean to. But his face was a static fuzzy blur, I couldn't picture his eyes or his hair or anything about him.
All I remembered was the sound of his sad voice.
Guilt stabbed at me, I know I was young but that was so cruel of me, how could I do that to someone and not care? I guess this is my karma, what I get for being such an evil bitch at such an early age. I deserved it.
I glanced at the tray that held my empty plate, wishing it was full, because at least then I'd have something to do instead of wasting my time looking at the mouldy walls.
I don't know how long went by. That's the thing with time, it's so insignificant. When you're going about your day, you measure it, you keep it, but you don't really care for it, it's all an automatic robotic mentality, really. However when you have nothing to do, seconds felt like decades and I felt like my mind was going to explode if I didn't do something—and considering I was chained to a wall—I couldn't really do anything, so I settled for the one thing I could do, yell.
I shouted at the top of my lungs, trying to get the ogres attention. Although I hated his guts and if I never saw him again, it'd still be too soon. I needed to hold onto my sanity. I needed some form of human contact.
"Will you stop making so much fucking noise, jesus, what do you want?" He snapped, entering the room, he looked very unusually unlike himself, exhausted and drained, purple circles patterned underneath his eyes. The state of him made me smile, karma is a bitch!
"Well?" He pressed when I didn't answer.
"Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you were addressing Jesus, I thought you were having some sort of spiritual moment" I said all blasé. He shook his head and kicked the door in anger.
"Don't push me today, seriously" he growled.
"Had a bad day? Aww, why don't you unchain me, I'll make you feel real good" I was turning on the hooker inside of me.
I knew how this would look to any observers or witnesses, I knew I'd look like a predatory whore, but there was method to my madness. My logic was this: everybody wants what the cannot have, correct? So if I stop resisting, protesting and refusing, maybe he wouldn't want me anymore, right? Maybe he'd get bored and let me go.
Maybe.
"What?" Just as I anticipated, he was taken aback by my slutty turn around.
"Aw come on, I thought this was what you wanted?" I battered my eyelids at him, as cheaply as I could muster, I felt nauseated by my own behaviour but I knew it was the right approach. His confusion lasted a few seconds longer and then shook his head and left.
Step one equals complete.
I smiled victoriously.
"You know that new kid?" Sam asked
"Yeah?"
"I don't think he has any friends"
"So what?" I snapped
"We should be nice to him"
"No. He's the new kid, this is our fairy tale land, he can't share it with us" I pouted
"Well I think you're mean" Sam shouted, that was the first time he'd ever shouted at me in a nasty way and I wanted to cry.
"Well I hate you" I yelled, walking away from him, crying, like the little cry baby I am.
Dammit, I was so mean, why couldn't I just forget those memories? Why was it impossible to just throw away all the bad stuff as if it never existed, why?
My eyes were beginning to droop, boredom has made its way into my veins and settled there hours ago. Someone opening the door made me hyper-alert, I looked up quickly and saw a short guy walk in the door—Vic.
Notes
This isn't up to good standards because I'm away and I was feeling sneaky so I updated even though I said I wouldn't!Just thought I'd leave it on a happy note for a change.
Vic is all better yay :)
Feedback is appreciated
You guys are grand
SEQUEL !
1/17/14